Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D
I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)
Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 17
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 477
Last Update: October 17, 2011
Visitors: 29122
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Everyone knows me as a like funny guy who goes all out for the dress up days in highschool. Can you guys help me think of something like outrageous to wear?? ill wear almost anything! (link)
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Wear different socks and different shoes. ummm put on lipstick slightly off your lips and do your eyeshadow very unevenly. Wear two really crazy patterns that don't match whatsover for your shirt and pants respectively. That's all i can think off.
HAVE FUN :]
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I'm 14 (female) and I like a guy a lot but I've just found out from my friend that he smokes weed along with loads of other guys from my year. The problem is I still like him a bit because I cant really believe it...what should I do about it and should I carry on as if I dont know and that everything is normal?? (link)
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Hey. I feel like at least from what I've seen in high school and college, a lot of young people these days use marijuana. I'm not saying that I advocate for or even against it, but the truth is that you're bound to meet people who do. I also don't want to sterotype anyone who does smoke weed. I'm from california so weed smokers are literally everywhere. However, I feel like what one chooses to do with his body is a personal decision. A person who does smoke weed isn't less of a good person or automatically undatable. Of course it depends on you. Would it upset you to be around someone who smoke regularly? Are you strongly against the use of weed? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. Also, remember that he has a lot of other qualities as well. Try to see if the weed smoking is the center of his life. I've met people who smoke recreationally and also those who are high at all times of the day. Is he smart? Nice? Thoughtful? Fun? You shouldn't act like you know that he smokes and definitely don't tell him that you know. Be the same as you have been in the past and try to see if he's the type of boy that you are looking for. If he isn't then it'll be fine; you'll move on and find a boy who does fit the description of what you're looking for. I hope everything works out for the best.
Good luck
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19/f so there's this guy who sits behind me in english class. we talk a lot. and i flirt with him and he flirts with me. I've noticed that when i am doing something at me he'll stare at me, and doesn't think i see him, but i do, and i do the same to him. well he also smiled at me in class and then looked down and and smiled. i think i made it a little obvious. but i can't really tell if he really likes me. He tease me, like in class if i say something wrong he'll correct me, and when i walked in class one day he said your late, and i was like thanks mom? lol so idk and today i asked him for gum and he said he had some in his car. my class is on the third floor so i took the stairs, and he going in the same direction. and i asked him if he was following me but he just said what. and whenever i would turn around and kind of look in his direction he would smile. and ii kind of slowed down and he walked next to me and asked me if i wanted some gum in my car since i asked for some earlier. and he gave me some. it was weird because i wasn't sure what to say to him. i felt like he knows i like him and wanted to say something but i couldn't. i felt stupid for not saying anything, but at the same time i kept telling myself that he was probably just being nice, and to stop getting in over my head. in class i asked my friend if i should ask him to hangout. except for when i talked to her i said should i hang out with her? to not make it obvious. but he was smiling at me when i turned around so i think he knew i was talking about him. haha we talk outside of class like on other days when i see him around school. i mean does he like me? haha (link)
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Hello.
The thing is, it's just as likely that he does like you or that he doesn't like you. I mean, yes, smiles and niceness are sometimes signs of flirting, but they are also signs of friendliness. I don't want to sound bitter, but I went for many months convinced that a guy liked me because it was oh so obvious to me. I finally told him how I felt and was surprized to find out that he had no interest in me.
So what I learned from this little experience is that a guy will typically pursue a girl that he is interested in. How long have you known him? If it has been many months already and he still hasn't tried to hang out with you or ask you on a date, then he probabyly doesn't want to. But if you've only known him for a few weeks, then maybe he is working up to it. Maybe he is trying to figure out whether or not you are interested. But see, that's the trouble with crushes: The more time you invest in them, the more time you pine over someone without taking definitive action, the more complicated it becomes. Regardless of whether or not he seems to like you or not, your instincts are in the right place. Asking him to hang out is a great idea. If he tries to avoid hanging out with you, then you'll know he isn't interested. If he agrees to hang out, then you have some potential. And, if the hang out goes well, then there can be future hang outs and happy outcomes :).
I don't know if he likes you. You don't know if he likes you. And no matter how much you analyze the signs the he is giving you, you and this guy aren't going to go anywhere unless someone takes initiative. So go for it! :D
Good luck and take care.
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I finally tought I was getting over a guy but I guess I'm not. I tried the usual not talking to him that much and doing other things to keep my mind off him and it was working until yesterday. We were with a group of friends so he joined the group and started talking to me again. Of course only as a friend not flirting or anything but I guess I still like him because I melted inside. What else can I do to ge over him? By the way I know he dosnt like me as more than a friend because my friend asked him. (link)
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Hello.
Yikes, I can definitely relate. It's like your mind understands that liking him is pointless, but your heart doesn't; however, I've been through this enough times to learn that we can't MAKE ourselves stop liking someone. I think that making conscious efforts to "distract" yourself actually makes you think about a guy more. I'm not saying that you shouldn't go out with friends and do things that absolutely don't involve him: you should! But just remember that liking him isn't a bad thing. You're going to like people your whole life: sometimes they'll like you and sometimes they won't. Try to think of this guy in terms of the whole scope of your life. Despite his amazing qualities, he isn't the ONLY guy who is amazing and he may not even be THAT amazing.
There are some ways to get your mind off of him though. Do you like anyone else? Even if it's just a small crush, the thought of it might lure you towards something a little more tangible. Also, and more importantly, I noticed one important thing that you said. You've never had a conversation with him regarding your feelings. Sure, you know he doesn't like you that way, but you never actually had any "closure." A way to get closure would be to write this guy a letter with all your feelings, why you're upset, etc. Be as honest as possible and, when you're done, put the letter away and never give it to him. The process is somewhat therapeutic and can help you reach a greater level of understanding about your crush. It should put things into perspective for you and be a little relieving. Also, if you have a facebook or other social network profile, do not not not look at his page. If he comes up in your news feed, then fine. But do not look at his page because that will only fuel your crush. Actually, avoid the internet as much as possible. Avoid your house. Go out, have fun, realize how amazing your life already is without this guy. Don't try to convince yourself to not like him, but realize that liking him is not in your best interest. These feelings will subside soon enough and until then don't despair. Be tough and if it helps, try to think of a time when you felt more heartbroken (i.e. after a break up) and realize that this isn't as bad. These are all the things that have helped me in the past and that are helping me right now. I already feel much better and I'm sure you'll feel better very soon!
Take care, hun!
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I have this friend who cant go to the mall alone. I offered my BFF and her to go to the mall, but she said that she would go if her mom with us! I can tell I cant be myself or buy the things I would regularly buy with her mom around. UGHH! How can I tell her I dont want her freakin mom to come to the mall with us! (link)
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Hello.
Wait, I'm a little confused. Is she not allowed to go to the mall without her mom or does she not WANT to go without her mom? I think you should just be upfront about this. Tell her that, though her mom is cool, you'd like to just hang out with her. You can bring up something about age differences or play it off like you're embarrassed. Tell her that you want to talk about cute boys without her mom there, because it's embarrassing (lol)!! (That's just an example. Other excuses would work) Worse case scenario, your friend, or her mom's rules, will continue to be difficult. You could always just find other "mall" friends and hang out with this one friend for different occasions (like say a movie, or dinner). Also, maybe she would want to (or be able to) hang out without her mom if you brought a bigger group of friends with you. Instead of three girls, you could hang out with 6, for example.
I know this can be frustrating, but sometimes parents are a little overprotective. You can't really change it, but you can work around it. Try to have a lot of close friends so that you never feel bummed about not being able to hang out with one of them. Also, it might not be such a bad thing to hang out with this girl and her mom every once in a while. Eventually, things may change.
Good luck and take care.
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well i got a big nose and keep pullen dem gurls and i dont know how an i dont know how to fix it (link)
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Hello.
I don't know if anyone else can follow what you're saying, because I really can't. Try rephrasing your question.
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I really like my best friend. He's funny, smart, cute, nice, everything! But I'm not really sure how to tell him. I'm not really a person that likes her feelings out in the open, and I definitely don't like talking about them! So how am I supposed to let him know, or how to ask him out? (link)
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Hello.
Well if you want to tell him, then you're going to have to get over not wanting your feelings out there. It's tough, I know, but once you take the plunge, then it'll be over. It's strange: we put all this effort into a crush that seems to drag on forever and are constantly wondering if the feelings are reciprocated. The most obvious solution would be to just say "hey, I like you." It's really really scary and nerve wracking to say those words, but it's much better to put all the effort that you spend crushing, on admitting your feelings. No matter what happens, you'll finally have your response. Sure, it might be a little strange and maybe even embarrassing, but that feeling will pass. The feeling that won't pass, is the feeling of regret for allowing this opportunity to pass you by.
Get your best friend alone (shouldn't be too hard since you're super close) and tell him that you have something to tell him. Tell him that you don't want it to affect your friendship. And then just tell him, or if you prefer, ask him if he would like to hang out sometime on a "date." It really doesn't matter how you say it, but only that you do say it. You'll feel much better afterward! It's very liberating to not have to bear the secret any longer! :)
Best of luck to you & take care.
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Where can I find Haley? I don't even know her username! How can I find her to ask questions!? She gives awesome advice!!! (link)
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Hello.
Hmm if you can't find her through the search engine, try posting a new question titled "click if your name is Haley" or something along those lines. Maybe Haley will find you :).
Good luck!
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ohkay so i wanna break up with my boyfriend bhut everytime i do he pulls me back in because i think hes cheating on me everytime he updates his status it sayss 11-3-10 and our date is 9-22-10 and hes always telling me that its his court date or his baby bro bday but it says i dont ever want to end us and its a new lie everyday and he keeps saying how he doesnt cheat on girls and he wont ever do it to me and i dont what to do anymoree (link)
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Hello.
If he keeps lying to you and you've caught him at it, then he's obviously hiding something. It might not be another girl, but the fact that he needs to keep things from you is suspicious enough. You really don't need all the stress of a relationship filled with lies. Break up with him before he starts pulling you back again. The more time you let pass by, the less you'll want to let him go. Get him out of your life and drop all contact with him if you can. That way he won't try to persuade you to get back together. You can do this and you want to do this, so don't let anything hold you back. You'll be better off without him.
Take care.
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there is this i guy i like. Im like best friends with his family. I stay over their house alot so i know practically their whole family and they have a huge family. Their family is close. Me and him are the same age and so people always say stuff like maybe you guys like each other. We both just deny it and smile. We are completely different so I think he thinks that i would never like him. My little cousin once was like melanie likes you and i was like no i dont she is just lying and he was like yeah i dont think she would say something like that plus he knows that my little cousin adores him so he believed me but in reality i do like him i like him alike. Im just tired of him not knowing. I dont want him to find another girl. I dont want to tell him because i dont want to make it awkward between the family and me. Even though their family likes me and treats me like im their family. I dont think they ever have thoughts of me and him dating. I dont want the whole family to know anyways. I just want him to know that I like him. Im shy also so i cant just tell him. He does have a picture of me and his sister in his bible. So i think thats kind of a big deal cuz why would he have a pic of me in there. But he isnt living at home he is in another country till next year so im not planning on anything till then and i would be almost graduating. So what should i do? and how should i? Im confused and he is always on my mind and i dont want him too like any other girl. O yeah i cant text him or facebook him because him and his sister share a phone and he doesnt have myspace or facebook or anything like that (link)
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Hello.
Wow, I can really relate to this; actually, i think a lot of people can relate. You're never going to get the answer to your question unless you just admit your feelings. Sure, you COULD wait around for him to maybe, someday tell you that he likes you, but that may never happen. If he hasn't told you in all these years, then it's unlikely that he'll come out with his feelings now.
So I think you idea to be straightforward is a great idea. Wait for him to come back, and when you two are alone together, just tell him. The exact words that you use don't matter. Just make him understand that you don't want this to come between your friendship and that you would appreciate it if he didn't tell his family about it. Telling him will bring a resolution to all your wondering and will also take a huge weight off of your shoulders. Holding in your feelings in is pretty stressful in itself.
Also, maybe this is just me, but whenever I have told a guy how I feel about him and he has told me that he only likes me as a friend, it actually makes it really easy to move on. Sure, it hurts at first, but I also feel really glad and relieved. Part of what keeps us so enthralled with someone is the mystery of whether or not they like us. Once we figure out how they feel we are no longer living in some fantasy land, but in reality. I'm sure you don't want to go on liking him forever and wondering "what if." Take the risk and tell him how you feel. You'll feel much better afterward.
Good luck and take care.
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How can I feel more motivated to do things like assignments at school? My grades arnt very good right now and its not helping that my mom is critisizing me for it (link)
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Hello.
Think about what you would like to do with your life. I know that school is sometimes really annoying and stressful, and that you would rather be doing other things, but your grades are going to determine your future. Your mom only wants the best for you. Doing well in high school will make the difference between being able to go to college and have a successful career or having a full-time, minimum-wage, unsatisfying job for the rest of your life. Think about your future and it will scare you into getting better grades :)!
Take care
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13/f
12/m
ok so theres this guy who i really like. he is nice sweet. yells out that im beautiful in the middle of class. has asked me out twice. texts me almost everyday even thought it cost him 40 cents a text and he is really nice. but ive had 2 say no wen he asked me out because my parents wont let me have a boyfriend. he even said hell wait 2 years 2 be able 2 go out with me in high school what should i do??? and i cant go out with him and not tell my parents because 1.) i wont b able 2 go on any dates with him
2.)if my parents find out ill lose my fone my ipod my tv tha laptop tha computer ect.
so please help me. thankyou (link)
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Hello.
Well you are kind of young, from a parent's perspective. When I was 13 my parents definitely didn't let me date, and even now, at 17, my dad still gets a little tense in the face at the idea of me having a boyfriend. Is it possible for you two to just "date" at school? I feel like middle school relationships probably don't really require dates or any of that. Anyhow, if you wanted to hang out with him outside of school, you could always go with other people so as not to make it look suspicious. I'm not advocating for you to go behind your parents' backs, but I think the main concern for parents is that you'll somehow get "hurt" either by the guy or by the heartbreak. Relationships are tricky and especially now there is so much pressure to do things that you may or may not be ready for. I'll spare you the rest of the lecture. Point is: Your parents probably aren't going to change their minds anytime soon, so your best bet is to just settle for what you can do. Have a school boyfriend and maybe go to school dances and out with friends from time to time. Make the best of it! It can still be fun and eventually you can really date a boy.
Take care
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I am very confused about guys (hence the title) and I found myself asking me a few questions. See, I like my best friend, whom I'm not sure likes me back. I've like him for 2 years. But a few select times, I find myself thinking about another guy as well. And I find out that I have a small crush on another guy, as well as really liking my best friend. Am I some kind of whore? Is it because my best friend might not like me? Is it because I want a boyfriend? I'm so confused!! (link)
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Hello.
A "WHORE"?!? What? noooooo.
Liking two people at once does not make you anywhere near a whore. This is definitely normal. There are so many nice, attractive young men in the world, so liking two at the same time is bound to happen eventually. Besides, like you said, it isn't as though you're obsessed with both. Crushes are fun distractions and they happen all the time. Your crush on the other boy might not have anything to do with your crush on your best friend. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty or wrong about liking the other guy.
But since you like your best friend much more, you should try to figure out if he does like you. Have you tried figuring out body language or maybe if your friend seems to pay extra attention to you? Since you guys are super close anyways, you could ask him to go to a movie or something and see how he acts when you two are alone. I'm not saying you need to tell him it's a date. Keep it casual and you can try to notice if he feels the same way. If you find out that he doesn't seem to like you that way, then at least you'll be free to know that you tried. Luckily, there's no need to "mess up your friendship" by proclaiming your crush.
Take care & good luck!
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I am a female senior in highschool and I currently like a guy who is a freshman. He's three years younger than me. Is that wrong? What should I do? I'm afraid to tell anybody because I think I'll get teased, but on the other hand I really like the guy and hes way mature for his age :) Help! Im so confused. (link)
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Hello!
I can definitely relate to this and don't find it "wrong" at all! (I'm biased) We can't control what age people are, when they were born, etc. If he's so amazing then you should definitely go for it. Imagine if you were a freshman and a senior liked you. I know a couple that lasted years after high school and they were the same ages as you and this boy. They went to prom together and everything, very cute indeed. I think it would be very flattering to be liked by someone older, so if anything, this boy should feel honored :). I don't think that you'll be teased. Just tell your closest friends about it, and maybe...tell him as well. I don't know how close you two are, but it would be good to ask him to hang out sometime or just to try to be closer to him first. Go for it! YAY!
Good luck!
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what do i do im goin with a boy nd ive jst meet a new boy nd im kind of a goin with him nd a dnt want to dump any of them cozz there really nice nd i got a message from my first boyfriend saying i love u shannon yer gorjiss :s (link)
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Hello.
Hmm, well what if these two boyfriends found out about eachother? Then you would probably be boyfriendless. Personally, I think it's dishonest to have to boyfriends at once, unless of course they both know about it and the three of you are okay with it (but that's a really rare situation). Options:
1. Be honest with both of them about having two boyfriends
2. Keep one of your boyfriends. Try to make a rational decision based on which of these two guys you care about more or relate to more.
Also, try to think about their feelings. It's not very fun to give someone your whole heart when that person is only giving you half. Please be considerate and be mature. Also, like someone else has already said, your first boyfriend seems to have some spelling issues. I'm not saying that that reflects poorly on his character, but intelligence might be another factor to consider here.
Good luck.
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I'm cold all the time. It's weird because I can never seem to get warm. My feet and toes and fingers and most cold but like arms and legs are cold too. I sleep with 3 blankets on me and try to keep bundled up. I use to even wear long sleeves in the summertime until everybody was like making fun of me and saying I must be a cutter (I don't cut myself) and was trying to cover it up. I just get cold easily. What does it mean? (link)
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Hello.
I get cold easily too, but I think that it's because I'm really thin. Also, it doesn't help that the air conditioning is on all the time at school/office buildings. Your body may just be sensitive to coldness. IF you are cold even on a hot day, then this might be something serious. Just to be safe you could tell your doctor about it or perhaps run a google search and try to self- diagnose.
Take care.
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okay. so i have really hairy arms. i am a girl and its embarrassing. everyone always makes fun of me and tells me to shave it. i really want to but i dont want to make it seem like im "bieng bullied" and "giving in" and listening to them. or even making it seem like i care so much. (im trtying to make it seem like i dont care". the answer is probly going to be "hey. u should just be confident in yourself..blah blah blah" but i would like a rlly answer. is putting alittle bit of nair on my arms going to take off only a little bit of hair so its not like "naked"? also i have a crush and i think he likes me too but i know for a fact he doesnt like my arm hair. okay thanx for listening bye. (link)
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Hello.
Ugh, I'm sorry about this whole situation. It's so unfortunate that "beauty standards" these days are so far from reality. How can one help what one was born with?
I too have a have hairy genes and I've been teased and self-conscious about it in the past. I'm not sure how old you are, but the teasing definitely lessens with age. Younger kids I find to actually be MORE cruel than young adults.
Your nair idea is probably a good one, but if you leave the cream on for the recommended time on the instructions, then all your hair will come off. It says something like 3 minutes, so it would be best if you kept it on for half that time so that only some of the hair will come off.
Ultimately I think that this isn't about "giving in" to anyone. What you decide to do is entirely up to you and should be based on what makes you feel best. The way I think of it is that every time I shave my legs I am conforming to a social standard. Think of people who get breast surgery or liposuction. Guys also have issues with how they present themselves in society. We all have insecurities and will especially feel them if others constantly point them out.
Try the nair thing once and, if it makes you feel better, then stick with it. And aside from this you should be happy and confident with who you are. People are going to judge you everywhere you go and for the rest of your life. Whether or not you let it get to you is the true test of your confidence. Honestly, who cares?! Those people who are judging you are low-lifes who sadly have nothing better to do than put down others. Those people are indeed pathetic.
I hope all of this helped.
Take care!
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I love him to death, but yet I worry about him seeing me naked. Is this normal? He isn't superficial at all or anything like that but I still worry I compare myself to others all the time and I don't look like them :( Idk anymore (link)
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Hello.
This is so normal. But just remember that he obviously loves you as well and he picked you out of all people in the world! Or look at it this way: Do you care about what he looks like naked? NOOO, because you love him. It's exactly the same thing.
Try not to worry about it. :)
Take care
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Ok so a year or so ago, I met a guy through one of my best friends. He had only split up from his girlfriend less than a month (he was with her for 2 years) I didn't find this out until after I started dating him. Do you think I was the rebound? I think I was. Anyway I broke up with him over some differences we had. We remained sorta friends in the meantime. He started dating another girl and he has only broken up with her for just over a month. He broke up with her, but I know he still loves her and thinks about her all the time (he told someone I know this) He has started talking to me again and flirting with me, is he just using me to get over her? I know he kissed her last week and she kissed him back but then she told him she doesn't want anything to do with him (link)
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Hello.
Though he may "like" you, it's strange how he tends to come to you after break ups. :/
I think the question here is HOW MUCH he likes you. I think you deserve better than being a second choice to someone. There's this saying that I've heard: "Don't make someone your priority when you are just their option." It sounds harsh, I know, but hopefully you can take this experience for what it's worth and try move on. If you stop talking to him altogether then it will be easier to move on. Someday you'll find a guy for whom you are the first and only choice!
Take care.
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ok so this is gonna seem weird but sometimes i picture a guy who i would think would make the perfect boyfriend like i imagine scenerios where me and this guy are together and what it would be like its not like hes an imaginary because i know he doesnt exist i just kind of picture what it would be like to have a perfect boyfriend and i picture those movie scenes and want them to be my life i feel like im super weird though so is that weird?! (link)
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Hello.
No no no! Not weird at all. Unless of course I am also a werido :). Honestly, tons of girls and guys do this as well.
You probably have an active imagination. I'm also guessing that you don't have a crush on anyone at the moment, otherwise you might be pining over him instead. Love makes people all giddy inside, be it fantasy, infatuation, or the real deal. As long as your fantasies are just fun and aren't actually making you upset in real life, then I don't see a problem here. Also, it's good to have high expectations for a guy. That way when you do eventually find a boyfriend you'll ensure that he'll be an amazing guy. Yay! Everyone's happy!
Take care :).
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