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I need to move on it's been way to long
I finally tought I was getting over a guy but I guess I'm not. I tried the usual not talking to him that much and doing other things to keep my mind off him and it was working until yesterday. We were with a group of friends so he joined the group and started talking to me again. Of course only as a friend not flirting or anything but I guess I still like him because I melted inside. What else can I do to ge over him? By the way I know he dosnt like me as more than a friend because my friend asked him.
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It sucks because seeing an ex is just reopening an old wound.
I always tell people to make a list of things you want to do and start doing them. This means you will discover more about yourself. And quite frankly when you do meet a new person, you're going to wish for some time to yourself from time to time.
Guess what you're single! That means you don't have to feel guilty for flirting, you can go out with friends without checking in, and basically be free.
Why am I telling you to do things for yourself? When you do, you see that missing someone is just really missing the idea of someone. When you melted inside you really only missed the familiarity and safety that person gave you, you don't miss the fighting and the real life complacency. Being single has liberated you to be awesome and rediscover yourself. Life is too short to be worried about an ex. Not when a gal like you has the world at her fingertips.
PS there is no greater revenge than living well. When people see a liberated happy person... that's attractive
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Hello.
Yikes, I can definitely relate. It's like your mind understands that liking him is pointless, but your heart doesn't; however, I've been through this enough times to learn that we can't MAKE ourselves stop liking someone. I think that making conscious efforts to "distract" yourself actually makes you think about a guy more. I'm not saying that you shouldn't go out with friends and do things that absolutely don't involve him: you should! But just remember that liking him isn't a bad thing. You're going to like people your whole life: sometimes they'll like you and sometimes they won't. Try to think of this guy in terms of the whole scope of your life. Despite his amazing qualities, he isn't the ONLY guy who is amazing and he may not even be THAT amazing.
There are some ways to get your mind off of him though. Do you like anyone else? Even if it's just a small crush, the thought of it might lure you towards something a little more tangible. Also, and more importantly, I noticed one important thing that you said. You've never had a conversation with him regarding your feelings. Sure, you know he doesn't like you that way, but you never actually had any "closure." A way to get closure would be to write this guy a letter with all your feelings, why you're upset, etc. Be as honest as possible and, when you're done, put the letter away and never give it to him. The process is somewhat therapeutic and can help you reach a greater level of understanding about your crush. It should put things into perspective for you and be a little relieving. Also, if you have a facebook or other social network profile, do not not not look at his page. If he comes up in your news feed, then fine. But do not look at his page because that will only fuel your crush. Actually, avoid the internet as much as possible. Avoid your house. Go out, have fun, realize how amazing your life already is without this guy. Don't try to convince yourself to not like him, but realize that liking him is not in your best interest. These feelings will subside soon enough and until then don't despair. Be tough and if it helps, try to think of a time when you felt more heartbroken (i.e. after a break up) and realize that this isn't as bad. These are all the things that have helped me in the past and that are helping me right now. I already feel much better and I'm sure you'll feel better very soon!
Take care, hun!
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