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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I was molested by my dad when I was 3 by my dad and I dont know who to beiieve anymore becouse my dad's side of the family says that my mom's liying ad my mom says they are lying and I can't even ask my dad about it becouse he died when I was 12 and he probally wouldn't tell me the truth anyway. Iam still having nightmares about a little girl who was eating supper on a man's lap and the police coming and the cops arresting him and putting her in a different cop car and I wake up screaming every time I have that dream.
I'm sorry that your dad put you something like this. No child should ever be abused let alone abused in this manner.
I cannot tell who to believe. What I can do for you is offer advice on how do deal with the nightmares and get on with your life. There is an organization I would like you to contact. There name is; RAINN, which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. I will put their phone number and web link at the end.
This organization was formed to help people just like you who have been traumatized by rape, abuse or incest. They will help you find people in your neighborhood who will help you deal with the nightmares and get your life back on track. There is no shame in asking for help. The abuse you have suffered is deep seated and with the help of professional councilors you can learn to not only deal with this but to put it behind you.
You do not need parental permission to call them and everything you tell them is confidential.
Please call RIANN at 1-800-656-HOPE. The call takers are trained to help them so talk freely with them. Their web address is : http://www.rainn.org/.
So I've been with the same guy now for about 2 years. We're happy together. The only problem is that my family hates him. He's never done anything to anyone, he's been nothing but polite and cordial. Their hate is based completely off his looks. They are all mad because they think I can do better. But I don't care what he looks like. How do I tell them to mind their own business, and come to me with their problems?
I agree with gr8fruit. For whatever reason your family is being very vain. If your boyfriend loves you, does nothing to hurt you, is able to hold a job that supports himself and can contribute to a family should you to marry or move in together, if not already doing so; then they should be happy for you.
I have told numerous people that have written to this website that looks are only skin deep. You have to get to know the real person. Beauty will attract someone but intellect, knowledge and human decency is what keeps a relationship a live. To many of the "Beautiful People" lack these qualities and this is why their relationships don't last as they rely solely on their looks.
Your parents should be proud of you for looking past that which is only shin deep and finding the solemate that resides within.
As to what to say to your parents; I would say to you, say nothing. They have already made up their minds. If you feel you have to say something you could say something along the lines as this: I know you don't care for ________ but I love him. He makes me happy, he makes me feel secure in myself and safe when I am with him. I don't know what the future holds for us as a couple but I want to follow this road wherever it takes me. You have two choices here; you can walk this road with me and get to know the real _____, or you can stand on the side of the road and be judgemental. Should you chose the later it is your loss for you are missing the opportunity of getting to know a really great person.
12/girl
I wanna earn some money so I could buy supplies 4 a guinea pig. So does anyone have ideas for a small neighborhood job that I could start w/ my mom? Maybe we could do something that has to do with cleaning houses, pet/baby sitting?
Anyone that has an idea & doesn't answer is being very lazy. I appreciate any answers that come.
Thank you.
If your end note is your typical demeanor you are going to find it hard to find odd jobs around your neighborhood. No one likes a smart ass or some one that is just plain rude as you have been with your end note. No matter hoe much they might need the service you offer if they find you rude and obnoxious they will wait and find someone else. Take this as a word toe the wise and think about how you approach people.
As to jobs you can do around the neighborhood. I would make up a flier listing the jobs you are willing to do and the hours you are available to do them. Such as:
Dog Walking: 5:30 - 6:30 AM & 5:30 - 7:00 PM
Leaf Racking: Weekends only
Garage Cleaning: Weekends only
Lawn Mowing: After school until 5 PM Summers by appointment
Follow this type of layout. Make sure to include your name and phone number. Then print them off on you computer printer and walk the neighborhood putting them neatly in screen doors.
My 30 year old daughter has a 3 year old son that is the love of my life. She recently moved out of the house she was living in with the father of my grandson, they were not married. It was a bad situation and I do not blame her for leaving. She moved her things in to the home I share with my husband and son. I already had the house set up with things for my grandson as I watched him two or three nights a week. I'm afraid that if I make her mad she will move out and into a place with one of her friends and take my grandson. Her friends are not exactly the best examples, nor are they felons. What can I do to see to it that she gets a job without disrupting everyones lives in the process. (she is one of those that thinks the world of herself)
There are a lot of unanswered questions here that make it hard to offer advice. A recent survey showed that may young people your daughters age, about 47% of those surveyed did not feel marriage was necessary in order to have a traditional family. So I am not that surprised that your daughter and the father of your grandson are not married.
The quick answer to your question is not to harp on the subject. Yes you daughter is 30 years old, the mother of a small child and should be more responsible. Times are different today, very much so than when you and I were her age. Jobs are not as available. Many of the jobs that might be available could be seen as demeaning by her based on her education and abilities. Even so she has a child to care for and that is a responsibility that requires one to reach beneath themselves when required.
Given that we are close to the end of the year and many employers do not hire, with the exception of seasonal employers, I would allow this time to pass with you and her getting closer together. Find out why, without badgering she and her boyfriend broke up? Help her build up self-esteem if required. Do not let her sleep the day away. Yes the child is your grandson, he is also first and foremost her son and she needs to be the primary care giver. The only time you should become your grandsons' primary care giver is if your daughter is working or has gone back to school.
As for working, be supportive, don't badger. It is going to be hard finding a job. The saying any job is better than no job at all is not always right. A job that one hates can come back on the entire household. Be supportive and be firm in that you are the grandparent and not the parent. The child is not your parenting responsibility.
One last thing; make sure she sees a lawyer and has the proper documents served on the boys father so that it is seen to that his fatherly financial, medical and educational responsibilities to his son are seen to.
how can i find out whos texting me from an itouch text free number?
theres this person texting me and doesnt tell me who he is only that he is a senior and 19 yrs old and im 15 yrs old and a sophomore he says he sees me at skool everyday
but i just want to know how to find out who he is
The first thing you need to do is inform your parents and have them inform the school authorities and the Police. Then follow the directions given you by the Police.
Electronic Data does leave a trail but it takes the Police and their electronic surveillance unit to track this communication.
You are 15 and the boy/man is 19 which is a four year difference in age. This makes his stalking of you a criminal offense of the felony type in most states. Stalkers are not just annoying they are dangerous, this is why stalking has been made a criminal offence. You need to report this to the proper authorities and your parents for your own safety.
Am I trying to scare you? To a certain extent yes. This boy/man may be satisfied with just texting you; but what if he is not. What if he really wants to be with you. Your ignoring him could make him approach you and try to force you to go somewhere with him. This is when you are in danger. Nothing says this will happen; but it can and does happen several times a day across the country. So play it safe report him.
OK so i don't no if all vagina's look like this, but i fell like mines really ugly. like my outer lips of my vagina are like darker then everything else, there also like wrinkly. is this what all vagina's look like or do i just have an ugly vag?
HBO ran a documentary some time ago on sex. It was geared to the older generation. In that documentary the presenter in one part claimed that women's vagina's were of basically four types. You have one of the four types described, which also happens to be the type my wife has.
I'm not going to get into my sex life with my wife other than to say I love making love to my wife. I thoroughly enjoy both oral sex and intercourse with her. Prior to marring my wife I encountered three of the four types of vagina's described in the documentary. The two I liked the most were my wife's and the vagina with the long labias.
From a man's perspective I would say there is no such thing as an ugly vagina. I have never heard any of my friends say anything about any date or girlfriend having a beautiful or ugly vagina. When they do talk about sex with a girlfriend it is generally whether they had a good time with her and when we where in high school if they were able to go all the way.
My advice, don't fret about how your vagina looks. Fact is most boys or men rarely look at a girls vagina with that type of discerning eye.
Accept what you have and unless something about how your vagina is constructed causes you physical pain during intercourse, do nothing about it. Just relax and enjoy the pleasure you can receive during sex.
Hi welL I'm not realy sure what I should do. I'm sTill a virgin and so is my boyfriend we been dating for a year alreay he is also a virgin. Should we have sex already? Should we loose it already I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 15. Are relationship is realy close and serious but I don't want to mes it up by having sex.. Please help or give me tips on what to do :) thanks
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. You are more emotionally mature than a partner would at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. At your present ages you can have all the intimacy of sex using these alternatives without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
My advice is to wait a few more years, let you and your bodies mature a bit more so that you can fully enjoy a sexual relationship. Don’t let pear pressure force you to do something you may not be fully ready for.
Before you make your decision please review the following website. I found this website while looking for answers to similar questions.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
Okay this may be kinda long im sorry just bear with me please. so here is the story... my parents have been together for 15 years. It will be 16 this march. I guess my mom was talking to an ex boyfriend on facebook, then they started e-mailing and i guess they met for lunch a couple of times. This ex of hers is also married and has a wife and children. Well my dad told my mom he had a bad feeling and he knew that she had been talking to him. Yet he said word for word what was in their e-mails. I know that he went through my moms email there is no way he could have known word for word what was in the e-mail. Which i dont think is right at all but it wasnt right for my mom to be talking to this guy either. she told me that my dad had found out that she was talking to this ex a while ago and asked her to stop. Yet she continued behind his back. My mom is 36 and my dad 40. Im 17 years old and i have a younger sister who is 10 and a younger brother who is 6. I guess i just dont understand why my mom would do something like this. She is always the one who says "if your happily married you shouldnt need or want anyone else and when you do it is time to end the relationship." But i know for a fact that she is madly in love with my dad. Apparently this ex meant something to her or she wouldnt have done this. but she came crying to me yesterday saying that my dad wants a divorce. me and my mom have a very close relationship and she apologised for not telling me about this sooner. my dad wont even talk to her. I dont know what to do or say. He handed her two grand in cash yesterday and told her that it would get her on her feet and she needed to leave and she told him she wasnt going to leave us. I guess all im asking is what do i do here. Me and my mom have always been closer than me and my dad but i feel sorry for my dad, yet i feel sorry for my mom. im stuck in the middle here and im confused! i just need to know how to act and what to say. If my mom leaves im going with her but i dont want my dad to be mad at me for leaving him. See my dilema? any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance!
I'm old enough to be your grandfather so I will try my best to tell it to you straight and to offer some advice.
It pains me to read these kind of letters as the children are always the ones to suffer the most. Yes, I understand you are 17 but you are also their child so the word children applies.
First off just talking with an ex is not cheating. Having sex with someone other than your spouse is cheating. Even if mom was flirting and saying things like how nice it would be to sleep with him, until she actually did it, its not cheating its flirting. At least that is how I understand your letter to us.
As to your question: Unfortunately children are always in the middle when it comes to a divorce. By choosing one parent over the other is going to leave one of them getting hurt. You could say something like "Dad you know I love both of you very much; right now mom needs me so I am physically going to live with her but I would like to spend as much time as we can together."
If you are close to your parents, once the initial shock of things wears off, you could suggest that for your and your brother and sister that they at the very least should try marriage counseling.
When I was 9 my parents got divorced since then my biological dad(my mom has gotten remarried) has wanted nothing to do with me and neither did his parents. They would blame me and my mom's family for the mistakes they'd made and would try to tell me lies so since they've wanted nothing to do with me I haven't talked to them in almost 10 years. When I was about 14 or 15 I found out that my biological dad was adopted I tried for years to find out who they were all while trying not to have to contact him. Recently I found out that he knew exactly who he's real family was so I found out where he lived and sent him a letter hoping that he would find some kind of kindness in him to do it. He wrote saying I had to meet him and then he would give it to me and gave me his phone number 1) I didn't feel the least bit comfortable meeting him especially when the letter said I had to come alone and 2)Again in the letter he has decided to attack and blame and lie about me and my family and it was as low as he could have went and that made me angry and I almost didn't call him. But I've wanted this for years so I blocked my number sucked it up and called him I explained that I couldn't meet him and that I needed this information ASAP so over the phone he gave me what I've been searching for. He gave me the name and number of one of his real brothers(along with some family medical history and my real grandma's name!!). He said that this man was very nice and all I have to do is explain who I am. I know that this family has family of their own and I really would like to have a relationship with them but I don't want to be the person who pushes their way into the family I would like to be part of it if they let me. In additional I don't even know if my biological dad has even told them about me. What do I say when I call? I know the topic will come up one day what do I say about how his real brother has treated me I don't want them to dislike me and who knows what he's said to these people. Also my real dad wants to get to know me again but he put me through so much as a kid I don't want to repeat it so I'm not going to contact him again. Is it wrong that I don't want a relationship with my real dad but I want one with his real family? What questions should I ask his real brother? I never thought my real dad would do this I'm confused having this brand new family thrown at me never meeting them but knowing they are biological I know I asked for this but it is a little more stressful than I thought it would be.
I understand how you feel and understand your need to meet your fathers biological family.
I would suggest that instead of calling them you use their phone number to find their address. You do this through the use of a reverse directory, which can be found on the web by typing "reverse directory" into a search engine.
Telephones are very intrusive. You will be catching the person on the other very much off guard by calling. Instead of calling I am going to suggest that once you have their address you write to them. You start your letter by saying "I am the daughter of ______, while at this time we are estranged I recently found out that my father was adopted and that you are his biological _______." You can take it for there telling whatever you want them to know about you and your relationship with your dad should you want to include it. Include all your contact information such as return address, phone number and Email address.
By writing to then you are not dropping a bomb shell in someones lap as a phone call would do. A letter gives them time to absorb the information you provided. If you have not heard from them after a week you can do one of two things. You can take this to mean they do not want to have any contact with you; or you can now call them to ask if they received your letter.
Should decide to make the follow up call when they answer, introduce yourself and say you are calling to see if they had received your letter. If they say yes and then there is that pregnant pause where no further conversation from them ensues, just say "well I was just checking to make sure I mailed it correctly and I apologize if I disturbed you,I'll be hanging up now". Then hang up the phone.
The pregnant pause in the call tells you they were not yet prepared to talk to you. You confirmed that your letter arrived so now all you can do is wait for them to contact you.
good luck
i'm 13 i started to notice a feeling between my legs. it feels good to rub there is that okay?
You are experiencing puberty. What you are feeling is your first feelings of sexual arousal or hornyness as some might say. Rubbing there is called masturbation and is okay to do and should be done some place where you won't be disturbed and in total privacy.
You may or may not have had your first period, that does not mean you have not started down the road of puberty. If you and your mother have not had the "girl, Girl talk" it is time to tell mom that you think you are starting to go through puberty.
The Internet is a very good resource to get straight answers to questions you may have as to what is happening and what you may be feeling. I could supply a link to female masturbation but in this instance I would it is better if you use a search engine to search for "female masturbation". Another question to search for is "am I ready for sex". I have the link to this one as well as this is a question we get asked quite a bit. Search for these questions and any other questions you might have. You will get straight answers, answers you can discuss with your mother should you want too; hopefully you will.
Remember mom & dad were once 13 and have gone through just what you are going through and will go through. They can make things a lot easier for you if you can have frank discussions with them.
i have been have sex with my dad for a very very long time now and he has stoped useing condoms what the hell do i do ? is he trying to knock me up or what?
Please call an Organization called RAINN; Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Incest is when members of one family, such as father daughter, mother son, sister brother or first cousins have a sexual relationship. When Parent and under age child have a sexual relationship it is also considered abuse. You say this has been going on for quite some time and you may not be aware that this is not only very worn, it is also illegal in every state in the U.S. and in most all Westernized Countries.
There are three things you can do to stop this abuse NOW especially if you live in the U.S.. You can call RAINN as I suggest. You can call the Police and report this incestuous abuse or you can walk out the door and go to the nearest Fire Station. Fire Stations are safe havens for victims of abuse. Just tell the firefighters on duty you need help and they will take it from there.
If you are still in school there is one other thing you can do. Tell a teacher, your principal or guidance counselor about this abuse. They know what to do and will protect you and do what needs to be done to keep you safe.
Most importantly the sexual relationship between you and your father must stop. It is not good for you and as I said it is illegal. The illegal part is the parent having sex with their minor or adult child.
I went to a doctor's appointment for a lump on my neck. I hadn't told my husband about it because I didn't want him to worry for no cause. They did some testing, biopsies and all, and it's come back that the lump is cancerous. With a little further testing and looking, I have more than one of these masses in my body. My doctor wants me to begin chemotherapy. I haven't told my husband still. Things don't look good. How do I tell my husband that I have been diagnosed with cancer and need to undergo chemo?
If your fear of "things don't look that good" is keeping you from telling your husband; then I suggest you ask your husband to accompany you to your doctor and have the doctor tell him. You can also, if you are a member of a church or Temple, confide in your clergymen and as your clergymen to help you tell your husband. (please read on)
Having just gone through Breast Cancer treatment with my wife I know how you must be feeling. My wife found what she thought was a lump while showering. When our doctor confirmed it was a lump and scheduled the first in a line of test and procedures; my wife informed me that of the lump. We went through the procedures together every step of the way. Thankfully the cancer was caught early and my wife is now cancer free.
Yes it was the most scary thing either of us have ever gone through but going through it together made us stronger both as individuals and a couple. We were also very lucky with the doctors we chose who helped us every step of the way.
You say things don't look that good. Please don't go into cancer treatment with a fatalistic attitude. With Cancer treatment is less than half the battle, the rest is attitude. Somewhat like the children's story the little train that could. I know I can beat this is what you have to keep telling yourself.
I know chemo therapy works. a woman in my wife's office had inoperable cancerous tumors. They started her on a course of chemo therapy and radiation; this was less than 6 months ago. Today they cannot even find the tumors and she is considered cancer free. She will be followed very closely, most likely for the rest of her life. A small price to pay to be cancer free.
Tell your husband or ask your doctor or clergyman to help you tell him. Keep a positive outlook and don't give in to fatalistic outlooks, yours or other peoples and follow the doctors orders.
Good luck.
do u think a guy with a 3 in dick could get a hot girlfriend
Hot women are usually very vain as well. If you walk up to her and say " Hi I have a 3 in. dick do you want to go out with me?" She will probably laugh in your face, for two reasons. First; that's a terrible but original opening line. Second if she discounts the first as be a funny way to meet her she might ask if that's true and when you say yes, if she is a vain person she will say no as well.
The size of your penis really doesn't matter. The average vagina is only 6 inch in depth. So a penis over six inches is not going to go all the way in anyway. You can still have sex, you can still procreate , which is still the main purpose of intercourse and if you are a considerate lover your partner can still enjoy the act. Remember beauty is only skin deep. If you get to know someone first and become true friend any minor flaws either have are not a problem.
There was a song some time ago that had a line; "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life don't make a pretty women your wife".I believe what the song was saying is vanity can ruin your life so get to know your partner before you make any commitments with them. The first sexual intimacy is a commitment so get to know her first and then tell her your a little smaller than what she might be use too.
I don't think I can stand going to school tomorrow because our school does a HUGE thing for grandparents day and my grandparents all just resently died. It's very sensitive to me. Is there a way I cancer sick overnight?? Or within lie 3 hours!?? So I don't have to stand it.
I had a similar problem with my niece when my sister and her husband divorced and her husband left the country. My nieces school had a "Donuts' with Dad's Day" which upset my niece very much like you are upset. My sister spoke with school officials and they allowed me to step in and be her substitute dad for the day so she could participate.
Ask your mom or dad to talk with your teacher or school principal to see if another relative could substitute as a grandparent so you too can participate.
The school is promoting family values and the place grandparents have in a child's upbringing. They are not out to cause you hurt over the recent loss of your grandparents. I'm sure once they are made aware of your hurt they will find away for you to participate if that is what you want to do.
I've been dating this girl on and off for 4 years now. She's amazing, terrific, perfect, and any other word you can find to describe an angel. Today she told me that she things are completely over for her, and that she just doesn't feel the same for me as she did. This is a big shock because she acted like everything was fine and she was happy. I feel like killing myself now. I have been searching for some quick ways to commit suicide without pain but nothing seems right. What do I do? I'm so confused and hurt. My chest feels like she ripped my heart out.
Let me first say I'm old enough to be you grandfather and I'm going to speak to you like a grandfather telling you like it is.
Losing a girlfriend hurts I know; to kill yourself over it no. Who are you going to hurt, her? Not really, only yourself and that people do love you and care for you. The hurt will go away and you will find someone else; this is a fact that is a fact of life for almost all of us with a first love. As the saying goes there are plenty more fish in the sea. What you need to do is go fishing again. Fact is according to the census there are more women then men so the fishing should be quite good.
If you are still feeling suicidal get yourself to the nearest Hospital Emergency Room or call 911. Otherwise my recommendation is to do something nice for yourself, something you really like to do then get back into the dating scene. There is someone out there for you; you just need to find her.
This is kinda embarassing to ask, but i'd rather ask people I don't know then someone I do.
I'm 16 and my boyfriend and I have talked about having sex. He's not a virgin, but I am. I'm scared that my vagina doesn't look normal. I really don't want to hear "if he loves you he won't care" stuff. Like, in all honesty I'm scared to even take my pants off around other people. Attempting to explain what I mean..My lips don't touch because I guess the part called the labia(?) is large and sticks out of my lips. That's really the only thing that bothers me, besides my skin being very sensitive so I have really bad razor burn. Any tips or ideas to help me out? Thanks!
I'm quite a bit older than you and maybe my thoughts might not be what you looking for; though I will offer them anyway as I was once your age.
Just what is normal? If you ask a guy he will tell you a guy with a big long, thick penis is normal. If you look at medical evidence the average vagina can only accommodate about 6", so is that what the normal length of a penis should be.
The nice thing about the human body is we are all different. So you have a longer labia; big deal. All that means is there is that much more to suck and nibble on during oral sex. Unless the longer labia causes you pain or other problems during sex I wouldn't worry about it. IF some boy should say something about it in a derogatory way he is not only a fool but sexually inexperienced.
Enjoy what you have; you have been blessed with a very special sex organ. As I said if you are not having any pain or other problem during sex caused by your labia just relax and let your guy enjoy you.
I'm graduating high school in june 2011. I can't choose between majoring in nursing or fashion merchandising. I know thats a big difference but I see good things in both. I love fashion and am really interested in the business on the other hand I feel like I should help people in life and being a nurse would do that. The only problem with nursing is I don't know if I could deal with wounds and stuff like that but I also no it's a good career with many job opportunities for sure. I just don't know! What do you guys think? or offer any info on nursing and fashion if you have any too :)
thank you!
I can't help you make a decision as to which career to chose but I do have a suggestion as to how to find out if you can handle some of the things a nurse would have to handle.
If your community has a volunteer ambulance service or volunteer rescue squad look into whether you can join them or if you can do what is called a ride along with them. I am a member of a volunteer rescue squad and I can tell you the things we see no nurse ever sees.
We see the patients at the point of the injury when they are stuck in their cars, crushed under things, burned by burning buildings. By the time the patient gets to the hospital we have dressed the wounds and cleaned them up a bit. Yes the wounds are still ugly but you don't have the background that we work under to add to the ugliness of the wounds. Some of the patients we treat never make it to the ER; they end up at the morgue which is the real tragedy of what we see.
If you can handle what we see you will make a great nurse. Also being a member of a rescue squad will look real good on your application for nursing school. In the last ten years my rescue squad has had 4 members go on to medical school and untold numbers go on to nursing and paramedic schools.
how do i get rid of depression when it starts at home? how do i get rid of feeling empty? am i just over reacting on things? or am i just taking life seriously?
Depression can be very serious. There are different types of depression some of which needs to be treated by a doctor.
As someone who has the type of depression that needs medication and constant treatment by a doctor and psychologist I can tell you that I've learned it is okay to have off days or days where we feel depressed. If these days of feeling depressed continue unabated then you should be screened for depression.
Ones environment does enter into our emotional well being. You say your depression starts at home. This is called a trigger. You don't say what at home is causing you to be depressed or how old you are.
Should you be a teenager still living at home and you are being either physically or mentally abused this would cause you to be depressed. If you are a young teenager just starting puberty the hormonal changes in your body could be effecting your emotional well being. If there has been a recent death of a close relative this too would effect your emotional well being. These are just a few of the things that come to mind that could come from the home to cause you to be depressed. One other is social acclamation at school such as bullying not supported at home but this is a stretch to label a home cause.
If you feel you are being abuse you need to tell someone. A trusted adult such as a teacher, principal, guidance counselor, or other trusted adult. For the others you need to start with your family doctor. Have the doctor give you a complete physical; if the problem is the hormonal changes you are going through there are medications that can help you. Also ask the doctor to screen you for depression. The doctor will ask why, when your asked tell the doctor why you feel depressed; be open and frank with the doctor. Remember everything you tell the doctor stays between you and the doctor.
Without any other information this is the best advice I can give you. You have already taken the first step which is to ask for help. I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I've given you the best advice I have. The rest is up to you.
i am from philippines. i saw my mom with some other guys aside from dad... i did not tell to anyone yet. and this fact keep fucking my brains, mom left us to work somewhere far, left me, my brothers and dad in our hometown. As i am to study in college i am sent to the city where mom works. just so i know she bring home boys at home, chat with them online, meet them. there are three boys as far as i know. i just can't dealt with it. it hurts so much...
I'm sure what you see is causing you to be hurt.I'm just as sure that it is not your place to do something about it without getting all the facts. You say she is bringing boys home, you did not say she is having sex with them. There is nothing wrong with online chatting. Unless you have absolute proof your mother is having sex with these boys your options as to what you should do are limited.
The first thing and only thing you can do is to talk with your mother. Tell her you have seen these three boys going into her home. Ask her whats going on. Tell her that you are assuming the worst that she is cheating on you father with these boys.
IF she gives you a reasonable answer as to why these boys come to her home accept it and move on.If she is evasive or tells you it's none of your business then you have a choice to make.
Here again your choices are limited; you can do nothing and continue to hurt. You can tell your mother this has to stop or you will have to inform your father. This choice will hurt as well as know you are left with no option but to monitor your mothers actions and if required inform your father. Your last choice is going to hurt the most which is to simply state to your mother that you feel you have to inform your father.
I wish I had a solution that would correct this situation without causing more hurt. Having lived in the PI for sometime I am well aware of the Christian values families have and the hurt this is causing you. If someone from anyplace else had written this letter my answer would be different. I would probably tell them that this is the mothers business and what his father doesn't know won't hurt him.
Im 17 and my ex boyfriend is 22 a couple of weeks ago i broke up with him and things got out of control and he ended up rapping me. Anyways i don't want to report it because i don't want to make a big fuss about it. Well i might be pregnant and eventhough i don't want to get an abortion i know im not going to have any help with the baby. I really don't want to give up the baby either.... What should i do
Maybe you don't want to make a big deal out of him raping you but what about the next women he rapes. He raped you and he will rape again if this is how he handles domestic problems. Point of fact rape is rape even if you were married to him. It is your body and when you say no it means STOP. He has no right to sexually assault you or anyone else regardless of the relationship he may have had with you or anyone else.
You may be thinking; well its no big deal its not like he was a total stranger, we've had plenty of sex in the past. Doesn't matter and trust me on this; this rape will come back to haunt you later in life whether you are pregnant or not. If you are pregnant and keep the baby the baby will be a constant reminder of the rape.
I would like you to call an organization called RAINN; This stands for, Rape, Incest, Abuse National Network. There number is 1-800-656-hope. The call takers are trained to answer your questions and to help you find trained counselors who will help you find people in your town to council you and help you through this.
Just as important as talking to these people from RAINN is, is reporting the Rape to the Police and letting them handle it. If you don't want to do it for yourself then do it for the next women he rapes as she may not be as lucky as you and be hurt her or worse even killed if he loses total control of himself. So report him as to prevent him from raping again.