about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

How do i know if my cherry has popped or not?

Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully the wisdom of age and life experience will be helpful to you.

Lets look at you question in a different way, in a manner in which bewise answered your question. There is a difference between loosing your virginity and breaking your hymen, popping your cherry.

As Kirwood94 said, you can break your hymen inserting a tampon. Also today's active teenage girl(s) can break their hymens playing sports,horseback riding or during masturbation.

Loosing ones virginity is generally meant to be the first time a boys penis penetrates a girls vagina. Different cultures have different meanings for the loss of virginity. It is also true at one time the girls hymen had to be intact in order to be a virgin.

As times have changed and women have become more active, the definition of virginity has had to change. Even the definition of popping your cherry has different meanings. To find out if you have broken your hymen you need to as Kirwood94 said, to be examined by a doctor.

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Hi,

I want to read a book on Ayurveda but it is not available. I have tried to search on a lot of websites but neither the print nor an ebook edition is available. But the book is there on a lot of websites for free download. Would it be unethical to download when a book is not available by any other means ?

I looked on line and found that Amazon.com had 2 new and 8 used copies of the book available at the time I am writing to you. New the book was $72. and used was around $30.

So my answer is that since the book is available for purchase you would be violating copyright to download it.To violate the authors copyright is not only unethical it is also unlawful.

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First of all I want to thank you for giving your input on this issue I have with my mom. I know alot friends and the staff all say they dont think that iam mentally retarded in fact they have all said that iam very intelligent for my age they have also said that i might have a very high iq how do i go about gettin retested?

Hi again.

You have put me in a position I am not all that qualified to advice you in. I did do some research and found an organization called; "The Arc. I have some, not much, first hand knowledge of the organization as a friend of my sisters, a savant, receives some help from them after being brain damaged in an auto accident. The following is the opening found on their home page.

"We are the largest national community-based organization advocating for and serving people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families. We encompass all ages and all spectrums from autism, Down syndrome, Fragile X and various other developmental disabilities".

I feel this opening statement may fit you.

"The Arc believes that all people with intellectual and developmental disabilities have strengths, abilities and inherent value; are equal before the law; and must be treated with dignity and respect. The Arc represents, supports and acts on behalf of individuals and their families regardless of level of disability or membership in The Arc. The Arc believes in self-determination by empowering people with the supports needed to make informed decisions and choices."

What this means is they believe and help those that are able to live and work on their own should should be able to. They help in finding them real jobs and places to live, usually some type of group living.

The following URL will take you to a page on their web site that will help you locate a chapter in your state that you can contact for help. http://www.thearc.org/page.aspx?pid=2437

I'm not sure if they can test or even if you need to be tested. They may have their own way to evaluate you based on how they serve their clients.

What I believe is that this organization may be the best way for you to find away to live on your own, if that is your goal.

Good luck and if you have the time let me know how things turn out with them.

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Iam a 22 year old female and my mom is always putting me down and bringing up things in the past that have happened to me beyond my control and nothing was my fault such as my father molesting me when I was 3 when we get into fights she will say things like you had an asshole for a dad. I mean I know what my dad did was wrong but I don't think my mom has the right to throw that in my face especially since I was just a toddler when it happened and how could I stop him I mean he was 45 and I was 3 would have been 4 a week later. She also throws it in my face that I have a mind of an 11 year old which is said that I mentally retarded and she also has papers on me which declared me to be mentally encomptent so please don't suggest moving out becouse by law I can't unless have someone esle that will let me move in and of course I don't my mom is the only person I have left to take care of me unles I go to my sisters house in texas and I can't even do that becouse I have to have my mom's permission and I know that it would be out of the question. I have another problem if i would move to texas to live with my sister I wouldn't have anyone to be over my social security check becouse she has one to and I don't think she can be over my check if she has on. please tell me what to do any advice is greatly appreciated . one more thing she is always telling me that iam fat,stupid,and ugly and I just can't seem to get her to stop and i've tried talking to her about it and it dosn't help and againg any advice is greatly apreciated.

Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom and life experience that comes with age will be helpful to you.

First, I find it hard to believe you have the mind of an eleven year old. You wrote beautifully for someone that has a mind that young. I read questions from older people who have not written this well.

The only advice I can think to give you is this; If you have a social worker assigned to you, you need to talk with that social worker and tell then what is going on. The fact that you have been declared mentally incompetent makes me think that the courts have assigned someone to watch over you other than just your mother.

If the courts have not assigned someone to watch over you and to watch out for you financial rights and responsibilities you have two choices.

The money you receive is from the Federal Government Social Security Department and is your money for you maintenance and well being. If mom is not spending it on you she is in violation of her legal responsibilities. You can go to your local Social Security Office or you can call them on the phone; tell them what is happening with your money and ask for help.

If no one from the County Social Service Office is assigned to you, to watch out for you. Then you can go to them or call them and ask for help as well.

If you speak as well as you write I see no reason for people not to believe you and at the very least come and check out what you tell them.

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Yesterday a nude of this girl in my school went around and I got it sent to my phone. I told two of my friends about it and they both asked me to send it to them, both of which deleted it right after. Now apparently this girl was seen with her mom and the cops in school today. And now I'm terrified.

Could I get in any sort of trouble? I'm 99% sure I know who got the picture in the first place and sent it around. I'm 16 and this nude or the girl is 16. Is there anyway I could get out of trouble if I get questioned or something?

I'm not a lawyer but I have friends that are. The problem you have written about has happened too many times in the past and had on occasion made the nightly news.

The short answer to your question is; yes you could be in trouble for forwarding the photo, especially if your friends did not delete it as they say they did but in turn forward the photo onward. You were in possession of child porn and you did send it forward.

I'm sure your aware that all emails leave a footprint. If the police find the person who started to send the picture around they can follow the emails to everyone who received it and their phones or computers will have a history of what you did with it. You can never entirely remove this footprint. Even if you do delete it, destroy your sell phone; their is still your service provider who can supply the information should the police want to dig that far.

That is worst case scenario. Most likely the girl, her mother and the cops only want to get to the person who started sending the picture around. The girl herself is also culpable as she had to at sometime posed for the picture for someone and either gave it to the sender herself or he somehow took it without her permission.

You need to tell your parent what happened, before the cops come knocking on your door. Your parent need the time to decide what and how to handle things should the cops come knocking. If you are questioned by the police, depending the age of consent in your state, your parent may not be allowed to be with you or advice you while questioning you. It would be a good thing to have a lawyer ready to be with you during any questioning.

Yes it can be that serious, so you need to be prepared. Do not delay tell your parents now.

Also remember you have the right to remain silent, so keep your mouth shut to everyone but your parents and your lawyer.

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ok so in home and careers aka homo and queers to the guys who misbehave in my class , there is always a bunch of kids ( guys) who tell the teachers to shut up and they tell the teacher that the room smells like sweaty balls and when they get detention slips, when the teacher goes to hand the slip to them, they refuse to take it, and they scream all class long and the portion of the class that actually wants to learn, cant because they cant concetrate with all the screaming and profanities from the guys. these guys refuse to take any notes and they always get lolipops (i dont know why) but my teacher just cant handle them all and some kids cant learn because of the boys constant distractions. do you think its ok that these guys can get away without doing any work while the rest of us kids have to work our butts off and that they can just sit ther and scream like mental patients while we r trying 2 actually learn something? also, why do you think kids are like this nowadays, but back in the day, they were good listeners and respectful? please share all views and opinions! thanks.

Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and I hope that the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.

It is not alright for these boys, and there are girls as well who act up in class, to disrupt you class to the point the teacher cannot teach. Unfortunately this is nothing new, we had the sane kids, probably their grandparents in my classes as well.

You are entitled to your education. If you teacher can't handle these students then I suggest you ask your parents to request a conference with the school principal. There goal should be to have these boys removed from class, not to have the teacher trained to better control the classroom.

Where I live there is a special school for students like them. It is hard to get a principal to refer a student to that school as it cost twice as much for the school system to have them in that school then a regular school. If they fail to comply and to apply themselves at this school they are expelled from the school system.

It is a fight that needs to be fought as it is your education that is at stake. If your parents don't get the cooperation they want from the principal the next step is a meeting with the superintendent of schools. Their are some intermediary steps between the principal and the superintendent. I would suggest skipping those steps as they are a waist of time.

How do I know this. I went through this with my son for some classes he needed but they wouldn't provide. That is until I said lawyer and injunctions. Then they suddenly were able to find the money to get him over to the community college were he could attend the classes.

So if I could do this for him, you parents can certainly get disruptive students out of your classes.

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im 12 years old and im pretty sure my mom hates me. i get in trouble for the stupidist things and she always gets in my face smacks me and once gave me a bloody nose.. my younger sis and older brother get watever they want can do anything and never get in trouble. wenever i talk to her bout it i get yelled at and smacked. if i talk to anyone else shell find out some how. im tired of crying my self to sleep at night and trying to run away and wanting to die sometimes i dont know wut to do

Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Hopefully someone being my age will be meaningful to you in the advise given.

I do agree with the advice solidadvice4teens gave you. You need to understand one thing though. If mom is constantly hitting you in the face, read no further and do as solidadvice4teens has told you to do.

It is one thing to discipline a child, it is another thing to abuse a child. A couple of smacks on the butt or a reasonable spanking is discipline. Hitting, punching to the face and other parts of your body is child abuse.

There are protections in place for children who suffer at the hands of a child abuser. This is very serious so think before you make this accusation. You said mom once smacked you in the face. Has she done it again? When she smacks you, where does she smack you? How does she smack you? Does she use only her hand or does she use whatever is at hand like a wooden spoon, belt or hairbrush.

The last 4 questions are very important to answer truthfully. There is a very fine line in the definition between abuse and discipline. If your being abused, you have every right to protect yourself and seek the protections in place to protect you. If mom is disciplining you, even if you feel she is wrong to do so she has a right to do so. It is every parents right and responsibility to discipline their children as they see fit.

The reason I am asking you to be cautious in what action you take, is not because I don't believe you. I do believe that you believe this is what is happening to you. But because once you set in motion the protective services for abused children they can't be stopped. The help ranges from helping mom to be a better mother to some very serious stuff. Things I won't list here as I do not want to pregidous you decision.

I hope I have helped you some.


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Hey! I just have a question on your guys's opinion. And also some advice. I'm sixteen, and a girl. I am 5'4 and 105 pounds. I wear size 7 shoes. In your opinion would you say that's very small...? It seems like people (guys in particular) always make a big deal about how "little" I am. And personally, I don't think I'm that small, I'd say average right? I mean I am thin and I'm not what you'd call strong per say but yeah... It does bother me a little, the hype some people make about it. Like my guy friends were giving me shit saying I shouldn't play powderpuff this weekend (its like, one day where girls from schools in the area get a team together in their school and play other schools in flag football) because I wouldn't be any help and just get myself hurt. It's not even tackle football! Or even just guys at shcool will constantly voice how small they think I am and how that means they can do whatever they want to me. Or my boyfriend has also said on occasion how he doesn't think I'd ever be able to defend myself if I needed to. And its combined with all the times people make me feel like I'm helpless and can't do stuff cause they think I'm little. It's comments and jokes that most people don't think would bother someone but that just build and make me mad... and I'm not sure what to do about it... I can't change my body and I'm not saying I want to because I'm okay with the way I look but it seems like no one else is... And it's really starting to take a toll on me.

Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I'm hoping the wisdom that comes with age and some life experiences will be helpful to you.

When I was your age a girl who was 5'4" and 105 pounds was the ideal girl to look for, I would suggest you not change a thing of that which you can change. Since you are still in your puberty years, puberty can last in to your early twenties, you could still experience a small growth spurt. The only way to know if you have stopped growing is with an x ray of your growth plates to see if they have closed.

From my point of view, I do not think it is worth asking a doctor to have the x rays taken. If they are closed they can't be reopened. If there open you will experience the growth spurt when your body is ready. Your happy with your physical body as it is, that is all that matters.

As to what your friends are saying to you and about you: That makes me mad too since there is nothing you can do about it. They are doing it for two reasons, actually three. One, because they are jealous of how you look and they will never look like you (the girls that is). Two, because they know they can get under your skin and upset you and three, because kids can be very mean to each other especially when they can't have something you have. In this case the girls can't have your body and the boys can't have you.

To them and this I say; to heck with them. The only person you need to be better than is you. Sounds strange, I will explain.

When I was working I was a Sales person. In sales we would always try to spark some type of competition to promote and motivate the sales force. As a general rule this worked very well.

It was either the competition or the promotional, rewards, that motivated most of the sales force. I didn't need promotions or competitions to do my job. The only person I needed to be better than was the person I was yesterday. If I could do better tomorrow than I did today then I was a winner.

I did so by seeking to learn something new about myself, my business or my customers and their businesses. It must have worked because I lead my region in sales each year and recognized as salesman of the year several times.

In short, worry less about what others think about you and more about what you think about you. You have already said you like who you are, so stay with that feeling.

Your high school friends are short term friends at best for most of them. In 2 years or so you will go off to college and make new friends, set new goals. At this time the only real goal all teenagers have is to complete high school, and for most, get into the college of choice. Once in college the saying you can never go home again will have perfect meaning for as I said most all of your high school friends go off in different directions and have their own goals in life. They go for the most part from friends to acquaintances.

I would suggest one thing, more for you own best interest and not because of you size and weight. I would recommend this and even push my own daughter to do this had I had a daughter.

Given the world we live-in today I would suggest you take some type of self-defence course. A martial arts course is probably the best to take as it will not only teach you how to defend yourself. It will also teach you the discipline you will while away at college and later in life. It is also a good way to stay in shape.

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Who gets quicker stiff the cock or the clit?

You have asked a very interesting question.

In general I would say the male penis will become erect before the female clit. My reasoning is the male is more visual than the female. The female needs more physical arousal, foreplay. With the proper amount of foreplay her nipples will harden and her clit will become erect. Eventually her vagina will lubricate, get wet, allowing penetration.

As I said that is the general rule. There are some women who are visually stimulated just as the male is but they are exception to the rule.

I hope this answers your questions.

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I am 13 and I think I have started my period, I had it for a couple of days and then it stopped, it has been a month and I havnt had it again, have I started or not???

Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I thought a little grandfatherly advice might be useful to you.

The answer given by bewise is absolutely correct.I'm writing to suggest to that while we are here to answer these type of questions for you. The best source of information for these questions is your mom, Aunt or Grandmother.

Going through puberty is a natural event, this is what is happening to you now, something everyone goes through. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, it is not a sexual question, it is a question as to something happening that is new in your body function(s).

You should not feel uncomfortable or embarrassed in going to mom or any of your other female relative you might feel comfortable talking with. You are becoming a young woman which is a beautiful part of life for a young girl. While it can be disturbing, even traumatic for some mom is there, on scene as we say in the fire service, to help you and put you at ease. She will also know if something isn't right and needs a doctors attention.

I'm not saying not to write us with questions that may embarrass you to ask of your mom or others in your family where here for for those questions. For questions such as this one or questions such as physical pain or ailments; the best persons to ask are mom, dad or your doctor.

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i need to gain weight, but in a healthy way, im vegetarian and i have a pretty high metabolism. oh yeah im 17/f and im very active and i cant gain weight, my body has gone away right before my eyes. my boobs are SO much smaller than they used to be and my arms are real small too. im usually good with this stuff but now i suck at it. lol help me:(

Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.

I am pleased to see that you want to gain weight the proper way. It is very important in any type of dieting, yes gaining weight can be considered dieting, that it be done properly and under supervision of your doctor.

Why do you need a doctors supervision, for the very fact that your wrote; "my body has gone away right before my eyes. my boobs are SO much smaller than they used to be and my arms are real small too." This may have more to do with a change in body sculpting do to hormones from puberty, yes you are still going through puberty, than metabolism. So you should first consult with your doctor.

At 17 you have medical confidentiality so anything that is said between you and your doctor stays between the two of you. Your doctor cannot discuss this with anyone including your parents without your written consent. This is contained in a law known as HIPPA and you have been covered by it since you were 13.

So first visit your doctor to find out why your body has changed and you have lost weight. If it is do to metabolism or hormones caused by puberty the doctor may be able to correct this with medication or hormonal treatment. The doctor will then tell you what your ideal weight for your height and skeletal frame should be.

Then with the doctor monitoring you; you should visit a nutritionist. Being a vegetarian it is important that you get the proper proteins into your diet that you loose by being a strict vegetarian. Working with the nutritionist you can work up menus and meal plans that have the proper caloric intake for your activity schedule and you weight goal.

Most health food or vitamin stores have a nutritionist or dietitian on staff who will be happy to work with you for little or no charge. Vitamin substitutes will probably be a big part of your plan. This is good; just make sure you purchase all natural vitamins. They cost a little more but they are better for you.

I hope I have been helpful.

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Ok - First ever question that I have ever posted, please anyone, your opinion/advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for just over a year. We had a good sex life to begin with then it dwindled to nothing. The last time I had sex with my husband was July 2010.
About 18 months into our relationship I discovered that he was into cross dressing, very upsetting and hard for me to take, automatically jumping to conclusions about his sexuality, especially coupled with the fact that he had become less and less interested in me sexually. After a lot of talking and research I concurred that he wasn't gay and that we could carry on as it was not a huge part of his life. It can be said that my husband is a bit of a recluse, doesn't engage in activities outside the home with me or with anyone else. Then all of a sudden he will. I have suspected for a long time that he has some bipolar type mental issue too. But I digress. Yesterday I took in a parcel and opened it (don't know why) and it contained butt plugs, an anal simulator thing and lubrication. When I challenged him he said he wasn't gay, wasn't that sexual a person thus explaining his lack of interest in me but was keen on jerking off hence this purchase. The website that he bought the items off is a gay website. I am in tears constantly as I don't know what to do. Can anyone out there help? I am not a prude, enjoy anything sexually and am very open minded. I am from England.

Hi, I am one of the older advisers on this site. Probably old enough to be your grandfather, definitely old enough to be your father. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.

Let me start by saying I agree with what ruthwithscissors wrote; especially about anal sex and the anal sex toys.

For someone my age I have a very liberal view of sex. To be very basic about it; I believe what happens in the privacy of a bedroom between two consenting adults is their business and no one else's. I do no consider anything they may do to be weird or anything else as long as both consent. The key word here is CONSENT.

Now that you understand my thought process when it comes to sex I can move on with my advice. You said that you "concurred" that his cross dressing did not mean he was gay. You suspect he may have a bipolar problem. Now anal toys have come into your home and you are confused and upset (paraphrasing) as your husband says there for his use in masturbating.

Taking things one at a time:

Cross Dressing: Concurring and approval or consenting do not have the same meaning. If you approved or consented to your husbands cross dressing you could involve yourself in his fantasy and help him dress up by helping him buy cloths and under garments. Help him with make up and even finding wigs. Your involvement in his fantasy if you were consenting and join him might lead to a better sex life with him.

Possible Bipolar disorder: This is the most serious of the things you have written about. It is also the one thing I can't help you with as I am not a doctor. The only advise I can offer is if you suspect that your husband suffers from this disorder he needs to be screened for it.

England has a National Health System. I'm not quite sure how it works but I believe in order to see a specialist, which this disorder requires, you need to first see your primary physician. If you can't get your husband to go then you should talk to the doctor for him.

Anal Toys: Here again anal sex is a widely accept form of sex and sex play for both men and women. While anal sex may not be your thing could you consent to anal sex with and to your husband to enhance your sex life with him. The anus has many nerve endings an many men find it exciting to have there anus fingered or even penetrated during sex.

There are men that like to have their female lover use a strap-on to have sex with them in both the doggy position and the missionary position. In both these positions it is possible for the male to masturbate or be masterbated while having anal sex with his female lover. While allowing a female to penetrate him anally. Most if not all of these men would never allow a male to penetrate him with their penis.

As far as what your husband is doing to himself sexually your acceptance and consenting of it plays a big part in how your sex life could improve. I would suggest if you can be accepting of it but have trouble consenting then marriage counseling with sex therapy would be helpful for both of you.

More important is the fact of your suspicion your husband suffers from Bipolar disorder. This is a serious problem that could lead to him hurting himself. You need to have him checked for this disorder.

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well im a 11 year old girl, 12 next month, i want to know if im a slut? i finger my self, flirt with lots of boys, and i love it when boys touch my butt or touch me up and i watch porn.
am i a slut?
i also talk to older men online and send them pics. and i REALLY want to have sex!

Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I hope you will take my advice as it comes from the heart and is in your best interest.

First: I'm sure you parents have told you not to speak to strangers. Talking to strangers online can be just as dangerous as talking to strangers on the street. There are a lot of sex offenders who lurk on online sites looking for children just like you. It matters no how well you think you are hiding your real age, they can spot you instantly. Never, ever send anyone other than family members pictures of yourself. Once you send someone a picture you can be in danger as you loose control of that picture and it can go viral on the Internet.

These men are not out to be your friends or have online relationships with you. They are out to harm you. Do you read the newspapers or watch the evening new. Where I live there is a girl who the police have been looking for since before last Christmas. They believe she is the victim of a sexual child molester. They have been searching for her body.

Second: As to your question: I don't like putting labels on people, never have and hopefully never will. What I believe is happening to you is you have entered puberty at a very early age, it happens. Because of this you're not handling the hormonal changes that are occurring within you.

Now understand I am writing to you as if you were older, not as a child. Going through puberty early happens, it is not something you can control. Going through puberty does not mean that you have to be getting your period, that can and will come later.

While getting your period is the biggest sign of a women going through puberty. Puberty can start with the hormonal changes and the changes in your body. The loss of your baby fat, the curving of your Dody, your breasts starting to bud, body hair thickening and the growing ow pubic and arm pit hair.

If I were to put any label on your situation it would be that your are not handling puberty well and as such are a little over sexed. This is understandable given your age. You need to speak with your mother and tell her what is going on with you. You need to also tell her what has been going on with your online relations. This is for your own safety.

Your safety is most important to me. You have placed yourself in serious danger by sending your photograph out to men you don't know.PLEASE tell you parents what is happening to you and what you are doing so that they can protect you.

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Okay i am 13, and me and my boyfriend have been dating for a couple months and we talk about that stuff all the time. We have only madeout (i also got a hickey) but i really wanna turn him on, how?

Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.

I hope what sillyrob really meant was that you and your boyfriend are a little to young to be going down the road of handjobs and blowjobs.

Right now you and your boyfriend should be more into kissing and heavy petting. Thrust me, if you want to turn him on, you can do so with heavy petting.

There is one thing you need to know about boys. While going through puberty, which you two are just starting into, he is pre-programmed, to wanting to have sex. He needs to release the pent up sexual anxiety building with in him caused by all the hormonal changes taking place. Boys his age mistake lust for love.

What you need to do is slow him down. Your best protection against an unwanted pregnancy is keeping your pants (panties) on. He needs to keep his pants on too and his zipper closed.

Sure it starts with a handjob with him. Then he says let me finger you. Next thing you know your both naked and excited, he either has sex with you or cums and gets sperm inside you while fingering you. It has happened. If he cums on his fingers and fingers you; will you get pregnant? Possible yes, remember it only takes one sperm to make you pregnant.

He can take care of himself at home, in the privacy of his bedroom. It is called masturbating and 95% of us masturbate, this includes adults. It is actually what you do for each other when giving a handjob or fingering. Masturbating is the safest way to relieve sexual tension caused by puberty.

Most all of the recognized religions, including the Catholic Church, condone masturbation. Contrary to what my parents told us kids and what some parents may still be telling their children; you will not go blind and you will not grow hair in the palm of your hand from masturbating.

For someone my age I have very liberal views on sex, and teenage sexual behavior. If I thought you were old enough to understand the consequences of adult sexual relations, and blowjobs fit that category, I would have written a different response. Write back to me in a few years and I will most likely supply you with different information.

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I went to my doctor, asking for birth control. My periods are irregular, but I also am sexually active. I told her I wasn't, and she said this medication would be fine to take for regulating periods. I read the pamphlet that came with the pills and it says it's normal birth control, helps reduce the chances of getting pregnant. I also looked it up online, and many people are happy with their results. I'm just confused on why she told me it's meant for your periods. Is there different dosages? Please help, I'm 16 and don't want to wind up pregnant because of some small misunderstanding.
Thanks!

Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom of my age an life experience will be helpful to you.

One of the other advisers answered your question correctly about the medication your doctor gave you. I'm writing because of something else you wrote. The fact that you were not truthful with your doctor. I will assume you did so to hide the truth not from the doctor per say but so the doctor would not tell your parents.

You need to be truthful with your doctor when asking for any and every type of treatment, from a sore throat to sexual type problems. If you are not truthful the doctor cannot treat you properly.

The LAW ALLOWS for you to TRUTHFULL and has DONE so since you were 13. It is called medical confidentiality. This is granted to you under a law known as HIPPA. In short it says that your doctor(s) cannot release any information to anyone without your written consent, this includes your parents. This includes all medical professional who have any type of medical contact with you.

By law if you were in a car accident and I as a first responder or one of our paramedics were to have any contact with you; we could not tell your parents what we treated you for or what hospital we may have taken you to without your permission. This is the law and it is strictly enforced with heavy jail time for any provider that breaks your medical confidence. One thing about the above example; the police are not medical providers and not bound by this law so they can release what hospital you were taken to. It is a loophole in the law.

So now that you know that your doctor(s) are bound by law to keep your confidence; please always be truthful in answering their questions concerning; your medical history, why you are visiting them that day, and any other questions they may ask. Questions along with physical exams are the only way a doctor has to figure out what your problem may be. If you do not give truthful answers to the doctors questions the doctor could misdiagnose you and cause more harm than good. Some times leading you to question the results of your visit as you have with your question to us today.

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ok so im a girl and i know that i like guys already, but i have my bff. . .lets call her. . .nan. so nan and i have become really good friends this year and i think i am bi curious. like whenever she texts me i get all happy and she always makes me smile and shes so beautiful. . .but i dont know. i dont want to be even bi curious. i dont know if its just a phase but ive had thoughts on same sex relationships for like 6 maybe 7 months now. i mean i cant even decide for myself whether im bi curious or not because i think i might be in some kind of denial. i've neer felt this way b4 towad any girl but from what i just wrote, do i sound bi or bi curious to you?

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At your age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.

There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at your age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females.

I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.

My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are older if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.

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where can 13 year olds get jobs

Hello, I am old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom that comes of age will be helpful to you.

If you are looking for a regular part-time job such as working at a fast food restaurant or a summer job as a camp counselor; you are to young for those jobs. Depending on the laws in your state you may even be to young to baby sit.

The best type jobs you can hope for are the old standbys for teenagers. They would be mowing the neighbors lawns, helping to clean out the neighbors garage, washing cars and possibly delivering newspapers. I say possibly for where I live that has become an adult occupation.

Your at an age right now that your to old to be called a child, yet your to young to be a young adult. When my son was your age I coined the phrase "betweener". In between the ages where there are things that are meaningful.

If you want a job, not for the money but for something to do, which is about all you can do at this time. You could contact your local parks and recreation for summer assistant camp counselor. You get to go to summer camp for free or reduced cost and it look good when you are old enough to actually have a job to put as work experience.

I wish I had something better to offer you but I am afraid with the possible exception of baby sitting, there is not much else for you to do to earn money until you are at least 3 years older.

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Im a 14 year old female. My life has many downs to it. I have many problems too. Then again, I have things to be greatful for. I have a few friends I love and many great church friends. I play high school softball, travel softball, and basketball. I absolutely love sports causr I am mainly a pitcher! Then...last week I was in a terrible car crash. I had to go into immediate surgery and had servere brain injurys that caused me not to remember anyone for a few days. I almost lost my legs completely but I didnt. But i AM paralyzed the rest of my life in a wheel chair!! I never thought anything like that could happen to me. I can
never do sports again or walk again! I just lay in this hospital bed as my friends and family telll me how sorry they are. The amazing part is that I havent cried since it happpened because I want to be strong. Theres noone I have to cry with but now I need a shoulder to burst on!

Hi, I m old enough to be your grandfather. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and my life experience will be helpful to you.

I am so sorry to hear about your accident and how it has left you. I can understand how you fell as I too had an accident that has left me with a disability that I must deal with everyday. At this time my disability does not affect my mobility but someday I may have to deal with the possibility of being in a wheelchair because of it.

Yes, you need to cry. I cried too, not because of my disability I can and will deal with it. I cried because of the things my disability will and did cause me to loose. Yes even at my age I cried. There are times when crying helps us deal with what we are facing, helps us unload so we can move forward. It is not required of us to be strong for others. Others need to be strong for us.

Some of this I learned in talk therapy with a psychologist who is helping meal deal with my disability and the depression it has caused me. I am learning a lot about myself and gain the strength to see life beyond my disability. I've also learned how not to allow other to treat me differently because I have a disability.

My advice: Ask the hospital to have a psychologist visit with you. You may or may not be suffering from depression as I am. what talking with the psychologist does is give you someone you can be totally free with when talking with him/her.

By law since you were 13 years old you have medical confidentiality. Your doctors cannot release any of you medical information without your written permission. The only time they were able to do this was on your admission to the hospital when they needed permission to operate to save your life. Then as next of kin they had the right to know so they could make proper medical decisions for you.

Now you can make those decisions or you can give written permission for your parents to make them. Still each doctor needs that permission in writing. So while you are being treated for your physical ailments and may give permission to your parents to consult with those doctors. Separate permission would be needed to consult with your therapist. This law is called HIPPA.

My wife, son and I all have cross permission for medical information. I did not give my therapist permission to release any information to either my wife or son. While they have both consulted with her on several occasion she listened to their concerns but gave them no information without consulting with me first.

To bring this to a completion, you can feel completely confident in speaking with psychologist and I full suggest you do so. Unburdening yourself about how you are truly feeling in a secure manor such as talk therapy will aid in your recovery and your ability to move forward.

There are still sports you can do from a wheelchair and your church and friends will be there for you. What you need is a positive attitude. I know you can develop that attitude. I and the other advisers are always here if you need us.

Good luck, I know you will develop the positive attitude you need and come out of this a stronger person.

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i am a undergraduate student aged 20yr. since 16yr i have been manstrubating 2/3 times a day and was in daydreaming frequently. due to this , i ruined my most important educational career by misutilisation of time . now i want to stop this and want to make a brand new start. so, i need your advice that what should now ?

Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully the wisdom of my age will be helpful.

Let me start by saying masturbation is totally normal. Most teenagers masturbate, be they boys or girl, to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the hormonal changes brought on by puberty. A recent report relates that as many as 90% of the population masturbate.

The only time masturbation is wrong is when the urge to masturbate precludes doing everything else. Masturbating two to three times a day for someone 16 to 21 years of age is within the normal range as that is within the range of puberty.

Blaming the misutilization of time on masturbating may be placing the blame on the wrong subject. Masturbation requires privacy while daydreaming can be done anywhere. It is again normal for men to think about sex more than women do. It is just as normal for a young male to have many erections during the day. I read a study somewhere that said a male, I forget the exact number it was quite high, many erections during the day as he is constantly preoccupied with the thoughts of sex. While this is true it is also true that this preoccupation is mostly a subconscious one as conscious function allows him to concentrate in other areas giving him to wonder at times why he is erect.

I see your problem as one in need to learn how to prioritize and focusing not how to stop masturbating. To focus better you might want to try and remove stimulants from you view such as sexy pictures, sex magazines and such. Try locking out porn sites from your computer. If you cannot do that, work at the library and use their computers for school related work. I’m sure their computers have the porn sites locked out. The more stimulus you can remove from view the less you should be able day dream about.

There is one other thing you might want to try. As unbelievable as this may sound, you may need to relieve yourself more often than two or three times a day. Try masturbating before class, between classes when you have time to do so; before going to the library to do your school work and before going to sleep at night.

By removing as much visual stimulation and by reducing your body’s signals for relief your day dreaming should subside and your ability to focus increase. I do not suggest taking the medication to reduce your libido as they have long lasting side effects you won’t like. If you feel the need for medical intervention I would suggest you speak with a sex therapist.

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Can someone help me write a Business Thank you letter. It doesn't matter what kind of business i just want someone to help me do it. I will really appreciated. "Thank you"

Hi, I am one of the older advisers on this site. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.

Jasmine23 is correct as far as templates go. Pick the one that best suites the type of business letter you wish to write. If this is a thank you for a job interview or something nice a company did for you a standard form letter is fine

Date


Company name
Addressee
Address
City, State, Zip Code


Dear (sir, Madam or Last Name)

The substance of the letter should be short and to the point. Make sure to run your spell and grammar checker, especially if this is for a job interview. Check all capitalizations and punctuations.

If this is a job interview thank you, keep it simple. Remember they are receiving many of these and simple is better. You might say something to the effect:

Thank you for your time on Monday. I enjoyed meeting with you and learning more about XYZ. I come away from our meeting with the belief I am an excellent fit for the position you are looking to fill.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

If your thanking them for something they have done for you you can be a little more wordy in the substance of your letter

You start by thanking them for what they did for you and how it may have saved you time, trouble and money. In the next paragraph if you know the persons name who helped you make sure to ask that they thank that person as you found them very professional and help full

In the third and closing paragraph you can tell them how much you like their products and how their help will keep you as a dedicated customer.

Of course there are other types of Business thank you letters you might need to write. These are the two most popular that I've used as examples to help you.

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