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I'm okay with the way I look but it seems like no one else is...
Hey! I just have a question on your guys's opinion. And also some advice. I'm sixteen, and a girl. I am 5'4 and 105 pounds. I wear size 7 shoes. In your opinion would you say that's very small...? It seems like people (guys in particular) always make a big deal about how "little" I am. And personally, I don't think I'm that small, I'd say average right? I mean I am thin and I'm not what you'd call strong per say but yeah... It does bother me a little, the hype some people make about it. Like my guy friends were giving me shit saying I shouldn't play powderpuff this weekend (its like, one day where girls from schools in the area get a team together in their school and play other schools in flag football) because I wouldn't be any help and just get myself hurt. It's not even tackle football! Or even just guys at shcool will constantly voice how small they think I am and how that means they can do whatever they want to me. Or my boyfriend has also said on occasion how he doesn't think I'd ever be able to defend myself if I needed to. And its combined with all the times people make me feel like I'm helpless and can't do stuff cause they think I'm little. It's comments and jokes that most people don't think would bother someone but that just build and make me mad... and I'm not sure what to do about it... I can't change my body and I'm not saying I want to because I'm okay with the way I look but it seems like no one else is... And it's really starting to take a toll on me.
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I'm hoping the wisdom that comes with age and some life experiences will be helpful to you.
When I was your age a girl who was 5'4" and 105 pounds was the ideal girl to look for, I would suggest you not change a thing of that which you can change. Since you are still in your puberty years, puberty can last in to your early twenties, you could still experience a small growth spurt. The only way to know if you have stopped growing is with an x ray of your growth plates to see if they have closed.
From my point of view, I do not think it is worth asking a doctor to have the x rays taken. If they are closed they can't be reopened. If there open you will experience the growth spurt when your body is ready. Your happy with your physical body as it is, that is all that matters.
As to what your friends are saying to you and about you: That makes me mad too since there is nothing you can do about it. They are doing it for two reasons, actually three. One, because they are jealous of how you look and they will never look like you (the girls that is). Two, because they know they can get under your skin and upset you and three, because kids can be very mean to each other especially when they can't have something you have. In this case the girls can't have your body and the boys can't have you.
To them and this I say; to heck with them. The only person you need to be better than is you. Sounds strange, I will explain.
When I was working I was a Sales person. In sales we would always try to spark some type of competition to promote and motivate the sales force. As a general rule this worked very well.
It was either the competition or the promotional, rewards, that motivated most of the sales force. I didn't need promotions or competitions to do my job. The only person I needed to be better than was the person I was yesterday. If I could do better tomorrow than I did today then I was a winner.
I did so by seeking to learn something new about myself, my business or my customers and their businesses. It must have worked because I lead my region in sales each year and recognized as salesman of the year several times.
In short, worry less about what others think about you and more about what you think about you. You have already said you like who you are, so stay with that feeling.
Your high school friends are short term friends at best for most of them. In 2 years or so you will go off to college and make new friends, set new goals. At this time the only real goal all teenagers have is to complete high school, and for most, get into the college of choice. Once in college the saying you can never go home again will have perfect meaning for as I said most all of your high school friends go off in different directions and have their own goals in life. They go for the most part from friends to acquaintances.
I would suggest one thing, more for you own best interest and not because of you size and weight. I would recommend this and even push my own daughter to do this had I had a daughter.
Given the world we live-in today I would suggest you take some type of self-defence course. A martial arts course is probably the best to take as it will not only teach you how to defend yourself. It will also teach you the discipline you will while away at college and later in life. It is also a good way to stay in shape.
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Hi!
I'm 'little' too, but not in personality!
I think that it is a phase that your friends are going through socially, because I had the same experience. I found that if I didn't really talk to them about my size when they mentioned it, and if i just ignored their rubbish comments and carried on doing what I wanted to, that people got over it eventually. They could also see that size didn't matter when they saw me achieving goals that I set out to do.
Play all the sports, do all the things you want to, and just say 'Whatever' when they start blabbing on about it, and brush it off and go and be BIG! Some big in size people are really little in character, especially if they don't care about others and will say obnoxious things.
And as a women, it is nice to fit under a guys armpit for a cuddle, and not be as tall as a bloke. Most guys don't want to date really tall ladies as they get intimidated by their height, and feel uncomfortable. Little is also seen as cute and feminine, so play that card to your advantage.
have fun being you!
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