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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

So I'm going into the woods with a couple friends, my mom has been letting me go there for about 2 years now. I lost my glasses about a month ago there, and now she won't let me go. I've already tried telling her I'd leave my glasses at home, but she still says no. I've decided to just go wirhout telling her, I'm going to do that if I can't convince her. So, if none of your answers work, that's what I'm doing. So, any ideas on how to convince her to let me go?

I would not recommend going against your mother's wishes. As a parent and someone probably old enough to be your grandfather I can tell you that you have more to lose than just your glasses.

Parents have ways of finding these things out. IF you lie to her you better write that lie down because lies are something you never remember while the truth is always remembered. When you get caught in a lie what happens is you lose the trust of your parents. Trust is the easiest thing to lose. Once lost it is the hardest thing to regain.

I know from your past questions you are a young lady probably about 14 to 16 years of age. You may be dating or will want to date soon. Without your parents trust dating is going to be a problem for it requires a great deal of trust in you by us as parents to allow you as a girl to date. It's easier for a parents of a boy as he is not the one who gets pregnant. Sorry but that is just the facts of like when it comes to trust and dating.

So just how important is it that you must lie to mom and go into the woods with your friends? Mom will find out I guarantee it. The consequences of your lie can have a long lasting effect because you will lose what ever trust mom has in you.

Think about the last time you tried to fool the wool over your parents eyes. Did you get away with it or did sometime in the future did you pay the price for you lie?

27 female

When I was 12 I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention deficit disorder) .When I was 16 my psychologist diagnosed me with Bipolar and Anxiety disorder plus just a few months ago they diagnosed me with Sensory Processing disorder. I have melt downs for apparent reason. They also say I have a mild form of Mental retardation.

Here lately my meltdowns have been more common. I just feel like getting drunk and smoking weed so I don't have to deal with th I stress anymore.

You have a multitude of problems that I'm not sure any of us are qualified enough to give you an answer that will help you cope with the combination of these problems.

I do have one concern though which is being diagnosed by a psychologist for Bipolar disorder. I am well aware of this disorder and I am also aware that in certain parts of this country a psychologist may prescribe certain medications.

For the past 26 years through my wife's employment with the leading supplier of mental health care in this country I have become knowledgeable in the area of mental health.

Bipolar disorder is a very complex problem sometimes misdiagnosed, which requires a medical doctor to diagnose, treat and medicate as needed. I also feel though it is just that a feeling that the SPD may be related to the bipolar disorder or the two combined may be an entirely different diagnoses. Your ADHD probably also plays a part in making a proper diagnoses.

What I am going to suggest and hope you will follow my suggestion is this. Make an appointment with a Board Certified Psychiatrist to be diagnosed for exactly what may be wrong with you. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has completed a Fellowship in psychiatry and passed all the boards to be certified by the college of psychiatry to practice psychiatry. This is the best doctor to diagnose and treat you for the problems you wrote about. You should also make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical as the psychiatrist will request one anyway.

You will be asked to continue to see your psychologist as he or she is the best person to help you deal with whatever the diagnoses you receive from the psychiatrist is. The two work together to treat you.

At best smoking weed or getting drunk may only mask the symptoms you have it will not cure anything. I know from experience getting drunk does not cure depression. Please take my advice and see a psychiatrist and get a proper diagnoses.

If you need help in finding a Board Certified psychiatrist call your local hospital's patient referral line and ask for their help

So my anxiety is so severe that it's honestly considered a disability. I can't work at most jobs, especially those around people.

I don't want to live off of disability. I would rather kill myself. I want to work so desperately, no one has any idea how badly I want to work. But every work I find, I just can't do because of my intense disability.

So anyone, please give me some suggestions on what jobs people with disabilities can do!

Have you contacted Goodwill Industries. They specialize in finding jobs for the disabled. I would also contact the salvation army and the disabled veterans of America.

Hi there! So I am dealing with a crazy insecurity with my outer appearance. Truthfully, I want advice on how to see myself as beautiful or how to focus wholly on my personality (because I think my personality is nearly flawless, but I will admit I could always improve).

Everyone says I don't look "average beautiful," instead I look "uniquely and weirdly beautiful."

Is that a compliment, or should I be offended?

I mean, I like the idea of being "uniquely beautiful," but I still don't know what's better - "uniquely" or "average?"

I'm so sorry, I must sound conceited because I probably sound overly obsessed with how I look. But everywhere I go, it seems everyone only cares about how someone looks on the outside, which is most likely why I care about mine so much.

Anyone have any advice, please?

The thing about appearance is it is designed to attract and is really only skin deep. A person's real beauty is their inner beauty or as you stated their personality.

Take sexual attraction for example. Sex will only take a relationship so far then one day you wake up and find you have nothing in common and even the sex has grown stale.

From where I sit who cares if they find your beauty average or uniquely and weirdly beautiful. I would say however they describe you they find you attractive and pleasing to be with. Concentrate on that and your inner beauty.

The girl I married some 45 years ago I actually met in an elevator. We worked for the same Airline. She worked downtown in the res center and I worked at the airport. I had to go to the res center for training . For several months prior she and I spoke on the phone between flights. It was love at first site for both of us because we had established a relationship that was beyond the physical before meeting. Six months after our elevator ride we married.

Focusing on the outer beauty is not so much conceited as it is shallow. Work on developing your interpersonal skills that allow the real you to shine through. This is where the real beauty of you shines through.

Sometimes I am on eggshells with my relationship with my stepdad(family relationship). Sometimes we get into arguements to the point were we actually yell at each other and sometimes my mother has to call it off. But my question is, when I was young, my mother and biological father didn't have the best of relationships either, so I ask is it possible that she sees some of my father in me and should I talk to her about it?

This is a difficult question to answer as scientifically there is no answer to the question. We are the sum of the parts which is equal parts of the genes we get from our biological parents. Family members may see certain traits in us that they see in one of our parents but the question is. Is this a trait of a parent or something unique to us.

For example a woman is raped by a serial killer and becomes pregnant. She decides to go through with the pregnancy and raise the child. Because the father is a serial killer will the child be a serial killer? There is no record of this type of killer coming from this type of pregnancy although this type of pregnancy does happen.

On the other hand certain medical conditions do pass from parent to child. These medical conditions do in fact skip generations which is why doctors ask for medical histories as far back as grandparents.

As you can see just by the little bit I have written the answer to your question could be yes or no. For the most part you are a product of your environment. Relationships with stepparents are sometimes tenuous at best for many different reasons.

My best answer to you is. You are a unique individual. You may be quick tempered, you may harbor some ill feelings towards your stepfather which would not be unusual. You can learn to control your temper I did which also came as I matured.

You could sit down with mom, stepdad and talk about your relationship to find away to coexist better. I know from experience with my nieces that their step dad felt at times that they took advantage of him or were just downright ungrateful for what he was able to bring to them. If you can allow yourself to do so let your step dad know that while you may not always show it you are appreciative of what he brings to the family unit and that you try not to disrespect him.

You would be surprised how a little understanding between you two will lower the boiling point. Lowering the boiling point will allow for fewer arguments and better living conditions.

Hi everyone, so I am 20 years old and my ex is 35. We dated for a year and a half and lived together. We have been broken up for about 6-7 weeks now. I miss him. I love this man. We had plans to move away together and now he's leaving and moving away within the next few months. My heart is shattered. We were very toxic together, constantly arguing, I have awful communication skills which was a big issue in our relationship on my end but on his, I was always anxious. I felt like no matter what I did I would get lectured, or made fun of, or get in trouble like a child. I was so unhappy in the relationship and prayed God would give me an out because I was so unhappy, and so anxious. Now I miss him, and I just want him, I want things to be wonderful. Trust has been broken and tested on both sides. He has pulled me out of my family parties because we were fighting or he wasn't enjoying himself. My family started to invite me to less things because they didn't want him around. My family, and friends don't like him. As toxic as we are I love him. I'm mortified that he's leaving, I can't believe he's leaving me. He's taking my/our dream and running with it. He can't live in that house because it's so empty and he needs a brand new start in life. Towards the end I said "I'm scared to leave but I'm more scared to stay" and now I find myself not even knowing what I want. I just want to lay next to him, I want to feel him and know that he's here. Just any advice, any comment. Maybe you've been in a crazy toxic relationship and how did you resolve it? He's also a very angry person and I am a very happy easy going person and that was a big issue always because he'd get mad over just about anything. Anything might help. Thank you!

Below is my previous answer to this question. My answer hasn't changed as your question hasn't changed. As I said there are couples who can love each other but can't live with each other which may be the case with this relationship. That and the fact that there is a 15 year age difference.

I am of the belief that the toxic affect in this relationship is not communication skills but the age difference. You said it yourself when you wrote, "no matter what I did I would get lectured, or made fun of, or get in trouble like a child." Two adults rarely if ever lecture one another.

My advice is: Start going out and having fun again, even if it is just a girls night out. Be open to some guy asking for your number or asking you out.

-------------------------------------------------

I'm not sure your going to like what I say though I am going to say it anyway.

The one thing missing from what you wrote is how long you lived together. What I see though is someone barely out of her teens pining for someone 15 years her senior. While age is just a number, a means of track one's time on earth, it can also be a cause for a very rocky and toxic relationship.

I have no doubt you love him and in some manner he may even love you. It is the difference that 15 years between you makes that is the cause of your problems. He has already sowed his oats, done the things you may want to do. Hopefully learned from the mistakes that you would normally make as you grow and mature into a mature adult. He is ready to settle down, start a family and enjoy life in a manner different than you might not enjoy.

There is also the difference in friends yours being your age and his being around his age. The maturity level comes into play again and his dealing with his friends over this problem. Maturity comes with age as does the ability to communicate at a better level. Some of the communication skills are learned in college. Others are learned in the workplace.

You did not say if you have gone to college. By your age you have not worked long enough to garner the skills of the work place to communicate at his level.

When you put all of this together and look at the differences that separate you two logically the deck is stacked against you. Of course I am speaking with the wisdom of my 70 years of age give me and I see things very differently than you do. Its called perception and people's perception of things do differ with age even as little difference as 15 years.

I can't say if your relationship with him is salvageable or not. I would tend to think it is not. He has chosen to get a clean start something I would say is the right and mature thing to do after evaluating the pros and cons of the situation. You may very well love each other but may not be able to live with each other. There are a lot of people like that who are even closer in age then you two.

MY suggestion is that you are 20years old. You have not truly experienced life and love. Their is a true love out there for you waiting to meet you that you can have the life you want with. It may take some time to get over him though you will get over him.

Start going out and having fun again, even if it is just a girls night out. Be open to some guy asking for your number or asking you out. If you want try the dating sites. My son has they type of job that women are reluctant to marry into.

No he is not a police officer he is a firefighter still the type of job a wife is never sure when she sends him off to work if he is coming home again. His wife said when she saw this on his match site she almost didn't respond. But after meeting him she said she would take however long she has with him.

These dating sites are great if your looking for a custom fit in our off the rack world. One way or another I am positive no matter how much you say you love this man. There is a man out there waiting to meet you that you will love even more and want to make a family with.

Hi! 24/f

We went on a few dates, and got very serious, very quickly. He was very open and said he was in AA, sober for 3 years. He then texted me a few hours before a date and said he failed to share that he relapsed a couple of weeks ago and his sponsor highly recommends that he should not date for a few months to focus on himself & recovery. That makes total sense, but I have such strong feelings for him. Should I check in with him a month or so and just catch-up and hear about his progress or should I just stay away?

I've never dated someone in AA, so I'm not sure if that would be a distraction and really bad or good because it means I want to be friends, and I'm really wanting the best for him/ to hear about his accomplishments. I don't think I can text him sooner than that because I honestly think he just needs time.

What do you guys think?

My brother in-law is a 25 year recovering alcoholic. He says AA saved his life and he lives the 12 step program. Understand one thing about living with a recovering addict. There lives are and have to be black and white there can be no gray areas.

Example my brother in-law hired a company to put a new roof on his house. The crew that did the roof offered to install gutter guards at a price well below that of what he was quoted by their boss. To the crew it was normal to do so and they receive a share of the sale if they do make the sale. I took advantage of the savings when they did my roof. My brother in-law did not and called the company to report them because to him they were cheating their boss.

The product would not be on the truck if they weren't expected to try and make a sale. It is a last ditch attempt at additional profit from a job. The product cost them next to nothing and only an hours or so worth of labor making the sale almost pure profit.

I can't tell you exactly what to do though my advice is to wait to let him come to you. In the meantime continue to date and see if you find someone you might be more compatible with.

I was taught that when a girl starts her period, it is often irregular, and will even out as she matures.

I am 18 and have had my period for more than four years, and it is not getting any more regular. If anything it is becoming more irregular. Just a few months ago I had a 36 day cycle, and more recently I had one that was only 19 days.

Is this normal? Will I even out eventually?

I did start university this fall, so the change and new hormones from the girls I am living with could have an affect, but that would only explain the more recent ones....

I'm just wondering if I should be worried. Do I need to talk to my doctor?(please say no, I am scared of doctors)

A woman's menstrual cycle is a very delicate thing and can be thrown off very easily. Stress is one of the major issues that affect a woman's cycle more than anything. The fact that you
recently started university may be a factor.

At the moment I do not believe you need to see a doctor about this. Though if after a few more months your cycle continues to be irregular then I suggest you see a gynecologist. The most likely fix would be to put you on birth control to regulate your periods. That would be after a complete physical to rule out any other factors.

For now and until after semester break my advise is to try and calm down and go with the flow at school.

So my boyfriend wanted me to touch him because he was having a boner but I'm not sure how to handle it

Type the following into a search engine and it will return a number of returns that will help you with your question.

how to give a boy a hand job

My fiance has a very small penis. It does not go inside of me. Though we tried just for once still I can tell we have tried like forever to get it erect and hard still he could not insert. It was not my first time and I was totally both physically and mentally prepared to do it and was completely wet so it was not my problem but what I think is it was because of the very small (nearly like a female thumb) size of his penis. Also he was not lubricating properly. It was his first time so I think he was nervous and I was not able to excite him and he did not have the full arousal.He tried to penetrate me for several times but failed and he was shivering and sweating abnormally. I got terrified seeing his condition. Still while playing with my body he ejaculated. It seemed the semen was thick and normal though. But I am shocked and worried together having seen the size of his penis and disappointed also. Don't know why having these thoughts that I can not get pregnant and satisfied with him. I could not tell him but its killing me inside. He may get hurt. I was physically not satisfied also went to dipression. It was kind of embarrassing for both of us and we did not even discuss about the whole thing afterwards. He got fever also after the incident. What should I do?

According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Keep in mind that this is the average, the middle between the largest and the smallest, above the micro-penis (below 2 inches in length). The survey states that size varies based on age, time of day, level of excitement and ambient temperature.

What you are born with is what you have. There is no way to enhance, or enlarge a penis even with surgery. Penile surgery is usually done to assist those with erectile dysfunction when there is no other medical solution that will help.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

Men with the smallest penis can and will get a women pregnant as long as they ejaculate in the vagina.

I assume you love your fiancé. As it says above you cannot make his penis longer. What you can do is take his performance anxiety away. He knows he has a small penis and he is very concerned about satisfying you. He should be able to as his penis, if as you say is the size of a female thumb, is larger than a regular tampon.

Sex is a learned activity. By that I mean we all know the mechanics of it. Its what we don't know that is the cause of the anxiety. Intercourse is the end game. Arousal is the game the fun part. You need to teach each other where you like to be touched. How you like to be caressed and what foreplay excites you. Do you like oral sex. Do you give oral sex.

He may have been sick when you first tried so you should try again. I would suggest that you do so without any goals of intercourse just get use to being naked together and touching one another removing any anxiety he may have.

Since he is a virgin show him the different parts of your vagina. Do you know if you are more clitoral in nature or more vaginal in nature. There are many women who can not get excited vaginally and must have their clitoris stimulated.

A complete physical for both of you is also in order complete with STD screening. Then I would also suggest counseling with a qualified sex therapist. This is a psychologist trained in the area of sexual dysfunction.

A small penis does not mean a poor sex life. This is something you are know concerned about but something he has been concerned about since he learned his penis was for something other than peeing. If you truly love him you will help him past this I assure you if you do you will have the sex life you want, as well as the family you want and you will never have to worry about him looking elsewhere for sex.

Hi everyone, so I am 20 years old and my ex is 35. We dated for a year and a half and lived together. We have been broken up for about 6-7 weeks now. I miss him. I love this man. We had plans to move away together and now he's leaving and moving away within the next few months. My heart is shattered. We were very toxic together, constantly arguing, I have awful communication skills which was a big issue in our relationship on my end but on his, I was always anxious. I felt like no matter what I did I would get lectured, or made fun of, or get in trouble like a child. I was so unhappy in the relationship and prayed God would give me an out because I was so unhappy, and so anxious. Now I miss him, and I just want him, I want things to be wonderful. Trust has been broken and tested on both sides. He has pulled me out of my family parties because we were fighting or he wasn't enjoying himself. My family started to invite me to less things because they didn't want him around. My family, and friends don't like him. As toxic as we are I love him. I'm mortified that he's leaving, I can't believe he's leaving me. He's taking my/our dream and running with it. He can't live in that house because it's so empty and he needs a brand new start in life. Towards the end I said "I'm scared to leave but I'm more scared to stay" and now I find myself not even knowing what I want. I just want to lay next to him, I want to feel him and know that he's here. Just any advice, any comment. Maybe you've been in a crazy toxic relationship and how did you resolve it? He's also a very angry person and I am a very happy easy going person and that was a big issue always because he'd get mad over just about anything. Anything might help. Thank you!

I'm not sure your going to like what I say though I am going to say it anyway.

The one thing missing from what you wrote is how long you lived together. What I see though is someone barely out of her teens pining for someone 15 years her senior. While age is just a number, a means of track one's time on earth, it can also be a cause for a very rocky and toxic relationship.

I have no doubt you love him and in some manner he may even love you. It is the difference that 15 years between you makes that is the cause of your problems. He has already sowed his oats, done the things you may want to do. Hopefully learned from the mistakes that you would normally make as you grow and mature into a mature adult. He is ready to settle down, start a family and enjoy life in a manner different than you might not enjoy.

There is also the difference in friends yours being your age and his being around his age. The maturity level comes into play again and his dealing with his friends over this problem. Maturity comes with age as does the ability to communicate at a better level. Some of the communication skills are learned in college. Others are learned in the workplace.

You did not say if you have gone to college. By your age you have not worked long enough to garner the skills of the work place to communicate at his level.

When you put all of this together and look at the differences that separate you two logically the deck is stacked against you. Of course I am speaking with the wisdom of my 70 years of age give me and I see things very differently than you do. Its called perception and people's perception of things do differ with age even as little difference as 15 years.

I can't say if your relationship with him is salvageable or not. I would tend to think it is not. He has chosen to get a clean start something I would say is the right and mature thing to do after evaluating the pros and cons of the situation. You may very well love each other but may not be able to live with each other. There are a lot of people like that who are even closer in age then you two.

MY suggestion is that you are 20years old. You have not truly experienced life and love. Their is a true love out there for you waiting to meet you that you can have the life you want with. It may take some time to get over him though you will get over him.

Start going out and having fun again, even if it is just a girls night out. Be open to some guy asking for your number or asking you out. If you want try the dating sites. My son has they type of job that women are reluctant to marry into.

No he is not a police officer he is a firefighter still the type of job a wife is never sure when she sends him off to work if he is coming home again. His wife said when she saw this on his match site she almost didn't respond. But after meeting him she said she would take however long she has with him.

These dating sites are great if your looking for a custom fit in our off the rack world. One way or another I am positive no matter how much you say you love this man. There is a man out there waiting to meet you that you will love even more and want to make a family with.

Hello, I'll try to make this quick so here is the deal...I'm 22 and female and my boyfriend, whom I have been with for 1.5 years is 24. We have been looking at apartments because we believe that we are ready to do that and test the waters out in the real world.

Now, I've always grown up being the good girl, listening to my mom and dad and following all of the advice they give me so please do not give me advice to not listen to my mother and just pack my things and go because that is not the kind of person I am.

I am a preschool teacher, making 26,000 a year and my boyfriend is an assistant manager at a walmart, making 53,000 dollars a year. I don't want that to come off as showy, it is to simply give you an estimate of what he and I are living off of. He and I have been looking at an apartment and we really like it because it does allow pets and we do have a dog. The rent for the apartment that we like is either 800 for a two bedroom or 945 with two bedrooms and a small den for an office space, also with a balcony and he really wants office space so he is leaning more toward the 945, plus the balcony would be fun for our pup. I believe that is a bit pricey but he said it is only fair for him to pay more since he makes more so he would pay 545 and I would pay 400 every month. Everything is included in our rent except for electric and the landlord said that electric should not really exceed 125.

With that said, my mom is not telling me no or that I'm not allowed to move out but, she grew up mennonite and her father did not allow her to move out until her and my father were married and they were financially stable enough to buy a home, my grandfather did not believe in wasting their money on renting something. So my mom has been trying to explain to me that moving out and renting a place out is a stupid plan because that is almost 1000 dollars a month that we could be saving to put towards a downpayment on a house. When, I am keeping in mind that if everything goes as planned at my boyfriend's walmart, he can make a maximum of an 80,000 bonus a year which we could just use for a downpayment on a house.

So, I understand where she is coming from but I do not believe that she understands me. I do not think that staying home for years upon years is going to teach me anything such as learning how to shop on a budget and getting bills out on time and ensuring that I keep up with cleaning my place and making sure dishes are clean and that even food is made so that my boyfriend and I can enjoy meals together. Plus, in this day and age, it is more common for couples to move out before marriage in order to ensure that the couple is compatible being together 24/7 and there is no way that I would commit to buying a home with a person that I am just "dating." Plus, my mom's best friend has a daughter that is married and her and her husband had moved out and lost all of their money and had to move back home so my mom is just nervous thats something like that would happen to me as well.

So, I guess all in all, I'm asking what your advice is. Maybe toss out some pros and cons to renting? Maybe tell me a personal story of you moving out, into an apartment and either losing money and having to go back home and regretting it or renting a place out and loving it? Anything really is appreciated, just please, like I said, do not just tell me to disregard everything my mother told me.

In this day and age it is very common for a young couple married or not to go in either direction when it comes to housing. Not knowing where you live it is hard to give advice on which direction to go. Though judging on the rent you have shown you either do not live in the U.S. or live in a small Midwestern town as where I live a two bedroom apartment can go as high as $1,600 to $1,800.

There are times when renting is a necessity. Given your combined incomes of almost $80,000 you two are if you combined credit is good, excellent candidates for a mortgage. Lenders today will lend to unmarried couple. It is called something like borrowers in cohabitation. The sticking point in getting a mortgage will be if you have the down payment required which could be anywhere from 10 to 20 percent of the purchase price.

The down payment could be the reason why renting now and waiting for your boyfriends bonus to cover the down payment. This makes sense and your not truly throwing money away as your mother sees it. At the same time you are covering your concerns about cohabitation before investing in a major purchase such as a home.

As someone who has made his living as a salesman I will tell you the explanation to your mom is all in the presentation. Though at 22 you really do not have to explain yourself to your mom or anyone else. If you want to just tell mom basically as you have written here.

Mom I cannot see myself committing to a major purchase such as a home or marrying someone without first living with them to make sure we are compatible on a 24/7 basis and not just the few hours we date. I know this is not the way things were for you but things are different now and it is my way. BY renting for a year we are investing in our future to insure we will have a life together like you and dad have had. I want to marry for life not marry and cast him off if down the road we find we are not compatible.

As far as shopping and budgeting, those are things we all need to learn when we step out the front door of our parents house. You will do fine just like most of us have.

me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 8 months. when we first started dating he was this sweet guy that would never hurt me. he was probably the best thing i thought could have thought ever happened to me. I did see his jealousy and the way he would get mad. He was very agressive, but i just didnt think about it and i led it slide because nothing crazy had happened. Overtime things started to change, till the point he would scream at me, start punching things, he would verbally abuse me, throw things in my face abut my past (bad things that happened to me). He once grabbed me really hard from my neck, threw me on the bed on another occasion. Its getting out of control, aside from everything hes so immature, and rude. I am so stuck and inlove. I have never seen myself like this over any man. I need help. I dont know how to walk out of this situation, my family loves him especially my mom and shes always blaming me for everything. Shes always accusing me of treating him bad and being the bad one in the relationship. I need help on the right way to leave him. he is manipulating me and mind fucking me in every situaton and i dont know what to do. PLease dont tell me im being stupid, cause i already know that. i need some support. im scared that one day things will get worst and he will slap me or punch me or do something worst to me. i wish he could change. he acts like he doesnt even care about the relationship.

First of all you're not stupid so get that out of your head.. You are in an abusive relationship and you realize you need to escape. What your mom or anyone else things is immaterial, they see only what he lets them see. You see the real him.

You don't say if you are living with him or not. If you are living with him and need help moving out there are people you can call. One is called RAINN which stands for Rape Abuse National Network. They have a hotline you can call for help it is 1-800-656-HOPE. You can also see if there is a House of Ruth in your area;1-877-988-5559. The House of Ruth will help you leave and provide you with shelter.

RAINN is the best if you are not living with him as they will connect you with a crisis center in your area who will help you contact the right people to separate him from you.

I how this helps but remember on thing you are not stupid. You are an abused young women who needs help and help is a phone call away. Make the call get out of this relationship now.

Is it good to avoid sex in relashionship?

This is a very personal question one that only you can answer for yourself.

If you’re a teenager sex should be avoided for several reasons. First and foremost is the difference in the definition of love between a teenage boy and teenage girl. For the girl the definition is much like the dictionary definition. For the boy it gets more confusing and generally fits the definition of lust. Lust is not love but for the boy it is almost synonymous. Second is always the concern about pregnancy. Condoms are only 80% effective and them only if warn correctly. There are other ways to cool a teenage boy’s ardor without having intercourse. You should never have sex to prove your love for someone. Teenage boys will say to you; "If you love me you will have sex with me," or something to that effect."

As an adult over 18 your more mature and legally entitled to a sex life should you want one. You not your parents control your destiny. Once again at this age you are still dealing with boys that confuse lust and love so be careful.

As you get older sex does become part of a relationship as you are looking for a compatible partner. Since sex is part of married life having a compatible sex partner is important.

Here again it is your choice as to when to have sex. What are your values? Do you have sex on a first date or do you wait until a relationship builds? Guys looking for a wife won't mind waiting while those looking for just a good time will want to have sex as early in a relationship as they can talk you into it.

Of course I'm assuming that a girl is asking this question.

I want to apply for a gaming license to work at a casino. I have a record of arrests years ago for possession of a controlled substance and under the influence. I've been clean and sober for years. Will this affect me being approved for license?

This is not the type of question any of us can answer. Every state has different rules as to what will disqualify someone from being licensed. Was you conviction a felony or misdemeanor conviction also plays apart as to eligibility.

Even if you do get a license you have only won half the battle. Every casino has there own rules about hiring people with felony or misdemeanor convictions on their record. I do not suggest you try to hide it from future employers as it will come up when the check the validity of your license.

My advice is to call what ever department of state Government that issues the license and ask then if your conviction disqualifies you.

Hi I'm a 18 year old female
I always swore I was a straight girl and that I would never do anything with a girl. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We have great sex.
One day looking through his phone I saw that he was searching for transsexuals near him. I confronted him and he denied it , he even got very mad about it , I then saw it again about 2 to 3 times , his excuse has always been that the guys he works with like to mess around and look at "nasty things like that" he erases the history I've noticed so I don't see . I started doing research and reading articles , ever since Iv Ben fantasizing about being with woman. I've been getting turned on to seeing lesbian porn. I've even touched myself now and got orgasms over watching 2 girls. I really want too experiment with being with a girl now. It's driving me insane it has become like my main thing now . The reason I spoke about my boyfriend is because ever since I've seen those things it's been happening. Maybe it opened up my mind in some sort of way? Help? Opinions?

I don't think the concerns with your boyfriend have anything to do with your sudden desires with lesbian sex. There is nothing wrong being Bi curious or even being Bi.

Most women become Bi curious at a younger age as they become more sexually aware. The same with masturbation. Pornography of most types heterosexual or lesbian, threesome's or group sex will generally turn anyone on. I see nothing wrong with what you are feeling right now. I would not say your a lesbian and there is nothing wrong with being curious. You can't call yourself bi until you actually engage in female to female sex while remaining heterosexual as well.

One word of caution. Your boyfriend needs to be straight with you for if he is doing more than just looking and is participating in and gay sexual activity then your health is act risk. IF you are having sex with him make sure he uses a condom. Condoms protect against most but not all STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. You should both be tested for STDS and the HIV virus. If he won't get test you should.

19/female.

This has been going on for months. I've had a horrible past where I did absolutely nothing because I was so certain I was going to end up committing suicide. I went through that for years. But now I actually want to get my life together and have a bright future.

But I need advice BADLY!

I'm deathly afraid of my future. I've tried working before, but I just couldn't do it. Like I continuously had major anxiety attacks and was fired because of them. I just couldn't work for the life of me. And I'm about to apply for a position at Goodwill and I'm scared out of my mind that I'm going to have anxiety attacks and be fired from that job too! My dream is to be a senior caregiver though. I'm afraid that I'm literally not able to work and have to live off of disability, but I desperately don't want to do that - I want to work more than anyone could ever imagine. My dream is to work everyday, literally everyday for hours at a time.

I can drive now, but only have my learner's, but I'm afraid of parking. I can't park to save my life unless it's not near any cars. Parking near cars puts my mind into panic mode and it's scary!

And I'm stressed about bills, because my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together sometime next summer and I am afraid I won't pay the bills properly.

And what's making me upset as hell now is he's ALWAYS talking about driving to work and doing errands and all of this. And it depresses me because NO ONE knows how badly I want to work, but I am mega scared I won't ever be able to work.

I do take meds for my depression and anxiety, but nothing works to the point where I don't have anxiety attacks.

I'm crying my eyes out now, because I want to have a good future with my boyfriend... I just want to work, but what if I can't? I'd be depressed the rest of my life.

Advice, support and encouragement would be VERY helpful right now.

There are a lot of reasons why people have anxiety problems. One of the reasons among them is over thinking the problems. From what I'm reading here this is one of your problems.

Goodwill Industries may be a good place for you to work and build confidence in yourself, another of the reasons for anxiety. Goodwill is a different kind of employer as the can and will make allowances for disabilities if you make them aware of them. They specialize in giving jobs to those with all types of disabilities and anxiety is a disability.

You say your on medication. Medication does not always solved the whole problem especially for someone like you who may over think things. I believe you need to work with a psychologist to get at the reason for your anxiety. There is something deep seated that triggers these attacks. A psychologist through talk therapy will help you find the reason then help you deal with it in a better manner than having an anxiety attack and the depression that goes with it.

As I found out, depression causes pain, pain causes stress and anxiety which causes depression and the whole cycle continues. TO break this cycle you need to find what started the cycle. Once you do the cycle can be stop because you will learn to deal with the problem in a better way.

My suggestion therefore is to find a good psychologist to work with. IF your anxiety and depression medication is being prescribed by your family doctor find a Board Certified Psychiatrist to medicate you. The type of depression you most likely suffer from is generally caused by a lack of a hormone secreted into the brain. You're not crazy but because the hormone is secreted into the brain by training the psychiatrist is the better medical doctor to prescribe medication.

So I like this guy that goes to my college who is a lot older than me I am 27 and he is 40. Would it make me look desperate if I asked him for his number?

I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask this question off. I am old enough to be your father and he is old enough to be your older brother.

TO answer your question: He may be flattered or he could be disinterested. As for being desperate I don't think so your asking for his number should just mean what it is meant to meant to mean. Please read on.

As your father I might question the virtue of what appears to be a May December infatuation. You can't call it a romance as you haven't met. On the other hand do you feel he would be open to dating someone so much younger than himself.

Factually age is but a number to record the years you spend on this earth. IT really has no other meaning then that. It is we that put meaning into the number especially when there is such a large cap between ages of two people.

Personally I do not have a problem with the age difference though I'm sure some others will friend of both your and his. Before you ask for his number think about what this age difference means in terms of what life with him would be like. You are young and most likely still like to party. He and his friends have done the party scene and now are more settled. A nice evening may be dinner at a friends house and a game of cards.

Hi! Is it really normal for a woman to loose her virginity without bleeding?

Short answer to your question is YES

Why this is possible are many. A woman bleeds during her first sexual penetration because her Hymen is torn away from the vaginal or is torn when penetrated by the male penis. Todays active female may not have her Hymen in tact when she has her first sexual penetration by a penis.

You may be asking yourself how did I lose it or tear it. Do you use tampons? Most likely when inserting the tampon instead of going through the hole that allows blood to drain you broke or tore your Hymen. This is most common and you may not have noticed as most girls experience some pain with first tampon usage.

If you are one of today's more active females. Bike and horseback riding can cause your Hyman to dislodge. Athletics specifically certain types of gymnastics will most certainly cause a Hyman to dislodge.

The fact that you may not have a Hymen to rupture upon first penile penetration does not mean you are not a virgin or were not a virgin. Today's definition of virgin is: Anyone male or female that has not had penis to vagina penetration. As long as you had never been penetrated by a penis before then you were a virgin until then.

what is analingas

analingas is an oral and anal sex act where one person stimulates the anus of another person by the use of their mouth, including lips, tongue, or teeth. It is also referred to as anal–oral contact and anal–oral sex, or colloquially as rimming or a rim job, and may be performed by or on people of any sexual orientation for personal pleasure or as a form of erotic humiliation.

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