|
I have a major insecurity with my outer appearance.
Hi there! So I am dealing with a crazy insecurity with my outer appearance. Truthfully, I want advice on how to see myself as beautiful or how to focus wholly on my personality (because I think my personality is nearly flawless, but I will admit I could always improve).
Everyone says I don't look "average beautiful," instead I look "uniquely and weirdly beautiful."
Is that a compliment, or should I be offended?
I mean, I like the idea of being "uniquely beautiful," but I still don't know what's better - "uniquely" or "average?"
I'm so sorry, I must sound conceited because I probably sound overly obsessed with how I look. But everywhere I go, it seems everyone only cares about how someone looks on the outside, which is most likely why I care about mine so much.
Anyone have any advice, please?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I have to say, your presentation and analysis of the situation was awesome. No real emotions, just facts and information. Then inquiry. That's kinda how I operate.
My advice to you (based on books I've read) is that worrying about what others think about us, is something one shouldn't do. Its just speculation on your part.
And that's the point. Its really about what YOU believe. And what YOU think about yourself. I'd take "uniquely handsome" any day. I absolutely should not take that as an insult. My outer appearance is not brad pitt, but I've always known that. What's nice is that someone appreciates my true self. Without having to be hotter or whatever.
In life, you'll learn to appreciate genuine people and appreciate them even if they're not the most "suave". I'm 36 and the people who stuck around, the ones I like the most are the ones I can be myself with. In my opinion, that's how life should be. People judged based on their character and personality not their looks. Imagine that!
In conclusion: The more you think about something, the more it's power grows. If, like you said "have a major insecurity problem" if you keep thinking and thinking the thoughts that make you feel insecure "too skinny, too fat, too this, too that" and the big one. "Not good enough" in "this department" or "that department." Its all in our heads. Life is school and sometimes its Effed up. We must learn from our experiences and surmount our self indulged insecurities. That's part of the lesson. (and yes lessons sometimes suck.)
Who are your heroes? I bet they're not models. We gotta be who we gotta be. Those are my heroes at least. People who surmounted their self-perceived shortcomings are heroes and pretty amazing.
Anyway, I gotta go to sleep. I hope I helped you in some way. Looks aren't everything and that's a really shallow perspective to have in life. Be happy with what you got and appreciate it. Nobody is perfect. We're just human.
]
The thing about appearance is it is designed to attract and is really only skin deep. A person's real beauty is their inner beauty or as you stated their personality.
Take sexual attraction for example. Sex will only take a relationship so far then one day you wake up and find you have nothing in common and even the sex has grown stale.
From where I sit who cares if they find your beauty average or uniquely and weirdly beautiful. I would say however they describe you they find you attractive and pleasing to be with. Concentrate on that and your inner beauty.
The girl I married some 45 years ago I actually met in an elevator. We worked for the same Airline. She worked downtown in the res center and I worked at the airport. I had to go to the res center for training . For several months prior she and I spoke on the phone between flights. It was love at first site for both of us because we had established a relationship that was beyond the physical before meeting. Six months after our elevator ride we married.
Focusing on the outer beauty is not so much conceited as it is shallow. Work on developing your interpersonal skills that allow the real you to shine through. This is where the real beauty of you shines through.
]
More Questions: |