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I'm crazy stressed out about my future. It's affecting my mental health.
19/female.
This has been going on for months. I've had a horrible past where I did absolutely nothing because I was so certain I was going to end up committing suicide. I went through that for years. But now I actually want to get my life together and have a bright future.
But I need advice BADLY!
I'm deathly afraid of my future. I've tried working before, but I just couldn't do it. Like I continuously had major anxiety attacks and was fired because of them. I just couldn't work for the life of me. And I'm about to apply for a position at Goodwill and I'm scared out of my mind that I'm going to have anxiety attacks and be fired from that job too! My dream is to be a senior caregiver though. I'm afraid that I'm literally not able to work and have to live off of disability, but I desperately don't want to do that - I want to work more than anyone could ever imagine. My dream is to work everyday, literally everyday for hours at a time.
I can drive now, but only have my learner's, but I'm afraid of parking. I can't park to save my life unless it's not near any cars. Parking near cars puts my mind into panic mode and it's scary!
And I'm stressed about bills, because my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together sometime next summer and I am afraid I won't pay the bills properly.
And what's making me upset as hell now is he's ALWAYS talking about driving to work and doing errands and all of this. And it depresses me because NO ONE knows how badly I want to work, but I am mega scared I won't ever be able to work.
I do take meds for my depression and anxiety, but nothing works to the point where I don't have anxiety attacks.
I'm crying my eyes out now, because I want to have a good future with my boyfriend... I just want to work, but what if I can't? I'd be depressed the rest of my life.
Advice, support and encouragement would be VERY helpful right now.
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Hi love, SO it sounds like you have things going in the right direction. I know panic attacks are hard to deal with but you need to find the right way to deal with it during that time. Legally your boss is not suppose to fire you due to a mental illness I believe. I work at a outpatient mental office and sometimes the clinicians can send letters saying so and so cannot attended work this week for this reason. Which im sure if you go see your doctor or if you go see a counselor im sure that would help. You also need to tell who ever is prescribing the meds to you that they are not working. Its important because different meds act differently on every person you know? Just think you have a guy who loves you and wants to move in with you. Your applying to a really good job and you have set goals. For me when I have an anxiety attack I usually go in the bathroom and breathe for a couple mins and you just have to give yourself a self boost talk like im great this is fine. Tomorrow is a new day and I love my job I am going to get through this. For moving in with your boyfriend, you don't need to be stressed over bills or anything when you don't have anything due. Just take it day by day. I hope things get better for you just stay positive and keep happy thoughts and goals. Award yourself with something when you overcome something.
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There are a lot of reasons why people have anxiety problems. One of the reasons among them is over thinking the problems. From what I'm reading here this is one of your problems.
Goodwill Industries may be a good place for you to work and build confidence in yourself, another of the reasons for anxiety. Goodwill is a different kind of employer as the can and will make allowances for disabilities if you make them aware of them. They specialize in giving jobs to those with all types of disabilities and anxiety is a disability.
You say your on medication. Medication does not always solved the whole problem especially for someone like you who may over think things. I believe you need to work with a psychologist to get at the reason for your anxiety. There is something deep seated that triggers these attacks. A psychologist through talk therapy will help you find the reason then help you deal with it in a better manner than having an anxiety attack and the depression that goes with it.
As I found out, depression causes pain, pain causes stress and anxiety which causes depression and the whole cycle continues. TO break this cycle you need to find what started the cycle. Once you do the cycle can be stop because you will learn to deal with the problem in a better way.
My suggestion therefore is to find a good psychologist to work with. IF your anxiety and depression medication is being prescribed by your family doctor find a Board Certified Psychiatrist to medicate you. The type of depression you most likely suffer from is generally caused by a lack of a hormone secreted into the brain. You're not crazy but because the hormone is secreted into the brain by training the psychiatrist is the better medical doctor to prescribe medication.
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