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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
My husband's 85 year old mother is solely dependent on my husband for support. She has lived separately but due to the onset of severe Alzheimer and her mounting maintenance costs, it is no longer affordable by my husband. I have agreed to take a loan in order to expand our home and allow her to live with us.
I am however stressed by my husband's announcement that he intends to move all of MIL's furniture in to our home despite being unable to accomodate them. I feel exploited by having to take a loan to ease my husband's financial burden but yet he is willing to impose further stress on me. I must say that I reluctantly agreed as my husband is her only child but she has been a very vulgar and rude woman in the over 10 yrs I have known her and now I will also have to deal with her behavioural issues associated with her illness.
Please suggest how to deal with this pending crisis before I end up divorced!
A friend of mine was in a similar situation as you find yourself in. They were able to find a nursing home that would care for a patient with Alzheimer's working with Medicaid and the patients Social Security income.
Lets face the facts that a nursing home is usually the choice of last resort as no child wants to put a parent into a nursing home. Fact is though that sometimes it is the only choice. As is the case with an Alzheimer's patient. A patient with severe Alzheimer's need constant 24/7 attention to keep them safe. They tend to wander and do things that can hurt themselves and others.
I understand your husbands desire to care for his mother, fact is he will be doing her more harm than good by bring her into your home. If you have not already moved your MIL into your home please look at the following two links provided. If you have moved your MIL into your home still look at the links as you and your husband may wish to reconsider your decision.
Therapy will help with the decision that needs to be made. I understand your husbands desire to take care of his mother. He needs to understand that buy bring his mother into his home he may do her more harm than good.
http://www.helpguide.org/elder/alzheimers_disease_dementias_caring_caregivers.htm
http://www.ehow.com/about_4695157_nursing-care-alzheimers.html
I had my baby girl about 4 months ago. I didn't have any tearing or anything that they found. However, she was stuck under the pelvic bone for several hours, resulting in 3.5 hrs of pushing. I am trying to find out what can be wrong ...it is still a SEVERELY painful thing for my husband and I to try and have sex. It's making my self esteem horrible and me upset knowing that we can 't or if we do it's painful. It almost feels like the underside of the inside just inside is bruised or damaged..I get horrid pains when it hits that area, it feels like its smaller and hitting something now...which doesn't make sense..you'd think it would be quite the opposite. Also, that skin that is at the back/bottom of the vagina (before the perineum) is extremely sensitive...Can something be wrong?
As voiceofreason wrote this is a question that only your OB/GYN can answer. I suggest you make an appointment with the doctor as soon as you can. Until then refrain from intercourse until you see your doctor.
I'm sure you want to care for your husbands sexual needs as well as your own. Fact is neither of you can be having any type of satisfactory intercourse if it is painful for you. I'm sure if you two have been married long enough to have a baby you can figure out other way to handle your sexual needs until you see your doctor and find out what the problem is.
Fact is there is nothing strange about your situation. Your doctor examined and treated that which he/she could see after delivering your baby. If there were going to be any other unforeseen problems, such as you are now experiencing, those would have to be treated when you reported them.
This is your body, your doctor is trained to care for you and your body. There is nothing you can tell your doctor that should embarrass you or your doctor. You have told complete strangers some fairly intimate details why would you be embarrassed to tell your doctor.
Once you get the all clear from your doctor, if it is affordable, do as voice of reason said and have an escape weekend. If it is not affordable ask one of your parents to take the baby for the weekend anyway and spend the weekend at home, just the two of you, relaxing and doing what comes natural.
how do I stop hurting cause my husband is looking at naked younger women on his laptop.
All I can say to you is what my wife said to me when we first married. "I can look at the menu but I better not reorder or sample the menu"
I'm not saying you should not feel hurt by this. Your feelings are your feelings. What I am saying is that as long as your husband is only looking at pictures he has not done anything wrong. Back in the day, as the saying goes, men had to rely on magazines such as Hustler and playboy to look at nude women. Playboy magazine was found in most homes as much as was sports illustrated. Today the computer brings pornography into the home on a far easier and less intrusive bases than ever before.
You are probably saying to yourself something to the effect; why does he have to look at nude women on the web when he has me at home that he can see and touch me naked? This is very true. People also have art at home yet they still go to museums to see more art. Not exactly the best example but I think you can get my meaning.
The fact that you have written us tells me you have not asked your husband why he is looking at nude women on his computer. There may be a very simple and acceptable answer if you ask him.
My advise; If you have not already done so ask your husband why? If he asks why you are asking? Tell him you find it hurtful that he is and would like to understand why he fells the need to do so?
Communication is key to everything we do, especially in a marriage. I cannot tell you why your husband does something, I can only say why I do somethings. If I do something my wife doesn't care for she says something. We discuss it and come to a solution. It works both ways and is far better than either one of us sitting there stewing about it and having hurt feelings towards the other. So talk to your husband and find out why while letting him know how you feel.
Hi, I'm a twelve year old girl going into 7th grade. I feel that I am misunderstood at school. If you looked up the word "nerd" in a dictionary, you would find a picture of me- tall, skinny, braces, zits, oily hair. I feel that I am hated because I know too much and everyone thinks I'm ugly. Is it normal that I don't have a boyfriend? All the girls at school have been dating and kissing and...doing OTHER things with boys since 5th grade. Do people just naturally hate know-it-alls? I mean, I don't rub it in. Please help I want to make seventh grade a better year :(
First of all let me say I can't stand the words Nerd or bookworm. There is nothing wrong with being the smartest person in the class. Those that call someone nerd or bookworm are either just plain lazy or jealous of your ability to take in what is being taught. Never be ashamed to learn something.
Your twelve years old; you are just beginning to go through puberty. Your body and features are going to change for the next six years. The braces will come off, your body will adjust to the hormones now racing through it and you will find away to deal with your oily hair. From the ugly duckling will emerge a beautiful swan.
Relax, give yourself time to become the women and person you are meant to be. You are only twelve; next year you will look back on this letter and laugh you will have changed so much and the year after that and the year after that. When the braces come off you'll have a beautiful smile to add to the beautiful person you have become.
You'll have to trust me on this one. I've watched my two nieces grow into beautiful young women who at twelve could have written your letter. Give your body the time it needs to mature as it is intended to. Exercise and eat properly and talk to a hair stylist about proper hair care for oily hair.
Most importantly though, continue to drink in all the education you can get. In the world we live in looks will only get you so far. Knowledge and education will take you as far as you wish to go.
Hello :) I have taken test that determines mental disorders and I resulted to be OC and vave an ADD. Also, I also think likewise. Help please? :) Where can I get help? How cam I overcome this?
I'm not sure what kind of test you can take that will accurately diagnose the disorders you mention. There are probably certain questions that could be asked of a person that could point to someone suffering these disorders but only a trained psychiatrist can make a proper diagnosis and treat you.
I believe what you are saying is you may have completed a questionnaire, the results of which say you might be suffering from this disorders. If so you need to schedule an appointment first with you family doctor for a complete physical. Why? Because the psychiatrist is going to ask for one anyway to rule out any physical problems.
You should explain to your family doctor as to why you are requesting a physical so that your doctor can either test you him or herself for these disorders and treat you, or recommend a psychiatrist to work with.
Hopefully you are only symptomatic of the of this disorder. OCD in its fullest form is not a fun thing to deal with and will take a lot of hard work with a trained therapist to concur. Make an appointment to see your family doctor and go from there.
So my mother has been struggling with depression ever since I could remember. I've always been pretty sympathetic about it because I have struggled with depression at one point in my life, but thankfully I have over came it. I always ask my mother why she is sad and she never has a straight answer. I can only imagine why she is unhappy. She works at a waitress at a crappy job, she has absolutely no money, tons of debt, and she is currently the head of her pitty party. She has never really had a charmed life, but she always provided for me and my sister. I am 20 years old and my sister is 21 and we are trying to start our lives and move out. My mother is not too happy about it. She wants us to help her pay for bills and when working a minimum wage job 30 hours or less a week, there isn't a lot of money to give and not a lot of money to keep for myself. I really want to move out but my mom makes me feel terrible for leaving her. She is 57 years old and expects me to take care of her. She tells me that she has taken care of me my whole life and now it is time for me to take care of her. Mind you, I have two older sisters in their late 30s who are more than financially stable and are not willing to help her. I am only 20 years old! I should not be the one who has to support her. I love my mother more than anything in the world and that is why it is going to be hard for me to leave her. I give her all of my money and do everything I can to make her happy. My 21 year old sister doesn't care to help pay the bills but she thinks she can live in our house and not do a thing. She is moving out and my mom doesn't care because she knows she has me still. I don't want her to depend on me and I need some help. My sisters refuse to help us and I just need to get out of this situation. Should I leave and get on with my life or should I stay and struggle to make ends meat to try to make my mother happy? I just don't know what to do. If i left and something happened to her, I would feel terrible but staying home is holding me back and bringing me back into my depression. I don't want her to be unhappy, but i also do not want to be unhappy. What should i do?
I'm a parent with a son about the age of your older sisters. I have always believed in the American Indians belief that it takes an entire village to raise a child.
What that means is that the parents, house, cloth and feed a child; the village instills morals and values in a child. The village asks nothing in return from the child other than they become valued members of the village. A parent should not expect anything in return from a child either.
Your mother did her job in raising you properly, helping you get what was yours from the village offerings; schooling and other things. This is what is expected of her by the village(society).
Your mother is wrong to ask you to pay off any debts she has brought upon herself just because you are her daughter. You have a right to live your own life; which is what the village expects of you, which is to live and prosper. If you are able to and you wish to assist your mother in paying off her bills; that is totally your choice.
My advice is to do as you wish and moved out of your mothers home. If that means you must stop assisting your mother with her debt, then stop. To continue as you are you will only cause you to relapse into depression and become an enabler to your mother.
So, you're a guy right? (If not, I am so sorry!!)
How do I get guys to like me? What do they like when girls flirt with each other?
Yes, I am a guy but one probably old enough to be your grandfather. I think you would get a more tiely answer froma younger adviser.
Me and my girlfriend had pure foreplay , I gave her blowJob , there was no intercourse , can she in any case become pregnant? Her periods are delayed what can be the reason for it ?
For a women to get pregnant semen has to enter the vagina. Unless you had semen on your fingers, lips or tongue. From what you have disclosed, I can see no way that she could get pregnant from what you describe.
Hi,
I have a keloid, the size of a dime, on my chest, slightly to the right. It's raised & pink, so it's hard to hide. So far I've been placing large necklaces over it so that it's hidden.
Any advice as to how I can hide it better? Or at least some websites with huge necklaces? (preferably fashionable) lol.
Thanks!
I don't have an answer for your question. I also don't know how old you are so I'm not sure if you will need to discuss the following with you parents. Which is not a bad idea whatever your age is.
The following is what I found while researching information on Keloids:
Exams and Tests
Diagnosis is based on the appearance of the skin or scar. A skin biopsy may be needed to rule out other skin growths (tumors).
Treatment
Keloids often do not need treatment. They may be reduced in size by:
Corticosteroid injections
External pressure
Freezing (cryotherapy)
Laser treatments
Radiation
Surgical removal
If you are sure you have a Keloid I would suggest seeing a dermatologist or a plastic surgeon for treatment or removal. Only the doctors can tell you if this will be covered in anyway by any insurance you may have.
okay im 24 with 4 kids and i have a boyfriend who treats me like crap. he doesnt help me with the kids he stays out all night and im up crying waiting for him to come home the most hes been gone for is 7 days he didnt call or check up.to make things worse is were currently staying in a 1 bedroom motel suite.He come and goes calls me names and stresses me out.He spends my money all the time he even spent my cristmas money i had saved up for my kids.im tired i want better for me and my kids he rather be at the casino then to be with us.I want to leave him so baddd but i cant cus i have no where to go.I have family but there not there for me im a good mother and want to be happy,i deserve it. he didnt even tell me happy mothers day nothing.he has no respect for me at all.im always with my kids an he running the streets.Help
I'm not going to be quite as harsh as Matt but I do agree with him in what his basic thoughts are. You are in control of your life. You brought 4 children into this world. You need to take responsibility for those children. They did not ask to come into this world you brought them into this world. There are and where way to prevent pregnancy you chose to ignore them.
There is help for women with children through social service to force the fathers of the children to be responsible for the children You too have to take your share of the responsibility as well. It starts with making out the proper reports. If he steal from you file a police report. If he hits you file a police report. If he abuses the children in any way file a police report.
Contact social services, ask them for help in obtaining the proper legal paperwork so that you have legal custodial custody of the children. From what you have written you do not have legal custody and he could take the children and leave the country with them if he pleased. You also need legal agreements outlining his legal responsibilities to the children.
These are the adult actions you need to take to protect your children. Maybe when you start acting like an adult, which also begins with walking away from you BF, your parents will start treating you like an adult.
There is one other thing you can think about. I don't know if your parent or his are able to do this though you can ask. If one or the other will take temporary custodial custody of the children while you get your act together. By this I mean if you need to get a GED then you need the time to get it. If you need time to complete College then do so. You need a good education to support four children. Trying to do so and raise and care for 4 children may be impossible. By asking either yours or his parents to take temporary custodial custody will give you the opportunity to get the education you need.
Hello This is embarrassing but yeah, My Name is Amie friends call me 'Me me' because it's my nic-name but it's cute yeah.
I'm 13 and I finger myself I use 2 fingers and I go deep, I have a boyfriend who has fisted my vagina in the past and it hurts sometimes, I also have been... raped but I didn't tell my parents and it wasn't serious but I'll just tell you so you might be-able to tell me whether I could be infected or not.
Here goes what happened:
I was walking near a park it's in a forest and I was going home from a friends house at 9PM it was quite dark and I got to near the main road on a quiet street when I was pulled through a bush and fucked...
Can anybody Help me?
First, rape is always serious. Fortunately you were not seriously hurt. The next girl may not be so lucky.
Whether you know your attacker or not you need to report this rape to the police.
You need to be checked by a doctor to make sure you are not pregnant and have not contracted any diseases.
Depending on how long ago you were raped there may still be a chance for the hospital to collect forensic evidence.
My advice is: Tell you parent immediately what has happened to you. Have them call the police immediately. After you have spoken to the police have them call a rape crisis center for you to speak with.
You need to do this for yourself and for future victims.
what kind of sexual transmitted disease could a man get by getting a blow job
Having unprotected oral sex (giving a blow job without a condom) is risky. Some of the disease that can be transmitted through oral sex if your partner is infected include herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis. The risk of HIV transmission through oral sex is still undetermined. Some experts say there is little to no risk of getting HIV through fellatio, while some say there is possible risk, especially if there are cuts or sores in the mouth of the person performing oral sex.
Because most of the STDs mentioned are transmitted through contact with sores or lesions on the genitals, or are present in the pre-ejaculate fluid (precum), a person performing unprotected oral sex on an infected partner has already been exposed even before their partner ejaculates. If your partner cums in your mouth, you may be exposed to additional quantities of STD pathogens in the semen, which can infect you through the mucous membranes in your mouth and throat or through small cuts or scrapes on the inside of the mouth.
The above information was taken directly from the website for which I have supplied a link to below.
For more information go to this website: http://www.dontspitswallow.com/cum_safety.shtml
I am having trouble trusting people in intimate love relationships. It stems back as far as I can remember. I was able to conquer it many years ago...I made up my mind to trust, but it ended up biting me in the ass. I trusted the most untrust worthy person in the world. I am now HIV+. It turns out EVERYTHING that came out of his mouth was a lie. After that I dated people, but never stayed with anyone who could hurt me i.e. anyone I loved. A few months ago I met an amazing guy. For the most part he seems to be honest and giving. We did have an incident in which I caught him in a lie. He recieved a text from an EX. He says the ex keeps texting and he has not replied. He knows I would get stressed for know reason. He lied to protect me because we were about to leave on vacation together. He offered to change his number and give me his phone for several days. I did not take him up on his offer because I do not want to be that kind of person. As far as he knows I have let the issue go. SOmetimes I have anxiety about whether or not he is lying or sneaking around. When I am not having anxiety I believe him, but I have moments where I feel like I know he is lying. I also should point out that he has given me his house key. He leaves his phone out all the time..I don't check it, but I could. I really try to avoid looking for things to upset me. I am trying so hard to relax and trust, but I am not sure how. I do not know the difference between my gut and paranoia. With the guy who got me sick, I always felt he was lying (but I did not want to be insecure and needy so I did not act on it). If anyone can offer advice I would be in your debt. Thanks!!!!
Wow, you have been dealt a cruel hand all because someone was not honest with you.
My feeling is it is not you that needs to learn to trust people, rather people need to earn your trust and respect. As I said you were dealt a cruel hand you therefore have every right to be suspicious of people.
Once you have explained to your future BFs of your HIV status and how you came by it. They should understand that you are going to be more untrusting of men than the next girl. I see nothing wrong with this as you are protecting yourself. You have already been hurt, nobody likes being hurt the first time let alone a second or third time. If a guy understands this then he will understand that if he wants to get to know you he is going to have to earn your trust and respect.
To me this is the answer to your question, not you learning to trust. Yes, in some situation the trust factor is on you, in situations of romance I feel the trust situation is on the guy, after you have told him of your HIV status.
As for trusting other people such as the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. I think that trust is there within you; you are just being overly cautious at this time. This is okay too, especially if your HIV status is recently discovered. I fell as you come to grips with that you will start trusting the other people you have to deal with on a day to day basis. Romantically though; you have every right to ask or wait for guys to earn your trust.
Is it harmful to swallow semen?
My wife is concerned about health issues.
According to the website I am going to give you the link for; swallowing the sperm itself is safe.
"First the Good News
Cum is an all-natural bodily fluid that doesn't harbor any diseases or harmful bacteria in a healthy person. The purpose of semen is to transport sperm to the female ova, and it is a high-protein, nutrient-rich medium designed to support and sustain the spermatozoa during their relatively brief journey. The sperm themselves also present no threat in the digestive tract, and are neutralized by gastric fluids by the time they reach the stomach."
"The Not-so Good News
The sort of good news is that swallowing your partner's cum will not put you at any greater risk for catching an STD. The flip side is that if your partner does have an STD, by the time you've had unprotected oral sex with them, whether you swallow or not, you've been exposed to whatever they're carrying."
What I have posted above are excerpts from the link I am providing below. I suggest you and your wife read the rest together. Whatever concerns she has should be answered by this article.
http://www.dontspitswallow.com/cum_safety.shtml
a few days ago i got fingered for the first time by my friend with benefits, and it hurt!.
but after that, i went to the washroom and this red-ish/brown discharge came out. did my hymen break or is it an infection?
None of us are doctors and it is hard to make a diagnostic decision over the web if we were doctors.
Most likely it is not an infection as infections take time to set in. Your friend with benefits either broke you hymen or tore it a bit. If the discharge continues for more than a day or two it is best to check with a doctor.
now this isn't as scary as it seems i'm 22 and my bf is 25 so we are both adults. we just found out we are expecting. its a bit of a surprise but we are very excited. there is only one problem my family. i'm sure his family will be okay with it but our familys are very different. his family are very close while mine is not. since we are not married i'm scared that my parents will be upset with us even cause a fight. i'm very emotional about it and my bf keeps telling me to calm down since the stress isn't good for the baby. i'm scared and really have no one to ask about this sice only my bf and i know about the baby right now. i'm really nervous any advice on how to break the news to my parents without tears being involved. some extra information my bf and i live together for 8 months and been together for more than a year. thank you
I'm a parent and while my son is a little older than you I'm probably not that much older than your parents. I'm not old fashion either; my wife and I lived together before we were married and had a sex life before we moved in together. I tell you all this because it is quite possible your parents are and were not unlike me and my wife when they were our age.
As we get older and have children, especially girls, it is not that we were always old fashion; we become protective and seem old fashion. If you have a brother you might see a double standard, it would not be unusual.
As to how to tell your parents: At 22 you have every right to your own life, this includes a sex life. When you moved in with your BF I'm sure your parents did not expect it to be a platonic arrangement. As an old fireman, there is a saying where there is smoke there is fire. One could also say where there is sex there is always the possibility of pregnancy. Your parents may be, a little shocked even a little upset at first with the news but I seriously doubt they will be anything more them that. After all you are carrying their grandchild.
If I were you, and my wife and I did this even though we were married, I would take your parents out to a restaurant for lunch or dinner. In this way you can give them the news that they are about to become grandparents and if as you say they will be upset the fight you expect won't happen in a restaurant. This will give your parents time to digest and get use to idea you are pregnant and not married. It also gives you an opportunity to tell them of you and your BF future plans whatever they may be.
In essence you are forcing decorum on them for what is really joyous news. BY telling them in this manner you are forcing them to stay calm and to listen to you while they allow themselves to accept the idea.
Frankly I think your upset about nothing. I think you have very protective parents, who as I said probably will be very understanding once you tell them. Parents my age and younger have all lived in an age were we were at least acquainted to the way you are living and accepting of it when we where your age. So calm down as your BF says it is not good for the baby.
My kid's father has a screw or two loose. I left him in 2004 when he choked my daughter. He served one year probation and went to anger management. Now we have a new problem. My kids are 11, 13, and 14. Over the past few visits with their dad he has encouraged the kids to smoke and drink with him. When my 13 year old (very shy) girl said no, he held the cup of beer to her face and demanded she drink it. She said no and slapped it away. (just found this out today).He holds lit cigarettes and tries to get them to smoke it. I confronted him on it and he said IT WAS ALL TRUE!! A yelling match ensued and I asked him if he was insane. He replied, "no, they are my kids and i will give it to them".I told him that they were NOT raised this way and they do not want it..My husband and I do not smoke and rarely drink.He smokes in the car on hour long commutes with my son who has severe asthma, when i asked him not to, he said i cant control what he does. My kids are very quiet, well mannered straight A honor students. I have done very well with them and Can't believe what is going on. He has never been a great person but this is going WAY too far. I promise you this is not a case of a spurned spose trying to get back at the other, I am seriously worried. Why the hell would he want his young daughters to get drunk with him?? Should I go to the court, call childrens services, police? I told him I would have him arrested and his response was "Try Me". Dear lord..HELP =)
I believe this fall under the heading of child endangerment. If I am correct you should notify the police and child services and let them investigate the allegations. They are allegations until proven. They will have to speak with your children and decide for themselves the truthfulness of what you have written.
Once the police and child services have finished their investigation they can take appropriate action. If the police find substance to what the children are saying then I believe they can charge him with child abuse and child endangerment. Child services can I believe suspend his visitation or modify it to were he must be supervised, while you go to court to have visitation modified.
Your action starts with asking for help from the appropriate agencies. In this case you start with the police and ask them to help you with child services protection.
While the police and child services investigation is going on you should be talking with your divorce attorney as to when to return to court for custody modification. The question you need to ask is do you file for an emergency hearing or wait until the police and child services finish their investigations and see what actions they take.
It is not my place to take sides in this. My thoughts are for the children. If someone is doing something that will harm them; then you as a responsible parent must do everything you can to protect them.
my extended family ignores me at family parties. i dont know what i did
I agree with meep, you have not supplied enough information for us to offer any advice.
Look back and try to determine when this all started. Then try a think if there is anything that happened; like missing a family event for something the family may think was wrong of you to do so for. Even something like jury duty were they don't agree with the verdict could be the problem. You could also just ask a relative you have been close to in the past what you have done to be ostracized in this manner.
This is the best I can offer based on the little you have given us.
Okay I have a problem with my step son. I love him but he is out of control he is 7 almost 8.
Examples:
A large turtle showed up in my grandparents drive way so I hollared for him to come outside and see it. It was a snapping turtle but instead of moving it away out of the drive way he beat it until it died he blew its head off. rocks, bb's , sticks. No one could get him to stop. He also killed some birds the other day and he has no heart about what he did
My son is 4 and I cant get them to get along at all. If they are at my house they argue like brothers get along for the most part. I treat them equal I dont favor mine. They get along here other than the typical kid fighting.
At my mother in laws who has custdy of him ( we would but cant afford to take it to court and fight it. and they have a really good lawyer) he is awful like today. He keep spitting in my sons face and my mother in law would tell him to knock it off or she was going to take him to the house. He would do it again and she wouldnt do anything well my son spit back at him no he shouldnt have but I dont blame him. Well what happen was I watched him spit in my sons face again I walked over there I asked my son to go play by the grage where all the adults were sitting. I asked my step son to not spit in Jays face again. He bawled I didnt say it hateful or anything I just asked him to please stop. I told my mother in law what I had said to him. She said do you ever think jay should get in trouble because he is doing it to. I said Jay has never spit on a person in his life until (my step son) wouldnt quit spitting on him so no i dont feel like jay should get in trouble he should be told its wrong to spit on a person.
My grandfather in law said we need to quit blaming each other and bust both of their butts but I dont agree with that. Am I wrong for feeling this way and what else should I do about this. My step son is way out of control and my mother in law will not help the situation other than let him do what he wants. sorry this is long.
I am less concerned with the spitting and fighting than I am with your step-sons killing of innocent animals. This is abnormal behavior by any standards. It is actually a personality disorder probably a psychotic type of disorder.
There are no pills or surgery to fix personality disorders. Your step-son needs long term psychiatric care. Even with psychiatric care there is no guarantee his underlying personality will change.
I've just said a terrible thing about someone so young. Unfortunately history has shown that children that do as your step-son is doing turn out to be the Ted Bundy's of this world. This is not a behavior he will grow out of. He is not acting out his anger over the divorce. He needs help, the right kind of help and may even need to be institutionalized for his own good.
The best thing you can do for this child is to do your best to see that he gets the help he truly need and soon. If that requires you to contact child services then do so; it is for his own good.
i have a crush on this guy. He is 21 today and im 16.. my aunt already knew about what i feel about him.. what will i do.. because i really really have a crush on him.. and i dont know what to say or do... every time i text him, im acting like his "girlfriend" this is the first time that im having a crush on a dude who is 5 years older than me...
he is already a college graduate student and im a graduating student (grade 12).. and btw, i have this problems when it comes to my grades...
what should i do?
im from the philippines..
I don't know the laws in the Philippines so I really can't help you. Just in case you are living in the U S A I written what could happen if you and this young man were to get together. Mostly he would be in serious trouble with our legal system.
In most states you are below the age of consent. Meaning you can not legally consent to do anything with this boy without getting him in real trouble with the law. Just being with him places him in the position of charges of statutory rape. Sex does not have to happen just the fact that you two are together and he is that much older than you makes it possible for the police to charge him. He can also be charged with leading to the delinquency of a minor as well as several other charges. These are real charges that will follow him for the rest of his life. If you love him you will let him go before you ruin his life.
My advise: As you said this is a crush. Young women have them all the time. Find a boy closer to your own age and enjoy being a teenager and doing things teenagers do.