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I feel misunderstood...

Question Posted Thursday June 9 2011, 12:50 am

Hi, I'm a twelve year old girl going into 7th grade. I feel that I am misunderstood at school. If you looked up the word "nerd" in a dictionary, you would find a picture of me- tall, skinny, braces, zits, oily hair. I feel that I am hated because I know too much and everyone thinks I'm ugly. Is it normal that I don't have a boyfriend? All the girls at school have been dating and kissing and...doing OTHER things with boys since 5th grade. Do people just naturally hate know-it-alls? I mean, I don't rub it in. Please help I want to make seventh grade a better year :(

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adviceman49 answered Friday June 10 2011, 10:02 am:
First of all let me say I can't stand the words Nerd or bookworm. There is nothing wrong with being the smartest person in the class. Those that call someone nerd or bookworm are either just plain lazy or jealous of your ability to take in what is being taught. Never be ashamed to learn something.

Your twelve years old; you are just beginning to go through puberty. Your body and features are going to change for the next six years. The braces will come off, your body will adjust to the hormones now racing through it and you will find away to deal with your oily hair. From the ugly duckling will emerge a beautiful swan.

Relax, give yourself time to become the women and person you are meant to be. You are only twelve; next year you will look back on this letter and laugh you will have changed so much and the year after that and the year after that. When the braces come off you'll have a beautiful smile to add to the beautiful person you have become.

You'll have to trust me on this one. I've watched my two nieces grow into beautiful young women who at twelve could have written your letter. Give your body the time it needs to mature as it is intended to. Exercise and eat properly and talk to a hair stylist about proper hair care for oily hair.

Most importantly though, continue to drink in all the education you can get. In the world we live in looks will only get you so far. Knowledge and education will take you as far as you wish to go.

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xokristabelle answered Thursday June 9 2011, 4:48 pm:
Trust me, things will get better. I'm 20 now, but when I was your age I was the same way- literally everything you said, I had. (I was inches taller than all the boys, it sucked!) I can tell you that all the girls that are so pretty and popular now- when you're done with school and out in the real world, they are the 'losers'- their looks fade and their former popularity does them no good.

Most girls have an 'awkward phase', but I promise you it doesn't last forever. When you're a little older and the boys have grown, your height will be a good thing- most guys love tall girls/long legs. Being skinny is definitely a good thing- many women practically starve themselves to look like that. The braces will come off eventually, and the zits and oily hair are just hormonal things that will go away too.

I don't feel like I missed out in the least not having a boyfriend in middle school- guys are so immature at that age anyway. To have a better year, focus on what should matter- friends (there are probably other girls who feel the same as you), having fun, and school. If you don't have any after-school activities, why not try something you're interested in? Good way to meet friends, too. Anything from a sport, club, dance, drama, whatever you're into. If you need a self esteem boost, taking a few extra minutes every morning to get ready- putting on a cute outfit or some lip gloss or whatever- can help a lot. Only do it if you honestly want to, though.

And some tips-
For the oily hair, make sure you're shampooing with a clarifying shampoo every day- Suave makes a great, super cheap one that you can get at the drugstore, Walmart, or Target.
For zits, you need to cleanse and moisturize your face every morning and night using gentle products (Cetaphil is great) then try a salicylic acid product (Clean and Clear makes a great one in a silver tube) on problem areas to clear them up.

Best of luck and remember it gets better!
- Krista, 20/f

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