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Is he using me now or is he being genuine?
21/f Ryan 19/m
So me and Ryan used to have a "thing" back in October and lasted until January. It was a long story why we stopped talking, he basically was a jerk. Well then in March he chatted me on facebook asking how i was doing and then in April he asked if we could still be friends and that he was sorry for what he did to me and felt bad and hoped to see me in the summer.
Well I just turned 21 at the end of May. And Just last night I get a message from Ryan saying Hey, whats up? And i was like Ryan! I miss ya how have you been? And he was like I've been good I've just been on my boat a lot what have you been up to? And i was like yeah I've been on the lake a lot too but wow thanks for the invite on the boat haha and he replied... That's sweet. Didn't know you wanted the invite haha. What's your number again I got an iPhone. That's sweet your 21
So my real question is that I am a little skeptical that he is talking to me now that i'm 21 so I can get alcohol for him and his friends. He has a sister that's 22 but I'm not sure if she buys alcohol for them. It just made me think how random it kind of was how he said "That's sweet your 21" Do you think he's trying to use me? How will I be able to tell? I don't want to look like a fool!
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I have never came across a "jerk" that stopped being "a jerk." Depends, what kind too. Was he a jerk to you that you didn't like him or did he just do something childish and you think he's a jerk for that. Honestly, if you think he's a jerk 9 times out of 10 he really is.
Another thing, I've tried the whole dating younger guys and it hasn't worked out for me. You always hear about married people and the wife is younger but they are older and by that time the husband will be more mature. If he's a 19 year old boy, he's out to have fun.
Now, it could have just been a comment like "wow, you 21 now" in his head and he REALLY didn't mean it like you took it. I don't think he's using you for alcohol but if he brings it up just say "Oh, I don't drink." or "I don't want or feel like buying any."
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"Thats sweet" couldve just been a comment, not neccesarily him wanting to use you for alcohol.
See if the plans to hang out work, and if he asks you to bring alcohol right off the bat then thats a red flag. Say you just want to hang out the low of you and have it be low key. If he doesn't want to do that, then he's using you.
Good luck,
-Abby
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