AngelKMC65's advice column

askAngelKMC65

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: So I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and we just recently started having sex. I'm 17 and I've been on the pill since I was 15. We're both eachothers firsts and I just wanna know if I really can have sex without a condom. Like all doctors say always use a condom but they're so gross and the lube always burns me. We've both been tested so I really just wanna know if the pill really does mean I can have sex without one. Are there things I need to do? Only specific times during the pill cycle I can have sex without protection?

If you are on the pill regularly you are 99% protected against pregnancy and 0% protected against STD's.

Yes, you can have sex without a condom but think about the consequences beforehand.

If you are taking your pill as directed, you most likely have a very little chance of getting pregnant but there's still that small chance. I wouldn't play with fire.

The condom on the other hand protects against both STD's and pregnancies and using the pill with it makes your chances little to none.

There are different types of condoms. Have you tried several brands?

Q: I am an undergraduate in need of about 4,200 dollars by next month for my first semester. I don't have the credit history to apply for some private loans myself and my mom will not cosign me! I have done the federal aid so if you are making suggestions and you don't know what you're talking about please don't respond. I NEED HELP. Telling me to apply for HOPE grant, etc blah blah blah, will not help me. I need LOANS. What do I do? By the way, I have not asked someone in my school, whom knows what they're talking about, for help yet. I just really need my money and asap. If I can't get into to school this semester, my aspirations and dreams will be thrown down the drain. I've already paid for some fees and I've be rewarded with a 5,000 dollar grant but that is not enough. I need a loan I can pay may $100 a month until it's all paid off. Not having a cosigner really takes away my education I've been wanting to start. There's no hope. My parents made too much money last year and won't help with anything but the smaller finances. This year they're retired; and also I'm adopted so I guess that's what I get for being the step-child. Screw life.

Have you applied for a Federal Loan? This is the loan, I use and I really don't see why you wouldn't be able to get it. It's a loan given to students by the federal government. It is done by the FAFSA, so you would still need to fill that out even if you are not getting any grants.

Someone at your school will be able to help you and give you the exact steps for it.

EDIT// FYI, your question states you have tried to get a loan and you need a co-signer but With a Federal Loan you don't need a co-signer. You DID NOT mention ANYTHING about applying for a Federal Loan.

Q: I am under the age of 18 but my parents have agreed to let me have it done. Im just not sure about it. Will i regret it? I know how to care for a piercing like this so it heals correctly, but id like to know the pros and cons. When im older and theres a possibility i wont want it anymore, can i remove it? I just dont want this to be something i'll regret.

I'm pretty much for belly piercings as I want one myself.

I have heard that Belly Piercings close up very quickly but I think it may have to do with your body. I haven't worn earrings in almosy a year in my ears and the holes are still there.

Also, they make belly rings for pregnant woman. They're suppose to stretch or some are just longer. In case you were worried about that.

I really can't tell you if you will regret it. If you're worried about it wait a year or two and see if you still want it and by then you can just go and get it done without your parents.

Q: When a guy tells his friend that he thinks you are too innocent what does that even mean?
My guy friend was trying to hook me up with his friend, so we all went out and i asked my friend what he thought and he said, i was alright looking but was too innocent, what does that even mean? please help! and what do you recommend i do for the future?

By innocent, I think he meant, he didn't want to hurt you. He wanted sex from you and realized you're not that easy. I give you and him both kudos. Most guys would try anyway and he would probably hurt you more.

Sex is an emotional thing. But for "Easy Girl's" they're not as emotional about it as say an innocent girl would be.

In the future, continue to be yourself and not fall for guys looking for the easy girls.

Good luck!

Q: 21/f Ryan 19/m

So me and Ryan used to have a "thing" back in October and lasted until January. It was a long story why we stopped talking, he basically was a jerk. Well then in March he chatted me on facebook asking how i was doing and then in April he asked if we could still be friends and that he was sorry for what he did to me and felt bad and hoped to see me in the summer.

Well I just turned 21 at the end of May. And Just last night I get a message from Ryan saying Hey, whats up? And i was like Ryan! I miss ya how have you been? And he was like I've been good I've just been on my boat a lot what have you been up to? And i was like yeah I've been on the lake a lot too but wow thanks for the invite on the boat haha and he replied... That's sweet. Didn't know you wanted the invite haha. What's your number again I got an iPhone. That's sweet your 21

So my real question is that I am a little skeptical that he is talking to me now that i'm 21 so I can get alcohol for him and his friends. He has a sister that's 22 but I'm not sure if she buys alcohol for them. It just made me think how random it kind of was how he said "That's sweet your 21" Do you think he's trying to use me? How will I be able to tell? I don't want to look like a fool!

I have never came across a "jerk" that stopped being "a jerk." Depends, what kind too. Was he a jerk to you that you didn't like him or did he just do something childish and you think he's a jerk for that. Honestly, if you think he's a jerk 9 times out of 10 he really is.

Another thing, I've tried the whole dating younger guys and it hasn't worked out for me. You always hear about married people and the wife is younger but they are older and by that time the husband will be more mature. If he's a 19 year old boy, he's out to have fun.

Now, it could have just been a comment like "wow, you 21 now" in his head and he REALLY didn't mean it like you took it. I don't think he's using you for alcohol but if he brings it up just say "Oh, I don't drink." or "I don't want or feel like buying any."

Q: 19 female.
okay so i have been having yeast infections so much for the past year. the last one was back in febuary but i have another one now..what causes them? i don't know if it is because i do not have any calcium in my body? i dont like anything in dairy. is it from too much sex or foreplay? i just don't know what to do! i get them frequently and the feeling kills, ive been to the doctors like 3 times because i didnt know what was wrong with me and everytime it was a yeast infection. she told me to buy these things at CVS that i put in my vagina that is suppose to make it better. the times ive done that it burns but it always cures it. is there a pill somewhere i can take that will make it go away? i just need some advice :( thanks!

Are you on antibiotics? For some reason antibiotics cause yeast infections. I don't understand why but they do. Wearing white cotton underwear helps. I was wearing those cute spandex underwear and spandex traps the moisture which causes yeaster infections. Eating yogurt also helps against yeast infections. I know you said you don't like dairy but maybe you like yogurt? I don't like most dairy but I do have yogurt when I have a yeast infection.

If you have had more that 4 yeast infections in a year (I think?), you should go to your doctor and let him/her know. Just asking the doctor, "How come I keep getting these, is there any way to prevent them?" will help YOU a lot. Sometimes with doctor's you have to be your own doctor and make the real doctor do it's job.

I recently used "Miconazole Nitrate Vaginal Cream" Yes, it burns a little and I just applied it to the outside area for 3 days and my yeast infection was gone. It's also a generic brand of Monistat.

I cannot remember the name of the pill that I used but I'm pretty sure my doctor had to prescribe it to me.

I've used both the cream and the pill for yeast infections.

Q: I am 14 years old. I know for a fact i am not pregnant because i have never had sex before. I have missed my period the last 3 months. The longest ive ever missed it was 2 months. I have been stressed out latley and i do get nervouse when it does not come around. Could it be that i will never get it again and somethings wrong with me? i would rather not go to the doctor, i am very shy and do not like to talk about these things. Also the last time i got my period was the first time i used a tampon. Someone please help.

Your period WILL be irregular the first 1-3years. I had PMS symptoms for a year before my period then i waited like 3 months between each one in the first year. Your body has to get used to it and you body is just developing. IF you are stressing out because you didn't get your period, don't. You know you're not pregnant so no sweat there. I would definitely go to a doctor if you don't get it in another month or so. There could be a problem which you can't prevent or really do anything about.

Bright side. =] Right now, think how lucky you are to not have it. I absolutely hate my period and getting it. Treasure your time without it.

Putting a tampon in has nothing to do with not getting you period. Like, I said don't sweat it but do make a doctors appointment if you don't get it in another month.

Q: So, I'm 15, 5"4 and 140lbs.
I'm not really fat, but I'm definitely a little chubby. I want to work out, but I don't want my boobs to get smaller. I'm a 34C. If I work out and lose weight, are they going to get smaller?

Thanks.

I've heard most people say it's the first place to lose weight but when I was working out and lost stomach fat, I swear it all went to my boobs. I was a 36C and am now a 34D.

I think it depends on the person AND the kind of workout. Are you looking to lose a lot of weight or tone up and in the process lose weight?

I toned up my body and I think that was the difference.

Q: im 18/f and my boyfriend is 19/m

My mum has told me in the past, before i ever had a boyfriend, that she's aware that i'm at the age where ill start to get sexually active. I never had a boyfriend during high school or anything and never have done anything more then kissed a guy. She was proud of me for holding out on having sex and everything considering alot of my friends lost their virginity when they were 15-16.

My mum is the kind of person that makes alot of jokes about things, but its this jokes that are making things very awkward for me. In the past i wouldn't have minded cause i was single and she knew there was no one that i would be sleeping with. But now i have my very first boyfriend, and the things she says are really affecting me.Especially when i need to talk to her about being safe. When i first told her that the boy of my dreams took me to the lookout on a mountain overlooking the city and asked me out, the first thing she said was "he didn't knock you up or something did he?". She keeps making remarks about me and my boyfriend and it makes things awkward and its making me scared to have a very important talk with her. She lets me stay over his house and everything, and tells me she trusts me, but then she goes and asks my sister if im having sex with my boyfriend when i stay at his house, and when my sister said no, she sighed heavily and said she was so relieved.

My boyfriend and I, have talked about sex. We both want to wait a while and not rush into anything, as i'm still a virgin and he is willing to wait till i'm ready. He wants to make it special for me and told me that he can wait as long as needed, he also doesn't want to move too quickly. The thing is, we both think its a smart idea for me to go on the pill, so that we have protection for when that day comes. My body also needs a couple of months to adjust to the pill itself, and i dont think theres any harm in starting it now, so that i have that security. The thing is, i was meant to go on the pill a couple of months ago, before i even had a boyfriend, due to excruciating period pain. But i kept putting it off.

now im stuck in a very awkward situation. I feel like i cant talk to my mum about going on the pill and getting protected, so that when me and my boyfriend are ready, we will be safe. Most parents would appreciate their daughters confiding in them about sex and being responsible and making smart decision in regards to preventing pregnancy, but i cant seem to do that now knowing how much she doesn't want me to have sex etc etc. The thing is, when i do tell her, i want to let her know i wont be having sex anytime soon. I feel almost like the adult in this situation, as i want to be safe and she seems to make a joke out of anything. It hurts me when she assumes my boyfriend is careless and only after one thing, when she doesn't understand he's not like that and wouldn't force anything on me if i didn't want to do it.

I just wanted to say, I know what your thinking in a way. You are at that age where you can make the appointment and everything but you need your parents finanacially (which I totally understand!!). I don't have a job, but insurance doesn't pay for everything and it completely sucks. I have co-pays which is SOOO much better than not having insurance butttt I have no money and would have to ask my mom for more money and explain why. Not so easy... =/

And where I live the closest Planned Parenthood is 3 hours away...

Anyway, I think you need to talk to your mom. Tell her, "Mom, I want to ask about Birth Control. I don't want to have sex yet but I'd like to be protected"? Something maybe along the lines of that?

When I was in your pretty much exact situation, I had sex with a condom then went out and bought PlanB. (I saved up) Then, about a week later I just let it slip all casually and then my mom was like "Uhhhh let's make an appointment."

I felt bad for "hiding" it but what was done, was done and we couldn't change it. Basically, I told you what you SHOULD do and what I did.

Q: 2 days ago i was at my boyfriends house (we r both 18 and have been together for 2 years) and he was studying for some upcoming test. I was getting bored so I started talking to him asking him questions like "how is the studying going" etc. I didn't mean to get on his nerves and I didn't know I was annoying him. Then all of a sudden he just snapped saying "SHUT UP B****" and pinned me on the wall and was about to punch me but at the last second moved his hand and punched the wall instead leaving a hole in the wall.

I was scared and I felt the tears coming but I don't like him to see me cry so I told him "maybe I should leave so I dont interfere with his studying,and I didn't mean to make u mad." So I left and when I got home I just went to bed crying and like 15 minutes later he knocked on my door and was apologizing saying "he was just stressed out, I wasn't the reason why he got mad and he would never treat me like that and he was just really stressed and he loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me etc." he gave me flowers Chocolates and a stuffed bear and the apologizing went on for about 30 minutes and I did eventually forgive him because I feel that if I wasn't bothering him he wouldn't have done that and he's normally a very calm person. But now i'm so scared of him, I don't know why but now he just scares me and I'm always nervous around him. I don't know if I made the right choice forgiving him or if I made the wrong choice

I really don't think he meant it. Being stressed brings out the worst in people. Even people without anger issues. I think you should just wait until he's more relaxed.

When I'm stressed, I have hurt people (not really physically more emotionally) but once i'm relaxed everythings fine.

Firstly, Give him room. Secondly, once the test is over and he's relaxed tell him you're really sorry for interupting and didn't realize this test was that important.

One more thing, next time maybe ask him if he needs help? I know, I like someone to "study" me. Gets the studying over quicker and faster. Plus, it can be fun as long as you stay on topic. If he's not into that, just leave him alone. Go have girl time!

Q: I feel so alone I'm 15 f and I'm really not the most attractive girl my weight is a little above average and I can't control my zits but I've never had a boyfriend, my first kiss. And most of my friends and new friends have I get awkward when they talk about it I try to go away I cry a lot bc I had a chance with a 16 year old in the summer for my first kiss but I didn't take all the chances I had and we eventually just stopped talking and I've tried talking talking to him but I feel that he doesn't want to fall for me again bc eventually he just stop talking/texting me and he switched schools in half the year bc his grades weren't good enough:/ but he still goes to a local public school

Don't get discouraged! My first boyfriend was when I was 15 almost 16 years old. We lasted about 6 months. We barely saw each other and I kissed him only once!

It doesn't really matter but take my story for instance, it was awkward because we were both VERY young. In a couple years you won't even worry about having a boyfriend. Heck, your friends will be complaining and crying over broken hearts and you're just having fun being single.

You are still very young and being single young is a lot of fun! I absolutely love it! I have noticed guys get attracted when they see you having fun rather than trying to impress them.

Q: Okay so one day im scrolling through my friends wall and all of a sudden i see his thing that says "In a relationship with so and so" and that so and so is my friend, so i commented on it and his mom commented back saying "It has been like that and hes not even friends with this person on facebook there is a problem or something". so im trying to find out the problem on google and nothing came up. Heres the problem:
His facebook says he's in a relationship with so and so. And hes not even friends with her on facebook ... How could this possibly happend?

I had a similar problem. This "child" (he was 14) and he was friends with me on facebook and put me as a relationship. Thing was, I never accepted it and it acted like I did and was on his feed and everything but my relationship still said single.

It could just be an error. To fix it, alls he has to do is switch it to single or change it to whoever. But yeah, it's probably just an error. They happen ever so often. I wouldn't get tense about it.

Q: k so i like these two guys and last night i had a dream that they were both trying to take me away from the other and then they started fighting and i think it was over me. what does this mean?

It means, you fell asleep and remember your dream because you want that to happen. I absolutely LOVE dreaming. I look forward to it every night. I love having the feeling of sleeping next to Prince Charming or having two hott guys fight over me.

Honestly, it means nothing. These guys may fight over you but the chances are slim.

Q: I'm 17 and my friend is 18 and I told her I was pregnant and now she's scared and she started crying. She's threaten to kill me if I have a baby. What can I do to calm her down ?

Just give her time a space. It's kind of like when you first tell your parents your pregnant and they get mad and eventually (most) parents will calm down.

She's jealous. My best friend got pregnant at 17 and had a baby when she was 18. I got very jealous and mad. I never told her but I was and still am to this day. I'm a year older than my friend which didn't help either. In my case, I wanted to wait to have sex, and get married and have kids. You know the white picket fence American Dream kinda family. When my friend got pregnant, I was extremely jealous. I was older and more mature and I felt I should have the kid because of my responsibility.

I don't think she will kill you. She's just feeling jealousy right now and I think you should just give her some space.

I'm glad my friend didn't have an abortion or give her child away and whenever I see her kid. I love it! But on the inside I'm thinking "Mann, I want one!"

Once you have the baby, she will probably be buying clothes and toys and playing with it. I do, I love my friends kid even though I don't really like the idea of her having a child at 18. But it is what it is.

**So, I just realized the ages and everything. This whole this is probably the SAME exact thing going on as it was with my friend.**

I hope everything works out and good luck with your pregnancy!

Q: Hi, I am 16 years old and a female. I have a quirky style, I guess. I like bohomenian type things and vintage, lacey type things. I just got my 17 magazine yesterday and started reading it and the seco0nd I flipped too the picture (linked below) of Lucy Hale, I fell in love with this feather in her ear. So, I went to my local craft store, bought quirky looking feathers and then plain feathers and I put them on clasps and attatched them to a hoop earring. I apologize I do not have a picture of the one I made but it looks quite similar to Lucy's except different colors. I made the string dangly's like on hers. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I love it. I wore it to church today and alot of people loved it as well. So, my question is: Do you like the feather earring look? If I sold them, would you buy them? If I would like to sell them, how would I go about doing that on the internet (such as: are tehre websites that I can go to put pictures of mine on and have people purchase them on the internet)?

Be honest if you like them or not! Thanks!

http://www.disneydreaming.com/2011/05/17/lucy-hale-is-a-fan-of-country-music-and-taylor-swift/

Her's of course is a little long for my taste but I have seen much smaller ones sold at Claires. I like the ones at Calire's with one feather dangling, no longer than your shoulder. I think you should sell them at different lengths.

As for selling them, there is Etsy.com I did know another site but I can't think of it and it wasn't as known so Etsy would be your best bet.

Q: Cani have sex at 15?

In technical terms you can have sex physically at any age.

In most places the Age of Consent is 16. Do you think that really stops people? Nope.

Having sex at such a young age in my opinion is completely irresponsible. I'm not religious but I do believe it should be done with someone you truly love and want to be with for the rest of your life.

In High School, you won't find that special person. If you do, I would wait until you are completely out of High School. For some reason, this society that we are in, relationships=sex. Don't feel you have to have sex to "fit in." People may ask if youve ever been "laid" or anything and you know what? I tell them it's none of their business what I do or don't do.

You don't say if you are a boy or a girl. But if you are a boy, if she becomes pregnant, will you stay and be the father? I've seen this happen to sooo many young men, they have sex, get the girl pregnant, say they'll stay with her, and then eventually they never stick around. A child deserves to have a mother and father. If you are a female, take into account what I just mentioned above and do you really want to become pregnant? It's painful, yes there are glorified parts but there are also painful parts. Like giving birth to this child. It's sad to say, us females get all the pain.

Q: I had sex on May 6th and 7th (which happen to be right around when I am ovulating). I then had sex again on the 17th. However, the next day I took Plan B because I was worried about the night before. My period was supposed to start yesterday or today (may 25th) but I haven't gotten it yet. Do you think I am most likely pregnant from the beginning of the month, or is it more likely that the Plan B is throwing off my cycle? I am trying not to get stressed about the situation because I know how that can mess everything up also, but it's getting difficult to not freak out. Thank you!

You never said if you used a condom, so assuming you didn't. Having sex ALWAYS has a chance of being pregnant with or without protection. Some chances are slimmer and almost non-existent with proper protection.

Plan B, can and probably did mess with your period.

You could be pregnant from the beginning of the month because Plan B is best when used 72 hours after having sex.

If you did use a condom at the beginning of the month the real chance of you actually being pregnant is slim but if you didn't use one then you could be pregnant.

I can't tell of course but if you don't get your period in a week, take a pregnancy test.

Q: hi i want to know if ur bf kisses another girl should i brake up with him

I'm in the same boat as Zane. He should be with only YOU. If he likes/loves you, why would he kiss another girl? He clearly wants to explore other girls. Would I specifically call it cheating? I wouldn't. But I wouldn't stay with him because I also have zero-tolerance. As much as you say you'll forgive it. You probably won't. In little arguements it'll be brought up and made into a bigger arguement. Not worth my time.

Q: I am belimic and nobody absolutly nobody knows but the other day i was wearing a tight shirt and my aunt goes " oh my goodness sweetheart you have lost so much weight. You are eating right?" i anwsered yes because i am. She said it when it was only memand her and my mom doesnt notice anything. And i want to get help but i have no idea how to tell anybody. Even for people to try to see when i am at my house i always lift up my shirt and rub my ribs so people might see how skinny i have gotten. So please somebody help me tell my mom and i need you to say it clear and gentle because my mom doesnt take new things well. So please my life is on the line right now. Please

I'd really hate to be this rude but Anoerxia and Bulimia is a Disorder. A person who follows this "Strict Dieting" does not know what they are truly doing to themself. They also hide it very well. A person with an Eating Disorder covers their body because their perception of themself is fatness everywhere even when they are very skinny.

It seems like you are acting in this way for attention? I don't know for sure as I don't know exactly what you look like or how you are acting.

Now onto your question. I don't really know what you are going to say to your mother other than you're Anorexic but if you can't tell a close friend.

I am Anorexic. There is no cure for it. I will always have an Eating Disorder. I am eating now and much much healthier before I got help.

If you are sent to a Therapist he/she will ask you lots of questions.

The reason I believe you don't really have an Eating Disorder is because I tried using it as attention seeking. Then, I got nothing out of it and years and years later I began to develop huge problems. My advice to you is to ask yourself why are you doing this to yourself? Is it for attention? Do you have underlying emotions hiding? That's when my eating disorder really came about. I was hiding my emotions.

If you want ANY advice on this subject, I can give sooo much help and information. Message me anytime. =]

Q: I know the subject seems confusing, but I'm a person who's very shy but I'm outgoing around my closest friends, but I want to hang out with other people and still have them close to me, but the thing is I'm too shy and when I start to hang out with someone, I end up ignoring them because of my friends. So how do I start speaking up to a person to make them my friend? (too much "friend" in this subject)

Reading the other answers, mine is a bit different. I'm also more outgoing than shy so you may just disregard what I have to say. Anyway, I think going out to places like shopping and stuff alone is a great idea! Of course, I'd still go with my friends but sometimes I just like to get out by myself and have different social interaction. Also, when you do find some new friends or a friend. Hang out with them one-on-one first or with the new group. See how they're like. Are they like your old group of friends? Or are they totally different? Do you think your friends would like to have new friends too? If they do happen to like the same things as your old friends suggest that they meet your new friends. Some friends don't want to feel replaced. I mean, would you? Some groups of friends take it offensively when you make new friends. I really don't think you should ignore ANYONE because your friends don't like them.

I hope my advice helped and I hope you make new friends and keep them! I love meeting new people. It's sooo fun!