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i'm gonna have a baby... how do I tell my parents?
now this isn't as scary as it seems i'm 22 and my bf is 25 so we are both adults. we just found out we are expecting. its a bit of a surprise but we are very excited. there is only one problem my family. i'm sure his family will be okay with it but our familys are very different. his family are very close while mine is not. since we are not married i'm scared that my parents will be upset with us even cause a fight. i'm very emotional about it and my bf keeps telling me to calm down since the stress isn't good for the baby. i'm scared and really have no one to ask about this sice only my bf and i know about the baby right now. i'm really nervous any advice on how to break the news to my parents without tears being involved. some extra information my bf and i live together for 8 months and been together for more than a year. thank you
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Considering you two are adults, your parents shouldn't have to get mad at you. My advice to you is that you should just tell them...maybe in a cute way. For example, get a cute baby card, and put an ultrasound of your baby in it. That's how my parents did it for one my siblings. I hope things work out for you. Congratulations, and good luck!
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I'm a parent and while my son is a little older than you I'm probably not that much older than your parents. I'm not old fashion either; my wife and I lived together before we were married and had a sex life before we moved in together. I tell you all this because it is quite possible your parents are and were not unlike me and my wife when they were our age.
As we get older and have children, especially girls, it is not that we were always old fashion; we become protective and seem old fashion. If you have a brother you might see a double standard, it would not be unusual.
As to how to tell your parents: At 22 you have every right to your own life, this includes a sex life. When you moved in with your BF I'm sure your parents did not expect it to be a platonic arrangement. As an old fireman, there is a saying where there is smoke there is fire. One could also say where there is sex there is always the possibility of pregnancy. Your parents may be, a little shocked even a little upset at first with the news but I seriously doubt they will be anything more them that. After all you are carrying their grandchild.
If I were you, and my wife and I did this even though we were married, I would take your parents out to a restaurant for lunch or dinner. In this way you can give them the news that they are about to become grandparents and if as you say they will be upset the fight you expect won't happen in a restaurant. This will give your parents time to digest and get use to idea you are pregnant and not married. It also gives you an opportunity to tell them of you and your BF future plans whatever they may be.
In essence you are forcing decorum on them for what is really joyous news. BY telling them in this manner you are forcing them to stay calm and to listen to you while they allow themselves to accept the idea.
Frankly I think your upset about nothing. I think you have very protective parents, who as I said probably will be very understanding once you tell them. Parents my age and younger have all lived in an age were we were at least acquainted to the way you are living and accepting of it when we where your age. So calm down as your BF says it is not good for the baby.
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I think that your parents will be upset any way you say it. My mother in law said are you serious when I told her I was pregnant and We were about to be married in 2 months. She got over it quickly and if this is y our mothers first grand child shell want to spoil it just give it some time to settle down. Cook a dinner maybe invite your family over. Sit down and tell them that you just found out that you are expecting. Explain it wasnt planned but that the two of you are very happy about the situation and you wish they would support you.
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You and your boyfriend are both adults, Whom have been together for quiet awhile and lived together for over 6 months.
Personally, I really fail to see where things could possibly go wrong.
The person below me is correct, Sometimes there is no easy way to bring it up especially with someone who is old fashion and agrees with marriage before starting a family.
Now let me point you to reality as you probably already know..
It is 2011, Rarely anyone waits until they are 22 years old and have their own place. Hell, Half of the people out there today don't even wait a year into their relationship and here no matter what the circumstances turn out too be you and your boyfriend did the RIGHT thing. You waited until you were independent and on your own and nobody can take that away from you. Another thing hun, Is sometimes parents don't always agree with the choices their kids make but in the long run somewhere down the line they will come too terms and learn to accept that it is what it is. Your boyfriend is right, You need to relax and calm down. There are many people out there who are in worst situations as you. If you feel more comfortable you and your boyfriend can sit down and both discuss this with your parents. You are of legal age now where you can make your own choices, Nobody can force you to do something you don't want too. If you also need too you can find support groups where people will support you throughout the pregnancy.
Happy parenting and congratulations!
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The best thing to do is just tell them and get it over with.
You live with your boyfriend and the two of you are living your own lives. It's only natural to take it the next step. You are sharing an exciting time of your life with your parents. It's up to them how they choose to take it.
If you are happy about this, and your boyfriend is happy about this, nothing else should matter. You don't live with your parents. They don't support you, so they will not have to support your child either.
If you are excited about it, they will be more prone to excitement as well. If you act as if you've done something wrong or act upset it is only to be expected they will be upset as well. You are their child, and always will be. They want what's best for you and if you act upset they will be upset.
The sooner you tell them the sooner they can join in on this exciting time in your life. If they get upset, give them time. Once they meet their grandchild I guarentee they will sing a different tune! :D
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