about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now. We're not at what I would think is the age to get married. We're 20 and I've got a lot of school plans for myself before that happens. He has no interest in leaving and has said he wants kids in the future but my issue is that I feel that when the time comes that I feel like getting married, maybe in 3-5 years, then he won't find the need to. Are there men that want to get married for the sake of being married or do they do it because women want it? I feel like by then, 6-8 years of being together, he won't see the point.

The last part of your question sounds to me as if your saying your BF and others would be saying: "Why buy the cow if we are already getting the milk for free."


Fact is I can see your point in asking this question. My problem is if your question were really true of all men then marriage would have gone out style many decades ago.


I don't know your boyfriend so I cannot answer specifically for him. What I can do, being a member of the male sex is answer for myself and others that I know.


There are men, just as there are women, who do not see the point of marriage; after all it is just a piece of paper as they say. Fortunately there are still more men and women who believe that there is a sanctity and security in marriage that one does not have in just living together.


As to: "men marry purely for the sake of marriage" or "because the women want it:" I wish I knew the true answer. I married because I fell in love with my wife and I wanted to offer her the security that marriage offers. It is my feeling, emphasize my feeling, that most men marry for the same reason though I have no evidence to support this.


You write that he talks about wanting kids in the future. Relationships are all about communication. His desire to have children some day is a good place for dialog about your future together. The how when and with who does he see himself having those children. Ask him about his feelings on marriage. Why? It is important to you. If he has different feelings then you do then this may be a deal breaker for you. Would it be better to learn this now or 6 to 8 years from now.

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I'm 15 and I'm going into 10th grade I've been in high school for a year now and I go to a VERY small school...and everyone except for 3 people hate me because of one mistake I made 2 years ago. And I can't really apologize to someone because its everyone who hates me because of it. I don't want to go another 3 years with everyone hating me..I know there's always gonna be someone that hates me but I don't know what to do. I've always had very low self esteem and I've always thought I was really ugly and I don't know how to change it. I've gone to councilors and they haven't helped at all. I go in my room almost everyday I think about that mistake and I often cry about it.I don't know how to fix it and I don't know if I even can fix it!?!

Of the three answers that are before mine I like Rumleys' the best. Apologizing is probably the hardest thing anyone will ever do but it is the easiest way to correct a wrong.


Apologies are not always accepted by the person or persons you have hurt especially teenagers. You say you made a mistake but not what the mistake was or how it hurt all but 3 people. While I can speculate as to the what you may have done it is really immaterial for the purpose now.


If you are not aware of who you may have hurt the most it; is possible that your 3 friends may know who this is or who is saying they are the most hurt . Apologize to this person first. Your apology must be sincere if you want to have it accepted. Hopefully this person will accept your apology and will want to repair a friendship you may have once had or at least help you apologize to the rest of those who feel you hurt them.


I'm sure whatever it was you did or didn't do, it was not your intention to hurt anyone. I would think this would need to be part of your apology.


There is no reason you should feel the way you do. You made a mistake. We all make mistakes. Children and teenagers are very hard on one another when they make mistakes, do something they don't like or just don't fit in with their group. This is wrong, always has been and will continue to be. I wish I knew how to change it. The good news is these are high school friends not life long friends. You will all graduate and go your separate ways; probably never to see each other again.


You said you tried counseling without any good. I would hope you will try again. The key to counseling is finding a counselor you are comfortable with and can trust with your deepest secrets. At 15 you have medical confidentiality. Meaning whatever you say to your counselor can never be retold to anyone outside your counseling session without your written permission.


Please try counselling again with a counselor you trust. I think it will help you feel better about yourself and whatever you feel you have done to hurt these kids at school.

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Hi there,

You know better than to use petty, vindictive ratings here. You aren't a child, and there is no excuse for this.

Nobody said you knew he was from India. I was providing you with ADDITIONAL info, so that you could better serve the person you were answering.

Please fix the second link in your answer. The site won't make it clickable if it is malformed.

I have cut you a great deal of slack because of your age and whatever disabilities are making it difficult for you to understand things here, but my patience with you is winding down.

After the herpes/HPV vs. condom incident, it became clear to me that there was a problem with reading comprehension, and so I just let it slide.

If someone tells you something that can HELP YOU answer a question better, and you respond like you did, then you either didn't understand, which is sad enough, or you are deliberately being an ass.

If you didn't understand, fine.

If you are being an ass, then it is time to dial back the attitude a notch or two.

Thank you,

DN.

Your answer to my question did not read as if you were offering additional information. Instead your answer came off sounding to me like I had either ignored or missed some valuable information in this gentleman's original question. I didn't think I did and when I reviewed his question I saw that I hadn't. It might have helped had you added someplace that here is some information you were not aware of. Then maybe I would not have seen so much red and written a different or not have written a response at all.

Even his writing did not hint that he was from another country or I would have made some reference to that or answered another way if at all. This and the general tone of your answer was the reason for my rating.


We have seem to have gotten under each others skin. For whatever reason this maybe it is irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. We all make mistakes and I am willing to let bygones be bygones and start over from here. I have learned somethings from reading other peoples answers as well as yours. Hopefully I have been able to supply information that you and others have learned from.


Since the information in the second link is not relevant or helpful for the gentleman as it is a referral list for USA centers I have removed it rather than fix it.

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What's a liberal and a comunist? And what's the diff between a democrat and republican? And is Prez. Obama a republican or a democrat. I'm 13 so can you explain it without all the confusing politics words? I skipped a few grades and I'll be taking a placement test in august that'll have some social studies and American history sections so I think it'll be good to know a little more about some if this stuff. Thanks a ton guys. :)

You have three answers to your question the best is Gunners but may be too in depth for your question. I will try to generalize this a bit more to make it easier to understand.


Democrats: A political party generally seen as being liberal in their form of governing to the point of almost being socialistic. They believe in big government, high taxes and government that provides almost everything for their constituents. The Democrats believe in a strong welfare system and a small military. They believe diplomacy will win out over all. Yet President Clinton, who down sized the military by half and the current President as well as the last President, have all been very free in their use of our military forces.


Democrats do not support the second amendment, the do support Abortion rights. Some say that Democrats do not support the IX and X Amendments to the Constitution. This is something I personally am not sure about.


Republicans: A political party that as a whole does not believe government should be all things to all people. They do not support a welfare system as do the Democrats. They see the welfare system currently in place as a forerunner to a socialistic society where the government does provide all things to all its people. Republicans believe in a strong military, as in walk softly but carry a big stick. They do not support Abortion Rights, they believe in big government. They believe in low taxes and Fiscal Responsibility. They believe big business should generate growth and jobs not a big government.


President Obama: is a Democrat


Communism:In its truest form Communism is a classless system of government where everyone works for the betterment of the state and the state takes care of everyone. There should be no unemployment and everyone should not do without. Everyone is equal.


Unfortunately human greed,jealousy and desire confound the ability of true communism. The Russian form of Communism which fell during President Reagan's era was at the very leas a 2 class system. China another Communistic state is becoming somewhat of a capitalist communist state. Cuba is still like the old Russia maybe even a little more intolerant than the old Russia was.


Your question touches on a wonderful subject for which you should take the time to do more of your own research. History in general can be fascinating. Many of us when we where your age did not see the reason fro having to study history, why it was important or even how we would ever use it.


As an adult nearing retirement age I can't tell you how many times over the years I have ended up in conversations where history has come up or how important it was to finding an answer to a problem.


I would suggest that between now and the time you take the placement test you do some of your own research on the subject.

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I'm going to college this fall as a freshman and typically first years aren't supposed to bring their cars because all the parking spots are reserved for upperclassmen. so normally the younger class eithr bikes or walks to classes (and they stay in dorms.. while upperclassmen typically commute- aka drive from home or apartment).

so this fall my parent aren't letting me bring my car. I only live 25 minutes away from my college and I think its silly that i can't have a car my first year. My parents are moving and thinking about selling my car. I was thinking about buying a motorcycle? Nothing spendy like a harly-davidson.. haha. But i did find one that I really like. Honda motorcycle for only 3,999 dollars. Thats pretty cheap for a motorcycle. Here's the link

http://powersports.honda.com/2011/cbr250r.aspx

so do you think its a good idea? would i need a parking permit if i brought this to college? can't i just park it by the bike racks? what are you thoughts on this? thank you!

Razhie is probably correct. If the school will not allow you a car, the will probably not issue you a permit to have a bike on campus either.


When you are allowed to have a vehicle on campus, if you are still interested in a bike I would suggest you look at something other than a crotch rocket. They are nice bikes but they are not comfortable if they are going to be your only form of transportation. You would be better off with a touring bike, even if you have to settle for a used bike the first time to save money.


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Two days back,My husband and my friend had sex with me together in the same night. But now I'm worried because In case I get pregnant, Will there be a problem with my baby because they were two peoples indulged in sex with me.

You have gotten a range of advice from the other advisers. Fact is you, by what you have written are not pregnant yet.

First problem: If you do become pregnant as a result of this night of multiple partners can you ever be sure who the baby's father is. The sperm that fertilizes the egg has nothing to do with who was first or who deposited the most sperm. It has all to do with who had the strongest swimmer.


Second Problem: Maybe this should be the first problem as it could eventually harm the baby if you do become pregnant from this night or in the future. This is the problems of STDs; how well do youor will you know the other men? Did you all get checked for STDs before your swinging night? Did you take all available precautions against the STDs that you can take precautions against? Any STD you contracted can be a problem for the child during gestation and delivery. You and your two partners need to be tested.


Third problem: If the child is not your husbands have you and he made any plans for this possibility? What about the rights of the biological father? What about the child's rights to know about his/her heritage; especially the biological fathers family medical history?


All of these problems that I and the others are pointing out may be throwing a bucket of cold water on your night of fun. I and possibly the others are not condemn your actions. What we are saying is that from your question it appears you did not take or insist that proper safe guards against pregnancy were used.


If you and your husband want to have a swinging sexual life style who are we to say if it is right or wrong. What I will say is that when swinging you should insist that you and your partners take precautions against you becoming pregnant, that you and your partners are tested for STDs before you all climb into bed together.

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I’m a 19 year old boy; I started stammering from the age of 5, Everyday my stammering get worst each day. My classmates tease me and I’m very sad. And because of my stammer I never had any good friends and I always sit alone in my house. Sometimes I just feel to suicide because of my miserable life. Is there any cure for my stammer?

Somebody told me that hypnosis therapy would cure my stammer.

I'm sorry you have been teased. Children can be very hurtful. You will find as you go out in the world adults are more understanding.


The movie "The Kings speech" has brought new light to world and problem of stutters. Hopefully with enlightenment comes understanding. There are also places you can turn to for help and support.


The Stuttering Foundation provides free online resources, services and support to those who stutter and their families, as well as support for research into the causes of stuttering.


Below are two links I would like you to look at. One is to the home page of the organization. The second is to the referral page. On th second page click on you state of residence and continue until you find a list of therapists in your area.


You need not and should not sit home alone. For those who do not want to associate with you it is there loss not yours. They are the ones that are missing out on the opportunity of getting to know a great person. A good way to meet people is to find a group or organization that has similar interest as you do. An example would be a photography group. A common interest goes a long way in breaking the ice and it will help you as you will be more comfortable talking about something that interests you.

http://www.stutteringhelp.org

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My Girl friend and I used to indulge in fore·play and now she force me to cum on her face and she's forcing me to have an oral sex.
So is there a chance pregnancy. since we never had intercourse

To answer your question; as long as you do not cum in her vagina or anywhere near it, were your swimmers might get into her vagina, there is no chance she should get pregnant.


I am concerned by your use of the word "forced". Sexually the use of the word forced has all the meaning of the word rape. I don't think or at least hope this is not what you mean. Yes a male can be raped, when forced to perform a sexual act against your will this is rape. Be Careful how you use this word in a sexual situation.


If you have used the word properly and in the right context, you should consider talking with your parents about this as it is very wrong. You should also not see this girl any more. No one should ever be forced to do something sexually against their will. That is the true definition of rape. Rape by definition is the forced or coerced performance of a sexual act.

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Me and my boyfriend of six months want to become sexually active. I am fifteen and a half and he is sixteen, but this is something we're both completely sure about doing. And we are planning on using two forms of contraception: condoms and birth control. His end is taken care of, but I don't know how to ask my mom to make me an appointment for the gyno. She has me when she was seventeen years old, and has always insisted that I go to her as soon as we started talking about it...but I don't know how. I'm still afraid she's going to get upset and keep us from seeing each other.

First things first. You are fifteen,I will assume you have gotten your periods since you are asking about birth control, and have not had a first visit to a gynecologist? If so this is how you start you conversation with your mother.


There are certain things the gynecologist is going to want to discus with you and your mother if you wish. One of them is going to be the HPV vaccination. I'm not sure if getting the HPV vaccination is something that requires moms permission though it is something you need to be told about by a doctor.


You have, at your age by law medical confidentiality. Meaning your mother cannot be in the exam room or consultation room with you and your doctor without your permission. Your doctor(s) cannot release medical information to anyone without you specific written consent. The law is called HIPPA. You can research it on the web for more information.


As I was saying once a girl hits puberty and starts her menstrual cycle and her breasts grow. She needs regular annual check ups with a gynecologist. If you have not had one you need to start seeing a gynecologist regularly. The disease that are common to women are not age restricted and can strike at any age. I'm not trying to scare you, only to tell you why it is important that you see a gynecologist now and annually. The doctor will show you the proper way to self examine yourself and what is the right way to keep yourself healthy. Also when to call the doctor if you suspect anything is wrong.


Know to your question. With the rest in mind you have a reason to start a conversation with your mother about seeing a doctor. You can at that time say while I'm there I think I would like to ask the doctor for birth control pills to better regulate my periods and to be prepared when and if I decide to become sexually active.


In this way you are not diving head first into the conversation. There is a real need for you to see the doctor if you haven't already been to one. Remember to talk about the HPV vaccination, learning proper self examination and other things you need to know to stay healthy.

This would also be a good time for a conversation with mom about family medical history, something the doctor is going to ask about. A medical history from both mom and dads side of the family for everything from asthma to ulcers and anything in between.

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well i am 15 years old and theres this guy who comes up here during the summer, he is basically my neighbor and he likes me. I kinda like him too but i didnt want to start a relationship with him because he is my neighbor for the summer, but ive been hanging out with him for the past couple of weeks and we ended up kissing yesterday and we made out today. So now i feel bad because i didnt want to start anything with him but i really like him:/ should i stop or what should i do?

At 15 you should not even be thinking of the true definition of the saying "friends with benefits." Friends with benefits is strictly and adult sexual situation and you are far from being at the age of adult consideration.


I would suggest that as summer friends you keep it simple and just let it be a boy next store relationship. One where you both keep your clothes on and in their proper place.

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Dear advisenators

I need your advice please. I have 2 beautiful twin girls, who is 1 year old now, and a wonderful husband. He works in his own business and I am a full time student studying–neither of us are home often or together because of our busy schedules. I got married at 16 and divorced by 17. Yes, I married young. That guy was cheating on me and when I confronted him, he was so angry and became so abusive. I don’t want this to happen again with my new marriage because we are so happy together. Here is why I wrote because some thing similar is happening to me. My husband and me hired one of my best friends who has become a even more a very good friend to me–she looks after our little girls and lives with us. She is 19. We are Muslim. She was pregnant with my husband's baby now 2 weeks ago. we went together to get the abortion. He does not know she was pregnant and she never wants him to know. I have learned to accept him and love him no matter what. As long as he is not hurting me or anyone else. And he is not. He is such a good man. She is so concerned about her baby and her family and of me of afriad of me being mad at her begged me to stay because she needed the money and supports her family with it too, they are old and need her help so I let her stay. I promised her I would not send her back or tell him about the baby.. She said she would please us and do anything for us. She is very sweet. I do feel weird about her and my husband.

I don’t want to lose him and want him to be happy too, she is just a young girl and he may just have a weakness for girls like her. It seems harmless–she is a virgin. I am afraid to confront him. You see my mother told me that she had to put up with my father for our sake and because she valued her family more than sex.

My mother told me that if the girl is a virgin, and she is, I should not worry about STDs or anything else. I should just be a good wife like she was and leave him alone otherwise this husband will leave me too. Mom says he is a good man who comes from a good family, he supports me, i only have a high school degree with some modeling experience. What if I just let him alone? Allah commanded us girls to submit to our husbands. My mom said the prophet had many wives and slave girls. His wives needed to accept that, and she did with my father and i should too.


I dont know what to do about her pregnancy. I just want us to be happy. Please advise,


What harm would it do to keep ignoring it?

I am dependent on him for my support and for my girls too.

Please reply to

jjordan2011@mail.com




It sounds as if you are torn between two cultures. If you are in America or any other non Muslim country I can understand the dilemma you feel yourself in. My problem is I have no idea how to advise you.


In all good consciousness I can not and should not advise you to turn away from your religion. In the same vain I should tell you being this upset with the situation that at the very least you need to confront you husband and tell him how you feel.


This brings up two problems. The word confront or confrontation are words to elicit or start fights. Nothing is ever served by a fight only more hurt feelings are formed. In the Muslim society I'm not sure just how a wife goes about this or if a Muslim man will accept the fact that he has harmed her by his actions.


While are laws protect you your culture does not. I feel the best answer to your question may be to seek an answer for your Imam at the mosque.

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So all summer long my moms been complaining about how I haven't gotten a job.

I'm getting really sick and tired of listening to her constantly complain and belittle me because she's jealous that I'm on summer vacation and get to stay home while she works.

Every summer she treats me like crap and it's pretty much like being grounded for 3 months and i'm tired of sitting around because she never lets me leave the house and listening to her scream and whine and complain about how I "never do anything" and she even told me earlier it pisses her off to see me not working when she is and that just seeing my face or hearing me talk makes her angry.

So I went to the Barnes and Noble Website and downloaded an Application and now i'm filling it out and I intend to send it to them and I think I have a better chance at getting the job then most people do since I have a pretty much perfect school record along with being a certified associate of Microsoft Office and the Adobe Suite (they ask on the resume if you know how to work with Microsoft Word).

My only worry is that I'm only 16 (minimum age) but in a month and 14 days i'm going to be 17. I'm very charismatic and I've been a counselor at a camp for the past few years during the summer so I know how to deal with people as well. I'm also a member of FBLA and have the Presidents Volunteer Award among other certificates and I've taken "Leadership Training".

I don't see how it could be a bad idea so I think I'm going to just go ahead and do it even though I haven't asked my mother. I mean she's the one who always complains about me sitting at home "doing nothing" and has told me on multiple occasions that I need to get a job.

I'm filling my resume out on the computer so everything will be neat and tidy but I want to know, should I should put all of my achievements down on an extra sheet of paper and attach it to my resume or would that be overkill?


Any advice helps :)

In answer to your question: On most resumes' there is a space provided for Social Activities, Clubs and Organizations you belong too. Also at the top of some resumes' there is space to put in leadership and management skills.


Look at the resume carefully and fill in blanks provided as best you can. Under work experience you start with High school. Under that you show you camp counseling. For dates fro these two: For school show the date you started high school 9/20xx to Present. For camp counseling 6/2008 to 8/2010 or what ever the correct dates are.

If there is not enough room on their application for all your activities and awards then yes include additional pages if it will allow you too.

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Okay, so I'm gonna keep it short. I'm 20 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together steadily for six years. Our sex isn't all that I feel like it should be, and I'm wondering why not and how should I go about improving this. Even when the experience feels pretty good, I rarely EVER get my 'big finish", and he ALWAYS gets his, and he always thinks I've gotten mine. I don't know what to do! I want us to fix this problem asap! Please advise me! Thanks =)

COMMUNICATION is the key to everything in life including a good sex life. You need to talk to your boyfriend, tell him what you need and what you like.


The great thing about sex is your not sitting in the living room your in the bedroom. Your naked and should be able to be totally open with each other. After all everything else is out in the open, isn't it? Why can't you communicate openly?


This is not a conversation that is had over a bottle of wine on the sofa. It starts in the bedroom with something to the effect of you saying; "BF I want you to just lie there while I explore your body. While I'm doing this I want you to do two things for me. First tell me of your sexual fantasies. I also want to if you like or dislike what I'm doing to you. Then you can do the same to me and I will tell you of my sexual fantasies."


This should elicit the question of why? Which gives you the opening you need to tell him what is lacking in you sex life without deflating his male ego. Remember, and this is coming from a male, the male ego especially in the area of sex is very fragile. We all feel that in the bedroom we are super sex men. When told we are not we become sexually dysfunctional, as in not rising to the occasion again.


As I said communication is one of the two main considerations in a happy sex life. The other is consent. Both parties in sex have to consent in a particular sex act for it to be mutually consenting. If either party is not consenting then it is rape. If either party is coerced or in any way forced it could be considered rape at worst and definitely not pleasurable for the non consenting partner.


If you guide your sex life by those two rule, they are equally important, then you can expect to have a long and happy sex life.

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f/17

My mom is a hard working woman and she's already in her mid-fifties. She's also got a ton of health problems and my sister has severe depression, so my mom is always stressed and worried about things. She pays ALL of our bills and she cleans the entire house, she makes the food. And my father does nothing about it. He just lays around the house or goes to work, saves his money so he can spend it on himself, and then he talks crap about my mom to my little sister and I. It's outrageous!! They've been married for almost nineteen years! I mean, my father is Mexican and he never learned English, so he's a bit hindered in some places, but he could at least help pay the bills, even so, he doesn't! He told my sister that he's sick of paying all our bills and doing all the work, but he does nothing! And not to mention, he's almost as depressing as my sister and having him around her is just making her worse!
My mom keeps saying she'll kick him out, but I think she's too scared to. She'll be lonely and she doesn't want to hurt her husband. I understand this, but she's just hurting herself by doing this! I really want to help my mother, she's miserable now and I know she is, even though she smiles and says she's fine. She's just bottling it up. She broke down a while ago when she found out my dad had used some of her money to buy a new car or something like that. I'm not trying to sound heartless or anything, but my mom's husband has got to go. He treats everyone, not just my mom, like crap. He's even abused our dogs!! And, I'm not quite sure, but I THINK my dad MIGHT be saving money away to move out. I'm not quite sure, but there's no way I'm asking him. I don't talk to him very much. He's more like that annoying neighborhood kid to me than a father, which actually kind of makes me upset sometimes because I try and talk to him about things, but he just tries to start a pity party on how he's the hard worker and I just get so fed up with it... What can I do about this situation ):? I really want to help my mom because it actually sounds like she might hurt herself with all this stress... (According to her doctor, she's already had a heart attack because of all the stress last year and that's terrifying my sister and I.)

I don't think you are going to totally like my answer. If you love your mother you will give my answer some real consideration.


As far as the situation between your parents goes there is nothing you can do about it. If your father leaves, then you have half the battle won. Your mother feels secure having a husband so there is nothing you can do to change this.


What you can do is reduce some of your mothers stress and work load. Your 17,I would think that at 17 you are able to clean the house, do the laundry and cook some meals. If you do not know how to do these things ask your mother to teach you. You will have to do these things for yourself someday and for your family when you have one.


You say your mother has already had a silent heart attack. She needs to rest when she gets home not start working all over again. By chipping in and helping out with the housework you will be helping your mother in the best and biggest way you can.


Your sister can help some too, even with her depression. If she is able to care for herself then she can do some housework for herself. As for her depression you need to see to it that she gets to the family doctor and gets properly diagnosed and treated. This too will relieve some of moms stress. Depression in most cases is easily treated, though it first has to be properly diagnosed.


I know you want a social life and you have school work. During the school year you set up a schedule for yourself. One day is laundry day, whether you do the laundry when you first arrive home or later in the evening while doing homework is for you to decide. The next day is clean the bathrooms day and so on until each part of the house has been cleaned. I would set aside Sunday as a day to cook ahead and freeze dinner meals so all you have to do when you come home is thaw the meals and reheat them. It's not as hard as you may think and it only takes a few hours especially if you cook large enough meals as to have leftovers so you can have a leftover night or two. I've done the cooking for quite a while in my family.


Unless your father is physically abusing you, you sister or your mother there is nothing you can do about the situation between them. What you can do is as I have suggested. That is if you love your mother you will help reduce her work load and as I said even your sister can help out.


If your sister has not been seen by a doctor and properly diagnosed for depression then you need to see to it that she is properly diagnoses. IF money is a problem check into free clinics, most are run by the county government, in your area that will diagnose and treat her. Call your public health service for more information.

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If school is about learning then why do you have fun?

Just because learning is serious does not mean it has to be without fun or excitement.


I'm retired now but during my working life, including my time in the military, I felt a day that I didn't learn something new was a day of wasted time. Now if I went through life in a serious manner looking to learn something I would have lead a very boring life. I learned things in many different ways; some in very funny ways , some in more serious ways but always while I was enjoying the work that I was doing.


In school it can be the same way. Sure there are classes where the teacher(s) may not be the best at what they do, or more strict in how they run their classroom; they are not the fun classes. Then there are the teacher(s) who are very good at what they do and very light in how they run their classroom. Their presentation style can be almost whimsical. The whimsical, light handed teacher(s) is still making their point in teaching their subjects. We all enjoy being in the classroom of the more whimsical light handed teacher and we learn more almost without knowing it.


Get a good education is important and it is something that should be taken seriously. Their is nothing that says that while you are getting your education and doing a good and serious job of it that you cannot also have a good time doing so.


Get all that you can out of you schooling. Enjoy your time in school and you will learn more.

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Why does pussies stretch

If this is a serious question there are two obvious reasons why the vagina stretches.


First: The vagina is the end of the birth canal where the baby exits the mother and comes into the world/ If the vagina didn't stretch the child would not be able to exit in this manner.


Second: The vagina needs to stretch to accommodate the penis which is the first part of the miracle of child birth.


Should you be asking why does a vagina become loose over time; well after repeated child birth this does happen. Also after accommodating a penis for some time a vagina can stretch as well.


The vagina is surrounded by muscle and like any other muscles if not properly exercise they will be come flabby over time. By exercise I do not mean continues sexual play. Their are exercises a women can do, as well as a man to firm up the muscles in this area.

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My girlfriend and I have been best friends from a young age. After a few dating fiascos on both our parts, we realized that we wanted to be with each other. We are 6 months into our relationship and we both couldn’t be happier…except for one thing. She works at a job which keeps her extremely busy for about 5 months in the year. During this time she gets some evenings off every other week, and about one weekend off a month. I’m at the point where I love her so much that I want to spend every second I get with her, but my 40 hour a week schedule doesn’t match up with her 95 hour a week schedule. I find myself getting frustrated with the lack of time I spend with her, and the lack of physical and emotional connection I feel with her working constantly. We spend less time together, talk/text less, and our sex life is pretty infrequent. I can’t be in a relationship that is like this nearly 50% of the year.

With how hard she works, she has been getting praises from her bosses, saying she can go anywhere within the company. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for her and her career. But because of this, her talk of possibly finding something else has changed to talking about staying for several more years. What’s worse is the fact that this is very close to her dream job, and what she went to school for. The time I get to see her, my frustration goes away, but then when she’s away I hardly feel like I’m in a relationship.

How do I bring up just how dissatisfied I am with her schedule? This is literally the only thing wrong in our relationship. I feel like bringing it up at all would push her away from me. I will be the one telling her that she shouldn’t pursue her dream, and getting out would inhibit her career. How can I effectively talk to her about and maybe even fix the situation?

This is somewhat of a unique question in that it is the male asking rather than the female asking the question. Then again this is the state of the time we find ourselves in.


I know your frustrated and your lonely for the women you have come to love and desire. Before you do something you will live to regret I am going to ask you to do something. I am going to ask you to put yourself in her shoes for a moment.


What if it where her writing to me about you working 95 hours a week for half a year? What if it was she who is telling me all of these things that you are telling me? What would you like me to tell her? Better yet what would you do if she came to you and said these things to you?


It is not my place to tell you how or what to do in this instance. For no matter what I say, even if I'm right in what I say, I'm going to be wrong.


The only advise I can offer is like I said; put yourself in her shoes and think what it would be like for you to hear her saying this to you. Then think of away to approach her and tell her how you feel.


If you see yourselves making a life together then you will always need to find away to compromise. While you are telling her how proud you are of her success are you also telling her how lonely her success is making you. It is important in any successful relationship to communicate openly. If you are saying one thing and not another than you are not being totally open and cannot blame the other if they don't see or hear you.

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What could be the annual expense for living in USA.
Especially in places like (San Francisco)

Gunner is correct in what he said. Living in any major city in the USA is going to have a higher cost than living outside that city within a reasonable commuting distance of that city. San Francisco is no exception.


Many years ago my wife and I were living in New York. I took a job Baltimore, Maryland. We made a home in the suburbs between Baltimore and Washington D.C. For a time we lost my wife's income entirely and I lost about 10% of my income in making the job switch. The cost of living here was so much lower that we did not see or have any problems and actually improved are standard of living by moving. Even with the lost wages we still able to reap all the benefits that Baltimore and Washington had to offer.


We have since moved many times in our working lives and have always chosen to live within commuting distance of a large city. Each time we have found that this was the best way to enjoy the benefits of that city and not absorb the cost of living by actually living in the city.


San Francisco is one of our favorite cities to visit. They have a great public transportation system from the suburbs to the city. My advise is if San Fransisco is where you wish to call your future home. Explore the wonderful suburbs as a place to put down your roots.

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I'm not interested in advice on why not to do it. I'm disabled, out of money, no chance to work, and a family to support. I have two life insurance policies that pay off at this point for suicide.

I tried getting metal health support in Chicago, but because of budget cuts I'm not able. An example is a place called C4. I called and they said because I have Medicare they can't take me. Why? They don't have the staff that is qualified, as they've been laid off. I tried several C4 locations and got transferred to the same person in the end. I even called one of the mental health people directly who told me she couldn't help me.

I called the Mayor's office. While they gave me leads on finding work and mental health NONE panned out. The ticket to work people say I'm over educated or qualified for their help. The mental health people say they don't have the resources.

I know the pain my family will feel, but the pain of not having a roof over their head or food will be worse in the long run. I'm not that special.

I'm in peace with my decision and my belief in the here after. Yeah, I know what mainstream churches say, but I disagree. God is a God of Love. no sin is unforgivable, except one and that's not suicide.

So, I'm posting asking for methods that are quick and painless (to me). I'm not for gun or bridge jumping. I want something private and not messy.

I'm thinking of pills, booze, and maybe a bag. I have lots of pain from my disability and have numerous schedule 2 drugs. I guess for a good answer the type is necessary. Methadone and Oxycodon.

I've been getting off of them slowly for two reason. First, so when I do the deed I don't resist them as much. Second, to have a good supply of them.

My thoughts are to grind them up into a powered and then mix it with water. This way I don't have to wait for them to dissolve or risk throwing them up.

I'm also considering mixing them with booze instead of water. My first choice is, though, to mix with water and drink the booze separately.

As for the bag, I'm considering two of them. One is a body bag to make it cleaner for everyone and second a trash bag for my head.

I'm considering the trash bag as it is big enough to give me time to actually pass out before running out of air. Hopefully, I'll be out enough not to fight for breath well enough to live.

Then I'll simply fall to that long sleep till God calls everyone to the Day of Judgment. If God doesn't exist the life has zip, zero meaning. If God is a God of Hate then I'll have to learn to hate.

If he is a God of Love, I'll only be able to stand for correction and simply say .. No one hath greater that he gives his life for another. In my case, I was giving my life so others might live awhile longer till the world of man gives them a better chance to find work or make other money.

----

So, please give me your thoughts on clean, painless ways to die.

Oh, yeah, if you're in Chicago and need a computer expert with 30 years of operating systems and networking software development, team leadership, etc. OR you're in Chicago and know of mental health that is really available even if you have Medicare, ... Yeah, I'll listen to you, too.

If all you want to say is don't do it or try to scare me ... don't waste your time.

From what you have written you have a plan to commit suicide. This means you are actively suicidal an a threat to yourself or others. Budget deficits or not you need help and help will be made available to you.


Pick up the phone and dial 911 NOW. Tell the call taker what you have written to us. The Police and Fire Rescue services will be sent to take care of you. The reason for the Police is to insure your safety, please don't fight then or be concerned that they are their. They are being sent to help not harm you.


You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255),they have crisis centers Nationwide that can help you.


The problem with getting government help is one of believability. They turn down most request from individuals. By calling 911 or the Suicide prevention hotline you will be helped by professionals who can get you the assistance you need.


Suicide is not the answer; help is the answer and it is available. Call 911 now.

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Well ok long story short im married, and both my husband and i are lookin to find another female partner to help us spice up the bedroom, im all for it and he says he is aswell but im just not convinced and am worried that if we go ahead with it a few months or years down the track he is going to turn around and throw it back in my face, we have talked and talked about it but i still feel since it was my idea in the first place he is just more or less going along with it so not to dissapoint me, is there any way that i can really be sure that he does want it as much as i do??? any advice would b great plz.

This is really a hard question to answer.


In general my advise on sexual issues such as yours would be that anything is fair game PROVIDED THEIR IS MUTUAL CONSENT. Here we have what looks to be mutual consent though one partner, you is not sure the other is being truthful in consenting.


I question somewhat why you are concerned that your husband may someday throw this back on you. It is not like you are suggesting bringing another man into your bed for your pleasure. You are bringing another women into you bed for his pleasure, or are you?


Is bringing another women into your marriage bed truly for the sole gratification of your husbands sexual pleasure or is there an alternative reason here. Please don't take offense at this but as a male I'm thinking like you husband may be thinking. He may be wondering if your desire to bring another women in to your sex lives is not solely for his pleasure but maybe to satisfy a desire in you that he is not aware of.


From my point of view if you are bi curious there is nothing wrong with this. Your husband may see it otherwise.


This leads to a second point I make when advising on sexual issues. COMMUNICATION: Communication is very important in our sex lives. We need to tell our partners of our likes and dislikes, our fantasys even things we might do on a dare so to speak. Communication is the spice of life when it comes to a mutually agreeable and enjoyable sex life.


The way you to find out for certain if your husband truly wants to do this is to ask him. Tell him why you want to do this with him or for him if that's the case. You are offering him something that is most men's fantasy yet you have reservations. You need to discuss this openly and find out why. He needs to know the why behind your offer. You need to know the why behind your feeling of his reluctance.

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