about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm getting married in 9 months time, the venue has cost more than we expected so we're having to cut costs elsewhere, which means I will be doing my own make up.

I'm 27 years old and I still have no idea about make up, I have very dry skin so I have to put mosturiser on my face, then foundation and it still looks flakey.

This is my main problem so if anyone can recomend any brilliant foundation fo that smooth airbrushed look? I've read about "Primer" too but I have no idea what that is, i'm never used it.

Next i'd like gorgeous eye make up, celebrities wear it a certain way which seems to change the shape of their eyes.

As you can tell i'm completely clueless and desperately need some fab advice.

Thank you

Just a suggestion: Many department stores offer make up consultation in there cosmetic departments. It is free and there is really no obligation to purchase the make they use on you.


You have nine months to visit stores such as Macy's, Lord and Taylor and other fine Department stores and have their make up consultants work with you to find the look you are looking for.

[view]

when your boyfriend get sperm on the outside of you vagina can you still get preganet

This is a yes and no answer depending on where on outside your vagina the sperm lands. The closer to the vaginal opening the better chance of sperm entering the vagina.

Any time sperm can find its way into the vagina a woman can become pregnant. The possibility is remote, but it is possible. Remember all it takes is one strong swimmer to fertilize an egg. So once a sperm is in the vagina if it survives all the obstacles a women can become pregnant if everything else is right.

[view]

In the last six years my mother remarried. He's from Sudan. In my opinion he's a crap husband; he's never there, he makes no effort to be a good husband or a step dad and I dont particularly like him. I think she married a dead beat. But thats okay. Its her choice, not mine.
They have two young children. It's the eldest I'm most concerned about. He lacks discipline. He messes around, takes tantrums and doest eat his meals. My step dad will often shout at him or smack him, and while i don't approve of such outdated parenting techniques, it's not against the law to smack your kid.
Today I visited for dinner and as usual he was messing around at the table. My brother spat out his food apparently and my step dad just snapped. He started shouting and slapped him in the face - though not a huge adult slap - and grabbed his cheek and started twisting it. All the while my brother is screaming and crying in both pain and fear. My mum came through from the kitchen and he grabbed my brother by the arm and took him to his room and shut him in. I shouted at my mother that i'd call social services and my sister shouted at him, saying he went too far.
For the next few hours my brother kept calling my step dad a 'bad guy'.I've seen my step dad before really nipping him for no reason, pushing him, smacking him too hard etc.
Before I left my step dad apologised to my brother, hugged him and told him he loved him. My brother is not introverted, he doesnt show any signs of fear from my step dad unless he's angry and is generally outgoing, if a little shy. He doesnt have the behaviour of an abused child and loves his dad it seems.
Im at a loss. I am heart broken and livid that my brother was so afraid of his father and I've seen my step dad act inappropriately towards my brother before, just not as bad as this.
My sister has since texted me telling me my mother told him that if he does it again he's out the door but im still concerned.
Does this constitute of physical child abuse? Should I go to social services because of it? I have no idea what to do. My father dismisses it as a cultural thing; he was regularly beaten with bamboo as a disciplinary action by his father (though his father was a drunk and they lived in poverty in hong kong). As does my step mother dismiss it. But they werent there and they didnt see the fear. Perhaps my step dad is parenting the only way he knows?

There is a fine line between discipline and abuse. Your step-father crossed it when he slapped your brother across the face. An appropriate spanking, on a child's buttocks, is discipline. Smacking about the body and head open handed or closed fist-ed is generally considered to be child abuse.


Your brother does fit the behavior of an abused child. Abused children generally love and look to please their abuser. As the eldest child you have a moral right to protect your younger siblings. You are to be commended for wanting to step in and do so.


You can one of two things. You can go to Social Services and file a report of child abuse. They will follow procedure and follow up on your report. The other thing you can do is file a police report along with your sister attesting to the facts of what you saw. The police will then investigate and take appropriate action.


The action by the police will most likely be much faster and probably result in your step-father being removed from the home. This to me is better than waiting for something to happen again and waiting to see if your mother follows through with her threat to kick him out. The police will of course all so request a social service intervention and investigation.


As the oldest child your job here is to protect your younger brothers and sister who may still be living at home. The outcome of what needs to be done may not be to you greatest liking, but it will be what is best for your younger brothers and sisters and that is what is important. If they are too young to protect themselves them someone like and older sibling needs to be the protector. For the next time you step-father hits your brother the outcome could be far worse then the last time.

[view]

hey guys! my mom always calls me and my sister bad words on a daily basis. im so sad and tired of it and it makes me feel like she doesnt want us. shes alwas saying how me and my sis make everything miserable and just a couple minutes ago, me and my sister were going to sleep in our playroom in the basement but we came upstairs cause we saw a centipede and got scared. next thing we knew, my mom came running down the stairs and started screaming at us that my dad was trying to sleep and she kept calling us "little f**kers", "f*ck a** b**ches" and a ton of other nasty names. me and my sister tried 2 get upstairs as quietly as possible but the door squeaks and we were scared. i dont know but i think my mom was overreacting just as she did a few days ago wen she verbally AND physically attacked me. please tell me. is this abuse or just dicipline. p.s. dont bother giving me hotline numbers because i wont call. im too scared and i know i wont be happy. so just forget about that. and dont tell me to talk it out with her cause she will just tell me to shut the f*ck up an then offer up the number to child protection services knowing i wont call. i have tried everything to get her to love me. i have even tried collapsing to the floor but she says im acting like an a** and ground me. nothing works. i have nobody to confide in or turn to. no trustworthy friends or family. nobody. so i just need 2 know, is this abuse or what? kisses! -C

Yes you are being abused, at least by what you have written. There is help out there for you you can't be helped if you won't take the help that is out there for you. It is your mother that needs help and you can get her that help but you first have to ask for it. Having no one else to turn to then you could or should do one of the following.


If you live in the United States you can go to your local fire station. Fire Stations in this country are safe havens for battered and abuse women and children.


There is an organization called RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by trained volunteers who help you find the help you need right in your own home town. their number is 1-800-656-HELP.


I don't believe you or your sister are the problem here. I believe the problem is with your mother. Your mother needs help. Something is bothering her. It could be almost anything from problems at work to problems with menopause. Whatever the problem is it won't go away by itself and she is not going to ask for help.


I'm sure your mother loves you and your sister. She may not be showing much love at this time. By asking for help for you and your sister; by trying one of the two suggestions I have made, you will also be helping mom.


If I am correct in what I am thinking mom may not truly be aware of her actions. I know that is hard to believe but it can happen. If you don't want to help yourself, then help her. The only way to do that is to call and ask for help for you and your sister.


One last thing. Is dad aware of what is going on between you two and your mother. If he is not then you need to talk to him first. If he is and has done nothing to correct the situation then try one of my suggestions.

[view]

Hi, I'm a 12 year old girl. I must wear a back brace everyday because of the curve in my spine (about 35 degrees). The brace is made out of plastic, and it makes me so sick. I'm never hungry, I'm always throwing up, and I always feel dizzy. I was wondering whether back surgery would be an option. The other thing is that I have braces( on my teeth) because up until about nine months ago I had buck teeth. I hate the braces so much, they're so ugly. Please help me with trying to get rid of both types of braces quickly. I don't want to be an ugly, lonely, crooked-toothed hunchback forever :(

This is not the answer you are looking for; I'll tell you that up front. What I am about to impart is some common sense advice that may be helpful to you based on my advanced years.


I know and understand how you feel. For years when I was your age and younger I had to wear corrective shoes. They were ugly and far from stylish. I could not wear any of the type of shoes any of the other boys in school wore and it made me the butt of everyone's jokes and ridicule. As the saying goes nothing last forever and as I got older I grew out of the problem requiring the corrective shoes.


Like you I didn't understand it then but when I got to be an adult and had to go out in the world and stand on my own two feet, literally, I understood. As young people we are more pliable. Meaning our bones are more easily fixed without surgery. Your brace is attempting to correct the curvature of your spine without surgery.


While spinal surgery may seem like a quick fix, you'll have to trust me here, it is not. There is a great deal of pain involved with this type of surgery. Pain that does not always go away. The surgery itself is not always successful and as far as I know can only be done once. You may be left with some curvature and more pain then your in now. Is this what you want for yourself?
There are no quick fixes in this world. The tried and true methods are the only and best way to do things if you want to insure success.


As for the braces on your teeth. I know between these and your back braces you feel like the most ugly duckling. Realize that these braces will come off in a year or two and you will have a nice smile to go along with a straight spine. I realize it is hard for you to understand this at 12 years old, but the harder something is the better we will appreciate the outcome. Actually the way the saying goes is: "the harder something is the better the pay off will be."


This saying works well in just about everything we do. The harder you work in school, the better your education will be. The better your education, the better jobs that will be available to you. The better the job, the better you will be able to provide for yourself and your family.


While it all seems overwhelming now, in a year or so when your standing straight and tall with a pretty smile. It will be worth it and you will forget all about the pain and heartache of today.

[view]

im not sure what this is but theres feels like an inflamed bulb is the only way i can describe it on the left side of my throat it is not on the right it doesnt really hurt but it does feel uncomfortable if i touch it im not sure what it is please help.

The best way to find out what is bothering you is to see a doctor. None of us on this site are doctors. We cannot make diagnoses and even if one of may have had something similar to what you are describing; nothing says what you are experiencing is the same thing one of us had.


If you are a teenager and something is medically bothering you, then you need to tell mom or dad. Let then decide if this is something you need to see a doctor about. IF your over 18 then you can decide if you need to see a doctor. If you are concerned enough to inquire of us then I would say you should see a doctor.


Young people should never hide physical problems from their parents. As parents we are responsible for your health and well being. There is nothing about your body that mom and dad are not aware of. There is nothing that can bother you as a female that mom would not know about or a male that dad would not know about. Truth be known, regardless of your sex you could go to either parent with any male or female problem without embarrassment. As parents we are well aware of the intimate parts of our own bodies as well as those of our children's of either sex.


My advise: See a doctor or tell mom or dad what is wrong and let them decide if you need to see a doctor.

[view]

Hello,
I notices that you were a guy and if i need advice from anyone, i think a guy would be most suitable. I am 17 and i am VERY self contious about myself. This is ackward to say but.. my Labia is longer than i have seen before, it is about an inch long and i dont know why, when i was around 7 it just happened and it ruined my self asteem even more. I know its i guess "normal" but all my friends have "clam" vaginas and my current boyfriend has been with only 2 other girls and i have seen both of there vaginas and its NOTHING like mine i feel vulgur and nasty about it, i need help to make myself better about this becuase im not at all. and it doesnt help being one of the prettiest girls in school, all my friends are sluts and everyone wonders why i have no much "respect for myself" when its really the complete opposite. My BF hasnt said anything about it but he is a VERY sexual guy and it scares me becusae i would be if i didnt have a PENIS LOOKING THING on my vagina :\

I'm a little confused. You start talking about your libia but your last sentence makes me think you actualy mean your clit. It really makes little difference.


Girls worry about their breasts and vaginas the way boys worry about their penis. As for your vagina; in all my years and I'm in my mid sixths I have never heard anyone refer to a vagina as ugly. Big lips have their advantage duty foreplay and oral sex. The same is true for an extended clitoris.

As long as you are not in any discomfort before, during or after sex or any other part of the day, stoop worrying. What ever you have is part of you. You are a beautiful person and any guy that makes fun of your anatomy is a fool for not appreciating the gift you are offering. Having sex with you is your gift to him. It is not something he is entitled to just because he took you on a date and spent some money on you.


Fact is most boys/men will appreciate the gift you have to offer if you do offer it to them. They will enjoy whatever it is you have to offer without complaint or teasing. The type of teasing that is not playful. So relax and enjoy your body. You have been blessed with a very special sex organ.

[view]

I've been dating this guy for a few months now and my dad wants to meet him. everyday he tells me he wants to meet him but i'm to scared for them to meet. how do i tell my boyfriend that my dad wants to meet him and what/how would be a good place/time for them to meet???

As long as dad is not standing at the door with a shotgun or a baseball bat I don't see any reason to stress out over this. I'm a dad and while I do not have a daughter I have filled in for my nieces when required. They have both always brought their boyfriends by to get my approval and never worried that I would disapprove or embarrass them. I enjoyed teasing them before and and afterwards but never in front of the current boyfriend.


As to how to tell you boyfriend: The straight simple truth works best. "John my dad has asked to meet you." "Would you like to come to dinner next Friday?" That takes care of the how to tell him and the when.

If the boyfriend asks why, I would simply say dad is old fashion in this way and likes to meet my friends. If boyfriend says no to meeting dad my advise to you would be to find another boyfriend. It is really no big deal to meet a girls parents. I seriously doubt your father is going to ask him what his intentions are towards you. Dad is probably just like me; he wants to size him up for himself to make sure he is good enough for his little girl. After all even when you a grown lady with children of your own you will still be his little girl.

[view]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now but he ignores me all the time and I am getting sick of it. I don't deserve it and it's bringing me down and making me feel neglected. He blames him ignoring me on his multi personality disorder. I want to deal with it but I don't know. I wanna accept him for his flaws but it's just so silly. He's never blamed it on that before. Please help.

I think you would know if your boyfriend suffered from MPD. If he is suffering from MPD he would have 2 or more separate and distinctive personalities. Each of which would be easily identifiable.


While I am not a doctor, it is more likely your boyfriend suffers from some form of manic depression, such as bipolar disorder. As the other writer said the extreme in this disease has to be seen and or experienced to understand.


I can't help you with the question of why he is suddenly blaming things on this disorder. It could be he trusts you. Or it could just be an excuse. If he is suffering from chronic depression he needs professional medical help. This type of depression is not something you can get over by yourself. Left untreated he could even hurt himself and or others.


If your willing to deal with it then you must be willing to help him get the help he needs. It won't be easy for he will feel as if he is functioning without help and not in need of help. He will only ask for help when he finds himself at rock bottom. Just what his rock bottom will be I can't say.

[view]

Okay, so my parents are insanely overprotective and it's driving me nuts. My mom literally won't let me do anything. She gives me no freedom. I'm 14 and she still won't let me have a facebook even though EVERYONE I know has one, she won't let me go shopping with friends, see movies with friends, or walk or bike anywhere without her. It's embarrassing when my friends ask me to do something fun and I have to explain that my mom won't let me do it. I live in a wealthy, safe neighborhood where nothing ever happens. I'm so sick of following her rules and don't see how I can handle another four years before college with her. Also, her overprotectiveness is backfiring. It's making me rebellious. Little does she know I have ridden bikes all over town with a friend, seen a movie at a mall with a friend, created a facebook and done countless other things she would never allow me to do. I'm not ashamed of any of these things, in fact those times of freedom were the most fun i've ever had. They would be more fun, however, if I didn't have the fear of being caught and killed. How can I get my mom to be less overprotective? I've sat down and talked to her about it, told her everyone gets freedom, and nothing will change her! I'm going insane! Help!

When I was your age and I would say that my friends are doing this or Billy's mom is letting him do that, my mom would respond with: "Just because Billy Jumps of the Brooklyn Bridge does that mean you have to too." I grew up in Brooklyn, New York.


The ages 14 to 17 are probably the hardest ages to be a teenager, especially today. You want to be treated like an adult. People tell you to act like an adult and when you do they tell you your still a child. Do I have the right picture? I think I do.


So does your mother and while she is being overprotective she has her reasons. Just what they are only she can tell you. I know some of what those reasons could be, all you have to do is watch the evening news. I live in one of the richest areas in the country and just last night not 5 miles from where I live a drug addict snatched a child off the streets; holding him for ransom. Why? The addict needed money for a drug fix.


The news is full of stories like this. Not long ago a girl your age was going to a fast food place to meet a friend. Her body was found a few days later in a swamp. Raped and killed by a pedophile.


There are many more stories like this on the news every night. There are stories about children meeting people over facebook, going to the mall, the movies and everything else your mother is not allowing you to do. Because she sees stories on the news about these people and ending up harmed or murdered.


Can this happen to you, yes it can. But the odds are better that you will be hit by lighting before any of this will happen to you.


Understanding what scares your mother, what makes her to be so over protective is the first thing you need to understand before you can deal with the problem. Once you understand why she is this way, then you can have a reasonable conversation. A reasonable conversation is one that takes place with out any yelling or argumentative tones.


You start with mom I know you love me and are only looking out for my safety and well being. But how do I learn to care for myself if I'm not allowed the freedom to learn and explore the world around me. Then you go on from there. Children have to be allowed to grow if they are going to function as adults. If need be enlist the help of an Aunt, Uncle or grandparent.


I'm fairly certain mom is just afraid for your safety. I'm just as certain that you are probably an only child, which is compounding your problem. If your not an only child then you must be the first born.

[view]



I'm just curious, Why do you delete my questions?

I have asked you questions before on this site and you have so far answered none of them. I ask you a question because I feel you give good advice on this site, Deleting my questions really make me think otherwise.

I delete questions I either do not feel qualified to answer or do not have answers for. I appreciate your trust but and would like to keepmijt.

if you would prefer I say Do not have an answer for instead of deleting just say so. Some questions you have asked are better answered by the younger advisers.

[view]

why would you vote for a women president?

I vote for the best qualified person. Not for their Gender or Creed. I would have voted for Mrs. Clinton even though I am not of her party had she been the candidate for she and her running mate were far more qualified then the two on the other ticket.

[view]

When I was 12 my mother told me that she didnt know who my father was because she was raped. But there is a name on my birth cirtificate that my mother says is just an old friend who was nice and put his name on for me and I cant find that person anywhere then my mother told me last year when she lived in my house that my father was a nice guy and she only remembered his first name. how did he go from being a rapist to a nice guy who would never hurt her. She even went the extra mile to tell me that he was "afraid" when they had sex because he wanted to make sure she wanted it. How do I tell her that I know that she has been lying to me? How do I get her to tell me the truth? Why do you think she is lying? Why doesnt she think that I deserve to know my father and my children deserve to know their grandfather? I dont care if he wants to be in my life I just want to know if there is health problems I need to worry about. I would love for him to be there in my life but the choice is his. What do I do? Please help

You do have a right to know who your father is, for all the reason you have mentioned For those reasons your mother should tell you the truth if she herself really knows what the truth is anymore.


What do I mean by that? Your mom may be lying to herself as much as she has been lying to you; to the point that she herself may not truly no fact from fiction anymore. Why this may be so I can only guess at and my best guess is that the truth may be so traumatic to her that she has hidden it behind all the lies she has told you.


This is nothing more than bootstrap psychology on my part. I'm not a doctor and I do not know you or your mother. It is just an answer that has a bit of sense to it and I have both seen and heard it before.


It is also possible that whoever your father is told your mother he wanted nothing to do with you or her, ever and your mother is just protecting you. It is all however many years you are old now and his views may have changed. Something you will never know until and unless you get to contact him. If you do get to contact him you must prepare yourself that he will be less than thrilled to hear from you.


Getting your mother to tell you the truth may be both hard and time consuming for as like I have said; she herself may not, at this time, know the true truth. To continue to harp on the subject with her may only result in more lies or worse. I would suggest you tell mom how important and include the medical reasons, this is important to you. That knowing who your father is changes nothing between the two of you. Then suggest joint counseling with a good psychologist who can break down the wall mom may have put up to protect herself( don't tell her the part about the walls). This is what I meant by time consuming.


The answers you are looking for are somethings you need to know. The fact that mom is not forthcoming in answering your questions says you are going to need help getting the answers. This is were therapy with a good psychologist comes in.


I hope I have helped you.

[view]

is babysitting at 13 too young??xxx

Some states actually have laws as to the age a baby sitter must be. It would be wise to check and see if your state has such a law.


As to whether I would allow someone 13 to babysit for me would depend on: how well I know them, how long I would be gone and where I was going. Also how mature I felt the person is.


The American Red Cross offers a babysitting program that includes CPR classes for infant and children. Upon completion of the program you are a certified babysitter by the American Red Cross. This would be a definite plus if I were to be looking at you as a babysitter.


Suggestion: Call the American Red Cross in your area to see if they offer the course. If so, see if you are old enough to take the course and what is required to do so.

[view]

My mom is constantly writing people off in her life. I'm 36 years old and from as long as I can remember back my mom has been disowning family and friends. I always dreaded the day that it would be me. But, she wrote me off about a month ago, for nothing in my eyes. In addition to myself- in this episode (which is what I call these mood periods) she has alienated herself from me, my sister, her two sisters, her three nieces, and a nephew over a facebook comment one of her nieces wrote after she went on a verbal attack on facebook herself.
My mother is a very insecure person and always feels that family member or friend's actions are motivated by them wanting to upset her or make her look stupid or to directly hurt her.
She has always been jealous of her sisters, stepmother, and mother because of their relationships with her father. She has been jealous about my and my sister's realtionship with my father. In fact when I was 6 my mom accused my dad and I of having an affair and throw her china against the wall above our heads and told us to move in together. She has often kept us from talking to him on the phone or having private conversations with him in person.
My mother has a constant habit of bad mouthing people, everybody from someone I last saw in grade school, to the neighbor, to a relative, to a friend of mine or a friend of hers, to a constestant on American Idol. It almost seems as though she thrives on other peoples unhappiness.
Whenever a family member has an important event coming up ie: a wedding, birth, some great milestone she takes it upon her self to have one of her episodes - out of the blue. This time was that we were all planning a family reunion at the end of August.
I should also mention that she goes to the dr like it's a hobby. She always thinks something is wrong with her. But she also thinks something is always medically wrong with everybody. All in all I would say that she is paranoid. She is very judgemental and if you don't share her opinion than you are garbage. After putting up with thi sfor years on end I am finally done with pacifying her. My Dad is an enabler so I am not sure how to get her helf. Is there such a thing an intervention for mental illness?

Does your mother have a mental illness? Not being a doctor I cannot make a true diagnoses, neither can anyone else on this site. It does sound like something is wrong with your mother that medical intervention may help.


Problem: Like many people with mental illnesses your mother is functional. Meaning you can't force her to seek treatment. By functional it is generally meant that she is able to work and care for herself. Getting a person who is functional to seek treatment for a mental illness is a lot like trying to get an alcoholic to seek treatment. As anyone in AA will tell you an alcoholic has to hit bottom before they will seek treatment and everyone's bottom is different. A person with a mental illness who is unwilling to accept the fact they are ill almost has to do the same thing.


You can try but you cannot force your mother to seek treatment. I would suggest you continue to try regardless of the outcome of your trying as it is in her own best interest. If you can prove she is a danger to herself or others then there are legal avenues you can pursue to have her treated. The legal requirement are very exacting and you should seek the counsel of a good family practice lawyer before taking such action.


I'm not sure of your meaning or use of the word "Intervention". In it'strut meaning the answer is no. From what you have written your mother cannot be involuntarily committed for treatment. All you can do is ask, coddle and cajole hoping that at some point she will do as you ask. As long as she is not a danger to herself and or others an involuntary commitment will be hard to get.

[view]

Im 14 and scared and nervous to tell my mom i started my period yesterday. Can someone help me out please.:) thanks

Getting your period is a natural part of becoming a young women. Your mom is probably waiting for you to tell her so she can help you.


There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Getting your period is as I said a natural part of growing up as is the budding of your breasts. I'm sure mom was there to help you pick out a proper bra. Why would you not want her help in making sure you are properly caring for yourself with your period.


Your mom went through this when she was about your age. She knows the questions you may have and has the answers for them. The fact that she has not asked you about your period; she probably does not want to be intrusive feeling you will come to her when your first period arrives.


How do you tell your mom: You simply ask mom for some private time together, away from the rest of the family. Then you just say simply; "Mom, I think I just started my first period." "I have questions could you answer them for me?" I'm certain mom will take it from there.


As a parent we have a very complex job when it comes to raising our children. There are certain things required of us by law, though are responsibilities go far beyond what the law requires of us. A big part of our responsibility is helping our children grow into responsible adults. This means being there to answer question like these.


So go talk to your mom.

[view]

I know it seems stupid as I'm about to give an example of the type of info here, but this place is different.

Anyway, she just knows my age and gender, what country I live in, that I have a weak stomach, and that I like art and music. There's lots of people like that, right?

I know I'm likely worried over absolutely nothing, I'm just a pretty paranoid person about online friends. It has been pounded into my head that it's "better safe than sorry."

Feel free to flame and call me an idiot, don't even feel bad about it. I just feel kind of nervous..

As long as this person does not have your Email address, that you communicated through chat rooms . I would say you have nothing to worry about.


The information you gave as an example is the type of information one would show on a facebook page. Facebook even has a place for your home town and people use their real names on facebook. You have supplied by your example far less information then would be found on facebook or any of the social network pages.

I would think you have nothing to worry about. In the future though, know who you are chatting with before you give out any intimate details about yourself.

[view]

It was about 2 months ago when I got my belly button pierced. It hurt for a few days after, but it didn't really puss. The ring my piercer used was a circle one that looks something like this:
http://www.cocobulbodyjewelry.com/Captive-Bead-Rings-Lip-Rings.html?gclid=COGyrKHx_KkCFUff4AodJ21Zxw

After just a few weeks my piercing didn't hurt to touch, it didn't puss, and it wasn't red.

My piercer told me to wait at least 3 months before I changed it, but I planned to wait longer.

So it's been more than too months now since i've had it done, and suddenly one day, it started to hurt a lot to touch, and bloody looking brown puss came out. Now the middle part is swollen and brown puss is still coming out often. I am very concerned and I don't want to take it out yet, please help me!

Navel piercings are tricky. When my sons girlfriend had it done she was so skinny that the piercing actually nicked something internally. I don't remember what was nicked only that she was one sick girl for quite a while. This is probably not the case for you.


My advise whenever anyone is sick or injured is to see a doctor. We are not doctors. We can not make diagnoses and even if someone had something like what you are having does not mean you will have the same results. Only a doctor can make diagnoses and treat you.


You are having a pussy discharge which is a sign of an infection. This probably will require a topical antibiotic and possibly an oral one to clear up. Over the counter antibiotic creams may not be strong enough. Only your doctor can prescribe medication that can truly treat this infection. So see your doctor.


There is nothing here to be embarrassed about, these things happen. You will not be the first person your doctor has treated for this and I guarantee you will not be the last. So go see the doctor and have this taken care of properly.

[view]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 years and just recently started living together, despite our young age (I'm 19 and he's 20). My question might sound kind of silly... but do guys ever get tired of a girl's body? I mean, we have sex 3 or 4 times a week, but most nights I sleep without a shirt on... which needless to say he loves, but do you think that after a while he would stop getting turned on by me? Or is this something that many couples do? I feel like I am maybe too liberal with my body... generally speaking, do guys prefer girls to be more liberal or do they find modesty a turn-on when it comes to sex? Thanks for your advice!

You ask a very interesting question. You can probably ask this question of any number of guys and get any number of answers.


Is modesty a turn-on or turn-off: I would say it depends on the relationship or where in the relationship you are. In a committed relationship such as the one you are in my answer would be it would be a turn off.


My wife and I have been married 40 years as of yesterday. I still enjoy being naked and cuddling up to her naked body. True her body is not what it was 40 years ago, then again neither is mine. All through those 40 years being naked and being sexual together has been different. We can be naked together and not have to be sexual. It was different 40 years ago when being naked almost always ended with sex, but as we became more accustomed to each other we could enjoy each other without having to be modest about our bodies.


Modesty has it place when trying to attract someone. Unless you are someone who is a naturalist(nudist) modesty tells the other person something about you. Once you have had a relationship for sometime and are comfortable with one another, modesty should start to fade.


This is of course my opinion. Like certain parts of ones anatomy everyone is going to have one; this has been mine. I hope this one has been helpful to you.

[view]

For the past month I have been drinking so much at night, I drink loads of water during the day but still feel really thirsty at night.

This is a question you should seek an answer from your doctor on. I and the others on this site are not doctors and cannot make diagnoses.


Excessive thirst is a sign of several different types of problems that only upon examination and testing can a doctor diagnose.


The illness most associated with excessive thirst that comes most quickly to mind is diabetes; which is a serious and even life threatening disease if left untreated. I'm not saying this is what you have it is just what comes to mind first.


If you have had a change in lifestyle such as exercising more; it is possible you are not replacing the fluids you are loosing through exercise. Being dehydrated is serious and is something you need to be educated on how to prevent.


There are more things that can cause you to be thirsty all the time and again only a doctor can make a diagnoses.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker