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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
What's wrong with my family ..? My mom and I alway fight seems like forever but the pass 3 years have been really bad where I get Hurt or her ... One fight where she was drunk & beat me .. She never gets drunk so it's not like shes that kinda mom.. But she cryd for me come back home and I did which I was stupid .. We fight alot about stupid things then she says hurtful stuff like I hate you I wish I never had you .. Everyone hates you , you stupid bitch .. Your grandparents told me i should send you alway they hate to death too now. She knows I love them so much .. She always tells me everyone hates me so now I become this person that hates everyone ... I don't wanna be but I failed for her lies and now she mad me hate myself.. I cut myself & took pills to go to sleep forever.. But everyone see her my mom as a loving nice person ... She loves my sisiters and brother but not me why ??? She even told me her brother said he will kill me cause I need to leave this weorld cause I'm the bad kid... I don't understand I'm good I get good grades never got into bad stuff .. I don't get it what did I do so wrong ?
I can't tell you what you did wrong; most likely you did nothing wrong. There are parents who for unexplained reasons will blame one of their children for their own failings and short comings. Usually this is the oldest or youngest child as the oldest and youngest children are usually unplanned causing a disruption in a parents plans or goals for themselves.
Parents do not have the right to beat a child. There is a difference between discipline and beating. Beating is child abuse. You are being mentally abused which can be many more times more hurtful than being beaten. Mental abuse is also a form of child abuse.
Now what can you do about this: Given what you have written I'm going to make two suggestions. I would like you to first call an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline answered by trained volunteers who can put you in touch with the right people in your hometown who can help you. There is no age requirement to ask for their help. Their number is 1-800-656-HELP.
The other thing you can do is call your local child services office and ask for their help. You will find their number by calling directory assistance and asking for the child services office for your state, county or town.
Whatever you choose to do, while you are seeking help should you get the urge to cut yourself PLEASE DON"T. Instead pick up the phone and call 911 and tell the call taker you are going to cut yourself. They will send help to you.
If you do not live in the United States or Canada calling RAINN will not help. I'm not sure what child services are available in other countries. What you can do in other countries is to go to a hospital emergency room and ask for help.
Cutting yourself is dangerous and can cause you life threatening injury. The hospital will want to help you and the child abuse will have to be dealt with. Even in Canada and the United States if you feel in danger you can always go to a hospital emergency room.
Im 21 and I have not gotten a period yet and im also having sex, what can I do to make me get my frist period help please........
Women that are extremely under weight or very athletic do not get their periods. If you are not under weight or not very athletic you need to consult with a gynecologist to find out why. Test need to be run to see what is missing causing this not to happen in you.
I am in my 20s and have always had problems with anxiety, depression,
low self-esteem and eating disorders. I feel like I experienced sexual
abuse at such an early age that I have no memory of it. Sometimes I wonder
though if I'm just trying to find one specific reason for all of my issues
and sexual abuse seems to make sense but maybe I'm just crazy.
Here is a list of factors about myself that are concerning to me...
-bed-wetting until about 10 years old
-I was an only child and was very distant and quiet
-earliest memories of masturbating to sexual fantasies around 3 or 4
-I would frequently get caught masturbating by family members as a child
and was subsequently scolded and/or whipped
-I have memories of acting out graphic sexual fantasies with a friend around age 7
-I have a memory of being caught masturbating during nap-time at preschool at age 4
-I have memories of sexual fantasies played out by familiar cartoon characters
-compulsive binge-eating began in early childhood around age 4
-hair-pulling/trichotilomania began around age 7
-frequent vaginal yeast infections in early childhood
-earliest memories of suicidal ideation around age 7
-When I first started have sex at age 15 I experienced a great deal of vaginal pain
which continued for years until I became more comfortable with sex and my long-term
boyfriend which leads me to believe it was probably psychogenic
Even if I was sexually abused but don't remember it, should I even bother trying to remember or delve into this further? Would this make everything worse or be the key to unlocking the solution to my problems and allow me to move forward? And if it happened and I never do remember, am I doomed to suffer PTSD-like symptoms forever or can you treat those symptoms without addressing the possible root cause?
Not only is it possible that you were either abused or that you witnessed something very traumatic to you at any early age. Other things happened to you that could be causing some of the problems, such as PTSD and the other things you have written about.
Early childhood memories aren't really forgotten as many of us think. They are just deeply recessed and can come back on us in many way.
You would do well to find a psychologist that you are comfortable with, this may take going through one or more to fine one you are comfortable with. When you do; you need to be open and honest in working with him or her to get at the cause of whatever is bothering you.
This type of therapy can be troubling at first as you will need to dredge up some uncomfortable thoughts. In the end it will be worth it for these are the thoughts that are the root cause of your problem and once properly dealt with you will have a better life.
i need sum advice i have a boyfriend of 7months and just recently in these past two months he has expressed huge ammonts of anger towards me. i dont know what is causing him to be this way and he tells me he dosnt know why he does it either.
examples of these things – he starts in a joke that i am cheating and from there he gets worse into it and starts making statements that i am screwing around at me job or if i go somewhere without him that i have been with another guy. he constatly tells me i am being “bitchy” and has that i have a atitutted and starts going off on me about how i am acting when i could just be sitting and not saying a word. during those moments i try so hard not to say anything to him. usually i end up in tears and i am made to answer him otherwise he keeps screaming at me.
ever time i ask him why he says those things to me he tells me he dosent know.
i dont know what to do other then to keep my mouth shut towards him. he tells me to leave him and tells me to find sumone else. i dont know why he says that to me as well. if i agree with him he gets upset and asks me if i am leaving him and why.
no matter how many times i have asked him to stop he goes on about either how its all his fault like usually or he tells me that i have changed and its all me. im confused and lost on this matter.. we have very few good days any more.. he has apoligized to me after i have broken down and cried cause i cant handle what hes saying to me. its like a light switch one minute were just fine the the next hes going off at me then hes just fine again and wants me to get close then he gets mad at me that i am still upset about what had just happened. like he expects me to just brush it off. he has told me he would stop but goes right back to doing it again. he tells me he loves me but also tells me that i need to start showing him that i love him. i honestly feel that he is the one that needs to show me he loves me cause i dont feel like he does.
(i am also 27 and a mother of 3 kids)
This is not a good situation for you or your children. If you are living with this man one of you has to move out. The link provided by the other adviser is one source of assistance for you. Another would be the House of Ruth, which is a regional organization that provides shelter and assistance to battered women as well as legal assistance to those who needed.
You are a battered women, mentally. When, not if this will escalate to physical abuse is the only question of time. He is not the type of man you want to expose your children too. For now he is only abusing you or at least that is all you are telling us. He will eventually start abusing your children.
If he is living with you kick him out. Go to the court house and get a restraining order against him. If you are living with him then you need to move out. You may love him and in his own way he may love you. The problem is that he has issues that love and you alone cannot overcome. It is time to protect yourself and your children before this becomes physically abusive.
Do older teachers..(men).. like in there late 20's and up..fantasize about younger girls..like in the classes they teach?
I know this sounds odd ..but I was just wondering..since all the crimes about teachers seduce there students, the students seduce them..
Like, I've noticed to guy teacher's I know..make a lot of eye contact with me. I think it's just because they wanna make sure your listening, and that they really care about your learning..etc.
I was just wondering! Thanks!
When a teacher makes eye contact with a student is a teaching technique they learned used to keep your attention focused on the material be taught. Students sometimes mistake this eye contact for what it is not and when that happens problems arise. Sometimes these are the problems that make the news. Not every teacher that is accused of misconduct is actually charged with a crime. Unfortunately we never hear about that and his or her career can still be ruined.
Please do not make more of the eye contact with your male teachers than what it is; a teaching technique to keep you focused. If one of them ever makes a pass at you, invites you to his home, be they unmarried or married and wife not at home, then you need to go directly to the principal and report this.
I'm going to be 14 years old in a month, and I just weighed myself, and discovered that I weigh a whopping 115 pounds!!!!! I'm 5'2"...is this overweight? How can I shed 10 pounds?!?!?!
Your 14 years old. Please do not worry so much about your weight. Your doctor will tell you if you need to gain or loose weight when you have your yearly school physical. Trust your doctor as he or she has your best medical interest at heart.
Remember one thing; it is just as bad if not worse to be under weight then it is to be slightly over weight. If you every feel your over weight check with your doctor first. If you feel your over weight because something is flabby it probably means you need to exercise more or more properly than to diet. Dieting does not reduce loose muscle flab.
I'm Almost 5 months pregnant and I'm 15, me and the baby's father want the baby it's just my parents don't? They know and want it gone cause their ashamed... I want the baby so bad, just like the father does and were very responsible and he Wanta to take care of us both and support of everyday possible physically and emotionally!(: I'm from Texas. If that helps and I'm Wondering Can I get An abortion? Can they force me too? Anyway me and my boyfriend (the father) can we do anything? any advice anyone? Anything will help thank you...
Zane has given you the best answer. Medically you are of the age where you are legally responsible for your own care and have medical privacy. Only a court order can force you to have a medical procedure against you will.
You are also to far along in your pregnancy to have a legal abortion. In most states, at this stage in your pregnancy, unless your life is in danger or you are the victim of rape or incest you could not get an abortion now. Texas has some very strong anti-Abortion laws when it comes to abortion so your parent, if they could force you, or you would have to meet those standards before you could obtain an abortion.
While your parents may be embarrassed there is not much at this time they can do about this. What you have to do is make some tough decisions as to what is the right thing to do for the baby.
Having a baby is probably one of the most joyful time in a persons life. Raising a child is one of the hardest jobs anyone will ever do. It is hard enough for an adult who is financially secure; it will many times harder for you and your boyfriend.
Ask yourself this question; Is it the best to raise this child myself knowing that I may not be able to supply everything he/she needs? Will I be asking my child to pay for my mistake by forcing him/her to live in possible poverty?
If the answer to these question is yes, then I ask you to consider putting the child up for adoption. This may not be what is right for you; the question is by putting the baby up for adoption is it the right thing to do for him or her?
The state adoption service will see to it that the adoptive parents have all the things parents should have to provide for a child. The things that you don't have. They will see to it that the adoptive parents have a good home, are financially secure, can provide proper health care, clean clothes and all the things a child need to grow up strong and become a positive member of society. Is adoption what is best for the child?
If you agree that adoption will give your baby the best start in life. Then this is an option you need to explore with the legal aid attorney and child services. This is not a decision that needs to be made now. You have two more trimesters to finalize a decision to put the baby up for adoption.
18/f
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years. We have been doing "foreplay" for the majority of this time but have only started having sex for the past 5 months or so.
Put simple, no matter what I do I can't seem to finish for him. It gets to a point where things feel SO good, up to a point where I physically stop him (i.e. grab his hand or push him off). It seems so intense and so good that I cant take anymore and I just can't help it. So that's the basic problem in a nutshell, however there is more to it but you don't have to read it all if you have any ideas on what could help me.
Anyways, some background things that may hinder answers are:
1.) I dont traditionally masterbate. I do to some degree, but not the way it is normally done. For some reason, i don't feel anything at all when I try to mimic and do what he does to me to myself.
2.) I was sorta sexually abused as a child (hard to get into) and I tend to have alot of "rape dreams". Sometimes I worry this may be blocking things somehow...
3.) Lately, I have been incredibly sensitive. We are eachothers only sexual partners and we always use a condom and the birth control pill, but for some reason even foreplay tends to hurt. It really discourages him caus I always say its sore, especialy since beforehand I always tended to like things kinda rough.
Any ideas? At this point his confidence is almost shot and I know its starting to be a problem. He doesn't even want to do anything sexual because he thinks he's just horrible at it (which I know is not the case). Any ideas why this is happening and what I can do to stop it?
Thanks.
The fact that you say you were sorta "Sexually abused" is most likely a major contributing factor in the way you are having a problem. You may think you have put the abuse behind you when in fact you have not. The human psyche can play strange tricks on us, when we least expect it.
While you did not elaborate on just what type of abuse it was who or abused you. All the same it is my unprofessional feeling that when you became sexually active the abuse that has been buried, surfaced to the extent you will not allow yourself to enjoy sexual activity or its pleasure.
If you have never been treated by a professional therapist for this abuse you will never properly put it behind you.
If you would like help finding a therapist trained in this area of abuse then I suggest you call this number: 1-800-656-Hope. This is the hotline number for RAINN, which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. The call takers are all volunteers trained to help you and help you find the professional in your home town who can work with you to put this abuse in its proper place.
The abuse happened, that's factual and I am so very sorry that it happened to you. No one who has suffered any type of abuse is truly capable of properly dealing with it on their own. We cannot hide from it and pretend it didn't happen. In fact just the opposite is required. We must realize it did happen, find away to properly deal with it and bring closure. Then and only then can we go on with are lives and live a more normal life.
I believe the rape dreams you are having are not fantasies but a product of the abuse resurfacing. Again my unprofessional thinking as I am not a trained psychologist.
Please call the number I gave you for RAINN and get some professional help. You will feel much better and have a better life sexually and otherwise if you do.
My family always asks me this question ... The dont understand why I don't like the world ... I
Not always mad only with her .. My mom I guess ... But how do I get over this how do I get help ? Is there med.s ??? Im 16 & I've cut myself more than once but what can they do is there anything that can help me I don't understand ? If I tell them whats going to happen with I go to jail , go into a rehab thingy , take pills ... ? Idk what will happen
First things first; you cannot be sent to jail for being mad at th world. TO be sent to rehab you have to be very sick and being mad at the world sound more like being a typical 16 year old teenager than being very sick.
Yes, typically teenager do get mad at the world, it's a hormonal thing a teenager goes through while going through puberty. Now the cutting is not typical and could be a sigh of teenage depression. Don't go all hyper at the word depression. Teenage depression is also caused by the hormonal imbalance brought on by puberty usually easily correctable with medication and talk therapy. Back in the dark days of your grandparents teenage years this was looked at as a phase we would grow out of. Today we know better and doctors can help you.
As to what you should do. You should tell mom and dad about your cutting. This is not typical teenage behavior and should cause them to stop yelling and see that you are in need of a doctors care.
You do not have to tell either of your parents, all though I don't suggest you don't tell them. At 16 you have medical confidentiality and can seek a doctors care without their knowledge or consent. Anything you say to or are treated for by any doctor or medical practitioner is strictly confidential and may only be released by you upon written permission to that practitioner. This includes your parents.
What is happening to you is not normal though is quite common among teenagers today. This is not something that you will grow out of or can help yourself with. You need the help of your doctor and possibly a talk therapist.
I can't stress enough how important it is that you tell mom and dad about your cutting. I expect once you do a whole new dynamic will happen in your relationship with them. They will want to help you get help.
While your deciding on what path to follow if you get an overwhelming urge to cut; DON'T. Instead pick up the phone and dial 911 or your areas emergency number. Cutting is dangerous and can be a life threatening emergency. Calling for help is the proper thing to do. Tell the call taker that you are a cutter, that you feel the need to cut yourself and you need help. The call taker will send the proper help to your home, even if mom and dad are home.
I found an absolutely disgusting website, www.ghettogaggers.com
Among other things, it says that black,hispanic women are crack babies,calls these women derogatory,racist names and this website's owner is clearly a racist and has no respect for black,hispanic women should be shut down and or sued right away,adult film is one thing when it is tasteful,but this is not tasteful porn.
I wish you luck in trying to shut that site down. I agree with you it is disgusting. Unfortunately technology, and this includes the web, is way out in front of lawmakers. At the moment unless the site is breaking some law it is protected by the First Amendment of the Constitution.
I agree with you that racism has no place in today's society. I commend you for wanting to do something about blatant racism when you see it. I just have no clue as to how to go about it in this instance.
Me and my brother have NEVER gotten along at all really. We don't care much for each other one way or another. He is bipolar as well as the rest of my family. My oldest brother and I are the only ones who aren't.(Yes I know what bipolar-ism is.)
Yet anytime anything bad happens to the brother I've come to not care for I feel horrible. Like just today, he ordered a new cell phone and waited forever for it due to horrible shipping and horrid salesman work. He was excited to have it today. When he opened the package it didn't work. He looked so disappointed, to the point he even looked as if he just didn't wanna talk to anyone.
Suddenly I get this deep horrid feeling it's my fault when I consciously know I've done NOTHING wrong. I have no idea why. I just wish I could make it where he was no longer disappointed. But I can't and it feels like shit.
I think I know how you feel. Growing up in a family who suffer from bipolar disorder can be very trying on those who do not suffer from the disorder. The highs and lows of the disorder are like the worst roller coaster ride one has ever been on. It's great when someone suffering from bipolar is on a high. It is horrible when they are in a low.
It is not that you do not have any feelings for your brother, the fact is you do or you would not have written. Your feeling though are not the all warm and fuzzy feelings you would like to have because of his illness. When he is on a high he is probably a joy to be around, but you also know that the low is coming it is just a matter of when. Its like waiting for the other shoe to fall. When you saw the look on his face when the phone didn't work you knew this could trigger the low in him and that is a ride that no one enjoys.
The deep horrid feeling you got was not that you did anything wrong, it was because you knew what was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it. This has an effect on you as well, that was what you were feeling. Not guilt, not that your caused anything to go wrong, you just couldn't stand what you knew was about to happen with him.
There is an organization called NAMI: National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. They have a 24 hr hotline 1-877-331-2545 you can call to get a listing of support groups in your area. I would suggest you do so. By meeting and talking to others who are facing the same problems as you are you can gain strength and insight into how to better handle situations and feel better about yourself.
All to often we beat ourselves up when we are unable to provide for a loved one in a manner we feel is proper, even when the situation is well beyond our abilities. This I believe is the situation you are presently facing. You will find strength, love, help and support in this type of groups. Below is the link to their home page.
http://www.pendulum.org/supportgroups.html
Hey doc about 2 mths ago I had bv. Took the medicine and got it again the next mth. Took the medicine then bout 2weeks later had yeast infection went to the emerg room they say it was yeast infection. Next day I get a bump like a pimple the another so that's 2 last a week then go away then I had sex week later I get like A rug burn sore on outside of vagina and outside of rectum no blood no scabs last bout a week then gone. What is this?
There are so many different types and mutations of STDs out there that it would both be wrong and impossible for me to make any type of guess as to what may be your problem. I'm not a doctor and none of us on this site are. Even if any of us where; without examining you, taking a scraping for testing if necessary, how could we make a proper diagnoses.
The best way for you to get a proper diagnoses is to see a gynecologist. Emergency room doctors are good for emergency situations. Situations when and where you cannot see you family doctor or specialist. For a persistent problem such as this it is best to see a doctor who is familiar with you medical history.
If you are in need of immediate relief and cannot get an emergency appointment with your family doctor or specialist, then yes go to a 24 hr clinic or emergency room. Then follow up with your own doctor or specialist.
Asking us what we think it is will not cure you. There are no over the counter drugs that I am aware of that will cure and STD, if that is what you have. Also while your symptoms could be the same as someone else's that does not mean you have the same problem.
My advise is to see your doctor before any permanent harm is done.
My best friend had expressed fondness for me for a long time and coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship i thought i needed someone who would treat me nicely for once. As soon as we started dating i realized we had zero chemistry. He clearly still had strong feelings for me though. He got super clingy and would show up at my house and text all my friends asking if i said anything about him. I might be a commitment-phobe, but clingy-ness scares me so much and I told him i wanted to just be friends and he wouldn't take my answer seriously. I ran into him again at a bar (pretty sure he followed me there actually) and he told me he couldn't go back to just being friends i told him i couldn't do it anymore. I thought that was that but a mutual friend told me that he continues to tell people we are an item and he plans to stop by my work tomorrow my shift as a surprise. I dont know what to do. I want my FRIEND back and as much as i tell him i only can be friends with him he won't listen. What do I do?
If you want to try letting him down without outright hurting his feelings try telling him; "I think of you more like my brother than a boyfriend."
That statement should tell him exactly where he stands with you. As a brother or a sister as the case may be you are telling the admirer that there can never be anything more than a family type relationship between you. Sure we can hangout together if we aren't doing anything, watch TV or whatever we feel like doing together but it will always be platonic.
If after telling him this, he still doesn't get it; a retraining order may be your only solution.
Okay so I'm a 15 year old girl. I am involved in many sports and I love being active! But within the past hm let's say, 2 or 3 months I have been extremelyyy paranoid & having anxiety beyond a normal point. The reason is because I met this boy this year & we started doing things (sexual things) that I do deeply regret..he wasn't the only one though.it was anothr boy also..I never ever ever had sex though!! He tried havin like Buttsex with me but it hurt so bad & it was in there for like not even a second & I told him no this isn't happeneing. (that was only with one of the boys) but since then I have gotten all of my periods except for 2months ago I jut had like brown spotting (I didn't do anythig b4that period tho bec I stopped talking to him) & then this month I got it normal but it was like 4 or 5 days late just as it Always is. I know u can't get pregant w/out having sex but I'm just so paranoid that I am pregant even tho I took 2 preg tests one night around 6. I'm just wing really paranid about it all. I used to do abb wrkouts all the time but I haver done them in like 3weeks ao now when I do like a backbend there's kinda a tiny tiny lump in between my uterus & belly button So I just don't know if it's fat (bec the lump is just soft skin) or something else!! Also, my period just ended about 5 days ago & I'm having mild pains in both of my ovaries. I am also hungry a lot bec I don't eat that much anymore bec I'm sonparand about my stomach getting bigger.. Any idea what's going on?
DoktorTammy gave you a lot of good information. I would suggest you take her advice and stop your worries as I too believe your stressing is causing most of your problems.
Being 15 and having any type sex, with all the possible consequences is the major cause of your problem. Unless sperm somehow gets into your vagina there is no way you can get pregnant from anal sex, oral sex, masturbation, or kissing. I think that about covers all the myths.
I believe you know having sex at your age is wrong. You did so most likely to satisfy your boyfriends desire. Whether you where coerced or cojoled into doing so is wrong. You should never feel complelled or allow yourself to be forced to do anything you don't want to do; be it something sexual or anything else just to satisfy someone else.
There is nothing wrong with waiting until your older to have seual relations. Sexual relations is and are something that is very beautiful when it happens between two consenting adults. Today it is not just pregnancy that one must worry about when entering into a sexual relationship. There is a host of STDs that must be contended with as well.
The older you are the more knowledge you build and the better you are able to protect yourself. If you are going to enter into a sexual relationship with someone it is proper today for both of you to first be tested. While it is possible for someone your age to be tested it is harder to do so know then when your 18 or older.
Consider how worried you are today when you basicly you did nothing to cause a pregancy. Remeber this the next time you consider having sex; then deside if it is something you really want to do or if you are doing so only to keep the boy happy and keep him as a boyfriend. Then consider not having sex and waiting until your older.
I'm turning 20 and I want to spend it with a couple of friends in New York City. What is there to do?
I grew up just outside the city on Long Island. As the saying goes; NYC is a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there and I haven't for quite some time.
Visiting NYC and what to do there really depends on how much money you have to spend. Lodging in the city is expensive, but something one should do once in their life time, especially if you want to take in any Broadway show which also is expensive, although matinees are less expensive, again being a once in a life time experience.
Less expensive things to do would be visiting some of the museums, Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall, Katz's Deli, South Side Sea port. Soho is also a good place to visit as is the Empire Sate Building, The Statue of Liberty, The U N Building and a Cruise up the Hudson. Of course this all depends on how long you plan to stay as well.
If your stay is just over night and you are on a tight budget I would suggest: plan on visiting the Statue of Liberty, The Empire State building, the U N and the South Side sea port. In the evening you can have dinner at Katz's Deli, see a show at Radio City Music Hall then go across the street for Ice Cream at Schraffts in Rockefeller center. Cental Park is also a nice place to visit during the day but stay out of the park at night.
Happy Birthday
I'm 15 And Pregnant I Just Found Out And I'm 14 Weeks And My Mom Wants Me To Get An Abortion But Yes I Don't Want The Abortion But The Thing Is... I Haven't Told My Dad Cause He'll Kick Me And My Mom Out Of The House And We'll Have No Where To Go? No Family We Have Here Where We Live So It's Hard On Us She's Really Mad At Me And The Father And The Baby's Daddy Is Still In The Picture And Wants The Baby No Matter What But My Mom Wants To Put A Restraining Order Against Him Since He Is 17 We're 2 Years And 8 Months Apart And She Wants To Get Him For Rape Which Isn't True, But Me And The Father Want The Baby It's Just My Parents Opinion. And If He Gets Put Away Again It'll Be For 6 Years I Don't Want That For Our Baby And Not Have Our Baby Grow Up Without A Dad Or Aleast Knowing His/Her Daddy. What Can I Do??? :|
DoktorTammy and DangerNerd have given you a lot of good advice. I will back up their advice on the fact that you cannot be forced to have an abortion. There are laws in place to protect you.
There are a lot of things in play here. Your mother can get a restraining order to keep him away from her and your home, though she has to have cause to do so. As for statutory rape, that will depend on the laws in your state. Your boyfriend has one strike against him having a criminal Juvenile record. If convicted of statutory rape he may be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. While juvenile criminal records are sealed sex offenders lists are not so this would be a serious problem for him for the rest of his life.
I also agree with DangerNerd in that as parents we often say one thing as a deterrent but when faced with the reality of a situation react differently. I have serious reservations about your father kicking you, your mother and his future grandchild out into the cold.
Should your father kick you out or should you truly believe he would do so there are services and protections for you and your baby. You can start by doing the following:
Go see a legal aid attorney to see just what your legal rights are and what legal services they can provide for you. Then let them do what they can for you and you should follow any advice they give you.
After seeing the attorney you need to go child protective services. This is the organization that has the legal right and responsibility to protect you and your unborn baby. You should tell them everything you have told us.
While I will support your right not to have an abortion or to be forced to have an abortion. I would like to ask you to think about an other alternative.
While having a baby is probably one of the most joyful time in a persons life. Raising a child is one of the hardest jobs anyone will ever do. It is hard enough for an adult who is financially secure; it will many times harder for you.
Ask yourself this question; Is it the best to raise this child myself knowing that I may not be able to supply everything he/she needs? Will I be asking my child to pay for my mistake by forcing him/her to live in possible poverty?
If the answer to these question is yes, then I ask you to consider putting the child up for adoption. This may not be what is right for you; the question is by putting the baby up for adoption is it the right thing to do for him or her?
The state adoption service will see to it that the adoptive parents have all the things parents should have to provide for a child. The things that you don't have. They will see to it that the adoptive parents have a good home, are financially secure, can provide proper health care, clean clothes and all the things a child need to grow up strong and become a positive member of society. Is adoption what is best for the child?
If you agree that adoption will give your baby the best start in life. Then this is an option you need to explore with the legal aid attorney and child services. This is not a decision that needs to be made now. You have two more trimesters to finalize a decision to put the baby up for adoption.
Okay so out of nowhere a couple of weeks ago my feet like started tingling & stuff & it's pretty annoying! I was reading online that your feet can start to tingle if you hurt your back or nerves in your back or something & my lower back has been hurting bec I thinknibhurt it from how I've been cracking it..I need to crack my back though or else it will start hurting really bad...but yeah I'm just kind of confused!! What so you do think is going on?
I know the feeling your having and you are correct that you may have injured or pinched a nerve. You may want to visit a neurosurgeon. Yea I Know you think neurosurgeon you think brain surgery, so did I. A neurosurgeon is also responsible for injuries to the spinal cord, if that is what your problem truly is.
The doctor will most likely order and MRI so it can be seen if a nerve or the spinal cord is being infringed on. If it is this does not always mean surgery. Many times the problem can be helped with muscle strengthening exercises in physical therapy.
You will never know for sure until you see a doctor. I suggest a Neurosurgeon, although an orthopedic spinal surgeon will also be a good choice.
Or do you just drink the lemonade and eat vegetables & fruits? It says no solid foods are allowed to be eaten and supplements. Does that mean I just drink lemonade with pepper all day?
The following is taken from, "From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia" about the Master Cleanse Diet."
There is no scientific evidence that it removes any "toxins," or that this diet achieves anything beyond temporary weight loss. Though unlikely to be harmful over the short term, it can be harmful over the long term.
Proponents claim that the Master Cleanse is a way to cleanse the body of various "toxins," and eliminate cravings for drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food, "Coffee, tea, and various hot drinks."[1] The cleanse involves drinking only a mixture of purified water, fresh lemon juice, grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper, as well as a laxative tea and/or a saline solution to flush out the lower gastrointestinal system. No solid food is eaten for the entire cleanse.
For people in good health, the body eliminates toxins through the lungs, kidneys, liver, and other eliminator organs. Nutritionist Jane Clarke points to a lack of essential nutrients in this program, citing a deficiency of protein, vitamins, and minerals in the regimen. As a result of these deficiencies, including far fewer calories than the recommended amount for health and optimum functioning, individuals on the diet may experience weight loss, headaches and a variety of other symptoms in the short term and the diet is potentially harmful over the long term. The diet can also cause damage to the body's metabolism, creating a 'rebound' effect after the diet, wherein, because the body has entered starvation mode, it takes all new food the body takes in and converts it to the body's fat stores immediately. For this reason, the diet can be followed by dramatic weight gain.
Link to entire article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Cleanse
To me this is just another fad diet that can do more harm then good and at best result in only a temporary weight loss.
The proper way to diet for any significant weight loss is to first check in with your doctor for a physical and a proper weight target. Then supervised by your doctor and with proper dieting advice visit a nutritionist for meal planning and diet advice. Exercise is also helpful and even necessary in any weight loss program. Most community gyms have a personal trainer who can offer you advice on proper exercise.
This way takes longer but is the only tried and true way to loose weight without endangering your health.
Can I eat apples and stuff?
The following is taken from, "From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia" about the Master Cleanse Diet."
There is no scientific evidence that it removes any "toxins," or that this diet achieves anything beyond temporary weight loss. Though unlikely to be harmful over the short term, it can be harmful over the long term.
Proponents claim that the Master Cleanse is a way to cleanse the body of various "toxins," and eliminate cravings for drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food, "Coffee, tea, and various hot drinks."[1] The cleanse involves drinking only a mixture of purified water, fresh lemon juice, grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper, as well as a laxative tea and/or a saline solution to flush out the lower gastrointestinal system. No solid food is eaten for the entire cleanse.
For people in good health, the body eliminates toxins through the lungs, kidneys, liver, and other eliminator organs. Nutritionist Jane Clarke points to a lack of essential nutrients in this program, citing a deficiency of protein, vitamins, and minerals in the regimen. As a result of these deficiencies, including far fewer calories than the recommended amount for health and optimum functioning, individuals on the diet may experience weight loss, headaches and a variety of other symptoms in the short term and the diet is potentially harmful over the long term. The diet can also cause damage to the body's metabolism, creating a 'rebound' effect after the diet, wherein, because the body has entered starvation mode, it takes all new food the body takes in and converts it to the body's fat stores immediately. For this reason, the diet can be followed by dramatic weight gain.
Link to entire article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Cleanse
To me this is just another fad diet that can do more harm then good and at best result in only a temporary weight loss.
The proper way to diet for any significant weight loss is to first check in with your doctor for a physical and a proper weight target. Then supervised by your doctor and with proper dieting advice visit a nutritionist for meal planning and diet advice. Exercise is also helpful and even necessary in any weight loss program. Most community gyms have a personal trainer who can offer you advice on proper exercise.
This way takes longer but is the only tried and true way to loose weight without endangering your health.
Let me start off by being brief, I'm a girl and I will be sixteen in a few months, so I will be a sophmore. There is this guy who is going to be a senoir at my school, and we hungout last night. I've only done a few things like giving head or being fingered with two guys; close boyfriends. We made out, and he ended up fingering me. Lately, it feels weird to pee and it has a very strong scent...what could be wrong?!
It is very possible that one of your boyfriends left you with a gift you never asked for, such as an STD. It also could be just a coincidence and you have a UTI or yeast infection. Not being doctors and not being able to examine you none of us can say for sure just what is happening with you.
You need to see a doctor, preferably your gynecologist. At your age you have medical confidentiality. This means you can be open and truthful with your doctor with full knowledge that none of what is discussed or what you are eventually treated for can get back to your parents without your written permission to release any medical information to anyone. This is by law and the law is called HIPPA.
My advice is that you make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible.