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What Can I Do When I'm 15 An Pregnant?.....
I'm 15 And Pregnant I Just Found Out And I'm 14 Weeks And My Mom Wants Me To Get An Abortion But Yes I Don't Want The Abortion But The Thing Is... I Haven't Told My Dad Cause He'll Kick Me And My Mom Out Of The House And We'll Have No Where To Go? No Family We Have Here Where We Live So It's Hard On Us She's Really Mad At Me And The Father And The Baby's Daddy Is Still In The Picture And Wants The Baby No Matter What But My Mom Wants To Put A Restraining Order Against Him Since He Is 17 We're 2 Years And 8 Months Apart And She Wants To Get Him For Rape Which Isn't True, But Me And The Father Want The Baby It's Just My Parents Opinion. And If He Gets Put Away Again It'll Be For 6 Years I Don't Want That For Our Baby And Not Have Our Baby Grow Up Without A Dad Or Aleast Knowing His/Her Daddy. What Can I Do??? :|
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
I am only 13 but have the same problem I don't know what you should do but don't do an abortion my sister had one and she is now living in depression. Just my advice not much help but good luck
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DoktorTammy and DangerNerd have given you a lot of good advice. I will back up their advice on the fact that you cannot be forced to have an abortion. There are laws in place to protect you.
There are a lot of things in play here. Your mother can get a restraining order to keep him away from her and your home, though she has to have cause to do so. As for statutory rape, that will depend on the laws in your state. Your boyfriend has one strike against him having a criminal Juvenile record. If convicted of statutory rape he may be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. While juvenile criminal records are sealed sex offenders lists are not so this would be a serious problem for him for the rest of his life.
I also agree with DangerNerd in that as parents we often say one thing as a deterrent but when faced with the reality of a situation react differently. I have serious reservations about your father kicking you, your mother and his future grandchild out into the cold.
Should your father kick you out or should you truly believe he would do so there are services and protections for you and your baby. You can start by doing the following:
Go see a legal aid attorney to see just what your legal rights are and what legal services they can provide for you. Then let them do what they can for you and you should follow any advice they give you.
After seeing the attorney you need to go child protective services. This is the organization that has the legal right and responsibility to protect you and your unborn baby. You should tell them everything you have told us.
While I will support your right not to have an abortion or to be forced to have an abortion. I would like to ask you to think about an other alternative.
While having a baby is probably one of the most joyful time in a persons life. Raising a child is one of the hardest jobs anyone will ever do. It is hard enough for an adult who is financially secure; it will many times harder for you.
Ask yourself this question; Is it the best to raise this child myself knowing that I may not be able to supply everything he/she needs? Will I be asking my child to pay for my mistake by forcing him/her to live in possible poverty?
If the answer to these question is yes, then I ask you to consider putting the child up for adoption. This may not be what is right for you; the question is by putting the baby up for adoption is it the right thing to do for him or her?
The state adoption service will see to it that the adoptive parents have all the things parents should have to provide for a child. The things that you don't have. They will see to it that the adoptive parents have a good home, are financially secure, can provide proper health care, clean clothes and all the things a child need to grow up strong and become a positive member of society. Is adoption what is best for the child?
If you agree that adoption will give your baby the best start in life. Then this is an option you need to explore with the legal aid attorney and child services. This is not a decision that needs to be made now. You have two more trimesters to finalize a decision to put the baby up for adoption.
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In my honest opinion, I agree with your mother. It is your choice of course but I beg you to consider these things:
at 15, your young and be serious about how you will get a job if you miss your exams and school for having a child, yes you can apply to night-collages but not for a while yet.
Similarly, a baby costs A LOT, diapers, toys, cribs, they get ill easily, doctors check ups everything adds up and unless some charitable person decides to pay for everything its unlikly you will afford it
Also, you are 15, yes it might seem fun to have a little baby and play happy families but when your 18/21 I bet you will want to go out, hang with friends. They might stand by you, but I am sure the friends you have now would rather have a girls night out than a coffee at daycare.
there are a lot of issues to deal with and I would consider them very carefully, if you have family support it may be easier but if your father would honestly disown you I think you need very very careful consideration. Also, be warned of the usual excuse men use when they're bored of a child:
"It's not mine. I'm not paying child support."
I wish you luck
x
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Dear "What Can I Do When I'm 15 An Pregnant?.....",
Protect that baby with your life! I would get out of your house and away from your parents.
It is against the law for your parents to force this one you. I checked and if you get Child Protective Services involved, they will remove you from your parent's custody, immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week, but immediately. You can stay in a maternity house, or possibly request to be placed in the custody of your boyfriend's parents.
I contacted the government and I was told that since the sex was consensual, and both of you are minors, your parents cannot legally charge your boyfriend with rape. He is not 18 yet. I was also told that all of the advice I have given so far is accurate, by law.
You can save yourself and this baby. It is against the law for your parents to force this one you.
They need to be told that.
Even if they force you into the abortion clinic, the doctor cannot abort the baby if you tell him that this is forced on you. By law the doctor must stop what he is doing and contact the police on your behalf.
Tell your mother that you are having this baby, with or without her blessing. Tell her if she tries to stop you, force an abortion on you, or abandon you with an unborn baby, you will call the police and have both parents arrested for child endangerment. Tell her you have already talked to a 'legal' counselor about this.
She is responsible for your actions until you are 18 years old. She will either support you until then, or she will go to jail. If your father tries to kick anyone out, he will go to jail too.
Here are a few links for you to browse regarding important choices that you will have to make for your baby. Make wise and informed choices and your baby will be happy and healthy.
Bill Gates talking about killing billions of people with health care and vaccines in this link . . [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Riki Lake produced a movie called "the business of being born."
You should try to acquire this movie from Netflix, or some other source. It will explain to you why you do not want to have your baby in a hospital.
Here is link that will explain birth contracts, social security contracts and the like.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Protect your baby from the government too.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Peace and love be with you and your new baby.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
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It is nice to see someone who actually wants to take responsibility for their own actions. Congratulations on that.
Your mother is probably afraid that she will be the one raising the baby, and she isn't up for that... so you are going to have to convince her that you are going to actually do all the work that is involved in raising kids.
Now, you might be surprised how this is going to go over with your dad when you tell him.
Parents tell their kids that they will be out on their butt if they get pregnant... but they usually do this to try to keep you from doing something incredibly stupid.
Once you have done the incredibly stupid thing, however, things can change. Don't expect him to be proud of you for screwing up this badly. He is probably going to be very ashamed of you for a while, and can you blame him?
When you have a daughter who is pregnant at your age, everyone thinks you are bad parents. Many of their adult friends will be making fun of them, or simply won't associate with them any more because they don't want your bad influence to rub off on their kids.
I tell you all that, not to make you feel bad, but to help you understand that what YOU have decided to do (get pregnant) doesn't just change YOUR life.
Your entire family is going to be changing, and you need to be understanding of your parents heartbreak and disappointment.
Now for the good news: Babies have an amazing effect on parents. In about a year, when the baby is the light of their lives, and they are happy to be grandparents... things will be better, if your parents are like most.
The bad news: if your boyfriend is charged with statutory rape, it is very serious.
You see you are too young to legally make ANY decisions. This means that you cannot LEGALLY agree to have sex with anyone. If he is almost 18, then things are going to look very bad for him. He will need a good lawyer.
Your mom may be threatening this in order to force you into an abortion... but getting an abortion will not stop her from pressing these charges, so don't do that thinking it will save him. It won't.
The minute he had sex with you, he volunteered to go to prison. He will also probably be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life. He may have to go away for a while, but if he is the guy you think he is, then when he gets out, you three may be able to be a family again.
The most important thing to remember in all of this:
Your parents are going to be angry. They have a right to be angry. You have seriously let them down.
They WILL get over the shame, and the disappointment.
Give them a little time, and soon enough the baby will win them over. It happens all the time.
Thank you for owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility.
P.S. Go to the doctor and get started on pre-natal vitamins. Pre-natal care makes all the difference in the world. Take care of the baby you decided to create, and your parents will one day be proud of you again when they see what a great job you have done. :-)
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It's your baby and your body
If you don't want to get an abortion you have the right not too, If you want to keep it know that it will be a long and very difficult road for you. I don't believe in abortions personally but I do believe in adoption when someone is pregnant and very young.........
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If you dont want an abortion dont get it. That is your baby and your choice. If you want to keep your baby also that is your baby and your choice. And tell your mother that. I find it wrong that she is trying to make you kill your baby. Yes you are only 15 and too young to have a baby, but you can do it. You are going to have to grow up real fast I was 16 when I got pregnant but I was also married. And I was 17 when I had my son it makes you grow up fast but if thisis what you want you will find a way to make it work out. Good luck and congrats on the baby
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The thing I found most wrong with your question is how many times your mother keeps cropping up with her opinion, while it is helpful the fact is that in 10-20 years time you'll be one feel guilty about if you in through with it. But don't be thinking that having the baby will make everything great between you and the dad or that you'll be happy for the first 3 years you'll lose your and at your age ppsd is a high likely hood. Besides from helping raise my bro and sis its worth it once their older
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Hi there,
This was already asked here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I would suggest you create an account here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
so you get e-mails each time your question is answered.
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