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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I have had a problem for 8 years now with self harm. It started out with a small case of bullemia...when i had to get 2 teethe pulled from the issue, i began anorexia. I would starve and pass out. When I turned 15 i began cutting myself. I have slowed the cutting down to once a week...but am replacing it with other problems. (picking at myself, damaging my personal belongings, socially withdrawing myself,etc.) but of all these years the 7 other people in my family have not noticed. i do not want to tell them cause they are all jerks, and i have no friends or anyone else in my life i can talk too. I ust turned 18 and chest pain, crying, sadness, emotional distress, self harm. It just needs to go away. what can i do its hopless.
Help is a phone call away. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.
Don't let the name get to you. You have a crisis issue were you are trying to harm yourself. You may not be trying to commit suicide but what you are doing to yourself is just as harmful. The people at the crisis hotline will put you in touch with professional help in your town who can help you overcome the problems causing you to harm yourself.
I HATE MY LIFE ! 13 yr old girl. Okay soooo all of my relationship questions have been about the same guy . Well we went out 3 times the 3rd time i broke up with him and i am a dumb ass for doing that ! And i realize that i cant be without him and i am trying not o pick up a knife and cut my arm up but truthfully thats where im headed i need advice as soon as possible ! Can someone just tell me what to do please im on my last thread of string :(
Young love, back in my day parents called this "Puppy Love". It is kind of love with training wheels. Your 13 years old, this is a first love and I'm fairly sure it will not be your last love. What you have to learn right now is to accept that these young teenage romances are more of a learning experience for when the real thing comes along.
What really concerns me though is how hard you are taking this and the thoughts you are having. These are not good thoughts and not the way you should be reacting to a break up especially if you are the one that broke up with him.
The fact that you are writing us tells me for some reason you do not want to talk with your mom and dad about these things. Why you don't want to you haven't said. This is really the type of question a young girl should talk to their mom about including the fact that you feel bad enough to want to cut yourself. Fact is mom was once your age and can remember what first loves were all about and how they felt. She is the best person to talk to about something like this. If mom isn't available, an Aunt or Grandmother can help you.
I'm not a doctor but I am a parent, Uncle and Grandparent who feels that something is missing in your life that you are trying to replace through this relationship.
Another do you can do is to :Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.
The fact that you feel the need to cut yourself puts you in crisis; these people can help you. Please call them.
I have been sexually active for about six years now. 2yrs into my sex life, I learned to climax with a vibrator. When I climax,I have to have my legs out straight and clench my whole body. I've never been with a man who has a penis to brag about, but last night, things got heated between me and a new guy and we ended up having sex. I have never seen a penis as large as his in my life, not even in porn. My Gspot was definitely stimulated, but I was not able to climax. Does anyone have advice on how to climax during sex? (I am a woman.) I feel like I now have 'the right tools' but I wasn't able to.
DearAbby92 advice is good, there is nothing wrong with two people instructing each other in there likes and dislikes in any relationship be it sex or something else. This is how a relationship grows.
As to your problem with climaxing during sex. This is just a guess on my part; though based on your description of your masturbation climaxes, my guess is you are more clitoral than vaginal in your stimulation.
My suggestion is that you and your boyfriend find a position that allows either you or him to give more stimulation to your clitoris during sex.
One such position is a variation on the missionary position which is called, I'm sorry to say, the whores nightmare. Instead of you having your legs spread and your boyfriend penetrating you. Once your boyfriend has penetrated you, you have him place his legs out side yours allowing you to close your legs. This will allow you to clench your body as you do during masturbation.
Why is this position called the who's nightmare? This position puts more stimulation on your clitoris.
So, I'm 16 years old. When I was 4 years old I got a tiny splinter. I pulled most of it out back then. But I left a small piece. It never hurt. Its still in my hand, its aprox. less than 2mm. It can pass as a tiny birth mark. Can it harm me? Its not stiff anymore, I can't feel it, and its slowly starting to fade. Once in a blue moon I get a sewing needle & scrape skin off of the area. That gets rid of a bit of it. But can this little splinter harm me? Will it eventually fall out as dead skin?
After all this time, 12 years, I would assume if was going to cause you any harm it would of done so by know. The bodies own defence mechanism has probably already destroyed most if not all of the splinter and what you see in your hand is not the splinter but the build of cells that surrounded that invader.
If your concerned about this I would suggest the next time you have s reason to visit your doctor ask about it. Show the doctor the area in question and let the doctor make a decision as to what to do.
Hello my soldier is coming home in November and I was wondering if you knew any good coming home songs. I want to make him a C.D but need some songs. Doesn't matter the genre just nothing metal please. Thanks you guys are all great!
Being somewhat older, you can make that a lot older than today's soldier, I'm not really into today's music as much as he may be. Based on coming home from my own war, some 40+ years ago; I can tell you what he will be looking for.
First and foremost he wants to wrap himself in the loving arms of his wife or girlfriend and his family. He then needs time to adjust to life at home again. It seems with every war we find bigger and more cruel ways to maim and kill one another and he will need time to clear his head of all that he may have endured.
Your soldier will want to do things on his own schedule so please don't push him to jump in where he left off. As the saying goes time heals all wounds and he will need that time to heal. You need to be there for him and to help him heal. If you do need to push him it may be to seek help for any signs of PTSD he may show.
Other than that just enjoy having him home with you. On a more personal note if you would pass along to him my thanks for his service to his country I would appreciate it. His sacrifice is appreciated.
I have a very severe panic attack and anxiety disorder. I'm very bubbly and social when I'm comfortable, but most times my disorders make me nervous and its hard for me to associate with new people. I have a few very good friends but I really want to make more friends. I already take medication but I don't know how to socialize because I get so nervous and end up being shy. Please help me. Does anyone know what I can do?
I believe you will find your answer in talk therapy with a psychologist trained in anxiety disorders. Most anxiety disorders have something to do with a deep seated scare or trauma.
An example of this is myself when I was a very young child my mother scared me into being terrified of all dogs large and small. She thought she was keeping me safe; instead she put me at risk way into my adult years.
We all tell are children never to talk to strangers. Just how your parents instilled this in you may be partially the problem with your anxiety towards strangers.
Working with a therapist very possibly will get to the cause of the problem where medication only deals with the problem but does nothing to cure the problem.
Hello, I'm 19. My names Megan.
I'm here to simply ask; just how important is sex? Me and my current boyfriend work nicely except the sex part. Our bodies make it difficult to have intercourse. I'm not saying we're fat. But he is heavier than me. And I've had heavier boyfriends. But, it's just so difficult to do it, that I'm not even sure it's worth trying to do.
I try talking to him about it, but what can he really do about it?
It bothers me, doesn't really effect him. I'm a lot more experienced than him.
I just. Need to know where to go from this?
Everyone places different importance on sex. For young people sex is usually very important as it is the most intimate part of a relationship. For older partners sex becomes less important as the relationship has evolved to a higher level.
Your boyfriend may be aware that his weight is a problem and is even causing you pain during sex. This could be the reason for any reluctance on his part. There are different sexual position you could try that would make sex more enjoyable and comfortable for both of you.
Below are two websites I found that detail different positions overweight people may find more enjoyable for sex. One of the nicer things about sex is learning about each others likes and dislikes. Experimentation can be fun as long as both parties consent and understand stop means stop and no means no. When two people experiment as long as both consent and no one gets hurt, nothing is off limits.
What I'm saying is you don't have to give up on sex, especially if it is something you feel you need and want. You just have to adapt to what you find comfortable which is something we all have to do regardless of our body types.
http://www.skinful.com/erotica/overweight1.htm
http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/sexual-positions-for-obese-couples
I'm starting college in about a month and I don't know what to do about my situation! Please Help Me.
Okay, so i am from a small rural town. But i am moving about 3 hours away to college. the thing is, that it's more city like over there! And the thing that i am scared about is not fitting in by the way that i dress. i usually wear boots, wranglers, t-shirts and john deer sweatshirts cause i am a country girl at heart
My suggestion is that you remain being you. When a person tries to be something they are not they come off as being false or mocking others.
People need to get to know the real you. There will be others at the college from different parts of the state and the country who will all dres differently. You will all have a uniqueness about you that goes into making up the unique atmosphere of a college campus.
That being said there are times that you are going to want to adjust you dress style to be more traditional. These would be for college mixers, the Deans welcome party and professors socials; if they are still called that. For everyday wear just be yourself and you will fit right in with the other students.
I spent a long weekend with my boyfriend but we couldn't afford much food so I lived for 3 days on 2 bags of maltessers from a vending machine (chocolate). anyway, I'm on the pill and had literally just finished my first 7 day break so was starting the second strip, except on the third day when we were coming back home, he had something to do so i sat waiting for a few hours and suddenly I felt really sick and had to run to throw up. I was fine that morning it wasn't until I had been sat waiting for a long time. we had had sex the night before but he never finishes inside me.
Anyway so I was feeling poorley and had some water but I still felt quite bad and was shakey, when we got outside and started walking again I felt much better but then we got on a bus and i felt it coming back, that was the last time though.
He thinks it was a sort of panic reaction because I get very nervous about traveling and it was my first time away from my mum so that makes sense plus I hadn't eaten pretty much anything decent for a while and by the afternoon I felt much better and was back to being myself (he bought me some chips and chicken when he had finished and I had a drink I am more used to as I don't drink much water normally).
So my question is, was I poorley for the reasons he thinks or could it be something serious? it was about three days ago and I havn't gone back to feeling bad since then, especially now I am home with my mum again.
Thankyou ^^
None of us are doctors and even if we were we could not make a diagnoses over the web. To make a proper diagnoses one must be examined by a doctor.
The question you asked would be hard to answer even with proper medical training. Whatever symptoms you had have passed, your feeling better so whatever was bothering you may have just been a passing malady.
A change in diet, anxiety over traveling, are factors that could have contributed to how you were feeling. It also could have been something in the junk food that didn't agree with you. It also could have been taking your birth control pill on an empty stomach. These are all possible contributors to how you felt. As you said once you ate some real food you felt better.
I, like you, can only guess at the cause. If you are still concerned, which it appears you are. Then I suggest you make an appointment with your doctor for a check-up. This would be the prudent thing to do and a check-up is never a wrong answer to a question such as the one you have asked.
Hi, I'm 27 and working in Alberta at a group home. Without going into details I was a mid-level supervisor with my "old boss". I have had a recent verbal review from my team leader which was very good, but I am supposed to have a written copy - when I ask my team leader for a copy, she says she is "getting around to it". That's been going on now for four months.
New boss arrived. As part of her "shake things up" routine I was asked to transfer to the other house in order to work the floor (and at night do paperwork, streamline documents and such). I was told then that the reason for this is due to some perceived health issues - I am not sick or stressed out although I am told that I am by my team leader and boss. I was also told that this is not a demotion.
Ok, fine, whatever. Then I was sent a letter of job offer which states that I will be getting paid at the beginning end of the wage scale for working the floor, and my "regular" rate of pay will apply at night only for as long as there are funds for it.
In the meantime, this is starting to look less like a transfer of work and more like a demotion, except for the part where I have been notified that it's a demotion. I've lost preferred break/vacation status (now i plan my days off around others) as well as other supervisory perks.
The thing is, I have not signed nor accepted the job offer letter. I was given a choice between taking the transfer and "well, you know what's coming if you don't" but at no time was it stated that I have poor work performance. I was TOLD my performance was excellent, but no written proof.
So what do I do now? I love my job and the people I work with and would quit only as a last result, but it looks like that is becoming a primary option now. Am I reading this situation right? What can I do to protect myself here?
Not being familiar with Canadian labor laws my best suggestion is that you find a lawyer who is and engage his/her services.
If your former supervisor is still employed with the company try and to complete the written review that was promised. Morally he/she owes that to you. Very possibly legally as well depending on what your employee handbook says in the section concerning employee reviews.
If you are planning to leave and still wish to take issue with this company make sure you have a copy of the handbook you were issued and all revision to give your lawyer. If the job market in Canada is anything like it is in the U.S. I would suggest staying where you are until you find a new position.
Again I am not familiar with the laws in Canada. What I can tell you is when a similar thing happened to my wife we consulted our attorney, who also just happened to be the legal line attorney for a local TV station. He told us that legally they could fire you if they didn't like the color of your eyes. Since my wife was being terminated without cause, there wording, when the lawyer called and being the legal line attorney on TV, they did not rescind her termination but they did make a very nice exit offer and provided a very gracious letter of recommendation.
This may or may not happen for you. It happened this way for my wife because the company she worked for existed primarily on federal contracts and did not want any adverse publicity. It was just coincidence that our family attorney went Hollywood on us with the local TV station. This was enough to tip the situation in our favor, at least that is what I believe.
If your company survive at all on government contract, having a lawyer contact them may work in your favor, especially if there is any type of discrimination you can claim.
How can I tell my mother I want to go to the gynecologist by myself without telling her that I'm not a virgin?
I have been to the doctor before when I had some menstrual problems earlier this year, but she didn't perform a full check-up and I lied to her about being a virgin.
The reason I ask this question is because when I went to the doctor before, my mother refused to allow me in alone. She forced me to sign the form that allowed her to accompany me.
If you are over 14 you have certain medical privacy rights as a female when it comes to your sexual&reproductive system. These rights allow you full medical privacy and confidentiality. This means your mother cannot force her presents on your medical consultation and the doctor cannot answer any of her questions about your medical exam.
You do not have to give your mom a reason but if you feel you do; just judging from what you have written I would say something like the following. "Mom we are just not close enough for me to ask you some of the question I have and I need these answers to keep myself healthy and safe." "Therefore since the law, "HIPPA, affords me the right to medical confidentiality I am invoking that privilege when it comes to my reproductive system." "I'm sorry if this upsets you but I need answer to questions to stay safe and this is the only way I know to get the correct answers". Your mother will probably get upset, which is fine. She cannot refuse to allow you to see the doctor, that would be child abuse.
I'm sorry you have to go through something like this in order to have a proper medical check-up. This is one of the reasons the HIPPA law applies to your situation. For a doctor to properly evaluate you the doctor must have a complete an accurate medical history, this would include a sexual activity history. The doctor could tell you were most likely not a virgin by the fact your hymen was missing but could not question you or council you because your mother was in the room. This was not in your medical best interest.
Just a suggestion: You may want to consider finding a doctor of your own choosing. One who you mother is not seeing as well. This will eliminate any conflict of interest for the doctor.
I'm a young 50 and he's 44. It's our first date and he's cooking dinner for me at his place. I would like to take something to him like flowers or small plant for his place. Are any of these an appropriate gift for a woman to give a man on a first date?
Thank you.
I like DangerNerds suggestion about first date safety. People our age didn't have to worry as much about first date safety as one needs too today. Please follow his advise.
As to what is appropriate to bring as a gift. Host/Hostess gifts are always appropriate. Depending on how well you know this gentleman the gift can range from a bottle of wine to go with dinner, an offer to bring dessert or something appropriate for a hobby of his.
As Dangernerd suggested other than something to add to a hobby collection/activity, I would stay away from anything that would need constant attention. When you know him better and gift exchange becomes appropriate then you can choose more appropriate gifts.
Okay so I'm 15 & I'm having like an anxiety attack right now....I went on vacation with my sister about 3 weeks ago for 2 weeks... Going out there I knew I wasn't going to want to come home bec I want to live there with her..I came home august 2nd & I was supposed to get my period august 4th & now it's august 11th and I still never got it...my periods are usually always 3-6 days late.. The only reason I am getting worried Is because when I was out there I met a bot & we were like hooking up in the pool & stuff & he would like put his penis on my vag & pretend to be doing me in the water but we didn't have sex we were just playing around & it happened a couple of times but it was only for lke 3 seconds each time & I had my bathing suits bottoms on & he had his bathing suit bottoms on & i don't think he "came" soo . But he was kinda hard.. I don't know if it was from getting turned on or from being in the pool..but I'm just worried because I still didn't get my period .. Ihave been really sad & upset & depreessed a little from being back home becaide I miss being out there and I miss the boy a lot and my parents arenon the verge of splitting up so im just havingbso much Going on..I'm also having anxiety, a lot of anxiety... Any idea what's going on with my period? Thanks!
The human body for all of its strength can also be extremely fragile. It does not take much to upset the bodies natural rhythm. With everything you have written about as to what is going on in your life I would be more surprised if you were to say your period arrives on schedule.
I seriously doubt you are pregnant. His sperm had would have had to survive the chemicals in the pool and penetrate your bathing suit then find your vagina entrance to travel to an egg. A long shot bet at best. If you are that concerned; enough time has passed that you can take any of the home pregnancy tests available at any store that sell health and beauty products.
As for STDs; these are always a possibility. In what you described the fact that both of you had your bathing suits on the possibility is low. But if there was any chance it is better safe than sorry and you should get yourself tested.
I wish I could tell you what is going on with your parents, I cannot since I do not know them. The one thing I can tell you is that whatever is going on between them has nothing to do with you and you did nothing to cause the problem. Your parents I am sure still love you. They may have trouble showing it at this time because of their own problems. Their problems in no way diminish their love fro their children.
The only thing I can suggest you do is go see your family doctor. Tell the doctor how you feel and everything about the anxiety attacks. The doctor may be able to prescribe some medication to help with these attacks.
am from kenya my question is family problem we were 10 in number.my sisters of our father hate us
I don't see a question here.
F/17
I know what needs to be done. Do good in school so as to get into a good college, then get a great job, happy family, happily ever after. The end. Problem is, I just don't feel motivated enough. I tell myself I know what I need to do and that I can do it, but when I get to actual 'what needs to be done', I just don't wanna do it. I don't feel like it, I rather do something else that peaks my interest. I'm really stubborn and it makes me a bit upset that I can't just buckle down and do what needs to be done. My mind wonders way too much and I just can't concentrate. I tried ADD medication, but I ended up falling asleep everywhere I went, basically a zombie, so I stopped taking it. So pills don't help at all. How do I tell myself to just DO IT already and get good results? It's like the 'school, college, family, the end' story isn't enough to push me forward or something...
If you are not ADHD then you may be mildly depressed. Not unusual for someone your age. Being mildly depressed is more of a hormonal problem then anything else. Your brain is not making enough of one or two chemicals needed to keep you from becoming depressed. This is easily corrected with the right medication.
Most family doctors prefer to refer patients they feel may be suffering from depression to a psychiatrist for medication as they are better trained to prescribe than a family doctor.
Once the psychiatrist has met with you and found the proper medication you will be referred to a psychologist for talk therapy to get at the root cause of your depression. You may or may not be aware of what it truly bothering you. That is what talk therapy is all about. The therapist is someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to knowing your confidence will be held in the strictest of confidence. Once you find the root cause and learn to deal with it, the need for medication will begin to recede.
My suggestion: Ask your family doctor to screen you for possible depression.
I want a car sooo BAD! How can i convice my mom to get me one??
I will tell you up front you may not like my answer, but I am telling you like it is.
There may be more to the problem of getting a car than just convincing mom to buy you one. The problems I will address will have nothing to do with any issues of maturity or trust. They will strictly deal with the monetary aspects of a car.
First, Convincing mom to buy a car is more involved than just pleading. Are you sure mom has the money to purchase the car. Don't just say yes because you think you do, you have to know moms true financial picture to answer that question.
Then it is just not the cost of the car. There is the cost of the insurance which goes up on her car as well as the cost of insuring your car which will be at a much higher rate then if you were just an added driver on her car. Now what about gas, oils, tires, and repairs. Who is going to pay for all of these things?
If your expecting mom to pay for all of these things then maybe we have come back to the subject of maturity. If you want to convince mom to purchase you a car then she may want to see you are mature enough to own your own car. To do this you may have to get an after school job. You would then be what you could call car poor. Working to support your car.
Not knowing where you live I which will sway my estimate some. The average cost to support car for a teenage driver, not counting the cost of gasoline, is between $2,400 and $3,200 a year. The major cost is the insurance and this cost depends on how type of insurance coverage purchase. Money needed to cover major repairs, tires and routine maintenance.
If you work the numbers figuring $7.25 an hour for a part-time job. You would have to work 442 hours a year just for your car. That works out to 8 hours a week. Depending on how many hours a day an employer would give you you could be working 2 to 3 days simply for your car, then one day for taxes. That may leave little left over for gas and fun.
With this in mind Hooooow bad do you really want your own car.
I have a grandson we have guardianship on him,he refuses to help around the house,disrespetiful,and has a lot of anger at everybody.we have tried to help him but he doesnt want it.We have put him in 2 places that said they can help him then they call us and say come get him we cant do anything with him.I need help please please please im at my wits end.he is 15.
It would help if I knew the reason why you had guardianship of your grandson. From what you have written there is not enough information to offer much in the way of advice.
What I see is a 14/15 year old who may feel like some sort of cast off. This could account for rebellion and behavioral issues. As I said there is just not enough information.
The best advice I can offer is to get this boy some counseling with a good child psychologist. You all will need to understand, but mostly your grandson that the psychologist is there for him. That he/she is his confidant and he can say anything, tell he/she anything he wishes with the knowledge that what he says stays between them. Nothing he says gets back to you or anyone else.
Knowing this and hopefully accepting this he should be able to tell the psychologist whatever is bothering him. Then they can work together to fix the problems. It may mean that the psychologist may need to work with you as well, if so please do so as it in the best interest of your grandson.
heyy im 18 and im about 6 inches long and like 2 thick is that considered big? or like enough to be satisifing?
Why we men worry so much about the size of our penis is beyond me. The penis performs two functions; we urinate through it and we deliver sperm to the vagina of a women. That is the function of a penis, unless there is something medically wrong a penis regardless of size can fulfill this function.
According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.
Average Vagina Size
Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch
Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches
Based on the Ansel Research Survey any Penis over 6" in length and 2" in diameter will cause pain to your partner during sex as the vagina during sex can only accommodate, comfortably these dimensions.
So relax your normal.
Ok, I am 13 and i just got this 60s dress and its very very different from what people wear today. i want to wear it but i'm afraid of the reactions of others. as you know, im sure, middle schoolers are horrible to each other. also, if you tell me that i should wear it, give me some burns and comebacks to say to people who tell me it's wierd or ugly.
I say wear the dress. If anyone questions you just say your trying to start a new fashion trend.
Most kids your age wouldn't know a 60's era dress if it fell on them. We wore some great clothes back then and like everything else clothing eventually comes back in style.
I am 14 years old. Turning 15 in 4 months and going into grade 10. I havent even started my period yet, all my frends have gotten theirs. I have very small hardly noticeable breasts, i dont wear a bra and i have been like this since grade 7, my breasts have not made any size difference. i have a little hair under my arms and fewer hair in my vagina. i have never had this "discharge" everyone talks about. i am really worried, i know everyone says that its not something to look forward too but every girl wants it. i get made fun of alot,, i dont have someone i can turn to talk about this and i cant stop thinking about it. i cry alot about this. can any body help me out there?
First I have a question or two for you.
1)You say; "i don't have someone i can turn to talk about this." If for some reason mom is not in the picture, do you not have an Aunt, Older Sister or Grandmother you can speak with?"
2) Are you very athletic?
The reason for my questions is this. We don't know you and therefore we can only answer in generalities. Your mom, Aunt, Grandmother can be more specific in answering these types of questions for you. There is nothing in this question you should be embarrassed about. This question is about a normal part of a woman's maturity that you have valid questions on.
That being said; being fourteen and not having your period and not growing breasts is not unreasonable. The non-medical term for this is called being a late bloomer. This may be a genetic trait for women in your family. If so you probably have nothing to worry about at this time and simply must wait until your hormones that control these things wake up.
Another cause would be if you are underweight. If you are underweight you body is not going to expend the energy it needs to survive by producing hormones it does not need. Being underweight is actually more detrimental for you than being slightly overweight. If someone is underweight the body will do all it can to survive. It does this by feeding off itself and if need be shutting down different systems until only the heart and brain are functioning. If you are not sure as to what your proper weight should be, then you need to check in with your doctor.
Another reason could be if your are very athletic. Have you ever looked at some of the female Olympic athletes. Most if not all of them, regardless of their age, are very small breasted. They also do not get their periods. Once they stop training their breast enlarge and they start getting their periods. Just why this happens I have not researched, I just know it is something that happens to female athletes.
You are wrong about one thing. You do have someone you can talk to about this or any other problem regarding your body and sexual issues. That would be your doctor. At 14 years of age you have medical confidentiality. Meaning you can visit and meet with a doctor without parental supervision. Anything said to the doctor during an examination, anything you are treated for remains confidential. No medical information can be released without your expressed written permission. This is written in a Federal Law called HIPPA.