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Should woman give gift to a man on first date

Question Posted Thursday August 11 2011, 7:33 pm

I'm a young 50 and he's 44. It's our first date and he's cooking dinner for me at his place. I would like to take something to him like flowers or small plant for his place. Are any of these an appropriate gift for a woman to give a man on a first date?

Thank you.

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adviceman49 answered Friday August 12 2011, 10:12 am:
I like DangerNerds suggestion about first date safety. People our age didn't have to worry as much about first date safety as one needs too today. Please follow his advise.

As to what is appropriate to bring as a gift. Host/Hostess gifts are always appropriate. Depending on how well you know this gentleman the gift can range from a bottle of wine to go with dinner, an offer to bring dessert or something appropriate for a hobby of his.

As Dangernerd suggested other than something to add to a hobby collection/activity, I would stay away from anything that would need constant attention. When you know him better and gift exchange becomes appropriate then you can choose more appropriate gifts.

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DangerNerd answered Thursday August 11 2011, 11:09 pm:
If you are 100% certain he is ok with alcohol, then a bottle of wine is a customary gift for someone who is cooking you a nice meal. Dating or otherwise, the wine is a pretty standard gift of re-payment for the meal.

As for the flowers, well that depends on the man. If it were between flowers and plant, I would say flowers.

Would you give someone a puppy for your first date? Why not? Because it is a burden of sorts to look after it, and you can't go out of town without arranging a babysitter, right? Same with the plant.

Wine, flowers, or something for desert. Desert is tricky, if he is planning to serve you some, so you could offer to take him out for desert once the meal is complete, if that feels like the right thing to do at the time.

One unrelated note, if you will allow me: You may be an adult, but I will ask you to use the same rules you would give a teenager on a first date:

Make sure at least one person knows where you are, and any places you are aware you may be going as part of the date.

Leave his address with the people you choose to look out for you.

Set up a phone call for a given time, so someone can call and check to see how your date is going.

You may not think any of this is needed, and the odds are that you are right... however, the one time you don't do things properly is the time things go wrong. Know what I mean?

Good luck to you, and enjoy your date.

P.S. If you don't know anything about wine, it is ok to ask him what he thinks would go best with the meal.

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