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Going to the gynecologist without my mom?
How can I tell my mother I want to go to the gynecologist by myself without telling her that I'm not a virgin?
I have been to the doctor before when I had some menstrual problems earlier this year, but she didn't perform a full check-up and I lied to her about being a virgin.
The reason I ask this question is because when I went to the doctor before, my mother refused to allow me in alone. She forced me to sign the form that allowed her to accompany me.
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just tell her your old anough to go on your own and others do why do you need to go to the doctors :/
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You should probably just tell your mom. Even if the law states that you can legally not have your mom there, when you get back home, it could be a different story for you.
If you don't want to tell your mom and still go then how about a good friend take you there, or another family member you trust and will take care of you if anything goes wrong. :)
Hope you feel better!
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If you are over 14 you have certain medical privacy rights as a female when it comes to your sexual&reproductive system. These rights allow you full medical privacy and confidentiality. This means your mother cannot force her presents on your medical consultation and the doctor cannot answer any of her questions about your medical exam.
You do not have to give your mom a reason but if you feel you do; just judging from what you have written I would say something like the following. "Mom we are just not close enough for me to ask you some of the question I have and I need these answers to keep myself healthy and safe." "Therefore since the law, "HIPPA, affords me the right to medical confidentiality I am invoking that privilege when it comes to my reproductive system." "I'm sorry if this upsets you but I need answer to questions to stay safe and this is the only way I know to get the correct answers". Your mother will probably get upset, which is fine. She cannot refuse to allow you to see the doctor, that would be child abuse.
I'm sorry you have to go through something like this in order to have a proper medical check-up. This is one of the reasons the HIPPA law applies to your situation. For a doctor to properly evaluate you the doctor must have a complete an accurate medical history, this would include a sexual activity history. The doctor could tell you were most likely not a virgin by the fact your hymen was missing but could not question you or council you because your mother was in the room. This was not in your medical best interest.
Just a suggestion: You may want to consider finding a doctor of your own choosing. One who you mother is not seeing as well. This will eliminate any conflict of interest for the doctor.
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If you and your mom are't very close, just tell her you're not comfortable with her in the room. It's a pretty personal checkup and you definitely don't need a ton of people in the room.
Could you get a ride to the doctor with someone else? Maybe a close aunt could take you? If not, call your doctor before the appointment (if possible) and explain that your mom refuses to let you in the room alone, and see if you could fill out a questionnaire without her hearing the answers to any such questions.
Or, just don't sign the form. If you're under 18, you have different privacy rights, but your doctor or the nurse at the office may be able to explain to your mom that it should be a patient's choice to go in the room alone.
Do you otherwise get along with your mom? Could you ask her why she wants to be in the room so badly? She might have guessed already what you're trying to hide from her. Or, tell her "Listen Mom, I really appreciate that you want me to be healthy and see a gynecologist, but I'm not comfortable having anyone else in the room with me. Would you mind sitting in the waiting room?"
By the way, if your doctor is a male, there should be another person in the room with you already, because it's the policy of most (if not all) offices, to prevent potential allegations and whatnot. That might be what your mom's worried about - being alone with the doctor for such an intimate exam. The best thing in this situation is probably talking to your mom about it. Alternately, you could go to a doctor on your own, but you probably wouldn't be under your parents' insurance there.
-LM
[19/f]
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