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Sex life dwindling
Hello, I'm 19. My names Megan.
I'm here to simply ask; just how important is sex? Me and my current boyfriend work nicely except the sex part. Our bodies make it difficult to have intercourse. I'm not saying we're fat. But he is heavier than me. And I've had heavier boyfriends. But, it's just so difficult to do it, that I'm not even sure it's worth trying to do.
I try talking to him about it, but what can he really do about it?
It bothers me, doesn't really effect him. I'm a lot more experienced than him.
I just. Need to know where to go from this?
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I am going to have to disagree on one of the advisers that gave you some advice earlier on; do not tell him it is because of his weight you find it hard to sleep with him. Commenting on a person's weight, no matter the gender, is quite a sensitive issue. Why not offer to exercise together? Jogging? - It builds stamina too ;)
Basically, help him rather than just put it all on him. I'm sure he'd be more than willing to improve the sex life you both share. So talk to him about exercising, whatever works!
Ask Venzuela
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Everyone places different importance on sex. For young people sex is usually very important as it is the most intimate part of a relationship. For older partners sex becomes less important as the relationship has evolved to a higher level.
Your boyfriend may be aware that his weight is a problem and is even causing you pain during sex. This could be the reason for any reluctance on his part. There are different sexual position you could try that would make sex more enjoyable and comfortable for both of you.
Below are two websites I found that detail different positions overweight people may find more enjoyable for sex. One of the nicer things about sex is learning about each others likes and dislikes. Experimentation can be fun as long as both parties consent and understand stop means stop and no means no. When two people experiment as long as both consent and no one gets hurt, nothing is off limits.
What I'm saying is you don't have to give up on sex, especially if it is something you feel you need and want. You just have to adapt to what you find comfortable which is something we all have to do regardless of our body types.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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I remember reading once that sex was one of the most important elements of a relatonship because of the bonding etc but I guess that can easily be wrong, after all, religious groups have relationships without sex until they are married.
One way around it I suppose would be telling him that you enjoy sex even if he doesn't really care for it but his body weight makes it difficult for you to really enjoy it and if he were to work on improving that you would be able to make you both enjoy sex a lot more. otherwise perhaps their are different positions that you could try that may make it easier for you to enjoy yourself. I hope it works out for you :)
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