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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

there's this chic at a place I frequent...she is a married woman with 5 kids...and she flirts with me CONSTANTLY everytime she sees me....and she loves to pick on me...im flattered she finds me attractive (shes not the first woman/married woman to hit on me....but im strictly dicly) but she got folks thinkin we fukkin or messin around in someway and we arent...oh hell no...ive told her more than once that I don't fukk with females nor married folks, that shyt is nasty and degrading.....she'll be like u know you want this.....i told her she is pathetic and to stop multiple times.....till this day she refuses to take the hint....ive told her boss but that was a joke....how should I go about this...just leave it alone since no one on top has any brains...and just leave it as is...or what? that is the only branch I can go to and they are independently owned by that one CEO, whom I complained too..(that was a joke). I have NO intentions of fooling around with her...cuz that is disgusting...its like she aint gonna stop till she gets what she wants...and that aint gonna ever happen ....help me....thanks

From what little I can discern from what you have written; I would say you have a case for sexual harassment. This gives you two choices:

1. Tell her to stop in the strongest possible language adding if she does not you will charge her with sexual harassment.

2. Skip step 1 and go directly to the police. Even if you do not know where she lives you know where she works. The police can investigate and arrest her if she is found to be to be harassing you.

The next time you see her you might keep your cell phone out and record the conversation to show the police.

We have a normal house without a attic. I was wondering if its possible to build a attic? Or how to do somethint similiar?

The answer is both yes and possibly no. TO find out if it is possible or not you need hire an engineer to come out to your home to see if the house will withstand the weight of a full second floor.

The engineer will look at the size of the footers and your foundation. Then he will look to see where bearing walls are and if they are sufficient for the new load. After his inspection he will, if it is possible, design a building plan to raise the current roof, or have the current roof removed and a second floor and roof built.

With these plans you then go to the County or City Building Permits Department to file your plan and get a permit to build.

You might also have to hire an architect to design the interior space. These plans would show where the electric outlets and heating ducts will be placed plus any plumbing for a requirements.

This is not the type of job for the average DIY person so it would be best to hire a contractor. A job of this type depending on the size and where in the country you live could cost anywhere from $30,000 to well over $100,000 depending on what you need and what you want.

I'm having problems with pleasure. I give my boyfriend blowjobs all the time but when I ask him to go down on me he says no. We've done 69 but Im not really into that I'd rather take turns but he just won't no matter what. I honestly don't know what to do in this situation.

IF he does 69 then the problem is not he does not like to do oral on you. Is this a correct assumption then I would make a stand.

Sex is a two way street. Both partners are entitled to their pleasure. If he is not willing to give you your pleasure then don't give him his pleasure.

What is it about 69 you don't like. Is it the position you are in? The 69 position can be done with you on top or bottom as well as side by side. You give him blowjobs so I don't think that's the problem.

Sex is a learned activity and a sexual relationship is like any other relationship. Any relationship will fail unless there is open communication and this extremely true in a sexual relationship.

You and your boyfriend need to sit down someplace and discuss your sex life. What you like and don't like why he won't do this or you won't do that. Most guys want anal from their partners if anal isn't your thing tell him and tell him why. Why he won't go down on you except in a 69 position he owes you and explanation.

At some point in your sexual relationship you will want to take it up a level. This is when you talk about fantasies and things you might want to try like going to a nude beach or topless beach.

I hope I've helped you.

So me and my boyfriend were in the middle of having sex and he lost his erection. He was disappointed in himself well that's what he said. He said to give him a minute and he came back hard and fucked me raw. Which is weird since we always do it with a condom. Did he lose his erection because he wasn't attracted to me.

NO you did not cause him to lose his erection. There are many different reasons a male will lose his erection during intercourse and it is very embarrassing for him. Please don't tease a lover who this might happen too. Be sympathetic and help him regain his erection.

The physical reasons are long but at the top of the list is fatigue, tension and anxiety along with reaction to medications such as blood pressure meds or over the counter meds.

Another cause would be if he is trying to prolong intercourse. Most of us at one time or another will find ourselves building to climax very early long before we want to or our partner is ready, call it a form of premature ejaculation. To prevent this or stop it from happening we all have different methods we try. This sometime works better than we planned and the old noodle goes limp.

From what you have written he regained his erection and you had a great time. From this I would say the problem was on the penile side and not the vaginal side of the action.

How to increase the penis size at home naturally to 6 inch?

From all the questions asked on this subject the only true answer to your question is this. What you have is all you will ever have. The advertisements to enlarge your penis using this thing or taking this organic substance is just a waste of money.

There is no way to enlarge your penis including plastic surgery. Most plastic surgeons will not even discuss surgery with you unless you have what is called a micro-penis. A penis less than 2 inches in length.

I suspect you are a young teenage male possibly being teased by guys with bigger dicks. It is not size that counts it is how you use what you have that matters. The average vagina is 6 inches in depth and about 1 1/2 round at the opening. Any penis larger than those dimensions is going to hard for a girl to accommodate and will be the cause of painful intercourse.

If you want to be a good lover learn how to please the women you are with. Keep this in mind when you are having sex with a young woman especially a women under 18 living at home. In order for her to enjoy sex the following is very important:

1. She must feel secure in her surroundings. Secure from intrusion and discovery.
2. She must be comfortable. Meaning a bed or a couch, someplace she can relax and enjoy your attention.
3. Foreplay is very important. Girls need to be caressed and made loved to before intercourse. Find out where she likes to be touches and how she likes to be touched. Also some girls are clitoral meaning they need their clitoris stimulated more than their vagina. You need to ask your girl if she is clitoral or vaginal. Asking this question puts you mountains ahead of other guys because it means you are looking out for her pleasure.
4. Be responsible and wear a condom even if she is on birth control. The condom adds another level of birth control and protects both of you from most of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

Sex is a learned experience. To have a good sex life it is not what you have it is how you approach a sexual relationship. In any relationship communication is important. In order to have a good sex life you and your partner need to communicate your likes dislikes and eventually your fantasies.

Hi.. 18/F
I made a huge mistake. Please don't judge me. My cousin(also 18) and I have never been really close until a while ago when we started to hang out. After a while I started developing feeling for him but I didn't tell him because maybe it was just us getting close that I'm not used to. A few nights back we started making sexual jokes and the convention fot a bit heated but then he stopped it. I thought it was a joke. Last night it got a bit sexual again and I asked him if this was a joke and he said no. So we ended up sending each other photos. Afterwards we felt really guilty. I know it was a mistake but how do I stop feeling guilty, help him stop feeling guilty and restore our relationship? Please help me?

I know how your feeling as I once had a very strong sexual attraction to an older cousin, by 18 months, of mine. To be honest I think we both know to this day that the attraction is still there but as we have gotten older we have gotten wiser and we hide it well. It doesn't help matters that my cousin is also beauty queen beautiful.

Senior prom for me. My girlfriend at the time went to a different high school who's prom was the same night. We agreed to go with safe dates to are own proms. We both went with cousins
.
How close did we get? We got close really close third base close in motel room(s)prearranged for the purpose of sex. I won't draw you a picture let's just say there was very little clothing guarding the gates when our better judgment prevailed and we got dressed and left.

We went to an all night diner to talk. We admitted to each other that we were more than infatuated with each other and admitted we almost went to far that night. We talked for a long time and realized that where we were sitting in the diner talking to each other and being each other's closest confidant is as far as our relationship could ever go.

My suggestion is you two do as we did and that is to talk to each other. Admit where your feelings for each other are at. Once your feelings for each other are out in the open between you it will be easier to discuss them and come to an understanding as just what you can be to each other and with each other without crossing the bounties of civilized society.

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for six months now and when we normally have sex he doesn't cum anywhere near my vagina but this time he did. He pulled out and came in the general area. What makes him want to do that?

I will assume from what you have written you are not using condoms which I will address after I answer your question.

What your boyfriend is doing is known as the pullout method of birth control. Many feel that if the male pulls out of the vagina prior to ejaculation the female will not become pregnant. This is a fallacy for while making love the male emits a small amount of semen which acts as lubricant. Most call this precum. In this emission are more than enough semen to make a female pregnant provided all other factors are present.

In order to get pregnant an egg must be in the fallopian tube and viable. This happens sometime between the 7th and 21st day of a woman's menstrual cycle. If using the rhythm method of birth control this is the time of the month a woman should reframe from having sex. The egg is viable for three day. Sperm is viable for three days. Having sex for three days before or after the egg is released by the ovary is when a woman is most likely to get pregnant.

Condom usage: Even if you are on birth control medication it is important you use a condom while having as condoms not only increase the level of protection on birth control. They are also good at preventing transference of many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

Until you are in a truly long term relationship, six months does not qualify, and been tested for viruses and STDS. Each time you have sex you are having sex with all the partners that came before you. While your partner may be clean he may be a carrier of an STD or Virus which is why testing is important.

I hope I have answered your question. I strongly recommend you use condoms until you are both tested and you are sure he you are the only one he is having sex with. HE will complain that condoms cause loss of felling. Stand your ground for it’s your life and your reproductive system at risk.

When I was younger the girls had a saying, "No rubber no lover." "This was before birth control med though it is still a good saying today.

Happy New Year

Ive had two really important questions up for about a week now and no one answers them is everyone off for the holidays oe whats happening?

I've looked at the questions you have asked including this one. A number of us have looked at your questions. We are under no obligation to answer a question and most of us won't unless we have an answer for you.

For your question on your friend who you think is Bulimic. Just because she goes to the bathroom after every meal does not mean she is bulimic. I go to the bathroom after every meal and I am not bulimic. You need to give us more information in order for us to give you any type of reasonable answer.

As for the other question. Really how do we make gift suggestion without any idea of how old she is, what her likes and dislikes are and so forth. As for shipping information What country do you live in, that would be a big help.

YEs many of us were celebration the holidays and not reading the postings.

Hello. I'm 22 and female and my boyfriend is 24. I'm having a problem with our sex life and I need advice. Usually when I'm on my period, I'll give my boyfriend blowjobs (fair enough, I don't choose to get my period). Sometimes when I don't feel like having sex, I'll also just give him a blowjob. I always make sure he finishes before I stop. Lately I've been noticing though that he can never just give to me without me having to give it back. Like he can't just eat me out, it always has to be 69 so he gets some in return. Tonight I got irritated, so when he started to go down on me, I was happy thinking he'd just do his thing yet two minutes into it, he started shimmying his way up so he could get a blowjob too. So I did until I kept thinking about it and how he hardly ever makes sure I finish or even ensures that I do such as waiting before he does so I just stopped and he got angry that I just didn't want to anymore. So I told him there is no reason for him to be angry when I don't get that angry over hardly ever finishing because he always does before me. So he just rolled over and started watching tv.

I just don't know how to handle it when I even admitted to him that I don't think I've ever fully climaxed before and he just didn't care. Please just don't say to break up or anything rash, we've been together two years, I just haven't really ever thought much about it until now. So I just don't know what to do regarding this because it seems like when I just go to talk about it, he just gets defensive and shuts down. Any help is appreciated.

One thing you must understand when it comes to sex and the male ego is we are all the greatest lovers you will ever meet. When you said to him you don't think you have ever fully climaxed before he finished you attached his sexual prows and wounded his ego. He will recover.

Every relationship is a learning process including a sexual relationship. One reason we don't generally jump into bed with someone is we need to have some type of relationship with that person in order to get comfortable and have sex with them. The next step in a relationship is generally the step that leads to the sexual relationship. This can be a twostep process or a one step process that starts on the couch and ends in the bedroom.

This is where the mistake everyone makes in making the step to a sexual relationship. You've gotten comfortable with each other. You've made out and you jump into bed. What about knowing each other’s likes and dislikes? For instance just for an example does he know if you vaginal or clitoral. As boys we learn that all girls and women derive their pleasure from their vagina. It is what we see in porno movies. No one has told us there is a large percentage of women out there that are clitoral.

Sex is a learned experience and you must talk to each other if you are going to have a satisfactory sex life. Example here would be me and my wife. I would spend a great deal of time trying to bring her to orgasm during foreplay. She couldn't do it. Even during intercourse she couldn't do it. Why, we talked about it. Her strict up bringing she was taught a women duty is to give her husband sex on demand and not to get her own pleasure. We saw a sex counselor, a psychologist who specializes in sexual dysfunction, to help her over that. The object her is I finally asked if it was me. What was I doing wrong?

If you want the best sex life of your lives you need to talk. Every relationship is built on trust and communication this includes a sexual relationship. Find a time and place that you can have a conversation with him about your sex lives. Everything goes on the table. Things you like and things you don't like. Where you like to be caressed and not. Sex acts you like and don't like. Your fantasies. This goes for both of you. This is where you tell him that once in a while you would like him to do oral on you until you orgasm without doing 69. You would like to just every once in a while relax and enjoy his love making to you.

You start this conversation by saying something like. "Jimmy I love you and I love our sex life but I want to take our sex live to higher plain to where we have the best sex lie we can possibly have. To do this we need to communicate what we want from each other. We need to know each other’s likes, dislike wants, desires and yes our fantasies. I'll start." Start with your fantasies as this should bring him into the conversation.

Hello, I'm currently visiting my mom over winter break (from college) and originally I told her I would stay until the 8th, but I just can't stand being here anymore and I want to go back home to my place on campus. I know she's going to be hurt but I hate being here.

I'm just really tired of being around her and I need time alone. She's constantly in my business and trying to control everything I do. She won't let me buy anything without asking where I got the money to buy it and getting angry with me. She's constantly asking if I paid my bills (which I did already or they aren't due yet). She's overfeeding my cat and giving him too much attention so now he cries when he's left alone and I'm afraid now when I take him back to campus he's going to meow whenever I'm not there and make my roommate angry.

I want to dye my hair and get my nails done before the new semester starts but she started yelling at me about that too saying I'm wasting money and that she refuses to let me.

I can only watch tv shows she likes or else she gets upset. If she sees me trying to catch up with friends she gets offended.

I can't snack after she goes to bed for fear of waking her. She keeps the AC off all the time so it's way too hot here and I feel like I'm burning up, but every time I turn it on she goes and turns it off.

She filled my room here with a bunch of her junk so I feel extremely claustrophobic and she won't let me move anything. There's not even ten feet of walking room.

The neighbor is constantly playing his music extremely loud and I can't concentrate on doing work, but she won't let me place a complaint with her landlord.

I feel like if I'm here much longer we're going to get in an extremely nasty fight because I'm so pissed at her.

I told her last night I might leave a few days early and she said "Don't you dare!" I don't know why she even wants me to continue staying here when I've made it obvious the last few days how miserable I am.

I tried to talk to her about these things already, but she doesn't listen or pretty much just says "It's my home, my rules!".

I could just leave, but that would cause a huge rift.

Please help!

It appears your mother is a controller and trying to control you. If you are in college I will assume you are 18 or older which make you legally and adult. Unless mom has something else to hold over you such as college tuition she is paying, then legally she can not control you every move. Her only hold on you would be by manipulation using the college tuition as the device to control you.

If mom has no such hold on you then by all means pack up and return to school. The sooner you plant the flag of independence the better for you. As a controller until your 18th birthday mom had ultimate legal control over you. No she has lost that legal control but is trying to excerpt it through 18 years of adherence to her orders.

If you do not stand up for your independence now moms control over you will get stronger and continue even into your married life. People who talk badly about their mother in-laws are generally talking about a controlling mother in-law. Controlling mother in-laws have been the cause of many failed marriages.

My suggestion is do what you need to do and deal with whatever fall out afterwards but do not give in. Tell mom you will not allow her to control your every move.

So today since it's the New Year it's a tradition for my dad to do a New Years prayer so while he was praying he was praying that there shouldn't be any introverts in my family anymore. He was saying that directly at me since I'm an introvert, I got pretty pissed and told him that was rude and uncalled for then left. Is there anything wrong with introverts? I can't change my personality if he doesn't like it oh f**king well. Just because I'm an introvert doesn't mean I don't talk to people. I'm generally a shy person but since I stared university I had to get out of my comfort zone nobody was gonna come up to me and try to be friends I had to do it myself. So I don't understand why my dad said that as if being an introvert is a bad thing?

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. I have always considered myself an introvert. I was shy around everyone including girls. Would you believe I ended up in the worst career for an introverted person and succeeded beyond anyone who knows me wildest dreams? For my entire working life I worked in sales and marketing. Yikes you have to talk to strangers, worse you have to make them your friend if you are going to sell to them rapidly.

Yes I was way out of my comfort zone when I started and I had to work at being more extroverted and still do even though I'm retired now. It is my belief that a large part of my success was the fact that I had to work at being extroverted and this came across to the people I was selling to as a type of honesty in my presentations.

While I would never purposely lie to a client; I believe that having to work at being more extroverted made me different then most sales people especially the hard line salesperson. You know the type we generally portray them as the used car salesman.

No there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, as long as you are aware and willing to work at being more outgoing when you need to be. I believe your fathers concern is that being introverted will hold you back. This does not have to be. I see in your writing you already know this for you said, "I had to get out of my comfort zone nobody was gonna come up to me and try to be friends I had to do it myself."

My suggestion is you talk to your dad and let him know he has nothing to worry about. Let him know that you know there are times when you will need to expand or even step out of your comfort zone. As a parent of someone your age I believe this will mean a great deal to him.

When I was 6 year old, my aunt came to take me to stay with her and when I got to her house after some weeks,i caught her brother in-law who was staying with us fingering me and when I woke up, he threatened to kill me if I tell anyone about it,i later told my aunt about it and he stopped,but since then hv not had sex with anyone,so I want to know if am still a virgin.

Yes you are still a virgin. The definition of virginity is not being penetrated in your vagina by a male's penis. You lose your virginity the very second a male puts his penis in your vagina. About the only thing that could have happened is you may have had your Hymen dislodged. In today's world a girl without a Hymen is still considered a virgin as long as there has not been any penile penetration of her vagina.

As you get older you will make out with boys and they will want to finger you. It is up to you if you want to let them. You cannot become pregnant from fingering.

I don't even know where to begin but here goes . I am a 27 year old female and I was molested by a family member when I was 5 . Unike most girls my ageage they started getting interested in boys when ther were 14 or 15 years old but I didn't start wanting to date until I was 17. I know a little odd. Then when I started dating engaging in sexual activities never really interested me. I didn't get my first or want my first kids until I was 18. I didn't start having oral sex until I was 23 and even then never really enjoyed kissing boys or being intimate with them but last year I started finding girls attractive and wondering what it would be like to have sex with a woman? I am also a little confused because i was taught that homosexuality is a sin. If this is true why would I feel like this? I am so confused. Please help me.

To start with I do not think you are a lesbian if you were you would have known this a long time ago. Doctors and scientist now believe you are born as a homosexual being it is not something you become. Personally even if you were a lesbian I don't believe it to be a sin it is who you are.

You say you were molested as a child. My guess is your parents felt you were young enough that they did not get you any counseling to help you through it. You need closer on the molestation and probable rape. I recommend you seek counseling with a qualified psychologist to put the molestation behind you and allow you to get on with your life.

I'm 22 and I've been in 3 relationships and have slept with 5 men (one was a fwb situation and the other just didn't work out long enough to be considered a real boyfriend.

I'm starting to get really upset because I feel like I've slept with a lot of men already to only be 22 compared to my friends.

It's just every guy I get into a relationship with seems to totally change after several months of dating. The longest one of those relationships lasted was 2 years and the rest were under 5 months. It just seems like every relationship I've been in became poisonous. The first guy turned into a drunk after hanging out with a new crowd and started spending all our money, and overall just a bad person. The second guy I wound up taking legal action against after he started stalking me everywhere I went, broke into my home, and threatened me. The last guy couldn't seem to get his parents to stop dictating our relationship (his mom called several times a day) and wound up lying to me about where he worked and what he did for 4 months before I found out.

I don't get it because I don't choose men who would seem that way. Every one of them were in college or graduated, had a good job, were religious, had friends and came from a good family, and seemed like great guys.

I've been single now since April and I'm starting to feel really sad and alone. I've tried online dating, but all the guys online are sadly gross. I've gone on a few dates with them and they all turned out to be really weird...and not in a good way.

I'm feeling super depressed now because one of my best friends is married with a baby, the other has been in a committed relationship and will likely be engaged soon, and all of my other friends have boyfriends or fiance's. Then there's me and people are starting to wonder what's wrong with me that I can't find a guy.

It doesn't help that I mainly work at home and every guy I meet on my college campus is either too young for me or in a relationship. I know most people will say join some clubs and stuff, but I've already done that and every single guy I take an interest in is taken.

Please help! I'm tired of being so alone.

You sound a bit like my son. He is a really nice guy, has a great job with a steady employment future. His one problem is he is or was looking for a perfect fit in an off the rack world. He met and dated some really nice girls. As the relationships grew he found out that the girls had tons of baggage that was not apparent at the beginning.

One girl, and her family were alcoholics, nice girl but he could not put up with her drinking. Another had served in the army in Iraq and suffered PTSD. He liked her was willing to stay with her and help her but she refused all help. Then there was the girl he wanted to marry, problem was she was a mama's girl and mama forbid the marriage because they were of different religions.

He met the girl he is now engaged to on a dating site. The funny part about this is as she tells us she almost didn't answer because he is a cop and she could not see herself married to a cop. She say she fell in love with my son a=on the first date. They are to be married in June.

What I told my son is what my advice to you is. Try a reputable dating site again. This time when you sit down to fill out the profile and what you are looking for on a date and future husband. Have your best friend sitting next to you. Let him or her help you complete the questionnaire.

Why, simple because we all have the same fault? We are far to hard on ourselves when describing who we are and what we like and dislike. We are also afraid to let our hair down and tell a stranger what we want from life which is much of what these questionnaires are designed for so as to match you with someone who is a possible match for you.

By following my advice you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Trying to find someone in a bar or other booty call locations is a lose/lose situation.

Hello, I am a 22 year old female and I'm dating a 24 year old male. We've been together for about a year and a half and have been discussing moving in together. We've been looking but not very hard, he said starting in January, we will start looking harder and get finances and everything together and get this show on the road.

For the longest time, I've been so excited to do this and get my own apartment and everything but I've kind of been glamorizing it in my mind - decorating it cute, having my own place to make mine, buying all of my own things with only having to discuss it with my boyfriend. I haven't really thought about the having to get my own health insurance (I'm still on with my parents whom are self employed so they get it through a third party), having to get my own car insurance, but the one thing that I've been thinking about non stop is rent - the pros and cons of renting and so on.

My mom tells me that she isn't a big fan of renting an apartment because our money would go to the landlord and he does whatever he wants with it whereas money we pay on a house would go toward my boyfriend and I buying a house together. So my mom proposed that my boyfriend move into my house and we pay my parents rent and they will put it away for us to save for a house. Though, when my mom brought it up to my dad, he did not seem too thrilled and that made my boyfriend very uncomfortable and now he definitely does not want to live at my house. Another thing about my mom is that she was born and raised mennonite religion. So, her father was very against spending money on unnecessary things, having my parents be together over night let alone, move in together before marriage so that is just what she now believes. Now that I've told her that I'm not disrespecting her or demeaning what she says, that just isn't how relationships are and how people work these days. My boyfriend told her that we need to get out on our own to see if we are still compatible without having my parents or his mom to lean on and now I think she does understand it a bit better. My mom though, also has two best friends that have daughters that moved out to live in apartments and now they are both back home because they realized how much money they "wasted," so I also believe my mom is just afraid for that to happen with me as well.

On the other hand, my boyfriend's mom thinks that renting is the way to go. She said even if we just get a lease for a year, it will be a lot of money but she said that is the only way we are going to learn how to live together and get our money in order. He makes more money than I do but I like to think that even though I don't make as much, I'm very good at saving my money. I think we are both doing okay for our ages (not bragging or anything at all and I'm sorry if you think that's what this is but he has 9,000 dollars saved up and I have 11,000 saved up) so as of now, I don't believe that we would really have to worry about money. Though my boyfriend has also stated numerous times that if I fall behind on anything, he will pay for what I cannot, although I hate being that girlfriend that would let him use his money to pay for my portion, it is nice to know that he would catch me if I fall behind. His mom said living together would also be a very determining factor of if we can stand each other 24.7, if we can deal with how to other one lives at all times, how the other person cleans up, you know, all of those things that I don't really see with just the occasional sleepovers.

Although, I don't doubt that he is the guy I want to be with forever, I also think that living together would be very beneficial. I just cannot get over what my mom said about money for an apartment versus a house. We both know that we do not want to buy a house together at this stage of our lives so I guess this entire lenghty back story to my life was just leading up to my one small question of : what are the pros and cons of renting an apartment? Have you or someone you've known gone broke by renting? Have you or someone you've known tried it and hated it or maybe they loved it and have lived in an apartment for years on end and plans to for a long time. I want to hear all about your stories and why you would like it or hate it. Thank you!

Your mom is both right and wrong. Renting anything is throwing money away as you will never own it. Where she is wrong is there are times when renting is appropriate. Buying a house before you and your boyfriend are sure you are headed to a life together is wrong. If six months into owning the home you find you can’t live together unless one of you can afford to buy the other out you must sell the home. At best you might get what you paid for it minus taxes and closing cost. Those fees add up to more than what it would have cost to rent an apartment for a year or more until you are both sure you both want a life together.
Now on to the other things you are concerned about; Health Insurance. You may be able to stay on your parent’s health insurance until you are 26 years old. They would need to check with the policy holder’s insurance company. If not you would need to pick that up either through your work or through the Obama care insurance exchange.
Now as to what it is going to cost to live together? This requires sitting down and listing everything that goes into living on your own. In other words make up a budget. At the top of the list goes the rent and insurances. Make sure to include renters insurance which covers your property in case of fire or theft. Your landlords insurance only covers the building and the landlords’ property not any of the renter’s property.
You and your boyfriend are already one step ahead of most couples your age as between you in savings you have $20,000 which is more than enough to cover the rent on a nice apartment for a year. The rule in budgeting for an apartment and what a landlord wants to see is three to six month’s rent in savings. Below is an example of what items should be budgeted for. Bear in mind a budget is a plan and not always carved in stone. Meaning sometimes you must rob Peter to pay Paul. If you budget properly you won’t or shouldn’t need to move money around to cover expenses.
Budget Items
Rent
Insurance Renters
Insurance Car(s)
Health Insurance
Utilities (Phones, Gas, Electric)
Food-Groceries, house hold items
Car Repairs*
Gas*
Pet’s needs (If any)
Dry cleaning
Savings
Entertainment (This is a must item you
Don’t want to be apartment poor)
Unexpected Urgent Matters (This would include urgent travel
To see a sick loved one, Funerals, Weddings, Etcetera)

*These two could go under the heading of transportation

You should include anything you feel I left out. Phone around and get quotes on the insurances. Since this is a first budget figure high as it is better to be under budget than over budget. After 3 months look at your budget and make corrections where needed.

This issue happened over the weekends. My sister and I are back in town for the holidays. We haven't been to our family's local church in a while. The night before, we all got our church clothes ready and my mom asked me to fix my hair so I won't spend all morning on it that would cause my sister and I to run late. I'd asked my sister for help with fixing my hair but she decided to go last minute shopping. So I ended up doing it myself using certain hair products that ends up leaving residues in my hair the next morning. Long story short next morning, my parents asked me to change into another outfit at the last minute before they left the house (left no room to argue about alternatives), my sister notice the residues in my hair and spent half hour trying to comb it all out before noon (so my hair doesn't look like it has crazy dandruff build up), both me and my sister almost felt discourage to attend due to time, and both of us showed up late to church missing out most of the sermon.

My parents knew we showed up late, were furious with me about it, and then blamed the whole thing ON ME. We got into a little argument about it that left me pretty upset with their accusation. Even though everything calm down later over Christmas, my sister explained the hair situation to my parents, and my parents are no longer mad, I still felt a little bothered by that afternoon and how the accusation wasn't fair to me. And I don't know if that's really something for me to ignore. I'm also not sure how to start a calm conversation over the whole thing with them, if I were to bring that up again.

It is the Christmas season a time of good will and happiness. You have calmed down some, your sister explained to your parents why you were late and they are no longer mad or upset. In your position I would just let this one slide for now and just enjoy the holiday at home with your family.

From your letter I believe you and your sister, since says "back in town for the holidays," are of adult age now. If your parents make a habit of blaming you from things when you do visit then you need to address it, if not then just let it be.

Bear in mind one thing though, the hardest thing for any parent is to let go. They have been fully responsible for you for anywhere from 18 to 21 years or more depending on how long you are in school. Then suddenly you are out on your own fully living an adult life and nest is truly empty. When the children do return to the nest to visit we have a tendency to over react.

Is it possible this is what happened Christmas day? As yourself that question and if the answer is yes then let it go. If the answer is no then after you return to your home write mom and dad a letter. Explain to them you’re an adult know and may soon or someday have a family of your own (your choice of wording). Tell them as an adult you did not appreciate the anger vented at you for something that was beyond your control. You tried to be polite and do as they requested and what they requested is part and parcel of the problem that materialized which they failed to comprehend.

Go on to say in the future you expect to be spoken to as an adult and not to be yelled at for something they may not understand. You would understand if you had done something that caused you harm and scared them but this was not the case. Please in the future think first talk second so we can all enjoy the limited time we will have together in the future.

The reason I say put this in a letter or email as if you tried to tell them this in person you would probably be cut off. I know from experience this is needed as my son had to do something very similar with me.

so im a freshman in high school and a girl,there is this boy i like about a month now and when im with him i really feel the feeling and he makes me smile and laugh and feeling in love in some way (because im only 15) but i never had the need of kissing him and anyway do such things with him and even though i want to be with him because im not sure but i thnik that he likes me too now that schools closed and im somehow away even though we chat via facebook im kind of confused about my feelings and i dont know if the fact that i feel proud of him and i know i like him in a romantic way but i dont have that need i dont know if it is good or not maybe it is because i never had a boyfriend before but i dont know if that has to do something with it please answer me

You have written one long sentence making it very hard to understand just what it is you are asking. Read your question again and write a more structured note and maybe I can offer some advice.

I think what I'm seeing is a letter from someone suffering from a first love. It's been many decades since I was in that position. You might get a better more useful answer from one of the younger advisors such as solidadviceforteens or either of these two ladies KarenR or Razhie.

Hey, so I have a question. I've been depressed in the past, and I'm currently still going through anxiety. I don't believe I'm depressed (at least nothing like I used to be before), but today is Christmas Eve, and since I was little, holidays have not gone well with my family. 10 years ago my grandma died about a week or two before Christmas, my other grandma has pretty much abandoned us (as well as my aunt), my other aunt and uncle got divorced about a month ago, my best friend is in the hospital, and me and my dad always seem to have arguments around this time. I didn't exactly have an episode, but I became very numb and I felt more dead than alive. I still self harm every once in a while since I grew addicted to it back when I was severely depressed. I'm a lot better now, but I still go through it sometimes. Today I ended up overdosing on busparoine. I took about 7 pills (maybe 8 idk). They were only 5 mg per pill. Anyway, my question is, what kind of side effects do you expect me to receive? Keep in mind I wasn't trying to kill my self. I already knew many of the side effects, I just don't know what I'll experience with the amount I took. I'm sitting down and feeling dizzy. My body keeps going kinda numb. Anyways, I'm 5'10, female, and around 140 (maybe less) lbs. can anyone fill me in?

These are the common side effects of this drug as listed by the manufacturer: chest pain;
feeling short of breath; or
feeling like you might pass out.

Other common side effects may include:
dizziness, headache, blurred vision;
drowsiness, feeling tired;
feeling restless or nervous;
nausea, dry mouth, upset stomach;
sleep problems...

You say you were not trying to kill yourself and I believe you. You did not exceed the maximum daily dosage of this drug. what you did was jump to higher dosage rather than increase in increments. You will most likely suffer many of the side effects this drug causes because of this.

Since I am not a doctor and I do not know you or your medical history I am going to suggest you call 911 and go to a hospital emergency room to be checked out. Some of the side effects can be harmful to the kidneys, Liver and stomach.

Holidays such as Christmas should be a pleasant and happy time. For people suffering from depression and anxiety this is not always the case. You're not alone in feeling this way. For many years I felt this way as well. Thanks to a wonderful therapist I no longer feel this way. IF you are not in therapy I suggest you try it. It does work and you will feel better without taking heavy medication. Also talk to the therapist about self-harm. There is no reason to harm yourself and scar up you body.

There is this guy who used to love me very much a long time ago. He loved me for about 4-5 years or so despite me being in love with some other idiot back then. We were in highschool and I was a very big idiot because I ignored him despite him being so kind and nice to me all those years. He tried his best despite me always talking about that other guy who treated me very badly. I was blind to him. After I finished highschool, I decided I wanted a clean start and cut contact with everyone I knew back then. Now it's been 6 years since then, and I know he had a girlfriend but he recently broke up with her. I also had a few boyfriends since then but I am single now. About a couple weeks ago I've talked with my sister about him and last week he contacted me and we met and I was like 'How could I be such a fool losing such a good guy?'. We sort of caught up with memories and so, also chatted on fb a few times. But he never said he likes me anymore or anything about that, and I can't really asume it. I want him to like me now because I like him now, and he was my biggest regret from highschool. But I can't really tell him because I kept ignoring his feeling for so long, I'm just not brave enough. I would like to know what to do and how to deal with this situation?

Your rejection of him years ago may still be an open wound plus the fact he may not want to jump at you on the rebound from his last girlfriend having just broken up with her.

I would say given those two facts as probabilities the ball is in your court to tell him how you feel and to see if he has any of those old feelings for you. There are several ways you can contact him, by phone, ask to meet again for coffee or over Facebook in a private chat. "

What you tell him is you enjoyed the chat you had and would like to meet again, that the chat brought back old memories and you can see how foolish you were to reject him in high school and you’re sorry for doing that to him. You would like to meet again and explore the possibility of the two of you seeing if a relationship can still be built.

Yes this is a bit forward of you however if I was in his place, depending on what your sister may have said to him, I would be a bit hesitant to jump into a relationship or even to attempt to start a relationship with you. So from my point of view you need to take the lead on this if you want to try and have a relationship with him.

I will suggest one thing if you do start to have a relationship. Agree to keep it out of the bedroom for a while until you are really sure you have built a foundation to a relationship. Sex too early in this type of relationship can be a relationship killer. You can make out do just about everything teenage daters would do; but stop short of going to bed together at least for the first few dates and you explore your commonalities.

I don't understand what the big deal is, literally everyone I know is in my ear telling me it's time for me to start dating and get a boyfriend. Even my own dad! He wanted me to get a prom date (but I couldn't which is a long story) now he wants me to have a boyfriend by my second year of university. Then today my sisters friends (they're all 16) we asking my sister about my first year in university then they started asking "does she have a boyfriend?" Or "is she seeing/talking to anyone" or "is she partying" or "is she experimenting" or "did she see any guy she likes?" Of course all my sisters answers were no and they all felt sorry for me saying it's my first year and I should put myself out there more. The problem is I don't have any guy friends!! I feel like I repel guys and I'm also awkward talking to attractive guys so I don't bother. The only guy friends I have are my friends boyfriends and I only talk to them when I'm around my friends. Anyways I do want to be in a relationship but I'm not even confident with myself, I don't have any guy friends to possibly blossom it into a relationship, I've tried online dating but I got too scared cause I felt like the guy i was talking to could be a weirdo so I deleted the app. Also relationships seem expensive now at days so I need a job first before I even try. I'm not talking about fancy dinners or anything but I don't have a car so I'd be wasting money on the bus to see my significant other etc. Anyways does anyone have any tips on how to put myself out there more but stay in my comfort zone? I got out of my comfort zone when it was orientation week for my school I went by myself didn't know anyone, made a couple friends long story short they're not my friends anymore bc my mom didn't let me go to all the orientation days so they forgot about me. I don't live on residence so it's not like I can really explore campus. Except for when I have my one hour breaks from class. Also one guy hit on me at school but he looked 21ish, and he had an accent but tried to Americanize it , I didn't give him my number though because even though he's here for school I think we would've been culturally different so it would be hard. My mom said I should've gave him my number but I'm not that desperate (besides he was the first guy to ever hit on me). Anyways please help on how to either put myself out there, make guy friends or find a way to make everyone buzz out of my love life. And thank you if you have read this far! Happy holidays

Is it unusual that can be a yes or no answer depending on your reasons. Your reasons are not all that unusual except for the one part, "I feel like I repel guys." You go on to say you are awkward talking to guys. Guys have the same problem talking to girl. Again none of this is unusual unless you are hiding behind it so as not to date. Is this you, do you not want to date for some reason?

I have two suggestions. The first is I feel for some deep seated reason you have self-esteem problems. Just what they are I'm not sure but are usually the problem behind awkwardness around the opposite sex. I am suggesting you talk with a therapist to find out what your self-esteem problems are and find a way to deal with them better.

Second I would like you to get back into online dating with a good site like Match.com. As a friend to help you build a profile of your self. The reason for a friends help is we all have a tendency to sell ourselves short. Our friends see us differently.

When you fill out what you are looking for be specific but remember this is an off the rack world. After chatting online and the guy ask you out make that first date a phone chat, then if he asks to meet you make sure it is in a very open and popular place with plenty of people. This is how you protect yourself. It is hard to size up a person based on words on paper. you need to talk to them and eventually look them in the eye and talk to them.

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