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Is it bad that I'm 18 and never had a boyfriend?
I don't understand what the big deal is, literally everyone I know is in my ear telling me it's time for me to start dating and get a boyfriend. Even my own dad! He wanted me to get a prom date (but I couldn't which is a long story) now he wants me to have a boyfriend by my second year of university. Then today my sisters friends (they're all 16) we asking my sister about my first year in university then they started asking "does she have a boyfriend?" Or "is she seeing/talking to anyone" or "is she partying" or "is she experimenting" or "did she see any guy she likes?" Of course all my sisters answers were no and they all felt sorry for me saying it's my first year and I should put myself out there more. The problem is I don't have any guy friends!! I feel like I repel guys and I'm also awkward talking to attractive guys so I don't bother. The only guy friends I have are my friends boyfriends and I only talk to them when I'm around my friends. Anyways I do want to be in a relationship but I'm not even confident with myself, I don't have any guy friends to possibly blossom it into a relationship, I've tried online dating but I got too scared cause I felt like the guy i was talking to could be a weirdo so I deleted the app. Also relationships seem expensive now at days so I need a job first before I even try. I'm not talking about fancy dinners or anything but I don't have a car so I'd be wasting money on the bus to see my significant other etc. Anyways does anyone have any tips on how to put myself out there more but stay in my comfort zone? I got out of my comfort zone when it was orientation week for my school I went by myself didn't know anyone, made a couple friends long story short they're not my friends anymore bc my mom didn't let me go to all the orientation days so they forgot about me. I don't live on residence so it's not like I can really explore campus. Except for when I have my one hour breaks from class. Also one guy hit on me at school but he looked 21ish, and he had an accent but tried to Americanize it , I didn't give him my number though because even though he's here for school I think we would've been culturally different so it would be hard. My mom said I should've gave him my number but I'm not that desperate (besides he was the first guy to ever hit on me). Anyways please help on how to either put myself out there, make guy friends or find a way to make everyone buzz out of my love life. And thank you if you have read this far! Happy holidays
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Is it unusual that can be a yes or no answer depending on your reasons. Your reasons are not all that unusual except for the one part, "I feel like I repel guys." You go on to say you are awkward talking to guys. Guys have the same problem talking to girl. Again none of this is unusual unless you are hiding behind it so as not to date. Is this you, do you not want to date for some reason?
I have two suggestions. The first is I feel for some deep seated reason you have self-esteem problems. Just what they are I'm not sure but are usually the problem behind awkwardness around the opposite sex. I am suggesting you talk with a therapist to find out what your self-esteem problems are and find a way to deal with them better.
Second I would like you to get back into online dating with a good site like Match.com. As a friend to help you build a profile of your self. The reason for a friends help is we all have a tendency to sell ourselves short. Our friends see us differently.
When you fill out what you are looking for be specific but remember this is an off the rack world. After chatting online and the guy ask you out make that first date a phone chat, then if he asks to meet you make sure it is in a very open and popular place with plenty of people. This is how you protect yourself. It is hard to size up a person based on words on paper. you need to talk to them and eventually look them in the eye and talk to them.
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Hey!
First off it's not a bad thing that you've never had a boyfriend before.
Honestly it's all about what you feel is right. That is your decision to make, and no one (not even your parents, or friends) can force you into dating someone if you don't want to. You shouldn't feel pressured into dating someone if that's not what you want. Dating someone can actually be a really big commitment and only you know when you're ready to take that next step.
If you do want to try "experimenting" with guys, start talking to more guys. Start with finding a guy at school that you're comfortable to talk to, and comfortable to be around. Get this guy into the friend zone. Act natural around him, like how'd you act around your friends. From there see if you're comfortable talking to other guys. I know this is easier said than done, but trust me I've had this problem before (talking to guys, I mean). In middle school I was seen as "one of the guys." Getting into high school was completely different for me, b/c I was no longer with my "middle school guy posse." I was hanging out with more girl groups, and less guys (freshman year). So when I got into my first class (sophomore year), there was this really cute guy, but I felt like I completely forgot how to act around guys. I acted like a complete idiot, the first few weeks. Later on, I met a guy whom I was really comfortable around, and we became really close and it helped me "re-learn" how to act around guys. From there I started hanging out with girls AND guys.
Idk if this'll help. Sorry if it's too long, and too much about me.
I hope in a way this'll helps. Best wishes!
-Swimmer133
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