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I recently met someone who used to love me and I wonder if he still does?
There is this guy who used to love me very much a long time ago. He loved me for about 4-5 years or so despite me being in love with some other idiot back then. We were in highschool and I was a very big idiot because I ignored him despite him being so kind and nice to me all those years. He tried his best despite me always talking about that other guy who treated me very badly. I was blind to him. After I finished highschool, I decided I wanted a clean start and cut contact with everyone I knew back then. Now it's been 6 years since then, and I know he had a girlfriend but he recently broke up with her. I also had a few boyfriends since then but I am single now. About a couple weeks ago I've talked with my sister about him and last week he contacted me and we met and I was like 'How could I be such a fool losing such a good guy?'. We sort of caught up with memories and so, also chatted on fb a few times. But he never said he likes me anymore or anything about that, and I can't really asume it. I want him to like me now because I like him now, and he was my biggest regret from highschool. But I can't really tell him because I kept ignoring his feeling for so long, I'm just not brave enough. I would like to know what to do and how to deal with this situation?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Your rejection of him years ago may still be an open wound plus the fact he may not want to jump at you on the rebound from his last girlfriend having just broken up with her.
I would say given those two facts as probabilities the ball is in your court to tell him how you feel and to see if he has any of those old feelings for you. There are several ways you can contact him, by phone, ask to meet again for coffee or over Facebook in a private chat. "
What you tell him is you enjoyed the chat you had and would like to meet again, that the chat brought back old memories and you can see how foolish you were to reject him in high school and you’re sorry for doing that to him. You would like to meet again and explore the possibility of the two of you seeing if a relationship can still be built.
Yes this is a bit forward of you however if I was in his place, depending on what your sister may have said to him, I would be a bit hesitant to jump into a relationship or even to attempt to start a relationship with you. So from my point of view you need to take the lead on this if you want to try and have a relationship with him.
I will suggest one thing if you do start to have a relationship. Agree to keep it out of the bedroom for a while until you are really sure you have built a foundation to a relationship. Sex too early in this type of relationship can be a relationship killer. You can make out do just about everything teenage daters would do; but stop short of going to bed together at least for the first few dates and you explore your commonalities.
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My reasoning is that if you've kept in touch enough for him to know you are also single now, then if he still had feelings for you or even curiousity to whether it might work now, then he'd be making some kind of move.
On the other hand, he may be the cautious type and having been turned away in the past, no matter how he feels, he might not make the first move this time to avoid being hurt.
Also keep in mind that who both of you were at graduation has changed quite a lot in 5 yrs time. People do a great amount of maturing, and developing or fine tuning of who they are and may have become very different people from who they were a handful of years ago. This would effect things like what you believe in, hopes dreams, and your likes in the opposite sex. At this point, there is no way for you to know whether he is interested only as a friend.
I know it may be scary putting yourself out there and asking something like, "Have you ever wondered if now that we've matured some,, whether there might be chance that we could be more than friends?" See how he answers and you may have to reassure him. No asking straight out if he'd like to go on a date cus thats too direct and scary and sounds of lots of expectations on the girls part. Since good guys care and dont like upsetting girls if they discover in dating that the spark isn't there, guys would rather not agree to go out than worry about how to let her down gently. If you ask in the what if mode as I stated above, its a good way to discover where he stands.
Think about this if you dont feel brave enough, the other option is doing nothing and he never makes the first move so even if both of you marry others, you will go thru the rest of your life wondering what might have happened if you had asked, wondering if this 50-50 5 chance that he could still be into you or grow to love you, could have happened. And you'd have to live with the torment of never knowing and that to me is worse because it lingers a lifetime whereas getting rejected if you ask now, is a short term thing to get over, more painful. But I'd rather face the short term pain than a life time one.
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