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Is there anything wrong with introverts?
So today since it's the New Year it's a tradition for my dad to do a New Years prayer so while he was praying he was praying that there shouldn't be any introverts in my family anymore. He was saying that directly at me since I'm an introvert, I got pretty pissed and told him that was rude and uncalled for then left. Is there anything wrong with introverts? I can't change my personality if he doesn't like it oh f**king well. Just because I'm an introvert doesn't mean I don't talk to people. I'm generally a shy person but since I stared university I had to get out of my comfort zone nobody was gonna come up to me and try to be friends I had to do it myself. So I don't understand why my dad said that as if being an introvert is a bad thing?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Parents aren't perfect. They all come with their own preconceived ideas and experiences and not ready to hear differently or change.
Here's my story. When I was little, I just didn't like the taste and texture of meat and didn't want to eat it at all. THe parents tried rewards, even threats but nothing worked. I was too young to explain or understand this all myself but in complaining to a coworker, Dad heard back that the child just may be a vegetarian and there's nothing wrong with that. I just to make sure I get my proteins other ways. Well, i grew up to love chicken and fish. Still don't like red meats. By now, I've been a parent too so I know what its like on both sides. There is no instruction manual on raising kids; unique to each child. Every parent is just another soul just a wee bit older in a human body than you but the soul may not be any more mature or 'enlightened' than its own child. In some cases, there are kids who know their parents souls were quite primitive in their beliefs and thinking so the kid never felt they fit.
Warning: Parents do have downfalls. They are not very open to correction by their children, even if they are wrong. As in my case, a peer told my Dad that being a vegetarian is okay and it might take coming from someone other than you if your Dad is like this in other matters, feeling like he needs to be the well informed leader, well versed and knowledgable in many different matters. Between you and me, I believe he also has no clue on just basic interaction and understanding of different types of people and personalities, but possibly also no idea of how God operates or any clue about prayers because of what you claim he prayed.
So if hes a person who must save face, just talking to him may not help. Do try first but if you could research personality types on line and find something that resonates with you in explanation of your personality type, then I would share it with your grandparents,(his parents) or aunts, uncles (his siblings) or his best friend to share with him when he's open to hearing it.)
Try not to stay irritated at him for this. He is only doing so because he loves you and feels there is something needing improvement so you are better equipped for adult life, even tho he is wrong
If you do not have social anxiety and do speak with people as needed and you are more concise and to the point in conversation rather than going off on many different tangents as the chatty types, then you are fine and will succeed in life. As long as you learn how to work with all personality types as needed like for work or school, then you'll be fine. ANd when you go to pick a mate someday, they will reflect your personality more than that of the family or Dad. So be thinking ahead that bumps like this may not be all over yet. He may have a hard time getting used to an 'in-law' who's more like you.
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There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. I have always considered myself an introvert. I was shy around everyone including girls. Would you believe I ended up in the worst career for an introverted person and succeeded beyond anyone who knows me wildest dreams? For my entire working life I worked in sales and marketing. Yikes you have to talk to strangers, worse you have to make them your friend if you are going to sell to them rapidly.
Yes I was way out of my comfort zone when I started and I had to work at being more extroverted and still do even though I'm retired now. It is my belief that a large part of my success was the fact that I had to work at being extroverted and this came across to the people I was selling to as a type of honesty in my presentations.
While I would never purposely lie to a client; I believe that having to work at being more extroverted made me different then most sales people especially the hard line salesperson. You know the type we generally portray them as the used car salesman.
No there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, as long as you are aware and willing to work at being more outgoing when you need to be. I believe your fathers concern is that being introverted will hold you back. This does not have to be. I see in your writing you already know this for you said, "I had to get out of my comfort zone nobody was gonna come up to me and try to be friends I had to do it myself."
My suggestion is you talk to your dad and let him know he has nothing to worry about. Let him know that you know there are times when you will need to expand or even step out of your comfort zone. As a parent of someone your age I believe this will mean a great deal to him.
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There's absolutely nothing wrong in having a nature which tends towards introvert rather than extrovert. A degree of reserve/reticence is no vice and is often a good thing. We all want to be on-board, but we don't necessarily want to fall overboard! There's only one 'life and soul' of any party. There's only one 'centre-stage'. Complete with spotlight! We don't all feel the need to own it and hog it. Don't let reticence become a total withdrawal though. Then you'll be reluctant to join in the party at all, even when you see others in there and having fun. It's all a matter of degree. You mention taking the initiative in socialising in your university life? Well, as you've realised there are times when you have to take the initiative. Seize the day. When we need to promote ourselves and 'blow our own trumpet' as it were. Then you suppress your natural reticence, grit your teeth and step-up to the mark. Your 'I am what I am' attitude is admirable. Shows autonomy, and strong sense of identity and self-confidence. In this case I don't hesitate to say, you're right and your dad is less right. He's allowing his personal opinion to dominate, and indeed putting it up as some sort of universal maxim. Which it certainly isn't. Best wishes for 2017 mate.
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