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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

okay so ever since my dad moved my mom has been a total ass.she puts my rhodesian ridgeback pup outside in the cold and lets him starve until she feels like feeding him , she took my phone away from me even though my dad payed for it and i was charging it at a friends house then she blocks me from going to this years black friday with my uncle and i have been waiting for that for a while. i got in trouble for fighting with her and now i got a court date. basically can someone help keep me sane . thanks

The court date may be the best thing that ever happened to you. You will have an opportunity to tell your side of what is happening to you. You will need to have an advocate, even in juvenile or may be what is called family court. Make sure to ask for one.

You need to tell your advocate, who will be a lawyer what is going on. It sounds like mom is punishing you for misbehaving. If she is unjustly punishing you the court will take all of this under consideration and make the appropriate judgment(s).

Being summoned to court does not mean you are automatically guilty of anything. Remember you are innocent until proven otherwise even in juvenile proceedings. Being summoned to court only means that the officers who may have responded were unable to resolve the issue or felt this matter was better served in court.

Remember to ask for an advocate, lawyer; be truthful with the advocate and with the court. The truth is what will be judged by the court. Just because you have been summoned to court does not mean you will be punished. Mom will have to be there and you both get a chance to tell the judge your side of what happened and what has lead up to this. Be truthful, if the judge feels mom is wrong the judge will deal with mom.

I'm 13 and I'm going through a really tough time right now. Sometimes i think about cutting myself, but every time i go to cut myself I get scared and stop. I will take a super sharp pencil and dig it into my wrist but the marks don't stay long enough to make me feel better, so my question is, what do I do to either get over my fear of cutting or get rid of the thought altogether?

You haven't said what the tough time is that you are going through. Whatever it is it is causing you to be anxious and most likely depressed over whatever it is. These are the two main reasons a person wants to cut themselves.

I would rather you not cut yourself. I'm going to offer you an alternative to cutting. It is something psychologists use when helping people with anxiety who cut themselves.

Find yourself a big thick rubber band and let it hang loosely from one of your wrists. When you have the urge to cut snap the rubber band instead; until the urge to cut passes. This is safer than cutting and will help relieve the anxiety attack you are having.

You also need to get help in dealing with the problem that is causing you to anxious. You need to talk to your parents and ask to be taken to you family doctor. Tell your parents you have had the desire to cut. Tell them you need to be screened for depression.

Should there be a reason you cannot talk to your parents then talk with a trusted teacher or the school nurse.

Is their something wrong with me because i have small boobs? What does that mean?

You would be surprised how many men, not boys, love small breasted women. When a women is well proportioned to her body frame the size of her breasts becomes insignificant.

Please don't fixate on the size of your breast, especially if your under 19 or even 21. Puberty can last until age 21. Until you finish with puberty you breasts as well as the rest of your body shape can continue to change.

If your breasts are well proportioned to your body then you are one of the lucky women who will have no trouble finding clothes that will fit properly. Women with breast too large for their frame complain they can never find clothes that fit which includes swim suits.

So relax and if you are under 19 or 21 give yourself a chance to finish puberty.

Its that time of the month. I have a pain. IT IS SO SORE THAT I cry

I'm sorry your in pain. The advice NinjaNeer gave you is good advice and you would do well to try it.

I am guessing you are a young girl experiencing her first menses. Unfortunately they can be painful. Sometimes these pains will lighten up as you get older and have more periods, some times not.

Writing to us to get peer help for this problem is not a bad idea but really good help is a lot closer. Your menstrual cycle is a normal bodily function, it has nothing to do with sex even though it is part of a woman's reproductive system. Therefore there is no reason to be embarrassed to talk with your mother about this.

Facts are that mom has most likely gone through what you have when she first got her period. Mom can be a big help with things like this and she will know much better than any of us whether a doctor can help relieve you pain. Which would be my advice if NijaNeer's advise does work.

My advice is to always talk to mom about these things. Remembered two things about mom. First; she changed your diapers so there is nothing she hasn't seen. Second; Your body and moms body are very much a like. You're wearing her genes, so it is most likely that whatever you experience she experienced also. Third, Mom or dad is always the best source of information or advice if something could be medically wrong with you. So seek them out where something is bothering you. Just because someone else has or had a similar pain does not mean that you both have the same problem.

I recently told my boyfriend that I was raped and this may sound funny, but he didn't react the way I thought he would. He was like" Oh I'm sorry baby", but his actions make me think that all he really cared about is getting me comfortable enough to get in my pants. Was I wrong to tell him? I feel like he is using that against me. I tell him I don't want to do things, and by the end of the night he has gotten me to do things. I feel like I can't tell him no because the last time I did I got raped. I'm afraid. What do I do?? Please help if you can.

I am very sorry you were raped. Rape is probably the worst trauma a women can ever endure and should never happen to you or any other women. Most important please understand you did not do anything to cause your being raped. Saying no is not a cause for rape. You are a victim not a cause.

You were not wrong in telling your boyfriend, you expected him to comfort you. Instead all he wanted was sex. This to was wrong and based on what you have written and why you may have given into him; tells me you were in essence raped again. You gave in out of fear of being raped again.

If you have sex with a man because you are afraid to say no for fear of being raped. In my mind you are being raped again each time you give in to someone because of that fear. This is not consensual sex as I would describe it. If your consent is out of fear of being raped for saying no, then you are being raped, again in my mind.

It sounds to me as if you were date raped; "I feel like I can't tell him no because the last time I did I got raped." This means you know the person that raped you. This means that if you have not reported the rape each time you see this person you relive the rape all over again.

If you were my daughter and I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather this is what I would be trying to get you to do.

First: I would ask you to bring charges against this young man for the rape. Yes, I know some time has probably past since the rape and the forensic evidence is properly gone. Still you need to trust the police and prosecutors to find evidence and possibly others he may have date raped with which to build a case or cause him to plead guilty.

Second: If you have not had rape counseling you need to get some. The rape will never go away. It is something that happened to you. You need to learn to deal with it in a manner that will allow you to have a normal life and sex life. Not a sex life where you have to have sex to avoid being raped. That is not a sex life that's avoidance and that can not be pleasurable for you.

There is an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by volunteers who will talk with you and help you find professional in your home town who can help you learn to deal with what has happened. Their phone number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them and let them help you.

You cannot forget what has happened to you. You can learn how to probably live with what has happened and to take control of your life and sex life so you can enjoy both.

I'm a 19 year old male of mixed race. My life has been a nightmare starting with my childhood. I was beaten by my religious fanatic father regularly, and was molested by my babysitters 12 year old daughter at the age of 7. Every close friend I made from kindergarten to elementary school moved away. I began setting fires and choking dogs and hamsters from a young age, and have always wanted to kill people. I have been bullied throughout my life for various reasons, and at one point planned on shooting up my high school. I was kicked out of 2 high schools for fighting and subsequently attempted suicide twice. I have been to psychiatric hospitals and have been in counseling for years. I seem to only attract emotionally abusive women, and my friends always betray me. I see no value in human life, and could easily torture anyone to death, even my whole family and feel nothing. I don't have any emotions and I don't think there is nothing I can do to change at this point. What should I do?

Asking for help tells me that somewhere deep inside there is a good person trying to get out. Psychiatry is not truly an exact science. Sure they can medicate you into a compliant state but you become somewhat of a walking zombie as well.

One thing I have personally found out about psychotherapy is it works best when you are totally comfortable with your therapist. Sometimes this takes a few tries to find that therapist you can be comfortable with.

As for being a psychopath; I'm not a psychiatrist so I can't make that diagnosis. I can see that you have a problem personality. Can that be labeled a personality disorder, same answer. What I can see from what you have written is that it appears you have every right to have a problem personality. You have not had anything near an ideal childhood.

I am going to recommend you contact a group called RAINN. They are a national Network that specializes on helping people that have been abused. The name RAINN actually stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. While I'm not sure the volunteer that answers your call can be of too much help. what I am sure of is they can help you find a physician you will be comfortable enough with to get the treatment you need and have the best chance of success. Their hotline number is, 1-800-656-HOPE. This number is answered 24/7. Please call them.

Im 16/male and i want a friend like that
I mean like we can hang out and just chill together without any attachments and still do sexual stuff
Im tired of relationships that wont last so i decided maybe i should try this
I hope theres a girl out there willing to try it with me.

Friends with benefits is an adult term for a relationship, not something a 16 year old should be looking for. In fact I should be giving you a lecture on abstinence and the perils of teenage sex. I somehow feel though I would be wasting my time.

One of the reasons an adult will look for a friend with benefits is not having the time to chase someone of the opposite sex to form a relationship. They are to bogged down in their career or Grad school to make time for a social life. That's where a friend with benefits comes in.

You're 16, you have the time for a social life. You need to learn the thrill of the chase. To be rejected, to have your face slapped a few times so that as you get older you have the social skills to move among your peers.

Right now your peer group says you need to have a steady girlfriend to hang out with and have to tag along with you when you are with your friends or hers. Sometimes these relationships last just weeks or months. Other times they will last years. What is important is that this is part and parcel of a teenage social life, something you need to experience and learn to live within that life experience.

So forget about looking for a friend with benefits for tow reasons. One it is wrong in the first place. Two you probably waste your time finding a girl of your age willing to participate in such an arrangement.

Ok so by best friend (he also happens to be the boy I like) is epileptic. (Just as a little background, we're both 14 and freshman in high school.) He's had petite mal seizures in school before, but he just spaces out, and usually I'm the one who takes him to the nurse. And I never really worried about him. But roughly a week and a half ago, he had a grand mal seizure. he was screaming and spazzing out and foaming at the mouth. I was so worried about him. I knew that he had had grand mal seizures before, and he'd be ok, but ever since I saw him like that, everything he does makes me so worried. I've tried talking to him about it but he thinks he looks stupid when he has a seizure and so I guess he was embarrassed, and now he refuses to talk about it. And now he told me the other day that his medication might be damaging his liver. He's my best friend and I care a lot about him, but this constant worrying is driving me crazy. What should I do? All advice is appreciated.

You are doing the best thing you can do for him and that is being there for him when he needs you. A grand Mal seizure is a scary thing to witness. What you need to know is what to do for him while he is having one. The worst thing that can be done for him is the wrong thing. If you haven't learned what the right thing to do for him is then you might want to find out.

Staying with him and calling 911 is one of the things you should do for him. If the seizure stops before the fire rescue team arrives stay with him and keep him comfortable until they arrive; then let them do what they know how to do. Go with him to the hospital as a friendly face of someone he knows is important. Since this probably can and will happen in school you probably will need written permission from both his and your parents to leave school and accompany him.

Most important is what to do for him while he is having a seizure. Their are certain things that should be done for anyone having a seizure and their may be specific things his doctor wants done for him. For that reason I am not going to say what you need to do. You should talk with his parents to find out exactly what needs to be done for him while he is having a seizure.

Being a good friend to him such as you are doing is very important. Yes he is embarrassed by his seizures. He shouldn't be, he has a medical problem just like a diabetic or someone with many other disorders that take time to be regulated with medication. Teenagers are harder to regulate with medication as they are growing and their bodies are constantly changing.

Stand up for him if people tease him or bully him for his medical condition and report them to a teacher or principal. Let him know that while he is sick and may be a little bit special in his needs, he is still a normal teenage boy. These are the best things you can do for him. His doctor will monitor his liver so that is something neither you or he really needs to worry about.

I have a rather large problem. I recently started a new job, and everything was going fine. Until our new teamleader arrived. At first I just saw him as a boss but..
He's so funny, he's really nice, he's ...well attractive. I'd rather not go into it.
Reason I don't want the crush?
A. He's my supervisor
B. If that wasn't bad enough, he's married.
C. If those two didn't cinch it, he's got a CHILD.
He's not that much older than me, though I try not to ask because I don't want to fuel this stupid thing.
I've tried to meet someone to get my mind off it but its not working. I can't leave my job. I need the income and I don't think 'i like my boss' is a good enough reason to transfer.

You can look at this in the same manner as you would look on a crush you had on a teacher at school. You can have the crush but you can't act on it in anyway, not even to flirt with him as it is inappropriate.

Even if he was not married it is inappropriate for him to have any type of romantic adventures with a subordinate. If discovered one or both of you would be out of jobs.

Best thing to d is get over it. He is married and not available to you. Even if he was interested in you, married or not, it is still inappropriate and you place your job in jeopardy. To not "fuel this stupid thing," you look elsewhere for a romantic interest and just keep telling yourself this is just a crush that can't be acted upon.

If you cannot summon up the willpower to leave this person alone and try not to get him romantically involved with you, then you should look for a new job or a transfer to another position within the company.

what is the average size for a 14 year old male

According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Keep in mind that this is the average, the middle between the largest and the smallest, above the micro-penis (below 2 inches in length). The survey states that size varies based on age, time of day, level of excitement and ambient temperature.

What you are born with is what you have. There is no way to enhance, or enlarge a penis even with surgery. Penile surgery is usually done to assist those with erectile dysfunction when there is no other medical solution that will help.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

As you can see by the size chart of the average female vagina. Any penis over 6 inches in length and 2 inches in girth is larger than the average vagina can easily accommodate. A larger penis will cause a woman with an average sized vagina pain during intercourse, especially if the male is not a thoughtful and considerate lover.

I was raped about a year ago and I have slowly began to date.I feel like I have to do things with my boyfriend. He keeps saying things like "oh well when your ready", but he says it a lot, like if he says it enough I will change my mind. We do things, but I end up freaking out and feeling guilty about it afterwards. We attempted sex once,but I ended up shoving him away and curling up and crying. Any ideas on ways to help? Please I feel lost!!

My sincerest apologies for what has happened to you. No one should have to go through what has happened to you. From what you have written I have the feeling this is still are unresolved issue for you, in that you have not sought professional help to deal with.

There is an organization I would like you to call. The name of the organization RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 national hotline with trained volunteers to speak with you and help you find professional in your own neighborhood who can help you deal with what has happened. Their number is: 1-800-656-HOPE.

Rape is not a trauma you can deal with on your own. You cannot shove it to the back of your mind and say it doesn't bother me or it never happened. It did happened and it does and will bother you if not dealt with properly. One of the things that happens quite often you have already said; "I ended up shoving him away and curling up and crying." It can happen again even after you think you can be comfortable having sexual relations again. Something will happen, a smell, a sound, the way your lover touches you may trigger a memory.

Let's make something perfectly clear. YOU DID NOTHING TO CAUSE YOU TO BE RAPED. No women asks to be raped. Even if this was a date rape, the most common of rapes, YOU DID NOT ASK TO BE RAPEd. Your being raped is all on the man that raped you. Why am I telling you this. Because every women who has been raped feels they did something to cause them to be raped and this is just not true.

If you have not had professional help to properly deal with this trauma please, please call the people at RAINN. If you have had some help in the form of talk therapy then you need to go back into therapy for it is apparent to me you still have unresolved issues.

Hi,
I'm a 26-year-old college graduate with my Bachelor of Arts in English. It took me awhile to graduate because I wasn't sure if a formal education was what I wanted or needed. My parents assured me it was but, so I finally finished my degree a couple months ago. My parents insisted that I have a full-time job until I found something better so I currently work at a daycare. Even though they don't understand, the job is very stressful--and I get paid minimum wage without any benefits. I really would like to try something new but my parents only want me in a professional job. I also live in MI and the job market is awful here. I feel like I should abide my parents wishes since I live under their roof, but like I previously stated, I am absolutely miserable at this job. I've been snapping at the children lately and I really feel like the stress has been getting to me. My parents say, "deal with it--you need to pay your dues, everyone has stress in their life" My question is: doesn't my happiness count to. Do they really want me to be happy or do they just want me to find a professional job so they can push me out the door as soon as possible. I'm considered a "loser" in my family because it took me so long to graduate and I don't have a good job. A lot of emphasis is put on careers in my family. I don't know what to do; I'd rather work another less stressful job, even if I'm still getting minimum wage. I feel like I put way too much work and effort into my job to be paid so little. What are your thoughts on the matter-do you think I just have to bite the bullet and do what my parents want or do you think a job is a job and as long as I find a replacement, it shouldn't be an issue. Please let me know; I would greatly appreciate your help and insight. Thanks, Whitney

You have asked several questions as well as made some statements I would like to address.

Lets start with an easy one; your happiness: Yes you are entitled to be happy, everyone is. Part of being happy is a job you actually like doing. You can have a job that pays all the money you could ever have and still not be happy. You could have a job that pays very little and be extremely happy.

This does not or would not mean you are a loser. Any job that pays an honest dollar for an honest days work is a good job. If your good at that job and you are happy at at job this counts more than having a job you are miserable at and makes you unhappy. You cannot in my estimation be a "Loser" when you are working at an honest job, making an honest dollar, regardless of whether you are happy or not.

"I feel like I should abide my parents wishes since I live under their roof." You should be very proud of yourself for wanting to live by this rule. You are also stifling yourself by trying to honor them this way. It is unfortunate that many young people today cannot leave the nest as they are destined to much earlier in life. You are indeed fortunate that your parents are not forcing you out. They should not be forcing rules on you meant for young teenagers. Your an adult and you need to find you way in life. Yes the job market where you live is bad. This means to find a more fulfilling job you may have to look outside the area you live in, possibly in another state. You need the freedom to do so.

There are pockets of areas where jobs are plentiful. The Dakotas have jobs going empty. The District of Columbia has a very low unemployment rate for educated people. If this is what you want, a job you are qualified for and would be happy in. Then you need to be prepared to move. You need rent, food, transportation and utility money to hold you until the first pay check arrives. Once you have this money start searching for these out of state, out of area jobs.

You can continue to work at the job you have while job searching. Use the web to send out resumes and complete online applications. Many of these out of state positions will do initial interviews over the phone. If invited for a face to face interview it is almost granted you will be hired.

For what it is worth I don't think you are a loser. You are caught between the old ways and the unfortunate situation of today. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself living off your parents and not working, had not finished college. In other words just being a free loading dead beat, then maybe you could classify yourself as a loser. I don't see that here.

About the only thing I can see here is that if you want a better job where you presently live you are going to have to look harder for the few that may exist. The alternative is to look to relocate to where the jobs do exist.

I wasn't really sure where to sort this one... I'm 14 years old and I consider myself to be a very active person in every sense of the word. I'm on my schools basketball team, have a band, i go for runs and run a roleplaying website and -- anyway, I really thrive on doing things. Last week I broke a finger during practice and that consiquently cut me from a lot of these activities. Three months of training and I probably wont see a game, I cant touch my guitar, and I'm not supposed to write more than nessiccary. I go to basketball and band practice but all i can do is sit and watch everyone and its honestly kind of depressing. And these are the things that have always KEPT me from being depressed... Then I find that i've been a lot more irritable in general, and taking my frustration out on my friends and family, which is wrong. I know I need to find something to do with myself, but I'm drawing a hundred blanks, and I honestly feel stupid for asking this here, but I feel like if i keep this up I'll really be a mess after the next two months. Please and thank you to anyone that took the time to read.

Being active and suddenly finding yourself limited in what you can do is very frustrating. A broken finger should not stop you from running so that is one activity you can continue. You can continue your website activities; you may just have to settle for the hunt and peck method of typing until your finger is healed. You can continue your writing on the computer using the same hunt and peck method of typing if you want. There is also software out there that is relatively affordable that allows you to speak what you want typed and the program types what you speak. This would help with your writing as well.

I see only two things that you are really restricted from. Your guitar playing and basketball. I don't have a solution for the guitar. For basketball there are other things you probably can do while sidelined if you ask your coach. You could be the records keeper or assist the coaches with coaching and many other things.

Your an active person, what you need to do is find some new ways to remain active in those activities you enjoy until you can fully participate again. A little outside the box thinking is all that is needed. IF you think more about what a can do attitude will do for you than sit and cry over a can't do attitude you will find away to stay active.

Ok I posted a question on here talking about anxiety. Well it's definitely not anxiety. So here's what happened I was at lunch and I had just finished my whole sandwich and my whole water bottle when it happened again. I was sitting down and there was nothing to be nervous about. What "it" is, is that it feels like I'm in a dream. I don't feel pain. I can read, talk, write, and hear perfectly fine. I know no one on here are doctors but does anyone know what this could possibly be? It's positively not anxiety. I asked my parents to make an appointment to a bigger hospital but my grandpa is in a hospital with cancer so my mom doesn't want to worry my other family members more while my dad thinks I should go. I also think I need to go because what if this is really serious? I'm not old enough to go to any doctors by myself yet because I'm still only 13. I really think I need to go to new York city as soon as they can fit in an appointment. If this happens again I swear I dont know what I will do. I need help!!!

I looked up "Depersonalization Disorder"; Doctors feel there are several reasons for this disorder. As I suspected among them is depression. While I was suffering from depression and being treated for depression I too experienced what you wrote about. Now I have a name for it, at the time I felt it was more of a day dream.

With your grandfather in the hospital being treated for cancer and some of the normal stressors today's teenagers are under add to that early stages of puberty. It is possible you tripped the bar for clinical depression. Clinical depression is actually the bodies inability to manufacture enough of one or two hormones or both of them to control moods.

I don't know why you feel you need to go to NYC for treatment, though you and your dad are correct you do need treatment. The best doctor(s) to treat this are a Board Certified Psychiatrist for medication; as the hormones are secreted into the brain, and a clinical psychologist for talk therapy to help relieve the stress.

Your not crazy, a board certified psychiatrist is an MD with training and a fellowship in psychiatry. Since the chemicals involved secrete into the brain a psychiatrist is better credentialed to treat you than a GP.

If you need to go into NYC to find one then do so. Having lived on long Island for many years before moving to my present residence I know there are many good doctors available in the 5 boroughs and tri-state area that can treat you without having to go into the city.

Finding doctors to treat you close to home is a plus in this case and there are plenty of good hospital in these areas in which to find these doctors if need be.

I'm 19/f and i have a pretty good sex life. I don't finger myself though is that weird or uncommon? I'm just kind of creeped out by vaginas and id rather not touch it haha does anyone else have this problem?

Is it normal or not to not want to masturbated? Yes it is normal, not everyone gets pleasure from self-stimulation.

What does bother me a bit is you said; I'm just kind of creeped out by vagina's." Your vagina is part of your body just as is your mouth, nose, ears and breasts. Why would your vagina creep you out? I can understand not wanting to touch another girls vagina. I would not want to touch another mans penis. But not touching or wanting to touch my own penis is something I would have a hard time avoiding, if you understand what I'm saying.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation; 85% of us do it, including married adults. Masturbation is part of foreplay although it is called mutual masturbation at that time. Most religions do not condemn masturbation including the Catholic church.

I'm not saying you have to masturbate. You can be part of the 15% that do not for whatever reason. What I am suggesting is you look into why you do not like touching your own vagina. Your vagina is part of your body. Not wanting to touch a part of your body has serious implications that need to be resolved.

Ok so I'm kind of being a chump about this but I've been working out of town the past few weeks and I asked my wife to come see me at the hotel and stay a night or two she says she doesn't want to because of money but I'm working out of town making money I Dnt understand y she wouldn't want to come so I guess I'm trying yo figure out the reasoning and what I should do

This is a tough question to answer. If your wife is like my wife I would know she does not and is not comfortable driving on highways and would be very uncomfortable driving any distance if it involved highway driving.

If your wife won't or can't come to you; is there any reason you can't go home to her? I understand a romantic weekend in your hotel may be appealing to you; if not possible then you go to her.

You left out if you have children. If so what are the logistical problems in getting the children looked after for the weekend. I realize your looking forward to a nice comfortable probably sex filled weekend with your wife. Problem is what good are your fantasies if your wife arrives to exhausted to participate.

So before you consider yourself a "Chump" find out the reason. Your wife may have valid reasons for not making the trip. Her reasons may have nothing to do with what you may be thinking.

It is impossible to recall a bullet after it has left the barrel. If your thoughts are in the line I'm thinking they are and you act on them without investigation or talking to her first. You may be very sorry for whatever actions you take based on you thinking. Sort of shooting first and asking questions later. Bad examples but I think you get my meaning.

Talk to your wife first, then act if you must.

Hey thank you for the information that's more then my doctor has told me I'm not a teen I'm 20 I never new they was a name for what is happing to me and when I found out there was I kept saying no I don't have there and what I'm doing is fine it isn't for a deit plan it just makes me feel better its been going on for a long time and its got to the ponit where I don't no what do do anymore and my home town doctors are crap I have got ill from this illness but I just can't stop I don't no how to

Some local GP's are not trained or don't always look beyond the norm for issues. I call it looking for the pickle in the herring barrel. They are use to looking for pickles. You need to get on top of this situation before it causes you anymore harm. You have said, "I have got ill from this illness," You also said, "but I just can't stop I don't no how to." Since you are at somewhat at a loss of what to do I will give you my thoughts of what the next steps are.

The first and biggest step is asking for help; you have done this by writing to us and I am very proud of you for taking that step. You should also be very proud of yourself for realizing you are hurting yourself and needing help.

Contact this hospitals patient referral line, all hospitals have them. Ask to have an appointment made with an Internist. The referral specialist will ask why you wish to see an internist. Tell them you believe you are bulimic and why. The internist will not only be your primary physician but will be the team leader in charge of your care.

Why am I suggesting this type of hospital? The level of care required by a level one trauma center attracts the best qualified doctors. They are also usually teaching hospitals as well. Being so the doctors there are always on their toes as the students and resident doctors are always looking for the herring in the pickle barrel.

Most bulimia patients can be treated on an outpatient basis. After the internet has fully examined you and the other doctors and clinicians have met with you it may be determined if is in your best interest to have you be an inpatient for a short while. Don't fight this decision. If they are going to get you well and hopefully correct whatever harm you may have done yourself they need the best opportunity to do so. This may mean a short stay in the hospital.

So my suggestion is to find either a level one trauma hospital or a teaching hospital close to you. Contact the referral line and ask to see an Internet. I believe this is the best way to gain back control over your eating dis order.

Good luck and I'm here for you should you need to write to me again.

How do i get rid of my period

There are certain forms of birth control that will stop your period from happening for several months at a time. This is something you will need to discuss with your doctor.

There are only two ways to stop your period all together. First is to wait until you reach menopause, which will usually begin sometime in your late 40's to mid 50's or even later. The other is to have your uterus removed, a hysterectomy. Depending on your age you may have trouble finding a doctor to preform and elective hysterectomy.

Recently some doctors have considered elective hysterectomy and mastectomies when cervical or breast cancer is prevalent in ones family. These are usually done for women who have had their children and are at risk for these diseases.

I have serious doubts you will find a doctor to remove your uterus because of period problems. If you suffer from endometriosis that may be a factor a doctor would consider. Whatever your decision make sure your doctor is a board certified gynecologist. This gives you the greatest assurance of a good outcome.

how to use advicenator and can i add frens?

Advicenators is not a social website like facebook, if that is the question you are asking.

What is Advicenators:A website where people can write for help with questions, concerns or problems they have that they need answers to. The advisers on this site are not professional but just people who may have experienced some of these problems and have some insight with which to offer advice. For the questioner or answer seeker the advisers are a soft shoulder to cry on anonymously. For the advisor, we get a chance to offer hope where need, a friend when needed and advice when asked for.

If being builmic what can it do to your body?

Zane has said it all. I'll just add an explanation as to the why and how.

Our bodies are designed to save themselves. To do this if they don't get what they need to survive they start a systematic shut down of different body functions to preserve the two most vital functions; these being the heart and the brain.By the time a person reaches this point they are probably in a hospital on life support with little of no chance of survival.

The first system to shut down is normally the Kidneys, followed by the liver. At this point the person usually has a raging infection. This is generally, if the infections are not reversed and the liver and kidneys made to function, followed by comma and death.

If you are bulimic you need to see a doctor right away and get help. Bulimia is not a diet plan. It is a plan that will eventually maim or kill you. If you are a teenager talk to your parents, a teacher or the school nurse. Most importantly is to tell someone and get help before you do irreparable harm to yourself.

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