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Unwanted crush on a married man with a child... he is also my boss. :(
I have a rather large problem. I recently started a new job, and everything was going fine. Until our new teamleader arrived. At first I just saw him as a boss but..
He's so funny, he's really nice, he's ...well attractive. I'd rather not go into it.
Reason I don't want the crush?
A. He's my supervisor
B. If that wasn't bad enough, he's married.
C. If those two didn't cinch it, he's got a CHILD.
He's not that much older than me, though I try not to ask because I don't want to fuel this stupid thing.
I've tried to meet someone to get my mind off it but its not working. I can't leave my job. I need the income and I don't think 'i like my boss' is a good enough reason to transfer.
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You can look at this in the same manner as you would look on a crush you had on a teacher at school. You can have the crush but you can't act on it in anyway, not even to flirt with him as it is inappropriate.
Even if he was not married it is inappropriate for him to have any type of romantic adventures with a subordinate. If discovered one or both of you would be out of jobs.
Best thing to d is get over it. He is married and not available to you. Even if he was interested in you, married or not, it is still inappropriate and you place your job in jeopardy. To not "fuel this stupid thing," you look elsewhere for a romantic interest and just keep telling yourself this is just a crush that can't be acted upon.
If you cannot summon up the willpower to leave this person alone and try not to get him romantically involved with you, then you should look for a new job or a transfer to another position within the company.
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Your crush on your supervisor is a lost cause, It won't get anywhere nor should it.
It is highly inappropriate to date a boss at any job and in some companies it isn't tolerate and is against the rules of the company as well.
Yes, This man is married with a child. These are also two very good reasons the thought it even out of the question. Acknowledge that he is not right for you and move on from it. You are there to do your job and get the job done not too date your coworkers. Shrug it off, Get over it and move on.
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If you can't ignore it, you might as well enjoy it.
No, I am not telling you to go for it... that would be disastrous. However, crushes are pretty harmless if you recognize them for what they are and deal with them appropriately.
It's normal to have crushes. Look at your crush on your boss, know it for what it is, and enjoy it. Hey, they're kind of fun to have. Just remember that you see him at his best. At work, he has to be charming and well-groomed and well-dressed. At home he probably clips his toenails on the living room couch, snores like a chainsaw and doesn't shave for 3 days straight. You get to hang out with the cute, funny part without any of the gross parts (also without any of the deeper parts of a relationship). That's why crushes are fun. You can enjoy the eye candy, then send him home and look for someone who's compatible, equally attractive and funny (if not more so) and just right for you.
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