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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I really liked this guy, so I figured I had nothing to lose by telling him the truth. Here's what happened:
"I like you, and think you're cute. What do you think of me?" I whispered.
"You're awesome," he said.
"Do you like me?" I asked.
"Yeah, I like you."
But then I was confused because my friend told me that he might've only meant he liked me as a friend. So I asked again did he like-like me and he said, "I don't know". And only a few minutes after, I caught him rolling his eyes at me. The next day, I ignored him and he kept staring at me always wanted to be near me. Plus, I heard one of his guy friends say, "She's probably just playing hard to get". I decided to stop ignoring him, so I started texting him. The only reason I ever ignored him was because his answer confused me. I sent him a nice text saying, "Sorry by making things awkward between us by saying I liked you.." and he didn't reply, even though he read it....
I saw him today for the first time in two months, and I ask, "Do you like me....you did say that you did..." and he said, "Oh really? I don't remember that, I only like you as a friend! We only see each other once a week!" And now, he acts really awkward around me. I'll tell a really funny joke, and everyone will laugh, except him. Plus, he's always around me.... So strange.
To let you know, we're 14. And he's never had gf. He's the outgoing/joker type.
I think you scared the guy by asking him the same question a second time. He was rolling his eyes at you cus he just couldnt understand where you were coming from. LEts say I'm a girl in your school and you asked Do you want to go to the movies on Sat. and I said yes but another girl says, she may want to go to the movies but not go with you. If you came back minutes later and asked the same question, I might have said, Whats wrong with you?
I already answered you. Why are you asking again?
Guys get gun shy and will negate anything they said before if a girl makes them nervous and he isn't sure what her expectations are.
Guys don't know how to respond to the question: Do you like me.
Just seeing someone on a somewhat regular basis through school or work or sports, etc...isn't enough to know enough about the person to know if you really like them and have stuff in common. So in truth, a guy can't answer that question yes or no. It would be more of an I don't know. But because of his age and inexperience in such things, it didn't occur to him to say, "maybe we should find ways to spend more time hanging out together to see if we have enough in common that we could possiblyy like each other."
If I were a guy and had no contact with you for two month and one of the first things you say to me again is the same old question...do y like me? By now he must think you're pretty strange even though you aren't. You're just a normal girl. But thats why he is trying to protect himself by sayibg I like you only as a friend.
Guys are too scared that a girl will make too much of a guy paying attention to her and jump several steps ahead of where they are really at.
Forget the texting and let him see your facial expressions and body language when you next see him. You need to learn about how to talk to guys and he needs to learn to understand what girls mean when they say certain things. So if I were you, I'd approach him and say, Don't worry, I'm not going to ask that question again. I realize I have no idea how to understand guys and how to communicate with them. Would you as a friend be willing to teach me? I know I've gone at it all wrong by asking if you liked me and asking again and again. I truly have no idea and I want to learn. I hope I haven't scared you away. Will you help me?
That would take the pressure off. He's not committing to any kind of committed relationship, he's not having to admit to liking you, he simply has a project to work on, helping you get comfortable talking to guys. In the process, he will learn something about girls. In spending time chatting or in person together, you maynaturally begin to real discover you have enough in common and that an attraction has developed to go further and date. Or you just may become best friends. And both of you help each other through talking to and dating the person who is right for you.
Lastly, if he still finds time to hang out near enough that he's like an arms length away, that subconscious body language that a person likes you. So even if he denies it, they feel comfortable around you, enjoy the vibes coming off you and feel they can trust you. It isn't truly a strong like, but it's certainly an attraction to a persons looks and how they carry themselves and act in social settings.
I have been dating this guy for 3 years we have a son and we live in separate states. He's someone from high school that always liked me, I wasn't interested then but we saw each other 20 yrs later and here we are. We were both married and separated at the time we met although for financial reasons my husband was still in the same house in separate rooms. My question is that everytime this man gets mad he shuts down and stops talking to me completely his mood swings are so bad most times I don't know what sets him off the last time it was because he felt I wasn't helping him with his homework. He closed the computer and walked away and shut down
My other issue is he has a female friend I never met and the relationship is so secretive, he goes to all her events without me and she cried when he told her about our son, he is her sons god father and she just broke up with her man he's been her shoulder he bought her a spa gift for Mother's Day and he lies about going out with her sometimes when I say how uncomfortable I am about her he shuts done lastly he flirts with the same women daily same deal
He wants me to move there I have a job offer, but I'm reluctant to move there because of uncertainties. He has planned a trip for us in October I m not sure if I want to go there or move to his state
Any advice?
Alright,so he's always been interested in you for some reason. You weren't until you were separated from husband. Could it be that although you have a son together, your only reason to getting into a relationship with him was one of those 'rebound' reasons? After a marriage that didn't work, is there a slight chance you are wanting to feel like another guy can find you interesting and be attracted to you? I left a loveless 1st marriage, the husband was verbally abusive so I know what goes through our minds. Will another guy ever like me? I had to know what type of guy I did not like and to back away from anything that resembled that in a guy before I could bump into the right guy for me..
You may not have taken time to be honest with yourself. Your conscious mind may be wanting one thing and your subconscious mind where all your feeling and emotions come from, wants something totally different that may not be good for you.
You need to define who you are at core and who would make a good partner for you, to complement you...not complete you. You need to be a whole person on your own, not requiring the attention of a male to feel you have some self worth.
My personal opinion is that this guy does not sound like anyone I would care to even be a friend with let alone by in some kind of dating relationship with. If you want more of the same kind of life you've had and not being happy with it, then of course hang out with him.
I think you know you want a big change in life that does not include your separated husband or the other guy in it. But thats so scary. Yup...time to put your big girl panties on and forge a new path for yourself that excludes those two.
what do i do when my friend thinks im flrting with a guy that she just met and is sayin that hes her bf
You wrote that she only "said" that he is her boyfriend. Is there any evidence that he is. Is this a widely known fact among your friends? If she simply just met him and is putting her dibs on him and saying 'He's mine, back off" when he hasn't shown any greater interest between one or the other of you and he has not asked her to go out with him, then as far as I', concerned, the guy is still fair game to any female. The only time he is off limits is when he has made a clear decision for one girl only to get to know her better.
The reason for dating is to find out find we like and dont like about a particular person. Initially someone may seem great but the two lack that spark or chemistry together. So this guy could actually choose one of you and discover in the end that he really has more in common with the other girl.
So even if lets say he really is interested in her to at least ask her to be his girl, there's no guarantee that will last long term. People get so possesive over who is their partner at the time. It can break up friendships. Hopefully it will never come to that for you. If this guy or another shows an interest in you and that upsets her to the point that she no longer wants to be your friend, its her loss. If the guy is a real great match for you , its not fair to him to dump him to keep your girlfriend. You must reallize that you can not do anything to change how she feels inside. If she has a low enough self image that she doesn't feel that she is unique enough to catch the eye of a guy who will want her for herself and no other girl can tempt him away, then she'll continue to have issues. Its a process for women to get there, to be that secure with themselves to know that if one guy breaks up, he wasn't the right one, or if he dated others behind your back, he really wasnt into you, you werent the one that lit his world. It's a learning process. All I can suggest is that you discuss things openly with your girlfriend. Find out exactly what her reasons are for stating the guy is hers. Find out what she considers was "flirting". For her, it make be just talking to him in a group setting. Get some facts from her before you worry too much.
I want to study both Veterinary Medicine and Graphic Design, where could I possibly do this? Is it possible? If not, any suggestions?
There may be schools that offer both studies but I don't think you'll find a class that offers a combo of the twoIf that i as they are different.
So you need to make a list of what aspects of a veterinary job have an appeal to you.
Are you more the nurturing type, cant stand to see an animal in pain and want to help heal it. Can you picture yourself, doing surgery on, giving shots to, cleaning up their messes, putting them to sleep if need be because they are beyond surgery?
If you can't picture yourself doing that or couldnt emphatically answer >Yes, yes yes!
Then maybe it's a matter that you enjoy being around happy healthy animals and interacting with them...such as a doggy day care or kennel...where the ability to make the place comfortable and feel like home will need a creative artistic ability. Or perhaps, you'd enjoy coming up with doggy costumes...many rich old ladies love to dress their little dogs in outfits. You might find your niche designing pet toys, pet beds, outfits, etc...
Or on the art side, maybe you would like to focus on art that depicts animals. However that would be an art other than graphics which is more of designing letterheads, business cards and such.
okay. so recently i have become "popular". and now all of a sudden people have been starting to hate me. i'm finally where i want to be, but i dont want to deal with stuff that other people put me through because of this recent "change". personally, i'm a very pretty girl. i have a lot going for me. and i dont want this effecting my school work. i havent dropped any of friends in this recent "change". but i am so sick of being told i shouldnt have made it as far as i have. i should stop going to school. i'm only popular because im "hot" and have a "nice body". how do i stop this? or atleast learn to ignore it..?
People spend too much of their lives looking at what others are doing,not doing, how they look, talk, labeling others, judging them and making assumptions.
The fact of life is that there is nothing anyone can say or do that will make us choose to change, either for the better or the worse if WE do not choose to. Change is hard for people to do. Tell me, do you enjoy when the parents tell you what they want you to do? No one likes being told what to do, even if its the right thing.
So if that is true, then why do people spend so much time focused on other people instead of focusing on changing and improving themselves for the better?
Again, its due to fear. We really are afraid that we won't like something about ourselves so we try to avoid finding out but not focusing internally on ourselves but looking outside at others for a distraction.
Every human alive has done this at some point in their life.
To clarify, the fear of not liking ourselves that I am talking about isn't due to what we see on the outside, like not liking our body shape, color of hair, shape of nose, etc.... Those with a low self image are going to focus on the outside and think thats all that defines them.
What really makes you unique as a person as I believe you already know is who you are on the inside and you're tired of people who don't want to look past the outside of you to discover who you are on the inside, your unique personality, your core values, beliefs, your hopes and dreams and fears, etc...
Kids in school may have bodies that matured but our brains aren't done maturing until our mid 20's so you may not be able to expect more from your peers for a while.
It's not hopeless. There will always be a minority of young folk who are mentally growing at a faster rate and able to make better decisions. They are hard to find, for they blend into the background, they aren't part of the vocal crowd, the judging crowd or the so-called popular crowd. Thats me. I had only a handful of true friends and to the popular people, i was of no interest. My friends were like me, we were the kids who were making good decisions, some good wisdom for our age, maturity and understood what a real friend was. I think perhaps you haven't found the right people yet. If you are considered cute or hot, the guys that are really nice and would treat you well and enjoy who you are on the inside, will never make it known they like you, never approach you because they think they haven't got a chance at all with you. The nerds, geeks and the in betweeners who don't fit any group, they're there. But you will have to really start to study people. These people never try to draw attention to themselves. Even the girls. So they will not appproach you. If you're looking for real friends who really care about you, thats where I'd start looking and you have to approach them first. They may be suspicious first if they've seen you with the popular crowd, and may have to prove your yourself, your intentions, but once you have, you will be accepted. And the more you associate with these people, the less the popular people will want to be near you.
You can't change them but they will choose on their own to forget about you.
Hey friends. I'm a 16 (almost 16) year old girl. I've identified as a chick for all my life, but lately I've been feeling confused. Some days I feel like a girl, some days I don't. Some days I actually want to be a girl, some days I don't. It's about even, really. A lot of the time, I don't even feel like I'm either.
When I was a kid I was like this too. I wanted to be a boy a lot of the time especially in kindergarten, and when we played games I would be a boy character. When I create new characters now even I tend to find it easier to develop males, and prefer using male characters over female. I've never acted really feminine or masculine, and neither have my characters. Lately a lot of my characters have been genderqueer or gay.
I honestly and truly don't know which gender I'm attracted to. I know I'm not entirely straight, though I like to think I am. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm bisexual or not really attracted to anyone. I don't think I'm attracted sexually to anything, the idea of sex or genitals don't really appeal to me. I don't even really acknowledge my own genitals, except when it's bleeding like a little bitch. Stupid pussy.
I guess I'm just a confused chick. I want to just come out and say I don't think I'm really a girl, but I'm afraid that I'll be wrong, and that people who aren't cisgendered will be offended by my dumbassery because they understand it more than I do.
I don't know what my question is. I just need advice. What do I do? How do I understand myself?
Thank you for reading. I know it's a little lengthy, but I needed to get it off my chest.
It could be that you are asexual, meaning you have low to no interest in either sex, and no desires that are normally generated with such interest.
Here's what Wikipedia has to say;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality
So as you can see, there's very little known about it. Homosexuality has had a hard road being understood but as far the general publics exposure to it, we hear more about that than about bi-sexuality and nothing at all about Asexual people. but they are out there.
So don't worry, you don't have to be attracted to either, and can go through life enjoying a single life if that's what you choose.
I am very much a female and enjoy being heterosexual, but I will say that at times something deep inside me feels like I am male at a particular moment, it's my subconscious pointing out to me that I am standing like a male, thinking like one, etc... I was confused by it until my religious path took me to believing in reincarnation. If a soul has spent some past lifes as both sexes, we are naturally going to subconsciously carry those sames actions, feelings and wants of each sex. I have read that for the most part, souls will experience both but have a preference for one over the other when it comes to choices so the majority of incarnations would be mostly as male or mostly as female.
My thoughts are that if a soul split their time equally between male/female reincarnations, then that would also toss in some confusions too, of feeling like a male in a females body.
Then again, you are still just about 17. Give your brain some time to catch up. It isn't fully done developing until we reach our mid twenties. Thats why lots of teen make some decisions without considering the consequences and do dumb stuff sometimes. Again, just my logical application here, is the brain is supposedly our strongest sex organ as scientists say, then maybe it is good to wait and not panic or wonder and see what you are feeling when you are a little older. Then at that point it will be easier for you to make the best decisions for which path in life you will take in regards to relationships and sexuality.
um recently i have been born with a special gift called autism and most likely it made it me view the world in a fun way but from time to time ive been judged and criticized for it even by my lunatic grandpa and back in the early 2000s i was never understood for it so how can you get somebody to take you seriously for it and acccept you with no criticizing
I have seen a friend with a child with severe autism, unable to socialize with others, and then there's my husband born with a lighter degree of it. As a baby he couldn't handle the input of what it felt like being held by mom. No one really knows he has it. And he copes very well but I see at home when he "fries" if there's too much input at once.
So without knowing the extent of your autism and what kind of examples you believe are the people judging you, it is hard to come up with some suggestions. Are these people aware you are autistic, or not aware that you are and just think you're 'acting up' or 'misbehaving'.
There's not much known about autism, its only recently doctors and scientists are starting to come up with more studies and understanding of it. But the general public truly has no idea how to understand a person with autism. Heck even aspergers syndrome is fairly recently coming into the public view. Anyone who doesnt relate to others in generally the same way the majority does
makes the majority of people feel uncomfortable because we are ill equipped to understand. Most people aren't brave enough to ask you. I am sure you wouldn't mind explaining if someone truly wanted to know why you view the world and move through it in a different way. There are good people out there who will learn to take you seriously and love you for who you are but humans are scared of anything different, theres fears of how to act around someone different, their mind imagines reasons for why a person acts a certain way. They don't ask for fear of offending someone like you so they continue on in ignorance, missing out on getting to know and have a wonderful person in their life.
I don't know what you have tried yet to help remedy your situation so I'll wait to hear back with more info so maybe I can come up with a few suggestions. Take care.
I have messed up badly, where i work i recently met a guy i have grown very fond of, we spoke everyday and saw each other occasionally and i cannot stop thinking of this person.
So here is the problem, i have been in a relationship for 6yrs and two beautiful babies, however we have been drifting for a while and in my eyes we are together for the children. I was on the verge of leaving my partner but after a serious row my partner went through my phone seen these messages and slapped me calling me a slag, a slut and sent this person i care for awful messages so that he would never and i quote "want to go near me again". This person made me feel special and wanted and made me smile and i haven't felt like that for a while, used to being told i am unattractive and yes i told this person i was single as in my eyes i was, i was just scared to leave as i get threats that my partner will take my kids and i will never see them again.
We have now broken up and i have my children and my main focus is them, i just don't know what to do to make things better with this other person, i have apologised from the bottom of my heart and i know i have lost something good, i don't care if he isn't interested in me anymore as i don't deserve someone as great as him i just want to make things better so he knows how sorry i am. I have messaged him and the reply i had was "i've got alot of explaining to do"- yet when i sent a message with the explanation i had no reply, just don't know what to do. Sorry for long windedness i just need help!!
Oh my...he hasn't answered a text. Well I don't know what that means when it comes to younger people. I'm in my fifties. My generation would look at just texting to explain a big mess up like this as way too impersonal, or not really having a concept of how serious this is, not taking the explanation seriously, or seeing it as a cop out for you ...like you are afraid to explain face to face.
I can understand a couple drifting apart, thinking they had enough chemistry to make it work and in the long run it doesnt work for one or the other. I wouldn't hold against you that mistake of marrying the wrong person.
However, I am not sure you even brought up the convo with your husband. Yes its hard to bring up the convo. but its what an adult has to do... especially in a relationship...to be able to discuss all kinds of topics. >Good communication is important. So is trust. If you did not discuss anything with husband, then he had a right to be upset with you. He may still have been upset if you told him you felt you've drifted apart and wanted a divorce...without you having been with dating soomeone else.Have either of you discussed going for marriage counseling. Do you think its just a bunch of silly mistakes you both make out of ignorance that have been affecting the marriage and could possibly be reversed?
But then again, you say he's threatened to take kids away before. So it makes me think you've brought up divorce in the past??? And this is his way of getting you to shut up and drop the idea. If thats what he's like, then he sounds controlling and used to getting his way.It is not healthy to stay married to someone like that.
Yes, the second guy has the right to be upset and not trust you enough to ever get back together with you. I don't want to rub it in dear, but I'd rather err in giving TMI rather than not enough information...even if it scares away a good guy. Thats always been how I operate. I've even had a guy or two tell me it was way too much information for the first time or two meeting me. But what really is the right time to tell someone what your situation is? Cus two people can become hooked on each after after only a couple times meeting and then it becomes heart breaking if they cant handle it when you disclose certain information after the 3rd date.
So, do your explaining in person. If you're a woman who has been verbally abused all your marriage, then you can easily not have been thinking clearly. If thats the case, you may want to tell him about this. There is a bit of the low self image in there with having listened to and believed people who said you were ugly. There are few people on the planet who like like the air brushed, made up celebrities. In real life, some of them don't even look as good as I do at 55. Men all have different tastes in what they find attractive in a female. Fine hair, flat chest, freckles, no make up, short, chubby, etc. In my life, I've seen it all. You must know that you are easy prey for a man who is controlling. So whatever you decide to do, make sure the man you are with is one who treats you like a Queen and puts you first, finds no fault with you, etc...
My girlfriend and I are both teenage girls, and we're in a long distance relationship. She's bisexual. I used to label myself, but now I just say I like girls.
I have already come out to my parents, but my girlfriend has not. We want to be able to see each other in November, and she wants to have told her parents about her sexuality by then.
I care about her deeply and would do anything to help her. I have already given her a few suggestions on how to tell her parents. For example, I told her that she could write them a note or give subtle hints that she's bisexual.
However, she told me that her dad would be a drama queen about it, and her mom seems slightly grossed out by the idea. How could she tell them without freaking them out?
Thank you, I would deeply appreciate any advice on how to help her come out.
she's grown up with them and should have a pretty good evaluation of how the parents will react....meaning not being very open-minded.
If she feels its that important for them to know, then writing a letter would be best...gives them some time to go through their hissy-fit without her around to witness it or catch the worst of it.
Subtle hints may work and then again, her parents may not pick up on it at all unless it was glaringly right out there in their face.
I have a brother in law who came out 5 yrs ago and told his parents he is gay and wanted to be able to bring his partner home for Christmas. I will always remember mom's words. She's in her 80's. What matters to me most is that he is happy. I want my kid to be happy. If this makes him happy, then so be it.
That is the only thing I can think of for her to get across in a letter...something like: Mom and Dad, as my parents, I am sure that whatever I do in life, your biggest concern will be that it makes me happy. As long as it is not something harmful to me like street drugs. So I want you to know that I am attracted to both males and females. It is what makes me feel happy and whole.
However, since you are in a long distance relationship, and there isn't an opportunity to bring you home to the parents, I do not see why there is a need to say anything while she is still under legal age. Once she's considered an adult and wants to bring home a female love for holidays, then the news must be shared. I dont see a need for that beforehand.
As far as ones sexuality and reproductive rights go, Parents no longer have a say in what a young teen does. There are hippa laws that protect her privacy. She can get birth control, get abortions, all without parents knowledge. So it should be with sexual preferences, the parents don't need to know until they discover it when its right there in front of them like a family gathering.
recently i asked a question called annoyed with Taylor Swift and her nasty dating and one user named Lightof Truth kind of answered in a hateful tone so can you please delete Light of Truths answer not to mention the whole question thank you
Thats not something I can do. I don't know if its possible. So you could try the contact email for any problems and ask: dangernerd@gmail.comdangernerd@gmail.com)
Some of us have bad days. I have had a few people who weren't happy with my answers. It was past time that I could edit and change my answer. So every other advice person can read what I wrote.
I think its actually helpful if i forget to touch on a point the advice giver after me can see I didnt and point it out.
The reason I wrote you what I did was because of the answer the advicegiver gave you. Usually that person does really good. Just may have had a bad personal day. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
So I was at a party the other night and I was swimming with my friends. It was really cold so we all got in a group hug. I was in the middle of the hug and all the guys were pressed against the girls. I'm scared that I could get pregnant from that.. There was no sex involved.. I just get very paranoid about this stuff.. Is it possible that I could get pregnant?
No you can't get pregnant from that.
Instead of being paranoid and knowing next to nothing about sexuality and your bodys and circumstances under which you could get pregnant, dont you think it's time that you educate yourself about it? They used to teach some of it in health classes in high school but I heard that in most schools there is no sex ed anyhow one can or can't smore. What I remember being taught was pitifully inadequate to answer real life questions like yours.
No one starts out knowing this stuff, the fact that you're asking, shows you're a smart girl who wants to be prepared and not accidently do something you may regret later.
The only way to be on firm footing as far as your own sexuality is to self teach. So where do you go for information? There is lots of good stuff on the internet. You can still ask me question by question. I don't mind but I really value a young lady by the name of Laci Green who has a you tube channel that addresses, dating relationships and sexuality...all the nitty gritty, how to wash yourself, about the hymen, different sexual orientations, virginity vs sexual debut, what is a slut, her information is well thought out, short 3-4 min videos jammed with info so you'll want to repeat watching. Her info is actual facts that I know to be true, but its presented by a 23 yr old who is funny and entertaining and also has a following of older people like me. I refer her to many people.
Here's the link dear, enjoy the site.
http://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen/videos
And go looking for more videos,especially those with diagrams of male female parts. I have a video presented to med students on that done by a Univ. in Ore. let me know if you want to see that too.
recently since Taylor Swift entered the music scene she started dating everybody she met from Joe Jonas John Mayer Taylor Lautner Harry Styles and ect and she dumped every single of them only to have something to write about and everybody praises her for it except me and im glad i wont be dating Taylor Swift anytime so will she ever stop dating and not start again till shes fully grown
I don't know Taylor Swift either. But whether a celeb or ordinary folk, there are people who jump from relationship to relationship not spending much time in each before breaking up and its for a reason.
While I can't say this applies to everyone, it will apply to oh Im guessing a quarter to a 1/3 of the people out there.
Its something called New Relationship energy. NRE is an extra strong awareness of the other, the overwhelming excitement at getting romantic attention from someone new, all feelings at this stage are blown way out of proportion to what they would normally be when it wears off. NRE wears off in a few weeks, a few months. Some can make it last a year if they don't see each other often. Both males and females can become addicted to NRE. It is an actual addiction, it comes closest to being described as something adrenaline junkies go for, like the trill in bungee jumping, sky diving, etc. That is an addiction too.
But with NRE, no one really talks about it so people aren't aware of its existance and so, unfortunately, many nice couples who are not addicted to NRE but feel it, assume that there is that spark or chemistry between them so they date, move in together, go for long term or marry, only to find out their interest in each other seems to disappear. It didn't disappear, it was never there in the first place. They were being carried along by NRE which isn't the real thing.
Think of a skateboard going down an incline. Without putting any effort into powering it yourself, the thing seems to have a power of its own as a car has an engine. But the momentum it has is really only due to gravity and the incline.
When you run out of incline, the skateboard will stop. Thats what happens to alot of people who end up together. Some still dont recognize anytime is wrong or blame it on job or stress when it may not be that at all and they force the relationship, staying together in a love-less marriage. And those are the people most likely to be attracted to having an affair on the side when they should have just split and gone after someone else.
For all we know, Taylor could be addicted to NRE, that or she's a shallow person.
I only tried to explain it to you because you yourself will experience it one day, maybe several times, and knowing about it ahead of time may help you not getting stuck with someone not right for you.
So i've done stupid stuff on the internet like many teenagers do, but now i am worried it will affect me later in life, will the persons who check the internet find me?? If they do what can I do?? 13/m
One thing you need to realize that any people later in life who are older also will realize, is that what a person does in their teens does not necessarily reflect on who they are later in life.
We all are immature at that age, its just some of us do dumber crazier things than others.
The reason we do, is that the frontal part of the brain responsible for us to make good decisions, and judgements isn't finished developing until we hit mid 20's. But our bodies mature sooner and so we feel like we are adult but do things that aren't smart. The best thing you can do in the future until you hit that age when your brain has c aught up with your body, is to think twice before you do something...and if you still can't find anything wrong with a fun prank or such, bounce your ideas off someone past age 25, the older the better...use them as a sounding board, because perhaps they can see implications that may crop up in the future. Even the 20 some yr olds write in for advice using us as their sounding board.
If later in life, someone just might find something on the internet, and they decide to judge you by that, they aren't worth your time, whether for job or relationship, because it is unfair to judge someone based on what they did as a teen growing up. If what they did as a teen is something they are still doing in current day as an adult, it is an indicator to steer clear of them. So as long as you mature and grow as a person, a mature person will only judge your character based on who you are at the current time.
F/20
Lately my life has been weighing me down, my fathet is on his death bed, I get treated like crap at work, and I just stress continuosly about it. It has taken it's emotional toll on me. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is 22, he has a little boy whom I adore, we have been together 2 1/2 years and I couldn't find someone who treats me better. However lately I just feel so distant and numb, at work everyday I get yelled at and told I will be replaced, however there is this guy who helps me out all the time, very sweet and cute, I can tell he likes me and my mimd starts to wander. I try and shut it off. I want to resist, I only love my boyfriend and his little boy. I pretty much have a family and it scares me. The only reason I even manage to get up for work is knowing I get to hang out with this guy at work. I just want to know what I can do to block this out. I love the one I am with but given my current emotional state I can't keep myself under control. Any advice? I want this feeling to go away.
I don't know what your bosses and supervisors are like and how understanding they might be but if you haven't told them what is going on in your life personally, it is worth a try. When the level of abuse from ex escalated, I could no longer function at work trouble free, I made all sorts of stupid mistakes and knew how critical that was to the company, so I went in to his office, and told the boss, actually started crying. He really depended on me. All I was asking for was for him to take a quick glance at any emails letters I had constructed to send out and have the okay for co workers to look out for me and cover for me. Once the situation is resolved, I promised things would be back to normal which is the case for anyone going through something difficult. I also lost my mom and dad separate times while working a job, it affected the job too but not as much as the personal attack.
On to your issue, you are right that you have something perfect at home and its good you realize this. When a person is emotionally under great stress is when they begin to lean on others heavily. A good chunk of your day is spent at work....so in reality, other than weekends, during weekdays you see about as much of your co worker as you so your boyfriend.
I think its quite natural to find something somewhere in your life to give you that bright spot to look forward to. Lets say you didn't work and the boyfriend was able to totally support you both....if there was no job in your current situation with losing dad, would you feel as good being with your boyfriend as you do when at work with this other guy? I am sure you do. Because work is about half your awake day, subconsciously you find yourself needing the same support there.
Its okay to have a need for someone to lean on and your mind will feel heightened emotions because of what you are going through. So the best i can offer is to be very open and frank with the young man at work. I dont know if he is aware of your situation to some degree and if he is, its unlikely he's faced something similar himself so its up to you to explain whats going on for you.
So you tell him you are grateful for his help and that you are emotionally raw right now because of dad imminent death. Tell him you value his help and friendship but no matter what he thinks, he needs to know you have a guy and have your happy family. If you think you can be vulnerable enough to share, explain that when someone feelings are in a heightened state due to something stressful, not just one feeling is heightened but will heighten all the others too. So you want to apologize ahead to him if at any time it looks to him like you interact with him at a level that makes it look like you have a personal interest in him. Once you have got that statement out there, and he is okay with it, then you should be able to face work without also having to feel guilty. Make sure to mention the boyfriend often. Let the boyfriend know there is someone at work who is looking out for you and its so nice of them but he happen's to be a guy. When this is all over, you'd like to be able to invite him over to treat him to a dinner with you two as a way of thanking him for his help. If the work friend knew you were offering to thank him with a dinner by dining with you and your guy, thats another confirmation that you are for sure off limits and so he should be able to keep things on a friendly basis without secretly hoping for more.
That feeling you are experiencing may not go away with these confessions but they eventually will. It just helps the other guy out to not get false hopes and your subconscious mind once it understands why it feels this way, wont feel guilt as well.
Recently my mother and little sister has moved in with me and my boyfriend due to finicial struggle. My boyfriend and I talked about and both agreed that it would be okay for my mother and my sister to move in, until they get back on their feet. They have only been here 3 days and its not going great. My boyfriend is constantly complainning about how they are too loud. I tell them to be quiet and they listen but if they talk above a whisper he starts banging the walls and grunting at them. I just don't know what to do. I will not have my sister and mother on the streets but I feel like my boyfriends anger is rising too much lately.
Normal regular movements about the place and normal conversation should not be so annoying to him.
You alone must make the same amount of noise yourself. Does he get upset with you for making noise? He doesn't sound like the social type. He'd probably be better off living on his own, the hermit type. Why he has you living with him is it's really his personality and wanting to be a loner, I have no idea. But it could be something other than wanting to be a loner. Perhaps he was an only child, no siblings, and all the extra bodies in the same amount of space is something he isn't used to.
Or him being so extra sensitive is a glimmer into his head of underlying mental issues he has that may over time develop into a mental illness.
Except for the last example, mental illness, all the rest point to him being totally immature and unflexible, unable to change with what life throws at him. The economy may never get better and all families everywhere will need to start living together just to survive. Getting back on their feet when executives of companies now work at Starbucks or Walmart, means theres less jobs to go around. No matter how hard she tries, mom may not find a job quickly. If you did not have a job right now and had to stay with lets say a grandma and she asked you how long exactly you needed to stay, unless you are a psychic able to see the future, you would not be able to give a real true answer. The boyfriend may have agreed but his brain doesnt consider all issues, his mind doesnt look at it from all angles and think ahead to all possible outcomes to agreeing to take in mom and sis. So for one thing, he has a lot of growing up to do as far as becoming mature in his thinking and he is very rigid when flexibility is needed for the unpredictable stuff life throws our way. My ex had mental illness. I had to handle all unexpected stuff cus he couldn't handle it if anything went a way other than the picture he had in his mind of how things should pan out. Thats either immaturity or mental illness of some sort. A person like that will grow worse and freak out over other things in his life that dont go as planned, and to relieve himself of his frustrations, he will dump on those closest to him by yelling and abusing them verbally in attempt to try to feel better himself.
These things with boyfriend may not ever happen but its a possibility its about to start real soon, especially since you say he gets angry often. Maybe he just needs anger management counseling. But the chances of getting him to see that HE has an issue and its not anyone else causing it is going to be hard.
Heres a tidbit for you to remember throughout life: No one can make anyone else feel a certain way or do a certain thing. No one can change another person. All for the same reason....each individual has a choice of how to respond to any external stimuli in their world, in frustration, sadness, anxiety, anger or with peace and joy. It's an internal choice. Example: Just because some kid in school said, you're stupid and their friends joined in agreeing, is a person going to believe them because more than one said it, or will the person look at the reality of it before automatically deciding to believe them and going on thru life really believing they are stupid. The battle is in the mind, always is, always has been. We can allow the external onslaught to help shape us into growing into more mature, stronger individuals, or we can fail when the pressure is applied.
In your case, boyfriend is failing when the pressure is applied...it's not your family but him who is the problem. If he can't learn to cope with this, you will see him have issues with many other things in life. He may not be the best bet for a long term partner. Keep a close eye on him and how he acts. He should be putting you first, be patient and flexible no matter what life throws your way, and choosing to be loving, caring and supportive. A man who can not be supportive in tough times like this is not likely to change in his life time for the better, perhaps for the worse.
It may come down to mom and sis having to find 'strangers' or aquaintances to go stay with because I can predict that no matter how short or long their stay, it will be a daily battle with him. Ask yourself how long before he starts to treat you the same and I dont care if he says I love you. I have life experience with someone like him. I know what I am talking about. Their inner mental struggles are stronger than the conviction of their words, I love you.
Firstly I'm male age 20, my gf is 17. We have been together for 2 years now, back in high school when I was 18 and she was 15. We live in California, and have never had sex.
She has wanted to make love for a while now, but I have always been worried about getting in trouble. I was reading the laws on statutory rape and they say that if Im more than 3 years older than her I could go to jail if someone found out. And it doesnt help that her adoptive parents (who are emotionally and physically abusive towards her) dont like me.
I am technically a little more than 3 years older than her, but currently since Im 20 it seems like just 3 years and no one cares.
So I guess I want to know if the police would really take this seriously if her parents reported it, and if I would really go to jail (Im a nice guy and I care about her. Ive known her my whole life and would never want to hurt or manipulate her, but I know other people would think I was just because of the age thing.)
So what do you guys think? Is this really a big deal? Will I really be treated like a pedophile or something? And please dont tell me to just go out with girls my age. I want to get her away from her abusive parents when she turns 18. We both want to marry each other and have kids when we are older. It just sucks that we happened to be born a little too far apart...
Wikipedia has a map of north america with different colors to signify especially the states to show what legal age of consent is to engage in sex since some states are 16, some 17, and some 18. All of canada is 16.
Hopefully you live in a state where it is 16 or 17.
Since the parents aren't the most healthy mentally, its so unpredictable if they were to decide to make trouble. Just for that one factor...i would be inclined to not do anything because they could lie and say you raped her and even though she tells courts you didn't, its Russian roulette again with whatever judge you get. One may tend to believe the parents and another may believe you two. Since you stated...when she turns 18 to get her away from abusive parents either you're talking of legal in your state or when she graduates high school. Is she out of school or just starting senior yr.
If there's anywhere you can get free legal advice, it might be a good idea to check on her behalf since adoptive parents are abusive if she's underage yet, CPS will want to know about that.
I am getting married next month, One of my biggest concerns to the wedding are guest possibly showing up empty handed. My fiance has invited a lot of work friends which is fine but many of them are in their early 20's.
I have a friend of mine also whom complains often about how she is broke. My friend was firmerly in the bridal party as a bridesmaid but told me she couldn't afford a dress. I was fine with this, I told her she can come as a guest. Niw lately she has been talking about getting a tattoo and how ahe will be left with little to money after. Which raises my concerns to whether she plans on bringing anything. I don't want to sound greedy but my fiance and I are relying on the gift money for our honeymoon...
How do I deal with this?
-Stressed Bride and Groom
Sounds like you are not expecting physical gifts, like towels, dishes but only cash. Is that what you stated in your invitation, that any gifts should be cash only?
Or do you plan to take brand new wedding gifts back to the store in return for cash?
It is sad that in this economy, very few are going to have much spare to give as nice a gift as might have happened 20 years ago. And honeymoons to some exotic place may sound nice but they are not a Necessity. Not even a wedding ceremony is a necessity. In times 400 yrs ago and older, a couple who wanted to become wed or handfast, wore their best dress, wearing white was a fashion that hadn't even come in style yet. And some tied their two hands together to symbolize their joining as friends stood round to hear them give their vows to each other...and that was it...nothing else.That is where we get the phrase today of "I'm gonna tie the knot" to mean you're getting married.
Or the couple wanting to start a life together would join hands and jump over a broomstick signifying that they were starting up household together.
Maids of honor, grooms men also are not necessary. They come from an old fashioned belief that evil spirits would try to spoil the wedding for the happy couple, so other couples were dressed as fancy as the marrying couple and hung out in close proximity to them to confuse the evil spirits so they would not know which couple was the one getting married...and that has evolved to become the reason why todays weddings.
Wedding rings also are not a necessity. The giving of rings was one of many different small gifts that a couple gave each other for their wedding "as a token of their love" and it depended alot on if they could even afford to buy any jewelry. Poor farmers might carve a wooden spoon for her and she knit him a pair of socks if thats all they could manage. The couple did not have anything like a honeymoon is those days.
The only real necessity is to have each other and be deeply in love and want to spend the rest of your lives together.
A wedding could be small, just the couple saying their vows to each other with no officiant in the way past or having a priest or community leader do officiating and the witnessing of another couple. All the other guests are....just a privilege. Their presence at your giving of vows IS the gift. Today it has evolved to the guests bringing a gift. Thats not how it was meant to be.
Bridal registry...yeah I did that. Never received complete set of anything. I ended up getting most of what I needed at 2nd hand stores or Walmart. Today, there's Craigs list from which a daughter has furnished her entire place for free.
If I were you, hard as it may be to break the image in your mind of what you've believed all your life that a wedding and honeymoon should be, I'd mentally prepare to scale down.
No one can give enough cash even if they could give a cash gift, to add up to enough to go to Hawaii for example or some other fancy vacation spot. There are many beautiful spots likely near where you live.
I will grant you this, the wedding night and for a couple days after, it would be nice if a couple had some luxury and pampering and that is not going to be accomplished staying at home.
So if you are willing to go away to a really nice Bed and Breakfast somewhere in your state or area, where you know there are places near by you'd like to do sight seeing, it can be very very special. I have been to literally dozens of bed and breakfasts in my life. I love them. You can find them by the beach, in the mountains, rustics, or old victorian style, even some smaller scale castle homes I have seen turned into b&b's complete with antiques and period decor. Some rooms come with private jacuzzi tubs, or hottubs off a private deck or hot tub in the garden shared by all guests. Some have the fancier bridal suites, some offer a basket of goodies, fruits, champaigne, soaps, lotion, massage oil for an extra fee. If you were to stay lets say four nights, you only have to come up with the deposit right now of the first night to reserve a place. To get the right room available when you want, you have to make reservations. The cost of the remaining nights lets say are 200. a night but the ones that fall on weekdays may be cheaper. $600 at the most and breakfast comes with the deal. (I stayed at one place that advertised a 4 course breakfast. By time finished with that, we still werent hungry by dinnertime)
I had one room, 4 poster bed, goose down covers, our own private jacuzzi, double marble showers and sauna. I felt like royalty. Depending on what you consider to feel pampered, is what you look for. $600. is pretty easy to cover. 30 guests each giving a gift of $20. if thats all they can give. I would think that anyone can afford $20 in these times. It might be awkward but you could contact each guest and say that in your invite you forgot to mention that if they can afford a gift, there's the choice to bring a purchased gift or there will be a box in which to place cards with donations of $20 cash as their gift, to go towards your honeymoon cash. Some guys are gonna love this option as they don't have to shop and decide what you might like. Depending on whats on your gift registry, purchasing a gift may be more expensive than just giving $20. cash.
It's not the best manners but it could work.
I am 16 years old and there are four residents in this house ; myself , my cousin , my sister and my grandmother , who is our guardian .
She has a job and works almost every day . Me my sis and my cousin are very mutch under weight . our bones are very visible . we get no allowance at all . the only thing we do receive , if we are lucky , is pocket change . our fridge is almost empty completely . i Dont understand . if she has a job and get paid , why are we starving . i got so used to being starving all the time . my cousin used to 'steal' food or money from my grandmother . i would do the same . i mean , hes only human and hes hungry .
we all go to sleep with empty bellies . my digestive system even slowed down . idk what to do .
i dont want to call the cops or anything but i will if i have to .
not only is lack of food a problem , but we barley have clothes -_- .
im tired of going through this . my hair falls out a little , too .
then she has the audacity to eat in her room by herself . are u kidding me . this is why i have an attitude . if she did her job than i wouldn't be this way . i cant even think straight .
everytime i get up , i fall right back down . i feel weak and brittle like a twig . i cant fit ANY of the clothes that i DO have , wich isnt even much by the way .
every month a check of $125 comes for me , and i dont get anything from her . i only have one pair of shoes and there is not even something as simple as milk or eggs in the fridge .
where does all this money go ? what is she hiding ?
Money may be tight but any guardian or parent is legally supposed to sufficiently feed cloth and shelter any minor children entrusted to their care. You have the law on your side. Call CPS and let them know whats going on.
If due to whatever circumstance,s grandma was burdened with not just you both but a cousin too, it makes me wonder what happened to both sets of parents. Something must be horribly wrong for both familys to not be able to care for their own kids.
So grandma likely wanted a single life of her own and not consciously but subconsciously resents the position she is in which is what causes her to treat you kids this way. No matter why she does it, its not right. There is a chance grandma may be hiding something, maybe she is into gambling or some other addiction so she is not making good decisions anymore concerning the children.
The schools provide breakfast and lunches for children in families with low income. At least I think they still do. So besides CPS, I'd talk to a school nurse and school counselors asking for help. Perhaps grandma needs some counseling to be able to get better so she can care for you all, especially if the reason is that both sets of parents died, then she's not getting over the loss of her own kids, which could have snowballed to the current situation with her not caring anymore about anyone else. So start talking to people who can help. Do you have any other living relatives who may not be aware of your situation and willing to take you all in? This info would need to be passed on to CPS to check for you,
If worst case scenerio they take you kids away from grandma. The other option would be foster care for which you may all be split up, so other family friends or relatives who would be willing would be the ones to receive the money to take care of you kids. The money isn't much and will barely cover all your needs so not just anyone will be willing to take you in as they will still need to pitch in from their own funds. But I am sure you'd want to stay all together. I dont know what else to suggest since I don't have all the details. Good luck to you. Don't wait. Ask for help now. In weakened state, an ordinary flu or virus this winter season could kill one of you.
I started my period last night while I was asleep and i got blood stains on my mattress and I used a wet soapy wash cloth to scrub most of the blood stains off my mattress like my mom told me to do but there is still a little bit of blood on my mattress what else can I try to use to get the blood stains off ?
I think what was being suggested previously is hydrogen peroxide. It has worked for me. Hydrogen peroxide can be found at the pharmacy or supermarket, it is real cheap and works for many other household cleaning jobs.
Just saturate the area, let it sit a bit and then use paper towels to blot up what you can. Don't rub, it doesnt help and the papertowel will disentigrate. You may need to do it several times.
Next time, or even on clothing, forget the soap and use this immediately.
I was doing arts and crafts with some arts and craft paint yesterday it's not water proof paint my cousin told me there is no way to get it off and I just bought this shirt last week help.
Since you can already consider it ruined, using a paint solvent that might remove the paint but harm the fabric, is still worth a try in case it works...what have you got to lose? Nothing, its already unwearable.
So depending on what kind of paint, there may be a few choices. When I am in a bind like this, I go to a hardware store, or craft store, somewhere that sells paint and ask there if they have something that removes that kind of paint.You might take the shirt along.
Good luck!