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I Want to Help My Girlfriend Come Out to Her Family.
My girlfriend and I are both teenage girls, and we're in a long distance relationship. She's bisexual. I used to label myself, but now I just say I like girls.
I have already come out to my parents, but my girlfriend has not. We want to be able to see each other in November, and she wants to have told her parents about her sexuality by then.
I care about her deeply and would do anything to help her. I have already given her a few suggestions on how to tell her parents. For example, I told her that she could write them a note or give subtle hints that she's bisexual.
However, she told me that her dad would be a drama queen about it, and her mom seems slightly grossed out by the idea. How could she tell them without freaking them out?
Thank you, I would deeply appreciate any advice on how to help her come out.
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she's grown up with them and should have a pretty good evaluation of how the parents will react....meaning not being very open-minded.
If she feels its that important for them to know, then writing a letter would be best...gives them some time to go through their hissy-fit without her around to witness it or catch the worst of it.
Subtle hints may work and then again, her parents may not pick up on it at all unless it was glaringly right out there in their face.
I have a brother in law who came out 5 yrs ago and told his parents he is gay and wanted to be able to bring his partner home for Christmas. I will always remember mom's words. She's in her 80's. What matters to me most is that he is happy. I want my kid to be happy. If this makes him happy, then so be it.
That is the only thing I can think of for her to get across in a letter...something like: Mom and Dad, as my parents, I am sure that whatever I do in life, your biggest concern will be that it makes me happy. As long as it is not something harmful to me like street drugs. So I want you to know that I am attracted to both males and females. It is what makes me feel happy and whole.
However, since you are in a long distance relationship, and there isn't an opportunity to bring you home to the parents, I do not see why there is a need to say anything while she is still under legal age. Once she's considered an adult and wants to bring home a female love for holidays, then the news must be shared. I dont see a need for that beforehand.
As far as ones sexuality and reproductive rights go, Parents no longer have a say in what a young teen does. There are hippa laws that protect her privacy. She can get birth control, get abortions, all without parents knowledge. So it should be with sexual preferences, the parents don't need to know until they discover it when its right there in front of them like a family gathering.
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