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Need hard truth
I have been dating this guy for 3 years we have a son and we live in separate states. He's someone from high school that always liked me, I wasn't interested then but we saw each other 20 yrs later and here we are. We were both married and separated at the time we met although for financial reasons my husband was still in the same house in separate rooms. My question is that everytime this man gets mad he shuts down and stops talking to me completely his mood swings are so bad most times I don't know what sets him off the last time it was because he felt I wasn't helping him with his homework. He closed the computer and walked away and shut down
My other issue is he has a female friend I never met and the relationship is so secretive, he goes to all her events without me and she cried when he told her about our son, he is her sons god father and she just broke up with her man he's been her shoulder he bought her a spa gift for Mother's Day and he lies about going out with her sometimes when I say how uncomfortable I am about her he shuts done lastly he flirts with the same women daily same deal
He wants me to move there I have a job offer, but I'm reluctant to move there because of uncertainties. He has planned a trip for us in October I m not sure if I want to go there or move to his state
Any advice?
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I don't think he's taking the relationship seriously. Like he may want you to move in and he may not even have something going on with the other woman but he doesn't value your feelings about situations. He gets worked up and he won't work through the issues then shuts down.
In my opinion, you need someone who is stable. I don't think he is what you need.
The only thing that I think is weird is that she cried when she found out about your son.
Anyways, he lies about going out with her, shuts down over problems, and flirts with other women, he's just not the guy women dream about being with. He may have good qualities, which may be the reason why you stay with him but he also has these red flag qualities that are obviously making you skeptical about the relationship.
It's up to you, but I wouldn't stay.
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Alright,so he's always been interested in you for some reason. You weren't until you were separated from husband. Could it be that although you have a son together, your only reason to getting into a relationship with him was one of those 'rebound' reasons? After a marriage that didn't work, is there a slight chance you are wanting to feel like another guy can find you interesting and be attracted to you? I left a loveless 1st marriage, the husband was verbally abusive so I know what goes through our minds. Will another guy ever like me? I had to know what type of guy I did not like and to back away from anything that resembled that in a guy before I could bump into the right guy for me..
You may not have taken time to be honest with yourself. Your conscious mind may be wanting one thing and your subconscious mind where all your feeling and emotions come from, wants something totally different that may not be good for you.
You need to define who you are at core and who would make a good partner for you, to complement you...not complete you. You need to be a whole person on your own, not requiring the attention of a male to feel you have some self worth.
My personal opinion is that this guy does not sound like anyone I would care to even be a friend with let alone by in some kind of dating relationship with. If you want more of the same kind of life you've had and not being happy with it, then of course hang out with him.
I think you know you want a big change in life that does not include your separated husband or the other guy in it. But thats so scary. Yup...time to put your big girl panties on and forge a new path for yourself that excludes those two.
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