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I'm going to sound like a 14 year old.
I'm 19, female. I'm a sophomore in college. I just wanted to talk a little about this boy I like which is where my little girl will come out. I liked him since last year when we lived in the same dorm. It is now a year later, I work in one hall and he works in the other but I go over to his hall a lot because most of the people that worked in my dorm last year, got hired on his staff so I go over there to visit my friends quite frequently. About a week ago, I was eating dinner with my roommate, and my former community assistant who is a guy as well. He was joking with me that I'm such a chicken and will never tell the boy that I like him and he said if I don't, he'll text him and tell him. I challenged him because I didn't think he would really do it but he texted him "hey, ______ from last year thinks you're cute." he texted back "aw, that's sweet of her." Yes, he didn't get it at all. He's a little dense, he needs things laid out on the table in great detail in order for him to understand. Anyway, like I said, that was last week. This week, we've seen each other quite a few times but never really up close so we didn't really talk. Last night, I was over at his dorm having a movie night with some friends. The movie was over and my roommate and I were leaving and he was standing at the front door, I didn't look at him because I'm a little upset with him that he is "seeing" this girl but he said hello to my roommate. Back to the girl, apparently she told him that she likes him and he said he wants to remain friends because he really isn't as interested as he should be if agreeing to a relationship. That's what my former CA told me today because he asked him about her and apparently that's what he said, that they are just friends.
So, my former CA and my roommate are both on my case to tell him how I feel because they think he might not want to be with the other girl because he wants to be with me. I highly doubt that is true because we barely talked last year, I conversed with him a little this year, we talk sometimes on facebook and we joke a lot, he called me a sweetheart one night because I'm always so nice to him. My former CA and roommate just want us to be together so badly, as do I, but I don't think I should tell him because I don't think he feels the same or else he wouldn't have ignored me last night or the other day in the cafe.
What do you think about him and what do you think I should do?
Thanks.
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Your not the one sounding like a 14 yr old, but its all your friends who are. Really, thats my impression by what you shared.
So you need a good way to know when a guy is interested in you. Since you're over there enough when he's around, look for body language, it's usually a give away that someone is interested.
Watch yourself too. If someone steps up close to you to talk, there's a certain distance that does not feel comfortable, the person is standing too close so you will take a step away. Its totally different when that person is someone of the opposite sex that you find attractive, if a guy comes No,to stand near you like within arms reach and you don't move away, thats a signal to him that you like him. If you go to stand close to him and he doesnt step away, its a good chance he is interested. But dont count on one thing. The person will also be always trying to make eye contact, talking to you, choosing to sit next to you, in conversation, we tend to lean toward those we have an interest in, and last of all, we tend to mirror, or copy whatever the other is doing, if one crosses their legs the other will cross theirs. If you move a hand to smooth back a strand of hair, he will subconsciously do the same. If you touch your face, he will touch his somehow, maybe not exactly same spot but something similar. Our subconscious does this when we are real comfortable and interested in the other person enough to want to get to know them better. The only way to do that is hang out together, quality time for just the two of you.
If the interest is both ways, usually the two eventually pick up on it. If its only one way, and he isn't interested in you the same way, then he will be nice and friendly but not make any body language moves. Remember its a subconscious action so he will do it even if he isn't consciously aware of it. Telling a person that you like them can mean as a freind or that you are attracted enough to want to spend more time with them. The only way to get the answer you want would be to ask, if he'd like to spend more time together to get to know each other better because of the mutual attraction you have. But you don't point blank ask that, not unless there is unmistakenable body language to back it up.
Cus if his body says one thing and he says another, then you can point out to his body language and tell him its not something a guy doesn if he doesnt have some personal interest. So then privately, without others listening so he's not embarassed, you could ask if he is just nervous, shy or a bit scared of getting into a more serious than friends relationship with a girl cus if so, you promise to go at a pace that hie is comfortable with at first and once he's comfortable, all should proceed normally. But I would warn your friends to not meddle, grow up and read something about romantic body language so they can be better informed themselves. Here's an article to get them and you started.
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