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Will I go to jail for having sex with my gf?
Firstly I'm male age 20, my gf is 17. We have been together for 2 years now, back in high school when I was 18 and she was 15. We live in California, and have never had sex.
She has wanted to make love for a while now, but I have always been worried about getting in trouble. I was reading the laws on statutory rape and they say that if Im more than 3 years older than her I could go to jail if someone found out. And it doesnt help that her adoptive parents (who are emotionally and physically abusive towards her) dont like me.
I am technically a little more than 3 years older than her, but currently since Im 20 it seems like just 3 years and no one cares.
So I guess I want to know if the police would really take this seriously if her parents reported it, and if I would really go to jail (Im a nice guy and I care about her. Ive known her my whole life and would never want to hurt or manipulate her, but I know other people would think I was just because of the age thing.)
So what do you guys think? Is this really a big deal? Will I really be treated like a pedophile or something? And please dont tell me to just go out with girls my age. I want to get her away from her abusive parents when she turns 18. We both want to marry each other and have kids when we are older. It just sucks that we happened to be born a little too far apart...
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Rahzie is right.
Basically, you're not allowed to take off her panties or touch what's under it. That's the law in California.
Keep your shit to yourself. No one can do anything about what you do in your private life if no one is privy to what you do in your private life.
If you're really that concerned about it, go read the california penal code. They lay it out pretty clearly, if couched in alot of legal language.
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Statutory Rape has nothing to do with sex. Just dating someone 3 years younger than you could cause you to be charged with statutory rape. What this has to do with is all about age of consent which is 18 in the state of California.
Now the police generally will not charge someone with statutory rape unless a complaint is filed or the person under the age of consent is very much younger than the older person. Example would be if you were stopped for a traffic reason an the officer asked her how old she was. If she were to be say 15 the Officer may feel obligated to detain or arrest you under the Statutory Rape statute. If she were to say I will be 18 next month or in two or three months the office would probably not be concerned. Though the officer would probably ask for proof of age.
Another crime you need to be aware of, here again someone needs to make a complaint, is the Federal Crime of violating the Mann Act. Not knowing where you live in California but having lived there for 3 years I spent many a weekend driving into Nevada. IF you and your girlfriend do cross state lines together then you are violating the Mann Act.
Once again the Mann Act assumes that sex is the reason you are crossing state lines it does not have to happen. The law is allowed under these laws to assume that sex has taken place or is the purpose of your travel.
My advice is this: While it is still dangerous for the two of you to be dating; her parent have not reported you. You have waited 2 years, I'm assuming, to have sex. Wait a few more months until she is of legal age then the two of you are free to do as you please. She can leave home, you two can marry or live together and travel across as many state lines as you please.
There is nothing her parents can say or do once she is 18. Hopefully she will have graduated high school by that time as being in high school does throw a monkey wrench into the mix as far as leaving home is concerned. If she were to leave home she would have to leave school and get a GED to complete High School.
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The advice you've recieved, this it's not illegal for you to have sex with your 17 year old girlfriend, is wrong. In most states, that would be right, but in California having a sexual relationship with someone under 18 is not legal. Not ever. Even if both people were 17! It may sound absurd, but that is the way the law is written in California.
Adviceman is also incorrect that dating her in California is criminal. Although there are some states where 'statutory rape' covers more than just intercourse and can apply to regular dating activities like kissing and groping, in California law, it does not. In California, the age of consent for "lewd and lascivious acts" (kissing, groping, petting) is 14. There is nothing in California law that can charge you for dating your girlfriend. The law only comes into effect if you have oral, vaginal or anal sex with her. The Mann act only applies if you both leave the state, on the assumption that you are doing so to have sex with her.
The '3-year rule' wouldn't make it okay even if you were a few weeks younger. All the 3 year rule does in California is say that if the older person is less than 3 years older than the younger person, the crime a misdemeanour - not a felony. It's still a crime. And I believe it still lands the older person on the sex offender registry.
So yes, having sex with your 17 year old girlfriend is against the law. She is old enough to consent to date you, to hug you and kiss you, but she is under the age of consent in California for sexual intercourse.
Be safe. Don't do it. It's probably not a 'big deal'. You'd probably be fine, but what happens if you aren't fine is life-altering, and could destroy your plans for the future - with her and with anyone else! You would be labeled sex-offender, and would carry that brand with you every time you moved, or applied for a job.
Yes, it sucks, and no, I don't think the law is reasonable or fair, but it's the law where you live! Please don't do it. You need to wait until she turns 18.
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Wikipedia has a map of north america with different colors to signify especially the states to show what legal age of consent is to engage in sex since some states are 16, some 17, and some 18. All of canada is 16.
Hopefully you live in a state where it is 16 or 17.
Since the parents aren't the most healthy mentally, its so unpredictable if they were to decide to make trouble. Just for that one factor...i would be inclined to not do anything because they could lie and say you raped her and even though she tells courts you didn't, its Russian roulette again with whatever judge you get. One may tend to believe the parents and another may believe you two. Since you stated...when she turns 18 to get her away from abusive parents either you're talking of legal in your state or when she graduates high school. Is she out of school or just starting senior yr.
If there's anywhere you can get free legal advice, it might be a good idea to check on her behalf since adoptive parents are abusive if she's underage yet, CPS will want to know about that.
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In most states the age to consent is 16, Likely you will not get in trouble. Relax
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