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This girl has got to go.
Sorry for the length. So I'm 21/f and since I met my boyfriend three years ago we've formed our own little group with the two of us and three other guys around the same age. There was no conflict, good times and my boyfriend and I would always talk about how we had a great group of friends. About a year ago one of the guys had entered a relationship with a girl that was already dating someone else (she cheated on her, now, ex with our friend). At first the rest of the group was very skeptical but our friend seemed happy so we welcomed her into the group. As time went on we noticed that she was extremely insecure, she lies constantly about things that just don't matter, she is a constant flirt with the rest of the guys, and whenever her and our friend would argue, as most couples do, she would blast him on Facebook spreading their business to her friends and family. Not only that but apparently I'm a threat to the girl, as I'm not allowed to laugh at anything her boyfriend says, be alone with him, or even like the same things. At first i thought maybe it was the fact that i miss being the only girl but the guys including my boyfriend say that she's crazy but they don't want to hurt the guy's feelings by saying they don't like his girlfriend. What should we do? Thanks for any advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You do nothing
If she is insecure abd flirts her way through the crowd then let HIM be the one to handle the problem. You are not in the relationship, He is.
Getting involved in someone else's relationship that doesn't involve you is wrong. If she considers you to be a threat, All well. As long as you be yourself and don't get involved in the drama then it's her problem, not yours.
You don't have to like her, Nobody said to be her best friend. Just try to be respectful by letting the guy date who he wants to date. Trust me, I have got involved with friends relationships before and there ia nothing beneficial about it.
Just mind your business
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I agree with Razhie's advice especially when allowing another guy to approach the situation. However if you all get together collectively and discuss the problem and how to calmly rectify the situation ahead of time rather than just blowing up one day I'm sure that will work out better.It reminds me of two episodes of Friends. The first when Ross wanted to marry a girl who wanted Rachel out of the picture. Eventually the girl was gone and the group friendship remained. The second episode was when no one liked Phoebe's overly excited boyfriend. She was made at first when the group told her they didn't like her but eventually he was gone and the group friendship remained. I think you might just wait this one out. Keep your distance and your friend should eventually admit that the girl is nothing but drama. I can totally feel you on this. Your friend probably wants so much to be in a relationship he's willing to put up with the lies and annoyance. It will get old soon enough. If you want to use your friendship to your advantage invite an even hotter friendly girl on your group outings. Maybe this weird girl will be bothered and jealous enough to move on. But I am concerned when you say she lies all the time for no reason. These people tend to have other issues so be weary of that. You would hate to find out the hard way that she is even crazier than you all thought.
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This isn't about what you all should do. This is about what you should do. What the others guys want to do, that's their business.
I think you should keep being this guys friend, like whatever you feel like liking. I understand the being alone with him but the rest of the stuff she's coming up with is ridiculous.
One time I had a guy friend who was dating this girl we didn't really care for. It would've been wrong to just stop inviting him places.
I think your options would be to either talk to him and explain to him that you want to hang out with the two of them but she's getting a little out of hand and if he could talk to her, that'd be great or you can just try to deal with it.
You don't have to be mean about it or anything, just state your facts, don't make more drama, and see what happens. You don't really have much to lose in this situation.
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'We' should do nothing.
As a group, you are teetering on the edge of a hate-fest, which will accomplish nothing but drama. You may be absolutely correct in your every opinion of this girl, but you still need to take it down a couple of notches.
You are each individually, his friends. There is no reason to gang up on him. You should approach this as individuals.
You also have to recognize that any conversation with this guy, would be far more effective coming from an individual with a penis. The worst thing you can do is validate her illusion that you are the problem, by being the first person to take any action 'against' her. Go on being his friend. Like what you like and laugh when you want too, further than that, encourage your other male friends to grow a pair and talk to their buddy. If it falls to you to tell it like it is, they run a higher risk of crazy drama, and of loosing him all together.
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