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Gender confusion
Hey friends. I'm a 16 (almost 16) year old girl. I've identified as a chick for all my life, but lately I've been feeling confused. Some days I feel like a girl, some days I don't. Some days I actually want to be a girl, some days I don't. It's about even, really. A lot of the time, I don't even feel like I'm either.
When I was a kid I was like this too. I wanted to be a boy a lot of the time especially in kindergarten, and when we played games I would be a boy character. When I create new characters now even I tend to find it easier to develop males, and prefer using male characters over female. I've never acted really feminine or masculine, and neither have my characters. Lately a lot of my characters have been genderqueer or gay.
I honestly and truly don't know which gender I'm attracted to. I know I'm not entirely straight, though I like to think I am. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm bisexual or not really attracted to anyone. I don't think I'm attracted sexually to anything, the idea of sex or genitals don't really appeal to me. I don't even really acknowledge my own genitals, except when it's bleeding like a little bitch. Stupid pussy.
I guess I'm just a confused chick. I want to just come out and say I don't think I'm really a girl, but I'm afraid that I'll be wrong, and that people who aren't cisgendered will be offended by my dumbassery because they understand it more than I do.
I don't know what my question is. I just need advice. What do I do? How do I understand myself?
Thank you for reading. I know it's a little lengthy, but I needed to get it off my chest.
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Hi! Based on what you wrote about your sexuality, I can assume that you're asexual. An asexual is someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction. However, some asexuals do still experience romantic attraction.
But your gender and sexuality are things you can only label for yourself. No one else can define what gender you are or who you're attracted to.
I'll tell you what I think though. After reading this, I didn't really get the impression that you are a cisgender girl. (But like I said, only you know who you are.)
If it helps, these are a few of the different gender identities out there, although there are actually very many:
-Cisgender female/male
-Trigender (a non-binary gender identity in which someone shifts between feeling male, female, and a third gender)
-Genderfluid (a gender identity where someone feels neither male or female, but feels more male on some days and more female on others)
-Androgynous
-Transgender (FTM or MTF)
Just remember that you can identify yourself however you like. But don't worry too much about labels; what matters the most is that you're being yourself.
I hope I was able to help, and I hope you find out who you really are. :)
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It could be that you are asexual, meaning you have low to no interest in either sex, and no desires that are normally generated with such interest.
Here's what Wikipedia has to say;
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
So as you can see, there's very little known about it. Homosexuality has had a hard road being understood but as far the general publics exposure to it, we hear more about that than about bi-sexuality and nothing at all about Asexual people. but they are out there.
So don't worry, you don't have to be attracted to either, and can go through life enjoying a single life if that's what you choose.
I am very much a female and enjoy being heterosexual, but I will say that at times something deep inside me feels like I am male at a particular moment, it's my subconscious pointing out to me that I am standing like a male, thinking like one, etc... I was confused by it until my religious path took me to believing in reincarnation. If a soul has spent some past lifes as both sexes, we are naturally going to subconsciously carry those sames actions, feelings and wants of each sex. I have read that for the most part, souls will experience both but have a preference for one over the other when it comes to choices so the majority of incarnations would be mostly as male or mostly as female.
My thoughts are that if a soul split their time equally between male/female reincarnations, then that would also toss in some confusions too, of feeling like a male in a females body.
Then again, you are still just about 17. Give your brain some time to catch up. It isn't fully done developing until we reach our mid twenties. Thats why lots of teen make some decisions without considering the consequences and do dumb stuff sometimes. Again, just my logical application here, is the brain is supposedly our strongest sex organ as scientists say, then maybe it is good to wait and not panic or wonder and see what you are feeling when you are a little older. Then at that point it will be easier for you to make the best decisions for which path in life you will take in regards to relationships and sexuality.
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