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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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We sexted and it was sorta like RP because no pics and we got into a fight because I ended up liking him and at school the way he looks at me, (I'm 15 and he's 14) it's like we're the only people there. The girl he's sorta hanging out with looks EXACTLY like me so does he like me?
When anyone is doing sexual role play, it's because first and foremost in their mind is getting their sexual needs taken care of....its like when your tummy is empty and growling...your thoughts are going to be on what you can find to eat to take care of that hunger, you are not going to be thinking of another person of the opposite sex and because you really care about them, wonder if they would like to have dinner with you.
If you do think about another person, it's going to be an add on thought.
Boys when their hormones are going aren't always going to be happy with masturbating. With each new step, they're gonna want to experience more.
I think you probably realize that.
Yes, most all guys will think of sex first...after all sexual visual attraction is important. Even if its just RP stage right now.
If she looks like you, either he has a fetish for dating twins...which is highly unlikely or he just is drawn to a certain look and it doesnt go any deeper to whats inside, what the persons personality and character is like.
I could bet you money that she is only like you in looks, not on the inside though. That alone should answer your question. If he's not looking any deeper than skin deep, does he like you?
Anything having to do with romance, and anything sexual is supposed to be something special that a person engages in with another person they really have deep feelings for. Otherwise, even sexual rp is just taking care of a sexual itch caused by raging hormones. Don't be so quick to do RP sex pics or anything more with a guy unless you don't want anything more meaningful and it's okay if you're one of many he wants to try out, like a different pair of socks each day.
Here's a site you might find helpful on dating and relationships and even sexuality topics geared toward teens and college age by a college age gal. Enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen/videos
i am 11 and so wanna have sex cos i masturbate a lot
and watch porn vids. as a birthday prezzie my bf gave me a sex toy which is basically meaning do you wanna have sex hes 11 too and i felt his penis what do i do
I am actually very curious as to how an 11 yr old got their hands on a new sex toy. I know massagers from drug stores will work for clitoral stimulation but they are not really a sex toy. Hopefully its not a used one.
At your age, the best thing to do is have just masturbation for the meanwhile.
Depending on where you live, like in the States for example the age of consent for sex varies, some are 16, some 17 AND some 18. I will assume you are from the states but if you are not in North America, then do a search for Ages of consent in _________ and put whatever applies.
It gets even more specific by the state. Each can differ. While most only specify that having sex with some under 16 if the other person is 60 mos. or whatever mos. older is a felony. I randomly read some and the wording does not differentiate if the person is older than the other or if the two could be the same age. Its tricky, even if you both agree and want it, the law doesn't deem you capable of making the best decisions for yourself at that age. Actually the good decision making part of our brains doesnt develope until we reach mid twenties. At least you are asking what we think. There are many who write us who want to start at age
So a bunch of the guys in my middle school (we're all in 8th grade) keep calliing me a slut for the clothes I wear. I've only even gone out with a guy in 6th grade, and I've never even held hands with any boy! But when I call them out on it and tell them to stop, they say I'm always acting b-tchy like this and I don't know how to handle a joke, and that O'm too ugly to be a whore anyway, or 'Thats why you don't have a boyfriend'. It just really pisses me off. additional info- 13, female: I have depression, and my three best friends are all in relationships (two are guys, they both call me a slut, too). and we went out one weekend all as friends (no boyfriends or girlfriends) and the other day I said, 'we should all do that again sometime!' And they laughed at me and said, 'yeah right! we don't want to hang out with you! we're replacing you with -one of the guy's girlfriends'. It just makes me very sad, and I want to kill myself a lot because of this. :( how do I tell them to stop?
Its already been said, friends dont treat friends that way. My first impression reading your post is that you need a whole new set of friends. At your age, kids bodies are maturing way faster than their brains. In fact your brain won't be totally done growing until you reach mid 20's so anytime before then, any decision making is going to suffer in young teens. The tendency will be to say and do things they regret later when they are older and wiser.
There is no way to make a person stop doing or start doing something that they should or shouldn't do. That decision comes entirely from inside of them. Since you have no effect to make them stop and your requests that they stop fell on deaf ears, the only thing you can do is stop associating with them. Believe me, there are kids in school who will be nice who someone how despite under developed brain are at least learning and making better decissions and treat people better. We are not the populars or in-crowd. We don't tend to like to draw attention to ourselves so we kind of fade into the background. We don't stand out. You'd have to come looking for us. Some of us don't have any labels at all, like the nerd group or the brainiacs but they are part of the group too. The nerds or geeks are actually more into technology and science, or following the usual interests of the crowd as far as how most teens copy each other in dress, favorite hobbies, favorite topics, etc. They aren't afraid to be themselves. Your choice of dress is different than what most your current friends are wearing so they attack you like that to get you to cave in and crumble and become exactly like them so that you wont any longer be attacked. But a person risks losing themselves in the process. You aren't really being you and that is enough stress to affect you in a bad way, not being able to be you.
Do not compare yourself when others are pairing up. At your age, its not what its cracked up to be. The relationship last on an average 5-6 months from what I've read. The boys don't know how to treat a girl. A good majority are thinking with the head of the penis rather than the head on their shoulders and want a girl to either slowly talk her into having sex or blatantly pester her into doing so. Among the group I am encouraging you to find, there will be boys who have little interest in sex or girls yet but will make good friends. The gays and the bi-sexuals may secretly be part of the group. And therre will be guys who have watched and learned from dad how to be respectful with females and treat them nicely and really care about them. Thats where you start looking for friends and maybe you will find a nice guy to date.
Im currently 14 and I got my period when I was 12 turning 13 in about 6 months. I used to have it a bit irregular but now I get it every month after eating herbs. Now the problem is that last time,I used to have to change pads after every 3-4hrs on days 1-3 but now, Its not a problem even if I don't change them for about 9 hours. The pad would be full but it wouldn't leak. Does it mean I have a thin uterus lining? I've heard its not healthy. Now, I think I'm about to get my period but I have been having brown discharge for about 4 days already each day it gets heavier. Last time, it lasted for about 2 days and my period would have arrived.
Is there something wrong?
Thanks for taking your time to read this! :)
Nope, nothing is wrong. When a girl is young and menstruating, her period can differ all the time, in what type of flow, how much or little, length of days. more than once in a month or not occuring for a couple months at all. It was like that for me at 14. Funny thing is, my body did the exact same thing again when I started going through menopause, and it lasted about 4 years before my period quit for good. Yes, there will be girls who get periods that are predictable, same length, same flow, same time of month. But its also normal for some bodies to have to take a longer time to get used to evening out like that. Eventually you will get there but it may be up to a year or two before that happens. Here's an article that backs up what i said.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html#cat20015
Okay,
So there's this really cute who works down-stairs at my job, we'll call him Jake. I've introduce myself and we talk, and his been flirting with me. Well i think he has,because usually when we talk he keeps eye contact and smiles. And few weeks ago my department had an open house and Jake came to look around. And came to talk to me, and I was teasing him like he only came for the food, but he was like no i'm came for the smiles and smiled at me. I don't know what to think because I don't want to look much into it, because maybe he has a flirtaous personality, or just being nice. ugh confusing right?! Anyway me and my co-workers were planning on going bowling next saturday, just like casual thing,very fun and I want to invite him but I have no idea how to do without making it sounds like date. And I definitely want him to bring friends or co-workers, to make it not awkward and for him to be comfortable. But I'm already chickening out,and I really don't want to chicken out. I'm just really nervous. I don't know what to do?
Look for body language that confirms he is interested or attracted to you. Part of that is finding excuses to get near you. Have you ever had someone standing close to you...and it felt like they were standing too close and it forced you to take a step or two backward? When someone is close enough to be within arms length to reach out and touch us, it puts us in a vulnerable position and the only time we do like it is when the person is someone we are attracted to cus it actually feels good. So if he has smiled and done the eye contact thing, its a good chance that he is flirting. Come on, he is not in the same department and used it as an excuse to be able to approach you and yet make it look natural. He is looking for reasons to be near you...that shows a definite attraction. He won't know if it can develope into a serious liking of you until he spends a little more time around you so going out as a group thing is the perfect opportunity. Don't miss it. Ask him exactly as lightoftruth said. Heres a link to an article about romantic body language that lets you know if someone is flirting and attracted.
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/relationship-advice/read_romantic_body_language.shtml
me and my girlfriend just touch reproductive parts then my sperm come out and i touched her pussy can she get pregnent..its happen jst after her periods
Even if you don't enter her, there is sperm in pre cum so if it on your fingers or tip of penis and those parts touch the entrance of vagina, then yes, there is a chance of her getting pregnant. Theres always plan B, the morning after pill which is a safe bet to take cus in case but only effective if taken within 72 hours after.
The better thing would be if you plan to continue be sexually active with her is for her to go to planned parenthood and get on some birthcontrol
I have just been abandoned by a woman of which I spent 17 years with. She was diagnosed as having bi-polar disease. I did not have much experience with women prior to meeting this woman. I did not know what really to expect from a relationship with a woman, so much of her behavior I assumed was just how women were, moody etc... but now in hind sight I have found that she was lying, cheating and mentally abusive to me and made me believe that I was the one that was making her be the way she was, called me a trigger. Well I have since read up on bi-polar and the symptoms etc. and have found that they can have manic episodes for months, even up to a year or more. Well, during one of her episodes she decided to set me up for an argument, gets her girlfriend to call the police and the next thing I know I am in jail and two years after frighting the case and even after she testified on my behalf saying that what she had stated earlier was not true and that she was under heavy meds etc but still I was given a 1 year sentence and a violent felony conviction. She ruined my life, found out that she had cheated on me the whole time she was with me, took our son and left the state and I cannot do a dam thing about it cause I have no money for a lawyer, and the courts will more than likely I am told give full custody to her. My question again is WHY! What the hell is going on with our judicial system where equal rights are not for men when women are involved. She is certified mentally disabled and she lived with 20 cats, get the house so filthy that you could not even breath, and the social worker found no problem with this? Please, someone tell me that I am in and alternate universe, the bad one, because I cannot believe that no one seems to care about how women have become above suspect and reproach. What of the mental anguish of the man in these cases! What is going on here?
That unfortunately is the world we live in today. There is no justice. Morality is very twisted, and common sense is not common anymore. Humans raised today have little to no consciounce. The golden rule is not part of peoples core values.
Ever notice how as time goes on that there are more people in todays time with mental issues, on depression meds, etc.. than in decades past?
When I was in grade school through highschool, I never knew of any kids with ADHD let alone ones with mental problems or depressed. I am sure there were a few but there was no autism like we know it today. Maybe one kid in my time. Now its an epidemic. I can't help but think that there are toxins and other stuff that affect the normal brain growth of children today because the problems are so widespread. My ex had mental issues, verbally abusive and I left after 30 years with him. I have one daughter on depression meds. When dating before I met my 2nd husband, I came across quite a few guys who seemed nice at first but relaxed soon and showed the real them...which was one of the mental illnesses, bi-polar, or controlling and narcissistic., etc.
All we can do is pray for Gods grace to get us through every day.
14/F.... Heyyy so I'm haveing problems with my periods. I had my period 1-7 of july. A week later I had it again. And then it stopped its been 3 monthes and I haven't had my period!* I'm not pregnant because I'm still a virgin* and I'm not going to the doctor* please help?
I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with
you. Some girls your age may get a regular cycle that comes same time each month with few variations. Thats normal. But in the first year or two of having periods, it can vary greatly, skip months, several times in a month and so on. Read the following article about how irregular periods are normal at your age. Eventually you will develope a more predictable routine. Just so you know, I got my period when I was 14 and had the same issues, but my mom never did. No problems. I went on to give birth to 3 children. I will add that as I started menopause, my cycles began to do the same irregular stuff it did when I was 14. So don't be surprised if the same happens to you again at the other end.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html#cat20015
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. lately I've been feeling like he's holding me back.
I've always wanted to travel and do things with my life. I never wanted to be the settle down get married and have kids type. Right now I work 50 hours a week, I'm barely scraping by. I'm 21 and I haven't done anything with my life at all.
My boyfriend has just graduated college. He lives with me and doesn't have a job, and I'm supporting him, paying all the rent and bills and food and all that. So I can't afford to go out with friends and stuff. Which, for him is totally ok, becuase he's the type that likes to stay in and watch movies.
I just feel that if I stay with him, I'm stuck with this boring life forever. But I do love him for his humor, his personality, his intelligence, the sex is great, and many other things. He is a really great guy. I'm afraid that I've been with him for so long that I've gotten comfortable and wouldn't know how to be with anyone else.
I'm just so lost right now and I don't think this little explanation does it justice. I don't know what to do. Any and ALL feedback would be great.
Thanks
Yeah there can be relationships that are comfortable like an old robe, old pair of slippers or a worn baseball mitt. There's a big difference between comfortable and someone being the love of your life that you can't stand being apart from.
Healthy relationships are based on having a great friendship and having the chemistry for sex too.
Regarding the friendship part, you're not gonna hang with a girlfriend whom you find doesn't like to do the same things you do...it would be a waste of your time. Why should it be different with a guy.
I'll tell you why people treat that different.
Because, when it comes to the opposite sex, we all feel the pressure to couple up with someone. So if we find a 'nice' person even if you have nothing in common as far as hobbies, interests, dreams, goals, core values, beliefs..etc, we latch on and try to make it work because of a fear of not finding anyone better. So people settle for less. Then after so many years of marriage, they finally crack and can't handle it anymore and break the heart of the mate who is willing to continue settling for less, but the other partner is tired of changing who they are to fit someone else. So they split. The hurt to a partner is inevitable, either after 4 years or after many years of marriage, hurt is hurt. But he will recover eventually and hopefully find someone more suited to him. Never change who you are to fit another person, that is a bad mistake.
I don't think this is as much a problem financially as it is not the right guy. The right guy isn't going to live off of you but want to provide for you so you dont have to work as hard and he'll want to do so because he is so in love with you.
Sometimes I wanna break up with my fiancé sooo bad, He does and says mean things sometimes. he goes on his drinking binge he is trying to recover and has relapsed. Sometimes I get this thought process in my head that I don't wanna break up with him because I am afraid that he will fall in love with someone else. I don't get it I guess... advice desperately needed please. My mind is running in circles
Sometimes people get together with or married to someone that isn't the perfect match. They think that the new relationship energy they felt in the beginning which has worn off by now meant that they had great chemistry together. A great chemistry is needed to be best of friends, and a romantic chemistry to have a great sex life as well. Something is obviously not right if you want to give up.
Your concern should not be what he considers doing once you break up, who he gets together with. The concern should be simply...is he right for me. Can I stand being married to him, just as things are now, no improvement lets say 6 mos from now, a yr from now, 5 yrs, 10 yrs. If it's not a perfect relationship and your subconscious mind is screaming at you that something is majorly not right, then there is a point at which you know you would no longer be able to force yourself to be with someone where the future yrs doesnt hold any promise. I was able to handle a bad marriage on a day to day basis, I could even handle month to month, even another year of the same. I'd already done so forf 30 yrs. But when I looked ahead, could I handle it for 10 more or 20 more years, knowing that it would be just the same, no better, still abusive as is your situation, thats when I crumbled and realized that deep down inside, I didn't want to continue to live like that. That thought process is what helped me decide to leave him.
Don't kid yourself, acting mean and saying mean things may mean that the man is incapable of really loving others. And likely he doesnt really like himself. People drink to hide from something painful or scary they don't want to face to learn how to heal from and find ways to overcome. Drinking to avoid dealing with and getting better as a person, is like an airplane being in a holding pattern, you can't remain in a holding pattern forever, eventually you run out of fuel and crash and burn.
He is not a good candidate for a friendship never mind a marriage partner. He shouldn't even be a consideration for that at all! To have the thought, if I can't have him, I dont want anyone else to have him, is a crazy thought and from the totally wrong perspective, If he's as bad as he sounds, then you should pity the poor girl who is fooled by his charms and gets into an abusive bad relationship with him.
You deserve better than him, but if you don't believe that, theres nothing I can say to change that. You will need to suffer in an abusive relationship with possibly children who end up mentally and emotionally affected by having a dad who doesnt respect mom or them. My 3 daughter as adults now have issues that hold them back from being what they can be. They're amazing despite that fact that they did not have a normal healthy emotional environment to grow up in but it has affected them and how they developed. You may feel you don't deserve any better and want to settle for less, but its not fair to bring kids into the world when dad is an S.O.B. and abusive. So if you can't see reason to break it off with him, at least hear what I am saying as a mother, and make sure you don't have any kids with him. I wish I had left him before I had kids or at least when they were young so they wouldve had a better chance.
My boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, and I just broke up a few days ago after a little over a month of constant fighting and "one last chances". Whenever we see each other, we're happier than ever and it feels like we just started dating all over again (we've been together for over a year), but when we're apart and we dont see each other because of our busy schedules, we argue about stupid stuff that ultimately results in saying hurtful things that we dont mean, breaking up, and then realizing we love each other and getting back. What does this mean? Is it worth still trying or should we just give up? we're 19 and we love each other SO much, but the stupid fights are too much to handle sometimes...HELP!
Relationships at this stage in life are going to be fragile because there is so much going on that can sabotage it. One obvious issue is your age and inexperience in life, and the (dare I say it) immature responses to each other which start the next fight cycle. Hon, I am not condemning you...we all, me included were immature even though in many ways we felt grown up. I married at 20, in retrospect, that was a big mistake...I had very little life experience and knowledge AND a reall biggie...the part of the brain responsible for any young person to be able to make good solid, decisions, had not finished developing yet. That incomplete and therefore immature decisions and actions making brain isnt done til our mid twenties.
So don't be hard on yourselves and think you're terrible people or anything, right now its a matter of age and still needing to complete growing up. Then again, you have the stress of busy schedules, whether its school for both, or job and school and studying and the times of schedules keeping you apart which can be frustrating.
While there's a chance that even though you love each other, that there isn't enough chemistry and things in common that cause your issues, my instincts tell me that in your case its more likely due to inexperience in relationships, how to act in a more adult manner as far as handling the stress of your life, schedule and the relationship.
A fact of life is that a healthy relationship takes two people putting in maximum effort to make it so. It doesn't happen just because there is a feeling of love. I am in love with my 2nd husband and he with me. But there are things he will do at times that irritate me. I have to remember that I may do things that in turn irritate him, and is it all the important to get worked up about? No. If it is something that I believe will effect either of our personal mental health, physical health or emotional health and welfare, then I bring up what I see to be an issue and gently talk it out without blaming or pointing fingers, just stating that I am concerned and what my worries and concerns are and that if it isn't addressed and fixed, it will continue to irritate the relationship and possibly put stress on us and our love so to keep the relationship happy, instead of ignoring an issue, we work through it and find a solution that each of us can live with.
For you to be able to do that, you need less stress of college or job or whatever life is bringing your way. Or finding ways to deal what that stress so you don't let it out on each other. If older people still don't understand the opposite sex completely, do you think that at 19 the both of you have it totally figured out. Likely theres a lot to learn. I am still learning in my 50's. I know enough to have a fairly problem free relationship, but I learn new things every day about personality types and how to get along with them. I might suggest you and he study a book together on relationships, the difference between how men and woman think and act and how its often interpreted wrong by the other. But you may not have the time for it. When you are ready to, no matter how much is on your plate, the two of you will make a decision how important the relationship is above all else, school, jobs, etc.
And then you find prioritize your life to put working on yourselves to learn to respond rather than react, to make more mature decisions wiht each other, and take time to learn to understand the opposite sex better, and then to learn his own unique personality quirks, what you love, what irritates, and choosing to let the insignificant quirks just slide.
Ok so here is the situation I have been wit my bf for 3 yrs now. We have a beautiful baby boy and he is always so happy. My bf is an alcoholic and he has slowed way way down but every once in awhile wen something is going bad he relapses n he is mean. In the past it was terrible miserable I can't even find the right words for it. it was a full blown abusive relationship. We broke up he got better and I accepted him to be in our life. for the note he is an AWESOME daddy. So he cheated a lot in the past with about 16 different girls and I still have my fears that he will do it again. I do push and question a lot and he swears he hasn't done it and I haven't heard anything which I usually do because people like to start drama. But it still hurts really bad and he doesn't like to talk about it because it makes him feel like a piece of shit and he feels he has to live in the past. Well anyways that caused tension he went n drank. He started calling me the usual names dumb bitc* c*nt sh*t like that and then it got serious he said to me Your just mad that I cheated on you and stuck my d**k in some other chick and came in her.... then just lost it and started telling me a bunch of bullshit I turned up the music and plugged my ears. We went to some girls grave that we went to school with and he got out and started crying on her grave right in front of me but said she was one of the ones and I was his only one. I don't get that I don't think he loves me Does he love the thought of love, security, bond and everything that a relationship entitles When we fight he goes to extremes to make me feel the worst possible but then for the next month or two we are perfect. Maybe he just loves the fact of the relationship but he actually doesn't love me? Or is it just a drunk relapse and he is mad at me because I demanded him to slow his drinking down and he is mad because it is hard and he relapses and he thinks I will get pissed at him for it when really it can be handled way different and Im willing to work with him when he doesn't treat me like shit. Please help. I love him I love him sooo much and I want all this to stop. Can it be fixed or is it break up time.... In the end I just want what is best for my baby, he is the air I breathe he is my savior baby I love him more than anything and I wanna give him a beautiful life... HELP ASAP
I am going to start with telling you that there is no such thing as slowing down on drinking for a person with a drinking problem. It's not alcohol that is a problem here, it can be taken in moderation by many people but the difference is they are not addicted to it. Just because you've seen him go for a period of time without drinking, does not mean that he is not addicted. When difficulties in life come and he can't be adult enough to face and go through in other ways, he turns to alcohol for solace...every time...it's a pattern. Its an addiction.
Your pushing and questioning him is normal for your situation. He has not given any consistent behavior that would instill trust in you. He keeps breaking your trust.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions and brings up and out that which is buried deep inside. The mean-ness that comes up means he had some major issues he needs to face and go through and get healing for...it's all bottled up in his subconscious mind, thats where all our emotion and feelings come from, the good and the bad. Problem is that he is unwilling to face that which causes internal emotional pain for him because of a fear of the feeling of the pain all over again. It could be parents abusing him as a child, the pain of being shy and bullied as a kid, the pain of the death of friend or loved one, or not happy with oneself in general but at same time not wanting to make any changes, having a low self esteem, etc....
Because people are so afraid to face their fear or ugly incidents of the past to get healing, most remain that way for life. >There's a very good chance that boyfriend will never change.
You want whats best for baby? Good! What about whats best for yourself? Thats the lesson I had to learn being not with an alcoholic but a man with mental illness and childhood insecurities, turns out he never loved me, I was only his 'security blanket' that gave him false sense of security when he had to face things he didnt like. And the frustrations for him never went away, he verbally abused for 30 years and it slowly got worse and worse, towards the end b efore i left him, he was beginning to be physically abusive as well. I went thru the exact same things you do....loving the person, getting abuse from them, then the person apologizing, then another honeymoon period where all was well for a while and yes I could see some of his good qualities and then it started over again, he would crack under pressure and abuse again.
In the beginning, the times of abuse were less than the good times. As will happen subconsciously when buried troubles and issues are undealt with, that need to heal gets stronger so the issues get worse. So over time, the bad phases began to come more often than the good in this crazy cycle. If you stay with him long enough, you will see the same thing. I stayed 30 yrs. I hope you don't stay that long. Right now he needs a good counselor, not a relationship, because he is not in the state of mental and emotional health to be in a relationship. Until he allows himself to face, deal with and heal from whatever plagues him, he will never be ready to be in a relationship.
There is one other issue and that lies with you. I had to come to the same realization. I had to end up being treated worse and worse willing to be treated that way until I finally got to the point when I said...no more. What I needed to learn and is likely what you need to learn, is to love yourself first above and beyond loving any other, a mate, a child, a friend. The bible verse that talks about loving your neighbor as you love yourself, was something I realized we all tend to look at and miss the most important part...We realize we need to love our neighbor. but the "as yourself' part is often overlooked. The deal is, if we don't know how to love ourselves first, then we will be incapable of loving others in a way that is really effective, a person who does not love themself enough and allows themself to be abused, is not going to really be able to love others the way that they should. Oh but I love myself you say. I'm sure you do, and baby. But only to a certain degree. You can't be boyfriends savior and healer by staying with him. Staying with him may help him to delusionally believe that he is having a normal healthy life cus he has you and has a son and you all life together.
Also, the kind of treatment he gives you will slowly over the years eat away at and destroy whatever love you have for him now...the romantic love. In the end, I had no feelings left of being in love with him. I care about him as a human being and wish his life was better. But only he can bring about t he change for healing because the will for it must come from inside. And so many of us lack will power for anything.
I know its hard, but its going to be best for you. Save you the stress it puts on your body physically over time (stomach ulcers, headaches, migraines, etc..) and gives baby a better chance at growing up normal. My 3 daughters turned out okay but I see dysfunctional tendencies crop up in them quite often and see how having a verbally abusive dad did have its negative effects on them, even tho they turned out to be wonderful people despite it all.
You knew what you needed to do, you just needed to sort out in your mind a strong enough reason so that you can make yourself go through with it.
20,f. My mom has gotten ill. I'm not sure for how long.
At first her doctors were saying it was Multiple Sclerosis but now they are saying it is Lupus
I've done a little research on the disease, and it looks like there's a lot more treatment for people living with Lupus.
My mom and I talk at least once a week but I only see her every other week. I am in college and live in the same town as my mother. We have never been super close, but since she has gotten sick I want to do everything I can to help her. I am really afraid for her right now and she doesn't know what to expect.
What can I do to be the most supportive of my mom?
What can I expect from her with her disease?
People with Lupus need to avoid sunlight. They may need to change their diets. I know of a family that has it. Their bodies are more sensitive to food allergies. And slowly they became more sensitive to more foods. They also can't handle the chemicals in the environment or that we unknowingly bring into our homes or apply to our bodies. Normal air fresheners, household cleaners, body products, like soaps, shampoos, lotions can add to the toxic overload their bodies cant handle and make them more ill. My daughters boyfriend has it. Thats how I know. They have to go to all natural cleansers like making your own with vinegar, or lemon juice and baking soda or hydrogen peroxide is safe too. She may want to switch to all natural body care products, even makeup from the natural health stores in your area. When they were overrun with fleas this summer, flea bombs were out of the question. It wouldve put him in the hospital. We helped them research natural non toxic ways to get rid of fleas. A person can manage their Lupus but they have to be willing to do the little changes that will add up to them feeling the best they possibly can. Add your support by doing some research on line for anything and everything that we daily come into contact with that contains chemicals, even bug sprays or plant fertilizers for out doors could have an effect on her. Feed her the info. Go shopping at natural health stores with her and get her interested in trying the alternative products. It wont cure her but should make coping with Lupus a lot easier.
Hi... 14/F please don't juge me..* but a friend of me asked for naked pics. It was a depressing and awfull day and he wouldn't stop asking even if I said no* so I sended him a pic and a video. And he promised he wouldn't say* but he did and I'm afraid its going to be the whole school full!* what sould I do please help??
Its too late to undo it hon. I remember a movie about something similar and the teasing and bullying and the whole school making one girls life miserable. Even when her mom got involved there was nothing the principle could technically do.
If you do end up getting harassment from all your peers, you are going to need some loving support. I am a mom and have 3 daughters in their 20's. If my daughter confessed to having done such a thing, I would see it as one of the dumb things we all do as teens. I would still love her and want to support her through this awful experience.But I would be angry at the young boy who placed such pressure on my daughter. There will be other girls he'll do the same thing to. I would want to confront him and his parents not because it would rectify thats already been done but to make sure that he doesnt do it again. All I can think of is to ask your mom the same thing, not to judge you but give you some emotional support. Don't try to go through it alone. The kids who try that likely will begin to fail in all their classes or drop out of school. It would be worth putting you in another school.
Next time someone harasses you for whatever reason and won't take no for an answer, you report that person to what ever authorities there are...in school that would be the principal...Adults with someone harassing them would call the police.
By the way, I wouldnt consider the person who did this a friend...a classmate yes...but a friend doesnt treat a friend that way.
I hope you end up coming out of this a stronger person and learn how to not let anyone else ever push you around and try to make you do something you dont want to do. What you could have done is shown mom all the texts from him asking for such stuff and telling her that you've said no over and over and he keeps harrassing you and its been going on for ___ days. She would've done something about it to protect you. I think its still a good idea to get mom involved. You can always tell her you didnt ask for her help cus you were scared and tell her what you were scared of, that perhaps you thought she'd believe you invited this kind of attention, or you thought if you sent what he wanted that he'd leave you alone.
I paid about $60.00 for this white strapless dress that I wore to a beauty pageant that I was in and haven't worn it since because I feel like it's going to fall off of me while i am wearing it it's a modesty issue . I don't like showing a lot of skin and every time I raise my arms it feels like it's going to fall off and I don't have the right type of bra either and I hate to waste $60.00 on a dress that i am only going to wear one time any solutions anybody would be greatly appreciated.
I get that too, feeling like a strapless top or dress is going to slip down as my arms and chest go up. Some times it does indeed creep tiny little bits that aren't noticeable at first so the only solution is to attach spaghetti straps or something thin like spaghetti straps that are attached at the middle and go around your neck halter style. Fabric stores may have something that will work for straps. Problem will be getting the exact color and fabric. So if I were you, I'd go for the ribbons or clothing embellishments that can be bought by the yard. Some will be sequins or jewels already sewn onto a strip of fabric. You could buy more than you think you'll need to be on the safe side. take the dress along and get the opinion of a clerk who works there. Hold the strap material up to your dress. She can probably also give you an idea of how much to get. Once you have it, make sure you have some sturdy safety pins to use in getting the right placement first. You'' want the help of a family member or friend who is good at sewing or crafty stuff. And have her keep making adjustments while you are wearing it so it feels comfortable. Or you can find a tailor or seamstress in the yellow pages or sometimes some dry cleaner also have a seamstress in same shop. And see what they would charge you to attach the straps for you. Then you'll have a fancy dress you can wear over the years so that the little investment at the fabric shop and for a tailor pays off.
whil i get pregnunt i did use the pil for a week an not any more
where did you get the birth control pills? Didn't your gynecologist or Planned Parenthood give you instructions on how to take it. Perhaps you weren't paying an attention to them and that could be costly to you. You could be pregnant right now. And if not, if you continue to not take it in the manner that doctors prescribe, you will be pregnant in the near future...I can guarantee it.
Hon, You need to educate yourself, no one is going to do it for you. It important to read the instructions. The pill has to be taken for a week so it can slowly build up in your system BEFORE you have sex. But the moment you stop taking it again, the amount of it in your system begins to decrease which increases your chances of becoming pregnant.
It must be taken daily and at the same time of day. Using an alarm on a cell phone is a good reminder to take it the same time daily. If you want a really carefree form of birthcontrol where you don't have to worry about daily pills, patches, going on time for appointments for the shots, then I suggest you get either the Mirenda IUD which is hormonal, or the Paragard copper IUD which is non hormonal but works just a well as the copper is an inhibiter for the fertilized eggs ability to implant. It costs more at first but in the long run is cheaper cus it lasts for 8 to 10 years. Imagine that many years of not having to have a worry about getting pregnant. ANd when you are ready to have a child the dr takes it back out and you can start trying for a child immediately.
I'm 19, female. I'm a sophomore in college. I just wanted to talk a little about this boy I like which is where my little girl will come out. I liked him since last year when we lived in the same dorm. It is now a year later, I work in one hall and he works in the other but I go over to his hall a lot because most of the people that worked in my dorm last year, got hired on his staff so I go over there to visit my friends quite frequently. About a week ago, I was eating dinner with my roommate, and my former community assistant who is a guy as well. He was joking with me that I'm such a chicken and will never tell the boy that I like him and he said if I don't, he'll text him and tell him. I challenged him because I didn't think he would really do it but he texted him "hey, ______ from last year thinks you're cute." he texted back "aw, that's sweet of her." Yes, he didn't get it at all. He's a little dense, he needs things laid out on the table in great detail in order for him to understand. Anyway, like I said, that was last week. This week, we've seen each other quite a few times but never really up close so we didn't really talk. Last night, I was over at his dorm having a movie night with some friends. The movie was over and my roommate and I were leaving and he was standing at the front door, I didn't look at him because I'm a little upset with him that he is "seeing" this girl but he said hello to my roommate. Back to the girl, apparently she told him that she likes him and he said he wants to remain friends because he really isn't as interested as he should be if agreeing to a relationship. That's what my former CA told me today because he asked him about her and apparently that's what he said, that they are just friends.
So, my former CA and my roommate are both on my case to tell him how I feel because they think he might not want to be with the other girl because he wants to be with me. I highly doubt that is true because we barely talked last year, I conversed with him a little this year, we talk sometimes on facebook and we joke a lot, he called me a sweetheart one night because I'm always so nice to him. My former CA and roommate just want us to be together so badly, as do I, but I don't think I should tell him because I don't think he feels the same or else he wouldn't have ignored me last night or the other day in the cafe.
What do you think about him and what do you think I should do?
Thanks.
Your not the one sounding like a 14 yr old, but its all your friends who are. Really, thats my impression by what you shared.
So you need a good way to know when a guy is interested in you. Since you're over there enough when he's around, look for body language, it's usually a give away that someone is interested.
Watch yourself too. If someone steps up close to you to talk, there's a certain distance that does not feel comfortable, the person is standing too close so you will take a step away. Its totally different when that person is someone of the opposite sex that you find attractive, if a guy comes No,to stand near you like within arms reach and you don't move away, thats a signal to him that you like him. If you go to stand close to him and he doesnt step away, its a good chance he is interested. But dont count on one thing. The person will also be always trying to make eye contact, talking to you, choosing to sit next to you, in conversation, we tend to lean toward those we have an interest in, and last of all, we tend to mirror, or copy whatever the other is doing, if one crosses their legs the other will cross theirs. If you move a hand to smooth back a strand of hair, he will subconsciously do the same. If you touch your face, he will touch his somehow, maybe not exactly same spot but something similar. Our subconscious does this when we are real comfortable and interested in the other person enough to want to get to know them better. The only way to do that is hang out together, quality time for just the two of you.
If the interest is both ways, usually the two eventually pick up on it. If its only one way, and he isn't interested in you the same way, then he will be nice and friendly but not make any body language moves. Remember its a subconscious action so he will do it even if he isn't consciously aware of it. Telling a person that you like them can mean as a freind or that you are attracted enough to want to spend more time with them. The only way to get the answer you want would be to ask, if he'd like to spend more time together to get to know each other better because of the mutual attraction you have. But you don't point blank ask that, not unless there is unmistakenable body language to back it up.
Cus if his body says one thing and he says another, then you can point out to his body language and tell him its not something a guy doesn if he doesnt have some personal interest. So then privately, without others listening so he's not embarassed, you could ask if he is just nervous, shy or a bit scared of getting into a more serious than friends relationship with a girl cus if so, you promise to go at a pace that hie is comfortable with at first and once he's comfortable, all should proceed normally. But I would warn your friends to not meddle, grow up and read something about romantic body language so they can be better informed themselves. Here's an article to get them and you started.
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/relationship-advice/read_romantic_body_language.shtml
Hey, well, my mom has a blood clot in her lung which in the past she's has three and survived well she got another one recently in the last week and she gets the feel to think why did god save me from death again? I'm at loss don't know how to help her. My family has financial issues and my life is typically terrible. I feel like a complete failure to my family. Please help me. I am AT COMPLETE LOSS.
The two most stressful things any person can face are health issues or financial issues and you have both in your family.
Other than prayers for you and your family, there is nothing a single person can do to change your situation.
Every person has their challenges in life to go through, their own stress, heartbreaks, etc... and some will seem way easier to you than your own and you could find yourself saying, I'll trade you my troubles for yours any day...I can handle that.
Life is not fair. But when we look at hardships like this as a process rather than focus on ourselves, it begins to have meaning. Hang in with me, I'm about to explain what I mean.
Think of one of the most sought after stones, the diamond. It is so hard nothing can scratch it but it can scratch other things. From what I've read, the mineral s and everything that makes up a diamond had to go through incredible pressure to become what it is today. If the diamond in the making, were a person going through that kind of pressure, it would be crying out, Why me? What did I do wrong to deserve this awful treatment?
If it did not get the pressure, it would not become a diamond. So it is for our souls. The greater importance is the personal growth and the beauty in a soul that comes from going through horrible hardships in life, no matter what losses we experience, loss of a life, a job, a friend, etc... This won't make you feel any better but may help you understand the process, of what is going on.
In case you may think I cannot understand what you are going through, I will share some of the losses I have experienced. In 1998 my mom died of cancer, we got to watch her body waste away. 4 years later, after many strokes, my dad finally died too. I was in a marriage where I was verbally abused and I finally left after 30 years. I have found a wonderful man, my one bright spot. But the both of us are currently unemployed and have no home of our own. We'd be on the streets if it wasn't for someone taking us in. He ran out of unemployment pay long ago. Hard as it may be, I do have a choice how I will face my difficulties, so do you. I am not saying to be unrealistic and say Hey everythings cool and will turn out alright and have happy endings like in a movie.
I am talking about how though I miss mom and dad, I know I'll see them again in heaven. I had to focus on being in the here and now for my kids when I lost my parents. Life goes on, just not in the same way as before. I find myself thinking, mom would have loved this or loved that...but she's watching from heaven so she's not really missing out...I only miss having her physical presence. In my previous marriage, I had to live frugal when that husband kept losing jobs, and learned to cut down, go to foodbanks, shop 2nd hand, etc. Now with 2nd husband, I've had to learn to cut down even more, when you havent a home, all you've got to take with you is what fits in a van, thats it. Things I took comfort in, little collectibles, things with memories attached, I had to let it all go, one by one. It was hard. I cried each time I had to downsize my belongings even more. And yet, I am happy, and haven't let my circumstances 'break' me or rob me of my joy. Joy is something that can't be changed by the circumstances or happenings around us. Most of us have difficulty going through hardships because we never had joy, only happiness which is temporary and based on happenstance. I am sorry for what you are going through dear. I hope you do find some peace in the middle of your storm.
Okay so im going to explain this the best that I can. So i have a neighbor who i have known since i was 9 and im now 17 on Thursday! :p okay so we were best friends and we kissed! So we have made up a couple of times and it just hasnt worked out too well. So just about a month ago he messaged me on Facebook out of no where (i like him so i was super excited) and he wanted to ride bikes like we used to do every night! So we rode bikes 3 different times and i thought all was going well and we were friends again and we were gonna work on this. But then out of no where he just started ignoring me. I didnt do anything at all.. And he had his keychain at my house and i found it and so i told him and he asked me if i could put it in him mailbox! Well when i got back inside i told him i put it in there. And he messaged me back and told me thanks and he couldnt ride bikes that night. So i told him to just message me when he could and its been 2 or 3 weeks and he still hasnt messaged me. So ive been going to his youth group that my friend who also goes there invited me to! And ive been 3 times and each time hes only spoken to me once! Hes either says hey or bye. Thats all and when we are alone together im like a complete stranger. I just dont understand whats going on..He was just talking to me a couple weeks ago and out of no where hes now ignoring me.. and i know i can say something but im very shy and just dont know what to say!! Im pretty dissapointed and very sad about this actually. Especially since i like him!! But idk if i should try to talk to him about this or just leave it alone and stuff. Its hard when i have to see him when he goes down the road and at youth group and bible study. So if anyone has any advice on this PLEASE help me im begging you!! Im tired of having to go through this everyday!
P.S. any suggestions on talking to him or what i should say to him! whether its me asking about what our friendship is or just regular talking if I should even talk to him at all!
Thanks, Candice.
First of all, you are going to want a guy that is really into you, not worrying about the ones that aren't. There's a lot of change going on in people between ages 8,9 10 and highschool, and then even more changes in maturity and what we like, between highschool and college.
The initial interest he had in you in the past, he may have wanted to see if it was still there. So he went bike riding for an excuse to be with you. Kts possible that he discovered that his feelings have changed, not due to anything you've done wrong. But possibly he doesnt feel the same and especially now when old enough for hormones to be able to determine a spark or romantic chemistry with someone, if he doesnt feel it, due to his age and inexperience, he has no idea how to treat you or what catagory you fit into.
He may be afraid of giving you false hopes for a romantic dating relationship that he doesnt want now so a guy will distance himself out of concern of not wanting to hurt a female, not knowing that the very act of distancing himself is hurtful.
First of all, you need to be okay with the fact that his feelings may have changed and not have any expectations, not even in just the friendship realm before he will feel comfortable to open up. So if you want to be on speaking terms with him, you may have to convince him that you have no expectations of him. That you were friends in the past but you understand that you both have changed and some of those changes may make your friendship different. So tell him he doesnt have to distance himself to keep from hurting you. Let him know that his distancing himself is actually making you feel worse, not helping. All you want is to be able to support him in whatever it is he wants. If he is finding himself attracted to another girl, you don't want to mess things up for him. If he likes you no longer romantically as he did in the past, you understand but need to know that from him and you wont hold it against him, he can still be friendly with you cus above all,you value his friendship. If you can say and really mean all that, then you have something you can say to him. Otherwise it will continue to be awkward between you two.
So theres a girl that i met a few weeks ago and shes really cute, we've hung out a few times and she likes me. But recently i found out one of my REALLY good friends might be in a relationship soon and i got really jealous and i think is till have feelings for her because i liked her last year and i still think i have liked her all along but im not sure what to do because i dont want to ruin my friendship with her, and crush the other girl, but i really want to let her know how i feel about her. What in the crap do i do?? Im a freshman guy btw.
People date so that they aren't alone, cus they think it is the status quo of what society expects, that we all are supposed to end up as part of a couple.
But thats not a good reason to be with someone. We need to be a whole person, not lacking in some way and, not needing someone to complete us. It is a wonderful thing to find someone we have lots in common with, we have a spark, a chemistry with that is still there months later after the New Relationship energy has worn off, and whom we enjoy being with, who we find brings a joy to all the normal and routine activities in life simply because they are there at our side. When you find a girl like that, nurture that relationship. For though you may through out life enjoy looking at a pretty woman, no one will capture all your attention love and desire as she does. YOu will have no desire to date or be with any other woman if she's the right one.
In life, we may meet some very nice people who make best friends material but just because they are the opposite sex does not mean that you should go for a relationship. If its just a rumor and the old lady friend is still available, maybe you need to ask her if she's ever felt anything for you beyond the kind of love for a friend, is there any spark or chemistry that she's ever felt? Especially when its someone you spent not just a couple occasions with but hung out alot to gether. If she doesnt feel it, then let her go. A one sided spark isn't enough to have the sexual satisfaction in the long run and ends up with one or both partners looking to others to get their sexual needs met. Big mistake. A great majority of people marry someone like that...because it feels comfortable like an old worn baseball glove, but the spark is missing. you need both friendship and that spark for a successful long term relationship. If you aren't ready for long term and are not that kind of person to want to get that serious, then don't try to claim someone who is searching for a long term partner. Its not fair to them. Not trying to rush you into a major committment here. Its just that some people aren't ready yet and the person they adore is. By time they are ready to commit, the other may not be available.
Thats part of life and you may need to face some heartbreaks like that. But certainly don't change who you are or force yourself into some commitment you're not ready for just to avoid losing someone. Anytime someone changes who they are to be the right person for someone else, the relationship will have problems because of the one who wasn't be true to themselves. It may stay buried in the beginning but it all surfaces in the end and ends up a messy break up. Been there, done that.