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Always called a slut :(
So a bunch of the guys in my middle school (we're all in 8th grade) keep calliing me a slut for the clothes I wear. I've only even gone out with a guy in 6th grade, and I've never even held hands with any boy! But when I call them out on it and tell them to stop, they say I'm always acting b-tchy like this and I don't know how to handle a joke, and that O'm too ugly to be a whore anyway, or 'Thats why you don't have a boyfriend'. It just really pisses me off. additional info- 13, female: I have depression, and my three best friends are all in relationships (two are guys, they both call me a slut, too). and we went out one weekend all as friends (no boyfriends or girlfriends) and the other day I said, 'we should all do that again sometime!' And they laughed at me and said, 'yeah right! we don't want to hang out with you! we're replacing you with -one of the guy's girlfriends'. It just makes me very sad, and I want to kill myself a lot because of this. :( how do I tell them to stop?
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Hey, first of all, friends do not treat or speak to or about another friend like that. A friend would not allow others to speak in such a way of you, nor do the trash talking themselves. Friends do not bring each other down nor belittle others, so these people are not real 'friends'.
Second of all, you obviously don't have 'slut' qualities. You sound like a conservative person to me.
Around your age, there's a lot of immaturity. The people that you have been hanging with are not an ideal group of people that anyone would want to call friends. They lack courtesy, and they don't treat you with any respect.
You should definately isolate yourself away from this group of people. You don't need to give them any explanation..
You can get to know other people and hopefully they will be kind, friendly and caring. Know who you're friends with.
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Its already been said, friends dont treat friends that way. My first impression reading your post is that you need a whole new set of friends. At your age, kids bodies are maturing way faster than their brains. In fact your brain won't be totally done growing until you reach mid 20's so anytime before then, any decision making is going to suffer in young teens. The tendency will be to say and do things they regret later when they are older and wiser.
There is no way to make a person stop doing or start doing something that they should or shouldn't do. That decision comes entirely from inside of them. Since you have no effect to make them stop and your requests that they stop fell on deaf ears, the only thing you can do is stop associating with them. Believe me, there are kids in school who will be nice who someone how despite under developed brain are at least learning and making better decissions and treat people better. We are not the populars or in-crowd. We don't tend to like to draw attention to ourselves so we kind of fade into the background. We don't stand out. You'd have to come looking for us. Some of us don't have any labels at all, like the nerd group or the brainiacs but they are part of the group too. The nerds or geeks are actually more into technology and science, or following the usual interests of the crowd as far as how most teens copy each other in dress, favorite hobbies, favorite topics, etc. They aren't afraid to be themselves. Your choice of dress is different than what most your current friends are wearing so they attack you like that to get you to cave in and crumble and become exactly like them so that you wont any longer be attacked. But a person risks losing themselves in the process. You aren't really being you and that is enough stress to affect you in a bad way, not being able to be you.
Do not compare yourself when others are pairing up. At your age, its not what its cracked up to be. The relationship last on an average 5-6 months from what I've read. The boys don't know how to treat a girl. A good majority are thinking with the head of the penis rather than the head on their shoulders and want a girl to either slowly talk her into having sex or blatantly pester her into doing so. Among the group I am encouraging you to find, there will be boys who have little interest in sex or girls yet but will make good friends. The gays and the bi-sexuals may secretly be part of the group. And therre will be guys who have watched and learned from dad how to be respectful with females and treat them nicely and really care about them. Thats where you start looking for friends and maybe you will find a nice guy to date.
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Well you obviously know you're not a slut.
Middle school guys are extremely immature. They don't think before they speak and they really don't care.
Two of your best friends are the guys that call you a slut? They don't treat you like a friend. It's extremely disrespectful of a guy to call a girl a slut. That's not what friends do.
So stop hanging out with them. They're just going to make you more upset and you don't need friends like that.
You should also talk to your parents or a counselor. They'll help you deal with your problems instead of thinking that killing yourself is the way out.
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Hey there!
First, please i beg you don't hurt yourself over this. I'm way out of the middle school, but let me tell you 8th grades guys are bunch immature idiots. I know its hard at your age, but don't listen to them. Do you believe your slut? Obviously you don't. THAT'S the truth, and when they say stuff like that roll your eyes and walk away. They want you to confront them, but if you walk away they don't have any power, now do they? Also, I advise you talk to your school counselor on your depression, or some authoritative figure about this. For your best friends, maybe consider hanging out with different people for awhile, and maybe focus on yourself a little bit. Real friends shouldn't put you down like that. This won't necessarily stop them, but it can maybe help you deal with this situation. I know it sucks, but you can get through this, I know you can. I hope this help. If you need any more advice, please don't be afraid to ask and if these things keep going on, please let someone know! Good luck, i'm rotting for you.!
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