My boyfriend doesn't talk much but our friends try to get us 2 talk but when we do all he says is hello. We can't have α proper conversation what can I do to start one
On another note, if you are attempting to make conversation with him and he doesn't want to talk, he could either be shy or just uninterested. If he seems bored with you, then I would suggest ending the relationship because why stay in a boring relationship without any sort of communication? [ runawaywithme's advice column | Ask runawaywithme A Question ]
lightoftruth answered Friday September 20 2013, 9:57 pm: I was in a similar situation when I was 14. He told my friends that he liked me and they pretty much got us together. We'd only sit together and hardly talked. It was pretty much our friends telling us what to do. They would say, "Hold her hand!" Or try to get us to talk. I was way too shy and so was he.
So, take your friends out of this relationship. That's a good start. You guys are in an awkward stage, trying to figure out what to do and what's the right thing to say. But in reality, talking to your boyfriend is no different than talking to a friend. So pretty much just talk about things you'd talk to your friends about. Well maybe exclude talking about crushes, shopping, ect. But think of what you would say to your guy friends.
Eventually it'll become more comfortable and you guys will be able to talk normally.
Usually it's not too bad in the beginning of relationships because they were friends beforehand. I'm guessing you guys weren't good friends because you guys can't talk. So you guys are becoming friends, but still have the boyfriend/girlfriend title. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Friday September 20 2013, 8:39 pm: How is it that this guy got to boyfriend state if he never says anything but Hello?
He may be shy and quiet by nature. To expect someone to change who they are as a personality is not right. Even if a person tries to change to keep a person or attract a person, it blows up in the end. They suffer stress and or resentment from not being able to be themselves and the partner picks up on things like them not really being into the relationship and them growing apart. It happens every day honey. Unless its simply a need to learn how to feel comfortable talking to others and wanting and asking for help, then you and buddies putting pressure on him isn't going to change things. You all must see something in him to want to still hang around even if he's so different.
All I can suggest is to ask questions that cannot be answered by a yes or no as the convo will end there.
IE Billy, did you have a good weekend? which he can answer yes or no.How is it that this guy got to boyfriend state if he never says anything but Hello?
He may be shy and quiet by nature. To expect someone to change who they are as a personality is not right. Even if a person tries to change to keep a person or attract a person, it blows up in the end. They suffer stress and or resentment from not being able to be themselves and the partner picks up on things like them not really being into the relationship and them growing apart. It happens every day honey. Unless its simply a need to learn how to feel comfortable talking to others and wanting and asking for help, then you and buddies putting pressure on him isn't going to change things. You all must see something in him to want to still hang around even if he's so different.
All I can suggest is to ask questions that cannot be answered by a yes or no as the convo will end there.
IE Billy, did you have a good weekend? which can be answered yes or no.
The other would be: Billy what did you do this weekend, or what did you do on Saturday night? Yes and no are not answers to that question.
One more thing, regarding why we date and have boyfriends and girlfriends....the core reason is to learn what we like and don't like in a person. What type of behavior in general we won't tolerate and to get to know more about a person. In learning more, we either discover that so far, we seem to be a good match, lets get deeper into the relationship and bare our hearts and lives and learn more, or we learn we have little in common or there are some major issues that you wont tolerate and you quit dating.
If he is truly a boyfriend, it should go easy...the relationship should flow even the convo and meeting of minds, even for quiet reserved people,, its just with them its less than what you would be comfortable with.
So besides not being very open and sharing and communicative, are there other things you need to look and see if you're a good match even if just for friends and nothing more serious, if not, time to stop wasting time hanging out with him. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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