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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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hi we are both married . I have feelings for her but she said no. Inspite of tis she accepts gifts from me .and I have touched her breasts and kissed on her neck .I always think of her but she never reciprocate .I always pay for dinners but she never did bring me anything.now the confusing part is she says she didn't tell anyone that she is meeting me .she let me kissed her on her lips but then got grumpy .any good aadvise will be welomed
Were you forced to marry your wife? Do you stay married in order to not bring shame on the family?
If you can answer yes to both questions, you are allowing other people to live their lives through you, not live your life for yourself and make decisions that you feel are best for yourself.
I understand why people can be attracted outside the marriage to either date for the emotional needs or have sex for unmet sexual needs. Perhaps this lady has only the need for attention and emotional needs. Either way, why are either of you still married to someone who is not right for you? We can love a person who is not right for us but that isn't a good enough reason to get married to them.
My best advice is to think of the golden rule found in all religious beliefs :
Love thy neighbor as thyself (Christianity)
What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.
This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.(Hindu)
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.(Buddhism)
The golden rule is best interpreted as saying: "Treat others only as you consent to being treated in the same situation." To apply it, you'd imagine yourself on the receiving end of the action in the exact place of the other person (which includes having the other person's likes and dislikes). If you act in a given way toward another, and yet are unwilling to be treated that way in the same circumstances, then you violate the rule.
So, based on that, how would you feel if your wife were out dating, maybe having sex with another man while married to you. If it's okay for you to do, then it should be okay for her to do. If she is being faithful to you, then how do you think it will make her feel to discover what you are doing, or for the other womans husband to discover what you and she are doing.
This very rule of how to conduct ourselves in life will answer almost all issues we come up against during our lives. So this is my advice, apply this rule to your situation.
I can see only two or 3 possibilities. Ask your wife how she feels about you sexually, are her needs all met, is she in love with you? If not, doesnt she deserve that? If divorce is not an issue due to the country you live in and the cultural rules, then the loving thing would be to be come to an agreement to have an open marriage, both allowing the other to find partner for love and sex outside the marriage who is SINGLE. They must not be married or you become part of hurting the mate of your sex partner.
The other would be for both you and your wife to decide to divorce and the woman and her husband divorce and then you and her are free to marry, as long as your wife welfare is considered and she would not be without a home or income.
Third would be that your wife gives you permission to have a lover on the side but doesnt wish for one herself. Then you find a single lady for a lover.
And fourth, if in talking to this womans husband, he is okay with her having you for a lover on the side, then both couples remain married and you and her can have a relationship without any feelings of guilt.
Most humans however are jealous and possessive so likely neither of the scenerios will work for you.
I am from Bangladesh.I am 14.I belong to a broken family.I lost my mother in 2006.My father remarried.Since then I had been the victim of many tortures and injustices.But I had been extraordinary
in my studies as well in music and sports.But they were never satisfied.Recently I had been the victim of some inhuman tortures to my father on some false claims.My freedom is taken away.I am isolated from my friends.I am locked up in my room.I feel really sad,depressed and lonely and helpless.Yesterday was my birthday but wished me! I had been the victim of both physical and mental tortures.Now I feel like dying.What should I do? Should I kill myself?Or what?How do I pacify myself?
Physical and mental abuse of another human is not acceptable,like them no matter what country in the world people live in and no matter what a person supposedly did that the abuser is using as an excuse saying they deserved it. Even criminals convicted of crimes are not abused, they are sent to prison.
Since you are under age to be legally on your own, you will need help from some agencys that protect children and females from abuse. I assume there must be something like that in your country. In the U.S. we have Child Protective Services, and they will remove a child from a home where they are being abused but they have to have some proof before they can do so.
Are you locked in your room, all day and all night, never allowed to leave? What about school? Are you allowed to go to school? If so, then you must speak to school authorities about your problems at home. Nothing is worth giving up and dying over. I am sorry to hear about your situation. Parents sometimes are immature souls who are doing a terrible job of learning and improving in their current lifetime and that is hard on children. Some times, in some ways a child is more stable and mature and loving than their own parents. Don't let their treatment of you make you decide to cut your life short for then the world will be robbed of a sweet person who may have made wonderful differences in the lives of those they meet once they are adult.
Find a way to ask for help. If you have computer access to write here, then try to use the computer to search for help agencies also in your city and country who are better equipped to help you and know the laws of the area.
Best wishes for you dear.
it's a question from my friend. she has a 'MASSIVE MASSIVE CRUSH' on a guy........she never liked any guy like this before...... he is not that handsome or exotic etc etc............... but he is very fine gentle man, who knows his moral values............ he is smart and an achiever.............. he goes to a different school and lives far away.......she met him twice and saw him thrice......... my friend approached him through his cell phone.............. and found out that he is not interest in her or any other girl 'AT ALL' he wants to focus on life ,, studies career and his public speaking talent (now that's a nerdy thought)she didn't mention her feelings to him but she still sensed the attitude........ .............. she is still stupid enough to like him the same way................. she doesn't even know the reason behind this 'true love'(that's what she calls it) herself.............. i told her to stop liking him.................. but her answer shuts my mouth, which is "I can't control my feelings" ....................... she is in big big need.......... how to stop this crush?? (is my side of the question) and how to get him?? (is her side of the question)............ your advice is badly needed. detailed answer would be appreciated. i am waiting anxiously.......
It is true that she can not help but feel what she feels and currently is unable to do anything to stop that. The reason: our emotions and feelings come from our subconscious minds. Think of a sad movie you saw that made you cry. Your conscious mind knows those are just actors and not real people but the sadness of the situation makes you cry and you can't stop for a while because the emotions of the subconscious mind is like a run-away train with no working brakes. Very few of us learn how to work with our subconscious minds where our inner child also resides. And that child can get carried away over something much like a real child.
So there is nothing you can do to help her except to be her friend and console her when she learns her lessons the hard way by being burned by fire, being crushed and hurt.
How to stop the crush and move on will not work for her until she is ready. Basically, she will need to give herself pep talks, talk to her subconscious as if it were another person and tell it why it was not a good situation.
I will post a you tube video link for how to get over emotional hurt from a break up, even though she was never in relationship with him. If she is willing to do it over and over until it works, then she can heal but not otherwise.
The lesson to learn here is that no one can force another person to be attracted to them, like them, or love them. People are attracted to someone they like for certain reasons, maybe their laugh, sense of humor. What is it about you that attracted her to you as a girlfriend for like them example. With boy/girl relationships, the only diffelike them like them rence is the added sexual compatibility. One handsome guy can make your heart start pounding just by looking at him and another one does not. This is something humans have no control over. Either the sexual chemistry is there, whether you're having sex or not, or it isn't. It like in cooking how some things go together and others dont mix like oil and water.
My opinion of the guy is that he is quite smart to want to focus on studies while still in school. There is no rush to get into a relationship as some people seem to think. I told all my daughters in high school to watch the girls who went from dating one guy to the next and find out what it did to their grades. All 3 discovered it would interfere with the girls ability to get good grades. I told them therefore not to go looking for a boyfriend. But if they happened to accidently meet and fall for one, to let me know so I could help support them through it, especially if it got to the point of wanting to become sexual.
If he is quite determined to stay the path he's chosen, then her pestering him will become like a pesky mosquito buzzing around your face. You finally get pissed off enough at the mosquito and try to slap it. There's a possibility he may lash out at her with hurtful words to get her to stop bugging him.
So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months. We didn't do the normal dating thing like most people.
We immediately hit it off almost like love at first sight (which I never believed in before him). We spent almost every single day together and both went out of our way to see the other.
About month 2 I lost my virginity to him at 18.
Half way through month 3 we moved in together to a beautiful apartment in a luxury complex after saving up (we both worked full time).
We've been living together ever since and I think we're both happier then ever before.
However I lost my job a month ago after being laid off. Ever since I've been searching every day for hours and hours for a new job. Luckily my father saved up about 3k for me and so I had that to fall on.
From there things got kind of complicated for me.
When I got the $3,000 my boyfriend was too happy about it. I told him I was getting a new phone but I traded in my old phone so I got my new phone for FREE. But then he wanted a new phone too. The problem is once he got a new phone the cost added up because he chose a $300 phone, the deductible was $100 and he chose a $100 worth of accessories ($500).I paid for all of it with the savings money to make him happy.
From there he kept wanting to do things that cost money and I paid a few bills with it and less then two weeks later we're down to $1600. I still have to pay rent which is $754.
We do have his income too but I feel like now he just wants to use all of my money from my Dad and that we're going to wind up not having any left. Then again though I've always been very paranoid about my money because I didn't have much as a kid. Before I had the savings money he paid for my car payment ($315) and my car insurance ($160) as well as more than half the rent ($400 since the full rent is $754) and groceries ($150) so I feel like I don't have a right to ask him to not use my money and he still plans on paying for my car payment and whatever else I can't pay until I get a job.
We're also having problems in bed or I should say I am. When we wants to have sex it's all about him. We've been having sex for months now and it still hurts every time for me. I've yet to have an orgasm but he always gets off. I'm starting to feel like it's my problem because most of the time I don't enjoy it at all and I don't know why. We've tried different positions and that didn't really help for me. He refuses to buy lube for me because he doesn't think that's the problem.
Other than those two things he's really the sweetest and most attractive guy I've been with. He's been very patient with me not having a job even though he works 50+ hours and very considerate of everything else. He does a lot to try and make me happy (like spontaneous day trips and going out to eat to nice places).
He's always telling me he wants to marry me and calling me his "wife" and sends me sweet little messages all day long like "you're my whole world." or "I love you more than anything, I will never leave you baby
Always listen to your inner voice, that gut instinct that tells you something is not quite right. I married at 20. That was too young because I did not have enough life experience with relationships yet to know better that the guy I was marrying was a big mistake in more ways than one.
So you feel you're too young to marry, then don't marry yet. What comes first is you.
Before marriage, focus on yourself, at 18, you haven't had a chance to live much, outside of school, and discover new things about yourself, that you like, and also to grow and mature more.
Part of it is not your fault...the frontal parts of the brain which are responsible for making good decisions, aren't fully developed until our mid twenties, maybe a year or two earlier. So if only for that one reason, it's a good idea to wait. Nothing wrong in just living together for all that time. Although as you mature, you may come to a more firm conviction, that he is the right one or definitely not the right one.
As for the sex department....it's a life long learning experience, theres always something new to experience, so at 18, the our two of you really know very little yet compared to what you'll know at 25 or 30. Pain can be for several different reasons. You could be smaller in circumferance than him or he could be longer than the length of your vagina. We do produce some natural body lube but for the most part, it is never enough. If he is forcing himselff in with no use of lube, that can put fine tears in your delicate skin and cause you pain.
As for not having orgasms, I never had any with my ex. Not until my 40s did I have any with a guy.
Two reasons exist for a woman to not have orgasms with her man. Anyone can have sex, but it takes more than just the act for a female to experience enough excitement and passion to be able to come to orgasm. It takes a special kind of sexual chemistry which i lacked with first husbanlad. Had no idea it wasnt there as I married without having ever had sex with him, church beliefs. I teach my daughters otherwise. Test drive the man before you marry him. LOL
So since you're living with him, this is a good opportunity to figure out if its lack of that spark or strong enough spark or chemistry OR if it's his technique and both your and his lack of knowledge on how a woman has a clitoral, g spot or A spot orgasm. I will post a link to a med schools 2 short videos that I found very helpful. You can then search for you tube videos on g spot orgasms once you both know where the spot is and proceed to work on it. Clit orgasm is a more localized one where the G and A spots is full body orgasms where the females whole body can be thrashing about, and her face and chest can flush beet red, etc... If you have more questions, just write to my column dear. If your guy isn't willing to admit theres room to learn and says he already knows everything and won't study this with you, then in that one area, he's an immature and selfish person, even if he does fine elsewhere. He then needs to grow up and mature. If by age 25 he still doesnt improve or want to learn to improve, then its time to let him go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVL_GudwAOI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnEJ6bcVFsI&list=TLoW5IytjE5Qs
Ok so I'm a 16 year old female. I started puberty 5 years ago and my period was always messed up. I never knew when I'd start. But I haven't started my period in what it feels like months. I'm a virgin so idk what could be wrong
For usually the first two years upon coming into puberty and having a period, its very normal to be unpredictable, long, short, heavy light, etc... But I haven't heard of it continueing after 5 years like that. If you have no pain, likely there's no problem but the best thing to do would be to talk to mom and let her know if she doesnt. Find out if she had the same issues as a teen, perhaps it runs in the family. If she is also concerned, then it is best to go see a gynecologist. If your family doesnt have medical insurance, I am betting you can get the same exam to rule out any possible serious issues, by visiting a planned parenthood clinic or the equivalent type of clinic near you. They do a lot more than hand out birth control.
The halloween's day is around the corner,have you prepare your horrific decorations?
Yes, they aren't horrifying, but I have finished decorating. Have you?
aparently i can tell them apart and everytime i bring Neil Diamond up everybody either mistakes or compares him to Neil Young which i think is retarded as for me i compare him more to Paul Simon why do some people i know not understand Neil Diamonds and Paul Simons similarity
Neil Diamond is a contempory singer/songwriter. Other than sharing the same first name with Neil Young, they are two very different artists. It could be that peoples brains register the first name but aren't listening to hear the 2nd name and they assume the artist being spoken about is the one that they personally are most into.
As for the similarities between Paul and Neil, not sure what similarities you are talking about but you may get a kick out of this article about one being mistaken for the other. Unless people believe their voices or type of music is similar, perhaps its the fact they both have a Jewish background and the names are similar, both first names ending in L and Simon and Diamond almost rhyme except for the last D.
Never let other peoples opinions or their misconceptions spoil your day. It's not something to get all worked up over. Lots of people make silly errors like that all the time, its' called, getting your mouth in gear before you get your brain in gear....or the person pretends to know what they are talking about because deep inside, they are a 'know-it-all' wanna-be.
Thank u so much.your advice really help me to make my decision.yes you are right. I am from India.and In India women treats like a playthings of man.and here,womans virginity gave much more importants than her nature.My boyfriend love me but when he finds that i am not a virgin and i lied to him,he can't accept me with my past. I KNOW THAT I MADE A BIG MISTAKE TO LIED HIM.but that time i feel very ashamed and shy to tell all the stuffs of my past.my ex boyfriend is just like a beast. He tortured me a lot for money.he abused me mentally and physically when i just 15years old.so i broke with him.and after that i met my current boyfriend.he is orthodox by nature though he is a nice guy.but after knowing my past he behave in negative way.i say sorry more than 100times.but everyday he makes issues with my past. He also had a relation with a girl.but she cheats on him.i don't cheats on him.I love him truly,deeply. But he things that i also cheat on him. I hide my past for sake of my love and my relation. IS this cheating ? To hide my past ?i know its a big mistake but he can't understand my point why did i hide it from him. HE said that he became dirty by his body to have sex with me.because i am not a virgin!! This types of words hurts me a lot. I tell him that then leave me if you can't accept me.but he don't wanna leave me.
YOu are welcome.
As to his
saying you are cheating by having a past with another guy, whether he knows or not, he is very mistaken.
Cheating is only possible when you have already made some kind of commitment to a person, and you did not have a relationship with him at the time you knew the other guy.
Keeping the truth from him was wrong but he is also wrong if he thinks he can have a good relationship with you and never forgive you and punish you for the rest of your life for that.
As for his claim you made him dirty, he had sex too before meeting you so if having sex makes a person dirty, then he was dirty too. He idea's are silly and make no sense. There was no contamination such as being exposed to and catching a disease from the other...so no he was not made dirty...it's all imagined in his head.
He doesn't have to leave you, you just leave him.
You tell him it is over. If you have no where to go and it's his place, then you may have to find a place to live and a job before you leave but it will be worth it.
ok i know its frowned upon to ask the same question more than once but id like some more opinions on this and didnt know how else to do so.
hi, so im a girl but I want the male perspective on this. I have been thinking quite alot about his recently. Im going to present a scenario to you and please just say what you think. please read it thoroughly before answering. if u dont understand what i mean by something its because im leaving it to your interpretation and imagination.
Scenario: You meet a girl, somewhere... maybe your out walking your dog in the park or they live in the room next to you at uni, or in the apartment down the hall and you meet in the laundry room. I don't know, use your imagination. either way, you meet and you like this girl quite a lot. she may not be the stereotypical "attractive" girl but shes your age, kinda cute, very very sweet and kind of..."interesting". You begin spending time with her and begin dating. a couple of months goes by and you dont necessarily ask her right out to make it official but shes told you she loves you and you have said the same. you have NOT slept together at this point but you have kissed, cuddled, spent lots of time together etc. you decide that you are ready to finally have sex with her. as you try to seduce her she will kiss you and let you hold her, cuddle and make out with you but as soon as you try to get your hands under her clothes, even under her shirt to touch her stomach she stops you. after a few instances of this you ask her why and she says" i love you, everything about you and the little things you do that make me better. but i can't... i just can't." as time goes on this continues and you're realizing that she is down with cuddling, kissing, hanging out, etc and really likes sleeping in your bed with you ( in her pjs.) but there is no way she is, or will seemingly ever be comfortable with... yes boys... sex. you can have everything but( by the way sex in this instance includes all forms of sexual activity. intercourse, outercourse, anal, oral hand jobs, and the like.) the only issue is, you`ve fallen hard for this girl... other than her severe paranoia of sex, she is everything you could've ever dreamed of. would you stay with her? or would you leave? how would you talk to her about it? what would you say? etc etc.
Hi there, I am an older female. I know you wanted the male perspective but I was curious so I read your story. I thought I might give you my impressions since I prefer men over women for friends and men seem to be comfortable with me as I've been told I think alot like a man. So based on that, I will go ahead and share. If you'd rather not read anything a female has to say...you can stop now.
Sticking strictly with your questions, on how would you talk to her about it? what would you say?
If the person I was with said to me, But I can't...I just can't" and didn't proceed to clarify why, I would ask, especially the first time she says it. The first thought that might occur to me was that perhaps up to that point she was interested in sex but that she was totally unprepared, not on birth control and not wanting to trust on condoms solely. So I would have asked the first time, I would not have been upset or angry, just wanting to truly know what the case was. I tend to be a person who likes to help and encourage people. So I would naturally ask. If she told me nothing, no explanation...I would respect that. Maybe she was in a bad mood, had a bad day. However, I am a very sexual creature with a high libido. So after a couple of times of finding her not willing to be sexual, I would have brought up the conversation. Here's what I would say, and I would recommend that any person who is in a relationship where they are sexually mismatched, say something like this. "Hon, I know you honestly love me, I love you too. But since I have a sex drive, one of the biggest ways for me to express that love is through lovemaking, kisses and cuddles show affection, yes, and are part of lovemaking but it is not enough for me. For me to ask you to change to please me or me to change who I am to match you is not right. No one should ever change who they are. Being someone you are not, doing things you are not willing to do will ultimately affect a person emotionally, if they tried...bringing on stress, depression or slowly build resentment towards their partner, even if they were willing initially with the arrangement. Or the person for whom a partner changed, slowly discovers they are losing respect for their mate because, even though they have their company, the mate is not totally real, not totally theirself, not totally expressing themselves so subconsciously, you start to lose respect for the other. I don't want to get messed up with that. So although this hurts me and will hurt you too, I cannot stay. I must leave you.
Not all people would be so understanding. I am sure there could be men who do name calling, "Frigid", "You're nothing but a big tease" etc...
Or those not into drama or theatrics would silently get up, leave and never talk it out with you. Is it possible for someone like you (if you choose to never face and overcome your paranoia) to be able to find a man to love you for life? Yes, but the pickings are slim, because you'd have to find a man who is Asexual.
In case you are not familiar with what an Asexual is, heres what Wikipedia has to say:
Asexuality (or nonsexuality) is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the four variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1%.
So, Asexuals are not incapable of sex or falling in love. Asexuality is often the lack of sexual attraction rather than sex drive or emotional attraction. As such, asexuals who are more indifferent to sex rather than actively averse to it may be quite capable of sex and masturbation (though this is not usually directed at any object of desire) if they need to. Asexuals in romantic relationships with sexual individuals, for example, may have no problem having intercourse with their partners for the sake of said relationship even if the act itself may not have the same significance or appeal as it would to sexual individuals. Unlike the aforementioned fully sexual individuals, asexuals do not actively desire said sexual actions and will not miss said acts at all if denied to them.
So hon, if you can find yourself a man who is one of the Asexuals who is really adverse to having sex, and that person can love you, then you will have the perfect match. Remember, wiki reports its only 1% of people. So if its really important to you to find a partner, to greaten your odds, you may have to resort to on line dating where you go specifically to sites designed for people who are asexual. If you put in a web search "dating for asexuals" you'll get plenty choices. Here's one such site
www.asexualdatingsite.com
Good luck dear.
14/F. OK, So I have liked this guy for a few weeks now, (we are in Marching band together, he in band, I in Color Guard)and my friends (who are in band with us, so they have seen us around each other A LOT) have been telling me they think he likes me back, and that we seem to be In love. I'm slowly starting to believe he likes me back. So we had a competition yesterday(We didn't get to ride together on the bus) then guard had to separate from band to do warm ups. Then we performed and had to go back to the buses and change into a polo and jeans. I did that, and I was kind of upset cause I missed a family member who passes away a few years ago. He saw me cry and kept looking at me, out of concern (two of my friends where comforting me at dinner away from the group) my friend (who was one of the friends comforting me, 'K')said he seemed concerned more than a friend normally would. We all went to the stands to watch other groups, he sat next to me. My friend (another guy band freshman 'J') wanted to braid my hair but I said maybe later (I then put my hair in pigtails) 'J' kept touching my hair in a teasing way, causing me to squeak/giggle, and then I felt my crush do the same to me a few times and played it off like he didn't do it. He and I were sitting VERY close together, (so we could hear each other over the band, and some other reason maybe? idk) and we were laughing and talking and sharing music. I got the feeling he really enjoyed my company. Then I had to get up and run with someone to the bathroom before awards (we have a strict buddy-system policy) and when I got back 'J' was in my spot, knowing it would piss me off. I tried getting him out of my spot and my crush started to help me, then he told me to quickly get in the spot on the other side of him. I did. Then again we where sitting very close. It got cold, (he did this to one of our friends, so I asked him in an ok way)and asked him if I could have a hug. He did so right away. I don't remember if this happened before or after that hug but 'K' told me that when he put his jacket on, he did the cliché, "yawn" arm thing, and almost put his arm around me, but chickened out or something. I don't remember why he did this, but he hugged me with his right arm, and started rubbing circles on my back and then out his arm back to his side. I leaned on him a few times. Right before awards he was kind of leaning into my space, and his fingers tapped on my knees softly. When we go ton the bus he was sitting with one of my friends in the band (a senior, 'E') and I was texting 'E' and randomly my crush asks me during texts saying "Exactly, so who do you have a crush on but are to afraid to ask out?" and I find out he forced it out of a friend. But he doesn't know it's him (Thankfully!) and started pestering me about it, my friend 'K' who was sitting in front of him started scolding him for pestering me. Later she told me: I asked him why he wanted to know so badly and he said "Cause I li-" but cut himself off. Also that at practices he's usually really focused as talking to everyone, but when guard comes down to the field (including me) he becomes awkward and less focused and stares at me, and that he stares at me all the time. and he likes when I squeak high-pitched (I do that when I'm scared)and has tickled me, squeezed my waist etc.(all appropriate. also I've started noticing he stares, and band members have come up to me an asked if I like him because we both seem to like each other) Does he like me?! and when we got back to our school he was kind of teasing/possibly-flirting with me. Does it sound like he likes me?! are what my friend's say true? Does it sound like he likes me? (btw both of us are freshman) Please help, and should I try to, do something about it, my friend gave me to the middle of winter season to do something about it, or she'll take matters into her own hands. (Keep in mind he is not a very touchy person.)
He may not know it but he's giving 100% of all the body language that says a person is attracted to someone and likes them. At his age, I'd venture to guess that this is his very first serious crush and so he's quite scared. Scared more about not having any past experience and not knowing what to do. Poor thing, he's crazy about you and has the crap scared out of him, thats why he's so awkward and denies it because if he said it was true, he knows his friends would start playing match maker and pressuring him to approach you.
Also about the fake yawn arm thing, He knows that since he hasn't actually confessed he likes you that it would have been awkward to actually put his arm around you like a dating couple does. All the other touching or contact with you can be played off as just teasing and horsing around.
So, yes...you will have to be the brave one and bring up the subject of whether you both like each other or not. I am attaching a link to article about body language when people are attracted to each other.
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/relationship-advice/read_romantic_body_language.shtml
Hello :} im sorry if this is long. okay so there is this guy(His name is Andre, one of my guy friends knows him...) and this all started when i read a love story and i pictured what the guy and the girl in the story would look like. so i went to school the next day and i noticed the guy in my dream looked just like Andre and ever since then i see him everywhere. at my locker, in the halls, passing classes in the line for the bus, on the bus EVERYWHERE(at my school the girls and guys have to split the gym and he's on the boys side and when the guys had to share the gym with the girls in groups...i was in his group)so i notice that whenever im on the bus and im talking to my friends in the corner of my eye i can see him look my way(im not sure if he's looking at me though :/ )and when i was coming out of the change room i saw him and his friend outside of my change room(which is weird because his is on the other side of the gym closer to the door)and he was looking at me and smiling. since i didnt know if he was smiling at me or if he was smiling and looked at me i just looked away. And i went to a restaurant and got a fortune cookie and it said "a distant romance will look more promising"....ya i kind of got freaked out. and i also went to this physic(i was at niagara falls and it looked interesting....dont judge)and asked her about my love life. she said that i have feelings for someone but i will become more open about it and soon tell them out of guilt...now i dont know what to do.(i saw him twice today by the way) AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO... PLEASE HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO
-Lucy
P.s sorry if this was long :/
No judging honey. All of us have some abilities like a psychic, just buried. Some are quacks but many are for real. So first, don't feel guilty for believing in that. But always go with your gut feeling.
I find it really interesting that even though your conscious mind did not initially notice him, your subconscious mind did. Thats why when you imagined the characters in a love story, the imagined guy looked like the real guy. If I were you, it would kill me to not ever find out if there was a special reason why my subconscious mind took notice of him before I was really aware. If you don't find the guts to start conversation with him, you may never find out and go through your entire life wondering about the what if's.
I can give you a bit confidence, that there is an actual attraction there on his part. Whether that attraction gets a chance to develop to really liking you depends on if the two of you do more than just stare and smile at each other.
Our bodys give off signals, body language when we are attracted to, interested in getting to know a person. One is the staring at and smiling at. And no, once maybe it could have been someone else he was looking at, but you have way too many incidences where you picked up on it. A good test would be to find a chance to stand really near him and see if he stays put or steps back away from you a bit. When ever a person is approached by someone who is close enough to be arms length away, it is an exciting welcoming feeling if it is someone you like and if its someone you're not interested in, your mind doesnt have to consciously think about it, you automatically step backwards to create more space between you and the unwanted person.
I am attaching an article about body language.
You might try first to stare at him alot in return instead of looking away...meeting his eyes. He may be waiting for some encouraging sign that you might be interested if he approached you. So you can simply smile and say Hi Andre when you see him next. Or if braver, pause a moment and say something like, "You always have such a friendly smile on your face." If he doesn't take that as a hint to start talking to you, I'd keep staring at him for another day or two. Then approach him and say something like, "I'm sorry. I want to apologize." See what his reaction is as you hesitate. then add, "I've been staring at you and I've been taught that it is rude to stare but I couldn't help it. I really want to get to know you but didn't know how to approach you." I am sure at that point he'll be glad to talk to you and plan times to see you at school, become your friend and go on from there.
Let me know how it works out, okay?
Blessings to you dear.
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 YEARS, he cannot get over my sexual past. I've lied and kept things from him to avoid hurting him and making him feel worse, but it just made everything worse. Now he doesn't trust me. Whenever I tell him something he always questions it. He asks me if I'm telling him the truth. I'm not going to lie to him or keep anything from him anymore because I see that it just hurts him worse than the truth could. I know that lying is wrong and it's bad, but I didn't have malicious intentions. I feel horrible that I've made him lose his trust for me. I'm trying quite hard to gain it back. But anyways, everyday he drills me with questions about my past. It's starting to really upset me. It hurts to talk about my past because I'm so very ashamed of what I did and I'm very regretful, but I talk about it for him. It's starting to upset me because that's all we really talk about lately. We aren't the same couple we used to be and I miss that. Now we fight and argue and I don't want to lose him. I can't. I love him so much and I know that he loves me too. I could never break up with him, he's too special in my heart to do that. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want him to feel upset, extremely sad, angry, jealous, hurt, and inferior anymore. He's the absolute best of them all, that's a fact. So how can I or we fix his problems? ACTUALLY, I had a relation with a guy who used to tortured me a lot mentally and physically and i loosed my virginity with him,he forced me to do that, its just 1 time. then i broke the relationship. after a year i met with my current boyfriend in online.afer somedays he proposed me and i agreed. but i lied to him about my some information ,and my past ,that i don't had my relation in my past and i am virgin. because i afraid to lose him,because he is a nice guy and also very conservative.all was good i revealed other wrong info about my life and he okey with that, but i don't tell him about my past.2 month ago ,he noticed my facebook accout and saw some open wall conversation with my ex boyfriend. but this total conversation was more than 3years earlier when i am in my past relation. so after seeing this my current boyfriend call a guy(my ex's friend) and know all the details and also some wrong details. he told that i had a abortion but it is a big lie!!! but my boyfriend can't trust me anymore. i try to regain his trust but he always doubt me. and that guy some time called him and tell nonsense things about me. but this is not true.i love my boyfriend very much.and he think that i used him , and he feel he gets dirty to do sex with me. we'hv do it 2times.and called me sl*t. i feel terrible with all this matter, and feel very guilty.SOME time he wants to break the relation but i don't want to do that . PLEASE suggest me. I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND AND WANT TO MARRY HIM. I AM TOTALLY LOYAL WITH HIM. he can't accept my past. his problem is not that i lied him but his actual problem is i am not a virgin, he want a virgin girl to marry.
I agree with all that light of truth said.
I think perhaps you live in a country where females don't have the same rights as in the U.S. You have bought into and believed what you have been told that there is a reason to feel ashamed for having sex before marriage. Virginity is an old fashioned concept created by men for men back in a time when we didn't have the medical knowledge to be able to test to see who the father of a child was. Fathers were able to sell virgin daughters for a higher price because the man marrying felt assured that any children would be his, not someone elses from a previous lover so his inheritances would not pass down to a bastard child, a child that was not his own blood. If virginity means that a female has never had anything enter her vagina, then what if she uses a tampon for her period, her monthly flow, is she no longer a virgin, or two females having sex, neither one has a penis so are they life long virgin even though they are having sex with each other? See...the concept of virginity is warped. And there is no way to tell is a man is a virgin. There is no importance on whether he is a virgin or not. Why? Because he can't get pregnant.
This is nothing but a dominance of men over females regarding their sexuality and they reproductive rights. Guy #1 was a loser. I am amazed that you had the personal willpower to leave him because guy #2 is not much of an improvement. I think that this may be your test.
Do you love yourself enough to not allow yourself to be subjected to any of this kind of treatment...even in a lesser degree. Its wrong, even if he treats you bad occasionally. It should not occur AT ALL!!! If you are unable to leave him, you will continue to suffer this kind of life to your dying day, or until the day you wake up and realize that life is short and should be spent being loved and loving others. And you may have feelings attached to him. We all do when we have had sexual relations with a man...those feelings develop. I know this all because my first marriage was abusive. I stayed for 30 yrs before I left. I wish I had woke up earlier. I hope you do not repeat what I did. I hope you leave him now.
I have a septate hymen and am getting it removed in December right in his office. The doctor said he would do it under local anesthetics and it would be a quick prodecure. can anyone tell me what happens during the procedure? how many shots it takes to numb? how long will it take? and will it hurt?
I had never heard of it....so being a naturally curious sort and always wanting to learn something new...i looked it up and hears some comments from gals who had to have it done.
Apparently it's quick...one quoted 15 min Dr appt. and all said it was painless. In fact they felt lots of pain trying to use a tampon but non with the procedure and all were glad they had it done.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Womens-Health/Septate-hymen-surgery/show/928605#comments_header
Well, idk where to start but for a long time I've had this kind of memory of my dad taking me to the toilet when I was 2/3 and was only just really getting used to going by myself and i just remember him sitting me down on it and telling me to keep my legs open, i can't remember if I actually needed to use the toilet but I remember it was uncomfortable sitting like that...
I'm 21 now and still remember this but I don't know if I've made it up and if I haven't I don't really know if it counts as any kind of violation. I've remembered this image for a long time though, and it's only like 3 seconds long but it always jumps into my head at random times :s
So I don't know what to think about it to be honest.
Well, either that was all there was too it and he had a fetish for watching females pee and/or got a sexual excitement out of it. Or, you mentally blocked out what happened after that.
Children have coping mechanisms built in to naturally block out and suppress anything that was uncomfortable, scary or abusive to them when little.
This is to enable them time to grow up and become adult when they can learn how to deal with the subconscious minds issues with it and get emotional healing.
There really is no way to know if something occurred other than the "emotional issues" that suddenly arise out of no where once an adult. While stress and a current time trauma may help dig up suppressed emotions of it, usually from what I've read, (i'm no expert just repeating what I've seen) physical or sexual abuse comes out in many ways, developing depression, self hatred, illegal drug use, becoming alcoholic, displaying abusive behavior toward others, constant nightmares, short tempered and verbally abusive, and under sexual abuse a couple of specific, either females are sexually inhibited, afraid of anything sexual, afraid of men, unable to have a normal relationship with a guy, or she became sexually active at a younger age than her peers, is very highly and actively sexual and has a desire for females as well as one man, their boyfriend/husband (bi-sexual) or she has become lesbian because she justs feels safer.
If you are not suffering any symptoms at this current time likely nothing traumatic ever happening other than him just watching you pee.
At your age, since you were just starting to use the potty by yourself, mom possibly made sure to tell him to watch to be sure that you did indeed pee so there'd be no problems with peeing in your panties later. At this stage with my daughters, I made sure to watch them use the bathroom to be sure they did pee.
Hi,
A few weeks ago we adopted a puppy and had him for 2 days before he passed away. He apparently wasn't doing well in the shelter either, but we thought it was just because he was afraid of the loud noises. By the second night, he was in critical condition and we made the decision to euthanize him since the vet said that the chances of him surviving was less than 50% chance and she couldn't promise us that he would even wake up even if they had pulled off a successive treatment and even if they did all they could to save his life. My girlfriend's mother called to try to get us our money back because our vet bill ended up to $600. She spoke to the office manager and the office manager said that they shouldn't have charged us for both euthanization and cpr, only either or, so we got our refund for putting him down, but our problem is that we were okay with them charging us for putting him down because it was our decision. However it was not our decision to give him CPR because by the end of the conversation with the vet technician it didn't seem like it would be worth trying to save his life. What can we do to get our money back? I'm really upset because they didn't inform us about what they were doing to him or ask for our consent. All they said when he handed him to the vet was that "They were doing what they can for him right now", which wasn't very specific and by the end of the night they charged us for CPR that we didn't give consent to..
I agree with Rahzie. Just ask to be charged for the other part instead, especially if its the lesser cost. One problem I see here is that you and ? (the other part of "we") were not the ones talking to the vet about "Your" issues, you had a girlfriends mother calling them? So I am guessing that the other half of "We" is either a girlfriend room mate, your boyfriend, husband, or a parent or sibling. Between the two of you, one should have been able to discuss things with the vet and get some really straight and clear answers. In situations involving money, and a service you initiated, its best to get the advice from someone else but handle it yourself, speaking directly to the vet.
When it involves critical care for a pet taken to a vet, the vet must make sure they have explained all possible scenerios and what does the owner want done just in case.
You mentioned a conversation that seems to have occured before treatment at the time you took the puppy in to the vet regarding CPR and you said,
" However it was not our decision to give him CPR because by the end of the conversation with the vet technician it didn't seem like it would be worth trying to save his life." How clear were you with the vet tech. or them with you. Did you have any questions in your mind. Did you just think that it wasn't worth it, and say something like, "Well, it doesn't sound like it's worth giving the dog CPR." That is not a clear enough instruction. It is more of a comment sounding like an indecision. I wasn't there. I do not have a recording of every word said, but I am willing to bet that on both sides there was possibly failure to make oneself clear and I am willing to bet that instead of asking enough questions, that lots of assumptions were made on both sides, you and the vet tech. Try to learn from this to be very clear about what your wishes are.
I know what I am talking about because we had an older small poodle about 12 yrs old, we took her to the vet when on the morning of 3rd day she still had severe vomiting and diarrhea. We had no idea if she got into something poison in the neighborhood or if something internally was malfunctioning. Due to the age of the dog and us having very little income, we told the vet that we wanted to be informed what they find on some preliminary tests which would be the usual blood samples, urine/poop, but to not proceed with any life saving measures unless they spoke to us first and we had the cost because we had a limit to available fund to pay and they'd have to be told them that if something critical happened while she was in their care, like she stopped breathing, that they were to let her go, because the cost of CPR as they spelled out was already the max. of what money we had so any other things like the charge for the stay, IV fluids for being dehydrated, and medications we would be unable to pay for. We made sure to explain exactly how much we had in checking and what room left on a charge card...and that was it. She'd had a long happy life so if she died while they were doing preliminary testing, then so be it. If those tests didnt show up anything and they needed to do xrays or scans or something, we definitely could not afford that so we wanted them to contact us with every thing they discovered and we told them also not to put her to sleep until they had spoken to us on the phone. By leaving her there, we were only giving them permission to put her on IV and do some tests. Anything else had to be run by us. It turns out it was something poison she got into, like food poisoning and with some meds she was released to us and recovered.
I've benne having bad acne since I was 9 yrs old. The doctors told me I have bad acne, but none of them medication they give me works. Or my insurance won't pay for it. I've tried everything in the stores. I can't get accutane. I've been getting made fun of because my acne is bad. The pimples are huge and painful and they leave dark scars that look ugly. They bleed too. I've tried Pro active, clinique, neutrogena and everything. This acne makes me self conscious and asha,ed to talk to people and kids make fun of me
My acne looks something gets like this: http://www.charak.com/images_up/photos/35_27_sym.jpg
I looked up an article on cystic acne. Heres the link to what I read.
http://www.cysticacne.net/
A snippet from the article:
Along with hormones, diet, and bacteria, stress has been attributed to acne breakouts. It is believed that stress causes the immune system to become weakened, making the body more vulnerable to breakouts and flare-ups. It is not sure, however, whether stress causes acne, or if it just makes the condition worse when present.
But in the end, it mentions a holistic approach to treating the acne, holistic means using all means possible to treat all areas of the person, not just medically by Drs with medications or dermatogy treatments, but treating from the inside too, including ones diet and also the emotions...where stress would come in.
So I have no easy 1 step answer for you. I know you'll be dedicated to try anything that might remotely help. I have my own personal belief from some scientific articles I have read that the world we live in being so toxic, our bodies can't handle all the toxins in it and that causes problems with how your body is supposed to normally function, problems internally. That which we don't need is excreted through our skin and sweat glands and through bladder and intestines but toxins can build up and not be so easily gotten rid of. I believe thats why so many have skin problems today...not to the extent you have. I would suggest you read up on hidden toxins in our environment, that which we breath in, take in as nourishment or apply to our skin. A great majority of what we apply to our skin has ingredients that we cannot pronounce let alone spell and if you look it up and can discover what it is and the effects it has on the human body or has had on test animals, you'd see you have reason to watch closely what you apply to your skin. Even something labeled "natural" or "for acne" may not be good for you.
A good place to start studying and looking up info is Natural News on line:
http://www.naturalnews.com
Here is one of their articles:
http://www.naturalnews.com/036217_acne_natural_remedies_tea_tree_oil.html
After you read the next article on Accutane, you will consider yourself lucky that you can't get accutane.
http://www.naturalnews.com/028611_accutane_side_effects.html
Since a main problem is extreme amount of bacteria on the skin creating the problem, natural anti bacterials can help and have no side affects like pharmaceutical remedies.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/natural-antibiotics-to-cure-acne
Of the four listed, My top favorite is tea tree oil as a topical anti bacterial. Garlic is good too. You can find tea tree oil and many other natural remedies at health food stores, some large food chains have a natural food and natural skin care product section. Everyone is different so if one natural anti bacterial doesn't work, try another. You might add eating foods or taking supplements that act as natural anti bacterials and are good for aiding helping the skin. Check out the natural health stores in your location. Some major chains are Whole Foods, Sprouts, or check out this link to listings of natural health stores for us and canada and other places around the world.
http://www.greenpeople.org/healthfood.htm
Hope this helps you hon.
So we used to have like lots of eye contact and then recently, I feel that our eye contact has lessened and he's purposely avoiding eye contact but I also haven't really been seeing him around. Today, I went to my other acquaintance who was sitting at a table and when I went there, everyone around looked at me and after a while, because I was talking to her about matters then no one looked and he kind of looked to the left and did not look at the group at all. He did not look back at all the whole time I was there and he only looked back to the group when I left :( Does he still feel attracted to me?
Looking at a person often and staring can be one of many body language signs that a person is interested, but if thats the only sign, the interest may be kinda there but not strong enough to make him take action. He might be curious about you but not attracted enough to take steps to find out more about you by starting up conversation.
It could be that he is shy. I can think of a half dozen other possibilities but that doesnt change the fact that without more signs, there's no way to tell you that he may feel attracted to you, or ever felt attracted.
I am attaching an article about body language
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/relationship-advice/read_romantic_body_language.shtml
If a guy tries to find excuses to come stand or sit close enough that you are within arms reach if he wanted to touch you, he starts conversation with you, finds excuses to 'accidently' brush up against your arm or hand, or begins to subconsciously mimic your movements and actions, its a sure sign a guy is interested. A guy does not go out of his way to approach you, be near and try to talk to you if he is not interested.
ok im 13 and in 8th grade and I found out a guy likes me I figured it out on my own but even my friends say they can tell too im scared hes going to ask me out 1 because I don't like him that way and 2 cuz like last week me and my friend made a deal thr next guy who asks us out we have to say yes and cant break up with them until a week has passed then on facebook my best guy friend who is also friends with the guy had messaged me asking me would I ever go out with him and I said why then he said just asking then I said idk then we stopped chatting so should I forget about the deal or should I go along with the deal ?
When it comes to relationships dear, the best rule of action is to never play games with it. Someone always gets burned, or very hurt in the process.
I don't know who came up with the If he says yes, then you might want to ask if he'd also like to start hanging out with you, not just at school but away from school, times you can get to know each other without distractions of other friends around.idea first, I am guessing its your girlfriend. If your male friend is also asking if you'd go out with this other guy, either the two of them are trying to play matchmaker and trick you into going out with the guy...or the guy is genuinely interested in you. In that case, answering idk was the wrong answer to give and encourages the other guy. If you'd told your male freind that you aren't interested in the other guy as bf/gf, then you wouldn't have to worry about being asked out because the message of your non interest would have been passed on.
So to keep this clear, you don't stick with any deals made. When the guy does ask you out, you simply say I don't feel interested in you that way, like bf/gf. Thats the same reasons adult women give if not accepting a date. Its a perfectly normal reason because many nice people are just not going to be attracted to each other because of lack of chemistry,, that spark between you where you end up attracted. It's something no one has control over. If its not there, no one can make it happen. So thats a safe answer.
One last thing: Whats the difference between saying no to him at the beginning. Or seeing him for a week and then dumping him and telling him its because you made a deal with your friend to date the 1st guy who asks, whether you are attracted to him or not. And if you dont tell him that, the story will come out through your friends, and either way he will be hurt. Best is to say No up front so all he is dealing with is rejection, and not dishonesty as well.
Okay so I'm a junior girl and I'm trying to find someone decent to prom, I know its a long ways away but I don't want to have a slim picking to choose from. So he's a freshman. I don't know if I should ask him or not because we have only been talking to each other non-stop for the past 3 days. Please help! I need to know if I should ask him and if so, in a cute way.
I remember answering you last time. So he's still showing interest? I suppose that asking him to go to prom with you might be a good way to find out the depth of his interest.
The only problems I see with asking him now is:
If you ask him now and meet someone else later in the year that you fall head over heels for and would rather go to prom with, then you're in a pickle. OR
You start hanging out as B/F G/F and discover after some time that you do not like his personality after all. Will you still go to prom with him or split with him and cancel prom.
If you're not concerned about those possibilities occuring, then I'd say go ahead and ask.
As to a 'cute' way to ask, I am assuming you mean something not so direct like "Will you go Prom with me?" Maybe a poem in a note card that hints at prom by what is said. Something like:
This princess plans to go to prom
I know it's far away
I hold my breath, will you accept
And take me there that day?
Okay so I'm a junior girl in high school and there's this guy who is a freshmen and is like my best friend. We started texting each other basically all day for the past 2 days and is continuing on. I'm not saying I don't like the texts but I can't tell if he's just being really close friends or wants to be bf & gf? You know what I'm saying? anyway I guess my question in a short story would have to be what does it mean when a guy texts you all the time?
HON, I can only guess since I don't know the guy or anything about him. The only way you can find out for sure is to ask him.
You could say, "Gee, you and I have talked more these past couple days than my girlfriends and I do. So i get it, that you enjoy talking with me, I enjoy talking to you too. But i am wondering if your interest is as more than just a friend.
Or, don't ask anything and wait a while to see how things pan out in the next week or two.
you
Maybe he very much wants to learn how to talk to and understand girls so he is over eager to learn and wants to do so with someone he is attracted to. That could be why he is contacting you all day long.
I could say its NRE, new relationship energy which is like a drug, making you want more and more, even though you two are not in a relationship yet other than friends. The chatting with you to him might feel addictive...the more he gets, the more he wants. But I can't say for sure. A guy doesn't have to text anyone. If he is texting, it basically means there is an attraction. The natural thing to do is spend more time with, quality time talking and getting to know the person so you can discover if you also like the person. He's attracted. Either the attraction grows into liking you as time goes on or he will discover that you and he don't have enough in common to hold interest and he will move on to check out someone else. That how all relationships start. Then they progress from liking to falling in love.