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In love/deep crushing, but to afraid to speak up??
14/F. OK, So I have liked this guy for a few weeks now, (we are in Marching band together, he in band, I in Color Guard)and my friends (who are in band with us, so they have seen us around each other A LOT) have been telling me they think he likes me back, and that we seem to be In love. I'm slowly starting to believe he likes me back. So we had a competition yesterday(We didn't get to ride together on the bus) then guard had to separate from band to do warm ups. Then we performed and had to go back to the buses and change into a polo and jeans. I did that, and I was kind of upset cause I missed a family member who passes away a few years ago. He saw me cry and kept looking at me, out of concern (two of my friends where comforting me at dinner away from the group) my friend (who was one of the friends comforting me, 'K')said he seemed concerned more than a friend normally would. We all went to the stands to watch other groups, he sat next to me. My friend (another guy band freshman 'J') wanted to braid my hair but I said maybe later (I then put my hair in pigtails) 'J' kept touching my hair in a teasing way, causing me to squeak/giggle, and then I felt my crush do the same to me a few times and played it off like he didn't do it. He and I were sitting VERY close together, (so we could hear each other over the band, and some other reason maybe? idk) and we were laughing and talking and sharing music. I got the feeling he really enjoyed my company. Then I had to get up and run with someone to the bathroom before awards (we have a strict buddy-system policy) and when I got back 'J' was in my spot, knowing it would piss me off. I tried getting him out of my spot and my crush started to help me, then he told me to quickly get in the spot on the other side of him. I did. Then again we where sitting very close. It got cold, (he did this to one of our friends, so I asked him in an ok way)and asked him if I could have a hug. He did so right away. I don't remember if this happened before or after that hug but 'K' told me that when he put his jacket on, he did the cliché, "yawn" arm thing, and almost put his arm around me, but chickened out or something. I don't remember why he did this, but he hugged me with his right arm, and started rubbing circles on my back and then out his arm back to his side. I leaned on him a few times. Right before awards he was kind of leaning into my space, and his fingers tapped on my knees softly. When we go ton the bus he was sitting with one of my friends in the band (a senior, 'E') and I was texting 'E' and randomly my crush asks me during texts saying "Exactly, so who do you have a crush on but are to afraid to ask out?" and I find out he forced it out of a friend. But he doesn't know it's him (Thankfully!) and started pestering me about it, my friend 'K' who was sitting in front of him started scolding him for pestering me. Later she told me: I asked him why he wanted to know so badly and he said "Cause I li-" but cut himself off. Also that at practices he's usually really focused as talking to everyone, but when guard comes down to the field (including me) he becomes awkward and less focused and stares at me, and that he stares at me all the time. and he likes when I squeak high-pitched (I do that when I'm scared)and has tickled me, squeezed my waist etc.(all appropriate. also I've started noticing he stares, and band members have come up to me an asked if I like him because we both seem to like each other) Does he like me?! and when we got back to our school he was kind of teasing/possibly-flirting with me. Does it sound like he likes me?! are what my friend's say true? Does it sound like he likes me? (btw both of us are freshman) Please help, and should I try to, do something about it, my friend gave me to the middle of winter season to do something about it, or she'll take matters into her own hands. (Keep in mind he is not a very touchy person.)
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If you want the real answer, you'll need to ask him yourself. He may have lied to to your friend because he didn't feel it was any of her business, and didn't want it to be spread all over that he DOES like you before he ever had the chance to tell you himself.
At 14, guys are miserable creatures. We find ourselves bombarded by strong and scary feelings which seem to have come from nowhere, and we don't know how to deal with them, and the most terrifying thing in the world is that the object of our affections might actually find out about it. It sounds like you might be able to identify with this, because you haven't told him anything either.
I suggest you find some way to get alone with him, and then make the first move. I'm not saying you should pin him up against the wall and kiss him; just tell him that you want to be totally honest with him about something important, which is... and then speak from the heart. You don't need to tell him all your private thoughts and feelings right up front (in fact, that's a bad idea - you want to preserve some mystery, and you don't want to scare him off!); just make it clear that you do feel something for him which goes beyond friendship, that you're attracted to him, and you really need the real, honest truth from him about how he feels about you.
You'll be taking a risk. He might say that, in all honesty, he doesn't see you the same way. He might break your heart. But from what you say about him, I don't get the impression that he will be unkind or cruel, even if he has to let you down.
The upside is that maybe he'll find the courage to say that he feels the same way. And that's when the kissing part comes in. :)
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He may not know it but he's giving 100% of all the body language that says a person is attracted to someone and likes them. At his age, I'd venture to guess that this is his very first serious crush and so he's quite scared. Scared more about not having any past experience and not knowing what to do. Poor thing, he's crazy about you and has the crap scared out of him, thats why he's so awkward and denies it because if he said it was true, he knows his friends would start playing match maker and pressuring him to approach you.
Also about the fake yawn arm thing, He knows that since he hasn't actually confessed he likes you that it would have been awkward to actually put his arm around you like a dating couple does. All the other touching or contact with you can be played off as just teasing and horsing around.
So, yes...you will have to be the brave one and bring up the subject of whether you both like each other or not. I am attaching a link to article about body language when people are attracted to each other.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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It sounds like he likes you or is at least interested in you. I mean unless he's just a really friendly guy.
If your friend asked him if he liked you and said just as a friend it could be that he's too shy to admit it, he only sees you as a friend, or he just doesn't want to become more than friends with you even if he does have feelings for you.
So I think you should make a move. Or if you're brave enough, just ask him if he likes you. You can say that your friends have been bringing it up to you and you were wondering if it's true. If he says no, or only as a friend, then just accept it.
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