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affair with married women or it isnt
hi we are both married . I have feelings for her but she said no. Inspite of tis she accepts gifts from me .and I have touched her breasts and kissed on her neck .I always think of her but she never reciprocate .I always pay for dinners but she never did bring me anything.now the confusing part is she says she didn't tell anyone that she is meeting me .she let me kissed her on her lips but then got grumpy .any good aadvise will be welomed
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Basically this woman treats you like a toy. She knows that she can have you whenever she wants you. She is aware that you've got feelings for her and she uses that for her benefit. She is definitely manipulative and she doesn't love you back and she never will. As bad as it sounds you are just a sex toy to her. There's probably something wrong in her marriage but it doesn't look like she wants to leave her husband. It's up to you really and to what you want to do/have. It's your decision whether you want to be treated like this or you can do something about it, now that you know. It's really up to you. Good luck!!!
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Were you forced to marry your wife? Do you stay married in order to not bring shame on the family?
If you can answer yes to both questions, you are allowing other people to live their lives through you, not live your life for yourself and make decisions that you feel are best for yourself.
I understand why people can be attracted outside the marriage to either date for the emotional needs or have sex for unmet sexual needs. Perhaps this lady has only the need for attention and emotional needs. Either way, why are either of you still married to someone who is not right for you? We can love a person who is not right for us but that isn't a good enough reason to get married to them.
My best advice is to think of the golden rule found in all religious beliefs :
Love thy neighbor as thyself (Christianity)
What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.
This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.(Hindu)
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.(Buddhism)
The golden rule is best interpreted as saying: "Treat others only as you consent to being treated in the same situation." To apply it, you'd imagine yourself on the receiving end of the action in the exact place of the other person (which includes having the other person's likes and dislikes). If you act in a given way toward another, and yet are unwilling to be treated that way in the same circumstances, then you violate the rule.
So, based on that, how would you feel if your wife were out dating, maybe having sex with another man while married to you. If it's okay for you to do, then it should be okay for her to do. If she is being faithful to you, then how do you think it will make her feel to discover what you are doing, or for the other womans husband to discover what you and she are doing.
This very rule of how to conduct ourselves in life will answer almost all issues we come up against during our lives. So this is my advice, apply this rule to your situation.
I can see only two or 3 possibilities. Ask your wife how she feels about you sexually, are her needs all met, is she in love with you? If not, doesnt she deserve that? If divorce is not an issue due to the country you live in and the cultural rules, then the loving thing would be to be come to an agreement to have an open marriage, both allowing the other to find partner for love and sex outside the marriage who is SINGLE. They must not be married or you become part of hurting the mate of your sex partner.
The other would be for both you and your wife to decide to divorce and the woman and her husband divorce and then you and her are free to marry, as long as your wife welfare is considered and she would not be without a home or income.
Third would be that your wife gives you permission to have a lover on the side but doesnt wish for one herself. Then you find a single lady for a lover.
And fourth, if in talking to this womans husband, he is okay with her having you for a lover on the side, then both couples remain married and you and her can have a relationship without any feelings of guilt.
Most humans however are jealous and possessive so likely neither of the scenerios will work for you.
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