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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Okay so first off we're both adults, have been together a long time and live together, I'm just noting that to give some sort of perspective since there are so many young girls on this site talking about sex.

Usually my boyfriend wants to have sex every three days or so. It's been a week now and he hasn't even tried to have sex with me and I almost feel guilty and bad about it.

Last time we had sex it was bad for me because it hurt so much and he knows it. This might sound selfish or inconsiderate but it's him who's making it bad.
I'm a very petite girl (under 5FT and 78 pounds) and he's tall and fit so naturally he's "large" physically (in the obvious department). I try my hardest to please him in every way in bed and do whatever he asks me to do or at least try it.

The problem is he refuses to use lubricant because he doesn't think I should need it.
So basically he tries to fit something that's already too big for me in without enough moisture which is horrible.
I bleed almost every time and sometimes it hurts so bad I have to really try hard not to cry.

The other problem is that he gets turned on very quickly and I don't. He'll kiss my neck once and then expect me to want to have sex when I'm just not ready and of course that makes it hurt too.

The worst part is he asks me why it's bad for me like he wants to fix it and I tell him why but it just keeps going back to the same problems.

This week has been kind of weird. It seems like he's really just not trying at all or he will do something sexual and then just not continue.

What I mean is like last night I was on the couch and he grabbed my breast and then kissed my neck twice and I started kissing him back and then he just stopped and we watched a movie and then went to bed.

It's been like that all week and it's very irritating to me to the point it's making me angry. The day before yesterday he carried me to the bedroom and we started kissing and after maybe 30 seconds he asked me if I was ready and I told him not yet and then he just gave up and walked away to go play video games.

Like he's really not even trying to turn me on he just expects one boob grab to make me aroused enough to have sex.

Half of me feels horrible because I feel like he's scared now to have sex with me and I feel like it's my fault that I can't just make myself aroused in .03 seconds.

What should I do?
I feel like talking about it is going to be awkward and it's going to just make me feel worse.



As I see it, there are 3 issues here.

One being that you are small and his penis is too large. Trust me, even with lubrication, he will be too large and it will not completely make him feel happy if he can only get part way in. Most average size guys are 5-6 inches long, and there are 7-8 that are not too unusual but a female is also not long in the vagina, there are those odd exceptions in men and women who have the length of 9 inches and beyound, but they are not the norm. The female when aroused fully will gain maybe 2 inches in length because her uterus and cervix will pull back during arousal up further inside of her giving the extra room length wise but then circumferance wise he's not have to be too big either.
I consider myself petite too at 110 which is a much larger person than you. In dating, I once had a guy who was 8 inches long and that was too much for me. He was careful and we used lube and tried different positions but the tip of the penis would hit soft tissue to either side of the cervix and hit some nerves that sent painful charlie horse cramps down my legs. I froze up in instant pain that wouldnt stop until he stopped. As a result, that relationship ended. He was nice and understanding about it. He also knew how to arouse a woman so that wasnt the issue.

2. Your second issue is that your guy is totally ignorant about sexuality, sex, lovemaking, the females body and what makes it tick sexually etc. etc... To try to learn by just experience, without asking the female questions, listening to her and trying what she asks for is stupid. We all have opportunities to deal with our self studies on the subject of sex. I know of accounts where guys have learned something online by watch ing a video or two or sexuality and come back and their girl found an improvement in the expereince.

When a couple is boyfriend/girlfriend, one assumes that they are together because they have serious feelings for each other, that they truly love each other. Some people have a friends with benefits situation just to have a sex partner to take care of their sexual needs...and that is okay but even then the sex partner should care about you enjoying the experience, after all its supposed to be an enjoyable act, not a painful one, and definitely there should be no damage to the other person as in bleeding unless the both of them are into pain and bleeding and both consenting to that version of having sex.The act can be considered just sex with a friend but if the two are in love, then it becomes 'lovemaking' the most important of many ways of showing the other how much you love them but wanting to pleasure them and bring their needs first. It is a connecting of more than just your bodies but your souls and your energys also.

3. Lastly another issue that i can see is that he is selfish, only taking into consideration that which will take care of his needs first, not taking into consideration yours. Nope, he is not scared of having sex with you, he's shown he doesnt care enough, with not wanting to use lube, not taking time to arouse you, etc... He doesnt care enough to stop having sex with you out of consideration of your needs. Nope, so if his attitude hasn't changed and he is still centered on only what gratifies his sexual needs, how do you think he is getting them met? Either he isnt and the pressure is building, or he does masturbating but thats not enough so he's still frustrated, wanting totally fullfillment and satisfaction for himself, or he has found another girl to have sex with. If he hasn't yet, how long before he does. If he already has no consideration for your feelings, why is he with you. If the sex is crummy, then what does he get out of the relationship? He's there for some reason other than sex.
You need to learn more about your own body too dear cus it sure as heck is not your fault for not being aroused in a few seconds.
I hate to say it but he sounds like a total jerk. I know you must have found something in him that you like. So if you think that you two have enough going for you in other areas of the relationship, then you need to tell him that the area of sex is a serious issue and that you need his full cooperation is he still cares about you. If he doesnt he better say so now. If he says he still cares about you...then tell him there needs to be some serious changes in the sex department cus if there isn't it could seriously destroy the relationship or at least the love and respect for each other and cause one or the other or both of you to seek sexual fullfilment outside the relationship, which at that point brings into question why the heck are you together anyways.
Let me know if you want some links to good site to get started on learning about sexuality. You both have a lot to learn. I can not imagine how you could take years and years of bleeding and never being sexually fulfilled. If you could just tonight have a man show you how wonderful it could be, be lavished on, be brought to multiple orgasms and treated like a queen, then you could never go back to what you have been enduring. You'd expect him to change to become like that...which he can do, anyone can learn, or you would leave him if he was not willing and would never allow him to touch you ever again. You simply don't know that there is better. I look back and still shake my head wondering why I stayed with my ex as long as I did. The answer was simple...until I had a chance to experience something better, I had no idea what i was missing. Not only was he inexperienced but we also had no sexual chemistry, that spark of excitement between us where we desired each other. I found excuses to not have sex cus it was a chore and did nothing for me sexually and yet i had 3 kids with him. Once I left him and started dating, I was pleased to discover that many guys really cared about putting the pleasures of a female first. Then after that, I discovered I enjoyed sex better with those whom I had naturally a chemistry with, and lastly, once I was selecting those guys all the time as partners, by chance I met a guy whom I felt a spiritual/or soul connection to during sex, and after that I could not go back to anything less. Once I finally knew what I was looking for in a partner for the rest of my life, I was picky and selective but i finally found the man who loves me in all ways and I have great sex with and that soul connection to.
I wish the same for you. Hopefully he is willing to change, if not, you will have to make those hard decisions to break up, no matter the amount of time invested into him and no matter that your heart has feelings and is attached to him and will feel lots of pain with the break...in time that will heal. If he's not willing to work on it, your sex life will never heal. If anything else comes up you'd like to discuss with me, something specific, I am always willing to help. As a formerly abused wife, also sexually mismatched, this topic is near and dear to my heart. Good luck dear.

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Tinder in Argentina. I match with lots of girls but none reply back, is it broken? why would they click like if they wont chat with matches?

I'm just using "hi" (and other synonims like hello) and I don't keep sending messages if they don't reply to the first one, so nothing creepy or disgusting.

Is the app broken and doesn't send/receive messages?
or why would they push like if they wont chat with matches?
is it normal? girls just push like because they are stupid and dont know what Tinder is about?

AM I THE ONLY ONE IN MY COUNTRY THAT KNOWS WHAT THIS APP IS FOR?

I looked up Tinder to be sure but I can see that it is an internet dating site. I used to be on OKcupid and POF, where I met my current husband but both of us were older, wiser and knew what to look out for.
Younger people who have not yet figured out who they themselves are and what exactly they are looking for, are not going to have as much success.

A dating site should be looked at only as a tool, to become aware of the existance of a person who may be a match. Many young people do not seem to understand that and prefer to go for on line relationships cus it seems safer. But anything on line can be and most likely will be an illusion. So it helps to be able to know how to look through the smoke screen someone puts up. Even if used as I used it, once meeting in person the other may turn out to be nothing at all as represented on the internet. People can fake it in written messages and even in phone calls but not in person. So you will have to put up with a lot of people who are not serious but just playing at this.

Of course it helps in how you present yourself.
I have a document I have written to help guys with knowing how to make the initial contact letter to a girl online and also on how to put together their profile. If you would like me to give these to you, let me know by going to my column and then sending me a message from there asking for it, just let me know that you're the guy on Tinder and I will remember.

I have spoken to many guys on line who asked me the same questions you have. Beats me why a girl would put up a profile saying she wants to meet a guy and then not have the politeness or tactfulness to give a short answer even to say that she is not interested. I always answered about 98% of the guys who wrote me. Some were not serious about me, just saying they found me hot looking or more descriptive to the point which is not the first thing a girl wants to hear as it is a given that by a photo you found her attractive to you or you wouldn't be contacting her in the first place. But there are men who never learn and end up in their 50's lonely, hoping to date and still not having a clue what to say. Just saying Hi, how are you is not enough of a bait to catch the interest of a girl to respond. Women can get many responses from a guy. If she took the time to get to chatting with every guy who just says HI and nothing much else to start, it usually goes no where as they don't have enough in common to hold interest in each other.
Use Tinder as a way to tell the ladies about who you are...not where you live, work or go to school...that tells her nothing of your character. I have much more to share. But I need to know if you are interested in learning or even need the help. If a girl says she wants to respond to the chat box, the majority of the time, even in good internet areas, a good amount of them will not go through. I had that problem often, she will likely see the same thing you do, a chat box that doesnt fully load. Or yours may be loaded but on her end it doesnt so she is unable to type a single word.

Here's something I did:
Or...she quickly hits the button to accept the chat because of how hard it is to connect,
but then just as fast brings up your profile to read what you have to say about yourself and discovers that you are not what she is looking for so once the chat is fully loaded, she is immature and simply says nothing and doesnt answer. Most of the times, to be truthful, I have not had any meaningful good conversations in a chat box with all the guys whose chat I accepted.
I have answered chat boxes of guys who were heavy smokers and while chatting with them answering their hi and what are you doing or how are you, i find that the part of my profile that spelled out point by point what I am looking for in a guy, they don't meeet the requirements at all, so i will ask why they wrote. If they were just bored and wanted someone to chat with for fun, and I had the time, I might chat. If they said they liked everything they read about me and hoped he'd get a chance to meet me in person, I would then question him bringing up some of my requirements. I needed someone openminded as I used to be >Christian but now was more open minded Spiritually and needed the guy to be the same as I leaned toward Pagan beliefs. There was a deep christian guy who brought up a chat box. I asked if he read my profile as I had quickly read his. He said he read it. So I asked why if he was a christian, that he was contacting someone who was pagan, earth based religion although I do believe in Jesus. At first his answers proved he had not read my profile, only decided to chat cus he liked my photo and I happened to be online...a great majority of guys are like that so girls can become jaded pretty quickly and give up.
When the guy realized what I was about he said he I was a heathen and that he would be praying for my soul and wanted nothing to do with me and closed his chat immediately.
Not many girls are going to make the effort to contact the chat because the accept to connect is only a few seconds long. If you wait too long, you might lose it but then have a guy connected who isn't what you are looking for.

I would even go as far as sending a line that says: Hi, I was interested in what you wrote about yourself in your profile, thanks for accepting my chat. I will give you a moment if you want to go read my profile. If you decide i am not someone who you want to be talking to, let me know and I will not bother you again. If you are intrigued and would like to chat further then great!
Let me know if I can be of any other help on the subject.

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I'm worried about dating and having a relationship with a guy. I feel as if I'm on the back of the bandwagon because some of my close friends have already begun dating and it worries me that I'm missing out on the chance to experience this type of thing. Is it okay to put off dating until you're much older, like in college or even as a young adult? I'm fourteen and female and would like to know before starting high school so I don't miss out on any crucial social or life learning experiences with relationships. Thanks for reading :)

The importance put on being coupled up at your age is all for the wrong reasons. They do so for such reasons as: 1. I will be more popular 2. I will be more normal 3. I don't want to stick out and look odd cus I dont have someone. 4. I will be missing out on learning experiences if I dont have a boyfriend.
When my 3 daughters were in middle school and high school, I told them there was a difference between having a male friend and a boyfriend.
Everyone is school will be going for what their mind believes is most important...a boyfriend which most teens assume means, he hangs out with you in school, texts you lots, holds hands with you and generally you announce to your friends that you are a couple. Before being able to drive and go off on dates, there isn't much ability to get together.
Having a male friend is a good way to go. A male friend can develop into a boyfriend but the pressure is not there so the two can relax and focus more on learning more about themselves, what is important to them, their likes and dislikes in the opposite sex and you won't discover this unless you are interacting with them. At your age its not too young to interact as friends with a male. It's a good time to gain some insight into how the opposite sex thinks, and vocalizes their thoughts. What a guys says and means by it may be entirely different than how a girl interprets what a guy has said. An enormous amount of girls write in asking: What does it mean when a guy says........ and what better way to find out than by asking a best friend who is a male. You know he will answer honestly, he values you as a person and does not have any hidden agenda. Even when you are older and doing some more serious, romantic dating, it certainly doesnt hurt to have male friends who you can count on to give you the straight and narrow and their opinion on what another guys intent may be. When I was divorced and dating, I had someone I could ask his opinions of guys who contacted me in internet dating. It was very helpful. So practice now how to talk to guys, learn how to feel comfortable talking to them as if you were talking to girl friends. The girls who can do this are way ahead of the girls who are supposedly in a romantic dating relationship but have no clue how to talk to or relate to a guy. Dating is for the purpose of spending more time together for two people who already have gone past initial attraction to talking to and discovering they like each other enough to want to spend more time together to get to know each other better. Anywhere during the dating process one or the other can discover something they absolutely will not allow in a relationship, like someone who wont support your hopes and dreams and always puts down the talents you know you have, critizing alot. Even if in all other areas he's great, that is not something you want to lock into with on a long term relationship or marriage someday.
So put into this perspective, two mature 13, 14 yr olds can learn a lot at this stage if they come at the opposite sex with the right attitude to start, as a learning process not a status or showing off process.

The great long term relationships have couples who are each others best friend. So if a friendship with a guy changes from friends to one of you having feelings for the other, that is something to be honest and share. Sometimes both of you will feel t he same and can move into that stage of a more romantic relationship...not that you were looking for it, it just naturally happened and that is not something then to be avoided due to your age. Just be responsible if the attraction leads to wanting to go over into the realm of being sexual. Its best to wait a couple years. Lets say only one is starting to have deeper feelings for but the other doesn't feel that romantic attraction, only as a friend, you'd have to be willing to allow him to date other girls eventually to find that someone and not be jealous but happy for him. And he should be able to do the same for you. If you come up with specific questions you;d like more dicussion on, just give me a holler on my column.
Best wishes to you dear.

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My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 and a half years now. When he's away at school he has a extremely busy life and always says he doesn't have time to even think about me, he's so crazed. I give him tons of space at school and try not to cling on as much as possible. However he only texts me a few times a day, never ever calls or says the loving things he does when were together. This has been an ongoing battle for years now where I constantly feel unloved by him when were away. He's said hurtful things that really make me question what I am to him. I know he loves me and cares about me or he wouldn't go through all this but I'm so tired of being last on his list. I've tried everything. Everything. Talking to him about it is no use, believe me. Should I just ignore him for a while? Take a break for a few weeks so that maybe he'll begin to realize what I am to him?Sometimes I feel this is the only way for him to miss me and get his attention.

I agree with everything Razhie has said, silence does not help and can only worsen things. We're not saying that you are childish but that trying to use the silent treatment to get something you want is a "childish action". I believe you are feeling frustrated enough to want so badly to rectify the situation that you are now willing to graso badlysp at any straws to fix things without putting much thought into if it really is a mature healthy option or not.

Some of your desperation might be due to the length of this relationship, 3 1/2 years, you don't want to find it end and therefore end up as a waste of your time for the past years. LDR's are hard and very few end up with the couple successfully getting together and leading a normal healthy life.
An online/and by phone relationship can only be real to a certain extent, the real is filled in by our imagination. Even I in internet dating at one point in life, and the short term phone chat stage before meeting in person, I was shocked by the final outcome. The person I clicked with so well on the phone and was beginning to have feelings for and could hardly wait to meet in person, was nothing at all like what I thought him to be. It happened many many times. But I began to learn what subtle things to look for in their talk and how to question them better, etc...

What is going to be more real to him is what he can reach out and touch, smell, taste in the world around him, he can't do that with his LDR with you. The world within touch is going to be more real to him and easily be able to drag him away from you. Relationships need to go through stages where they deepen as the years go by and that can't happen to the extent it needs to when its online/LDR. Your few visits in person do not suffice for that.
We all have bad days and might occasionally say something we shouldn't to the one we love, but if its become a pattern, thats not love. Words are easy to say dear, promises easy to make, but the only thing that holds water is the actions behind the words. A confession of love without the action behind it is worthless...like a grocery coupon that has expired. So to confirm your feelings of being "constantly unloved by him"... you are feeling that because it is so. Important lesson to learn, one I had to learn myself, is to love myself enough to choose to no longer subject myself to such behavior. But first comes realizing what kind of behavior or treatment is wrong. I hope you are at that point and can see that. Just write him that the relationship is over and do not answer any emails or phone calls from him. If you need someone to talk to further, you can always write to me dear. Blessings to you.

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We have been together for two years in person and we both believe we are still far from over we have been out 2times and still end up 2gether,we hav not one of us been moviing on or searching for a new mate,we went trew some rought times together i had to let go but he told me that when we are back together things must be diffrent,so we have been in a rought time together,i dnt want to quite he is i believe in a bad sitiution and he was molestrated when he was young cause he is used to being the guy giving up his luck to keep others happy and h needs help i know i might be wrong but i think that i need to get him out of that place somehow what must i do he says his back in the house but doesnt want to tell me wher well that was in the beggining i think i got trew to him i just need to talk to him in person.

When you said the following: he told me that when we are back together things must be diffrent,
the warning bells went off in my head. I come from an abusive relationship so certain phrases and words will stand out. From my perspective, I see it as a possibility that his statement was an announcement to you that YOU will need to change or make adjustments for the relationship to work. Maybe thats not what he meant but you also wrote that he was molested when young and who knows what other non loving, abusive behavior. Children have coping mechanisms that allow them to bury the memories and events that are terrible until they become adults and are no longer dependant on someone for care but have the ability to take care of themselves and have concern for their own welfare. The issues of the past then begin to surface as an adult and often people are afraid to get counseling and help to learn how to deal with it properly because of a fear of revisiting the pain of the memories so they go through life needing an outlet for their pain and anger and it comes out directed at those closest to them.
I stayed with my ex for 30 years. As a Christian, I believed that my unconditional love for him, and my prayers would bring the healing he needed, that all he needed was someone to Be There for him in order to bring the help he needed. Maybe, in two out of a hundred such people, someone being there for them will help cus their case is not as extreme plus they are in a spot where they are asking for help and healing.
But in most cases, someone loving and caring like you will be wasting your time trying to fix things for someone. You are not a professional. And even a professional can not help until he is ready and looking for help and sometimes that takes hitting rock bottom in his life. To hook up with someone like that knowingly, and giving up control to someone who is not emotionally healthy, you risk having your life taken down to rock bottom along with him. So be careful if you decide to get together with him again. If he is asking you to change who you are to be right for him, LEAVE! No one should ever change who they are naturally to be right for the other person. Changing a bad habit of dropping dirty clothes on the floor to put it in the clothes hamper is one thing. But being told to be more quiet and less talkative, to change something about your personality, or being told that you are not good enough to follow your hopes and dreams, being told to give up, is very wrong. If deep inside, your gut feeling is that something is not right and you have an uncomfortable feeling but dont know why, its best to end the relationship.
Thats all I can give for advice.
I know you may care enough to want to change his life for the better but your first and most important focus is to yourself. It wasn't until I got to the point where I learned to love myself enough to remove myself from a bad relationship, that things got better for me. The ex is still an unhappy creature and has gotten worse, found another woman who has low self esteem who lives with him, he has been verbally abusive to our 3 grown daughters since I left and non of them want anything to do with him either now. It is sad but the majority of human like staying in the rut they are in because its comfortable and familiar and change is scary to everyone. Theres not a one of us who likes change and so very few will change and improve in one life time let alone in several if you believe in reincarnation. Some lessons take lifetimes to learn for this one reason.
Your decision is still your own to make but hopefully I've given you more to think about. YOu sound like a wonderful loving person. Hopefully he can appreciate you as such. If not, don't waste time with him. It may seem a very unloving thing to give up on someone but keep in mind that there are layers of importance and that loving actions must fall in a certain order.
That bible verse where Jesus says to Love god with all your heart soul and mind and then "to love your neighbor as you love yourself" should be a guideline that we follow. But the last part is tricky, the word neighbor or 'fellow man' comes before the word, 'yourself' so we automatically think we need to love others over and beyond loving ourself, that love for ourself comes second. But thats not what the verse is saying. What it does say is that until you are able to fully love yourself and put your best interests first, that you are not in any condition to be able to love another person.

Good luck dear.

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Why does my husband always gots to be so mean.Why are we so differtent why does he try to keep me Isolated, in a small town.He watches what I eat.He is driving me crazy.I`m 33 @ my husband is 27.Louisiana U.S.He usualy work out of town I would only see him on the weekend know he home and he driving me off the wall in just one day how can I Adjust to him.

Razhie is right dear. I am only writing because I was an abused wife so I can understand what it is like. And from experience can tell you, that it is not going to get better. If anything, his behavior could get worse, controlling behavior and verbal abuse often lead to physical abuse.
Bringing up the subject to him of going to see a counselor for his sake will fall off deaf ears if not enrage him. Deep down in the subconscious, he is keeping buried whatever experiences may have caused him to become this way. In my case, he had a happy stable childhood, I love his parents they are normal people but it was something wrong in his brain, born with mental problems, subtle enough to not be detected and able to function in society but the pressure of having to try so hard to come across as normal is something he may or may not be aware of as it is a survival mechanism that his subconscious is possible of kicking into gear. The pressure would build within and like a pressure cooker, the steam had to escape somehow so he would let loose at home by lashing out at me. Another survival mechanism is to point the finger at someone else, that they are the one with problems, a way of refocusing peoples attention away from themselves often enough so that no one will be looking too closely or long enough to discover he was the one with problems. So end result, he needs to be willing to admit he has a problem and really want to work on it to in effort to keep you. But he won't accept hearing about it from you. In my case it was a couple who were new friends. The husband used to be a counselor in the army. One day he asked if I'd ever suggested hubby go for counseling and I broke into tears and told him what would happen if I did so he volunteered to talk to him. End result, he went to a counselor in effort to keep me but his heart wasnt in it and he didn't want to change and I left him. I am now remarried to a wonderful man who treats me like a queen and I did not have to change anything about myself to be cherished by the right man. I only had to learn to love myself enough to no longer want to subject myself to this kind of behavior. The issue to leaving once decided is always a financial one. Start to think of who you know who could help you make that break away from him. All it takes is one person who will help. In my case it was the couple who were relocating anyways and I was offered a place to stay with them. You will need to receive some counseling yourself as a victim of such behavior to get back to a healthy mental state yourself. Do not expect him to leave you, he gets something out of this abusive relationship, he won't leave, you need to leave him. If I can be of any more support dear, let me know and write to my in box. I know how important it is to have someone to talk to about the issues of what you're going through, someone who won't judge you but be supportive and encouraging. Until that couple, I hadn't told anyone, but once the guy started the conversation by telling me he could see there was something wrong with my husband, I discovered I had such a need to release my thoughts, feelings and worries in conversation.
Good luck to you dear.

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Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a month. Recently, we haven't been seeing eachother as much because he got moved to different classes at school.

Well, he hasn't been texting me as much and I think he has feelings for another girl. Is there any "signs" to look for? And how can I save our relationship?

When teens start dating, its all a new experience. Going from one relationship to the next comes with the territory and is normal. Two people are sometimes experiencing the initial attraction but once they start spending time together, one of them or both discover that they dont have enough in common or discover a type of behavior in the other that they will not tolerate. So they break up and move on to the next. You learn one thing that you like or dont like about a person and graduate and move up to the next. On the average in early teen years for example 5 months is the longest that dating relationships have lasted so anything less is normal too. When it comes to relationships, don't ever rely to heavy on texting. The only way you can know where you stand with him is to have a talk face to face. Be nice and non threatening in your attitude. Never assume you did anything wrong or that you don't measure up in some way.
When it comes to chemistry for couples, it's either there or it isn't, there's nothing a person can do to make it happen. If you make him feel at ease to confess whats going on for him, then you may learn some valuable information. Maybe he wants some image of perfection he wont find with any girl, maybe he didn't feel you guys had enough in common.

Try to keep him as a male acquaintance that you remain on good, not awkward terms with( in case he is deciding to leave)because he may be a good source to have on your side as you navigate the dating scene and have other boys that seem to be interested in you or you in them and he can help give advice from the male perspective. It won't be easy. You'll experience the highs of having a new love only to experience the pain of breaking up...but its all part of learning how to discover the best person for you and you have many years to learn that before you're an adult and ready for a long term relationship or marriage. So older getting into one relationship now and sticking with it through high school or maybe even college means you've only had exposure to one person so you limited yourself in potential learning experiences in relationships and would be less equipped to make a good life time decision later in life. I hope this made sense.
Enjoy life!

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My girlfriend and I just got a rescue dog and we've noticed that her breathing is a lot faster than normal. We've had her for three days so far and will be scheduling a vet visit soon. It seems like she's taking shorter and faster breathes. I wonder if she could be stressed or is it something else? This didn't really happen until after we took her out for a car ride. Sometimes it lasts a while after a dog walk, but I think in that situation it's just because she's tired. Her heart rate seems normal. What are some reasons why she could be breathing fast? Fall is coming soon and it is getting colder so I don' think the weather is an issue. She is a golden retriever mix with maybe a spitz breed, very small for her breed. She's 40 lbs, and she will be a year old next month. Her medical record said that she was tested for heartworms and it came out negative. I don't know if the family that gave her away gave her heartworm medication, but the organization that took her in was giving her medication before the test, so could that have effect the results of the test? The organization had her for only about 2 weeks. Even when she fell asleep her breathing stayed the same and was still a little faster than normal. What should I expect when we go to the vet?

A vet is the only one who can really answer your questions. Do the same as if it were yourself going to the doctor. Give plenty of stories and details as to what is happening, even anything you may think trivial or non important because you never know what piece of information is the critical one that gets a doctor to decide to test for something other than the usual problems.
Hope all goes well for you and kudos to you for adopting a rescue dog.

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I have been friends with a guy for the past year, and he led me on, and we hooked up. Later I found out it was all a lie, and we had a falling out. However, found out that I was pregnant and went through an abortion. I told him later on, but he already had a new girlfriend. Now, we are not on speaking terms because he can't 'face' me. I miss him, because he was a good friend, and I don't want to lose that. I need help in moving on and letting go.

Your subconscious mind is the mind that has attachments to him and doesnt want to let go cus the subc. mind is where all our emotions and feelings reside. Our awake/conscious mind tries to make choices based on rational, factual and experienced info. So your 2 minds may be at odds with each other.

From what I gather, it sounds like he pretended to be in love with you to get sex and later you discovered he wasn't interested in you and broke up. since you wont tolerate that treatment, that tells me you want unconditional love, you want a guy who will earn your trust, you want honesty, you want someone who'll be with you through thick and thin, you want someone that you can talk to, who isn't afraid to admit when they were in the wrong, someone able to face you and ask for forgiveness and really mean it.
And that to me sounds like a best friend. For many couples, their mate is their best friend. thats what you are looking for in a guy right?
Your subc. mind with the emotions and feelings is looking through rose colored glass when its says "He was a good friend".
Because according to what I am guessing you are wanting in a guy, he doesnt come close to be a 'good' friend. The truth is that he was a bad friend. Yes, it sounds like an oxymoron because a true friend wouldn't treat someone like he did, which means in your mind, you considered him a friend, but in reality, he never was a friend just an aquaintance who used you. Once you are able to put into perspective exactly where he falls in status, that should help you in letting go, that and letting time go by.

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Hi there everyone...
I am 22 years old.
I have been together wth my boyfriend for almost two years now and we have been seperated for almost a month now.everything was fine in the beggining but started going wrong we broke up and a week later got back together again.i dnt know if this time is for real as he said that he wants m to move on but he also doesnt want me to move on.he says that i know he feels the same way about me as i do about him,i have walked literally miles to look for him,with no luck finally i got contact with him and we have been talking and he gives me so much hope tells me that when we are together things must be diffrent and there's some things he wants to do,and he also said that he misses me and the things we did.my instincts are never wrong,i mean never but what if it's wrong this time.i told hiim i have changed and it's hard but i'm keping it together.he also doesnt give me str8 answers on things he just says he doesn't know.but i am clueless when it comes to guys in a gay relationship even if i'm a guy it's hard i dnt know iif he is talking the truth.i also told him what if. Fall inlove with someone else and he asked me not 2,he told me we will get married and alot of other thngs.i thouht i knew him but i have alot to still learn.he also said that he wanted enought money when he comes to me,when i asked how long he says he doesnt know,how am i suppose to life waiting months,i want to let him go,but i am crazy inlove with him and i love him to bits what must i do?i hugged my pillow the other night and said the words i usually told him before we went to bed and the worst was when there was no reply and i realized it might be the end.please only honest answers
Thank you regards. Ps i am from South-Africa

You say he needs to gather money to come to you but that you have been together 2 years before the breaks, so if I am understanding this right, you are talking about a long distance on line relationship. If so, have you ever met in person?
Separating for good is a two way street he can't ask you to keep yourself available for him while he keeps searching for someone better. That doesnt sound like love.

I am not gay but I know its very hard for two heterosexual people to find the right one, and hetero's are the majority. Being gay, you're a minority, and so theres not as many choices and it must be awful difficult to find the right person, so I can imagine that if you think you found someone that comes even remotely close to being what you want that you want to just hang on tight to him and not let go.
My only suggestion is the same I'd have for anyone, no matter what your sexual orientation, or who the person is, a mate, a sibling, a parent or best friend. If the person in your life isn't loving you unconditionally, and doesn't seek your highest interests, but pursues their own without any care for you, then they don't really understand what love is. They may say they love you but not know how to carry it out in action and thats the part that really counts.
If your gut feeling is that you dont know whether he is telling the truth, thats not a good sign.
Successful relationships are built on trust over time. But trust has to be earned by how we treat the person we love. In 2 years time, the two of you should have been able to build up some trust. If its an internet relationship, its only part real and part imagined or fantasy. It is not a good venue in which trust can grow. If you've been together in real life 2 yrs and have no trust, my guess would be that he is not a very good choice for a mate. If you are okay with being choice number two or three for him in his search for a mate, then by all means, hang in there and see what happens. If you are okay with a lack of trust for him, and being told sweet things and promises that are never proved by and backed up with actions, then go ahead and hang in there, waiting for him to decide what he wants.

Its really your decision to make. By reading between the lines, I believe you have too many questions in your mind whether it could work out. It boils down to going with your gut feeling. If you feel too unsecure to make any permanent vows or promises to him, then don't. Take it very slowly and see how it unfolds. If you are afraid of getting your heart broke because some of the things he's doing right now are beginning to feel hurtful, then you must do whats best for you which may be breaking off the relationship. Good luck dear.

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Why do i always get bullied is karma real ?
its gets really hurtful after a amount of times people have said it i have been getting this for the past 5 years of my life non stop everyday people commenting on the way i look i had really bad ance and scars on my face well there nearly gone now but they also were teasing me because i find it hard keeping up with everyone in class it really hurts iv said told a teacher what happened but they didnt do anything at all they just left it and went on their sidei just feel soo worthless i would say about 30 people would teas me because of the way i looked i wish fukin karma gets them bk twats

Telling one teacher, if it didnt help, needs to go further. Most likely its time to bring to the attention of the principle. And your parents should know. Most schooky thing girls. If we believe it in part but not totally, it can be a good idea to put our own comment along with t ls now have zero tolerance for bullying. Out of 3 daughters, two were left along but one was bullied and though no excuse given for bullying is a valid reason...there was nothing that stood out as probable cause, like no acne, didn't wear glasses, wasn't overly shy, didn't have a weird laugh or extremely strange personality, wasnt obese or too skinny, etc...
There was no Obvious reason.
I think how it gets started is that one kid just decides one day that they don't like you even if they don't know you and have no contact with you. Then they convince their friends to not like you either. As a teen, My sister brought home her friend Teri. She said her older sister, just a yr younger than I wanted to come along until she discovered that I was my sisters older sister. I asked why? Teri said her sister Julie hated me. I found that interesting as I had never spoken to her in my life or interacted in any way. Just always saw her at a distance at school.
So it has nothing to do with Karma at this point in life. It has more to do with young peoples brains being incapable of making good decisions. They do and say things that hurt others or they do stupid things that put their own lives in serious danger. The part of brain responsible for making solid mature decisions doesnt finish developing until our mid twenties. Some teens will be ahead of the game and more mature than the majority of their classmates.
The majority of the kids who bully now do it only because one person started it. When they become mature and adults they will regret what they did as kids. Most likely only one or two will still be hard hearted individuals and have miserable lives or have increased chances of being in trouble with the law.

Let the proper authorities know. Don't give up cus bullying should never be allowed.
When my oldest was bullied, I made sure to make an appointment to see her teacher, my getting involved helped to get rid of the problem.

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Hello, i took a Morning after pill the day after i had unprotected sex which was about 3 weeks ago, well i got the normal symptons such as spotting and bleeding, however that did stop..

But i keep feeling fatigue in me, like constantly i don't feel ill or nauseous or anything its just that and sometimes i get abdominal pains. Why am i still getting these?
And how long can your period be delayed for? normally i would be getting signs that my period is going to come around this time and nothing has happened? the more i think about it the more i stress, because the person i had sex with is not my boyfriend we were seeing each other and that..

I'm thinking to do a pregnancy test tomorrow, however a lot of girls said that their period was delayed by 2 weeks or something, im really scared i don't want to be pregnant.

My fatigue comes and goes, are these symptoms normal since its been 3 weeks since i took the pill!? please im really confused.. by the way im 19.

THANKSSSSS

Extreme fatigue is one of the symptoms of what women are feeling during the first trimester of pregnancy, the 3 months when babys begin development. However you could being feeling fatigue for many other rational/plausible reasons.
So take that pregnancy test and rule it out.
Periods can be delayed for great amounts of time when you've been ill and fighting off some bug or the stressing and worrying about pregnancy can make a period extreme late. I don't know how often you're sexually active. But for peace of mind for one thing, it might well be worth it to get on some trust worthy birth control. For that, you can go to Planned parenthood in case you don't have your own doctor and health insurance. You can also go see PP if you discover you are pregnant which is highly unlikely if you took the morning after pill within 3 days of having sex.

A common reason for women, especially young women to feel fatique is that after so many years of having a period and having little iron in your diet, that you develop iron poor blood and that will make you feel fatigue. A simple blood test for levels of iron can answer that. Then you'd need to educate yourself as to what foods are rich in iron and start putting those into your diet. As a female, I've had my iron dip low many times during my life and after the umpteenth time I began to recognize the signs of what it felt like and I would flood my diet for the next week with nothing but high in iron foods. Dont go but an ad on a package that says, "High in iron" if this is your situation, low iron. Read the numbers. One food might say 9 % iron and label says high in iron. the unmarked package says iron 20% iron. You can discover a lot on web searches on the topic.
Good luck dear and I hope too that you are not pregnant.

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I am 13 and a female...Okay, so there's a guy at school that I've liked so much since last year! I'm not really sure if he likes me or not, but I'd really like to know! He knows I like him also! When we go down the hallway at school and pass each other sometimes he says "hey Hannah" but he almost ALWAYS smiles and his face turns red. I don't know what this means! He never texts me back and sometimes when I call him he answers and we talk for like 5 minutes or so. But last night when my friend was with me we called him and talked to him all night long. We did a three way call with him and his friend and he kept saying "this is the girl that likes me so much" and he said "Hannah this is my best friend" and I was just like "okay ambers my best friend haha" and then he was like "I thought I was your best friend!" And I said " no I'm in love with you there's a difference." And he told his buddy "see did you here that". SO what does all of this mean!? Please tell me!!!

What does it mean when someone smiles at you? Or what does it mean if someones face turns red?
What does it mean if it happens to you? Likely you smile when you are happy, just like every other human. If you break into a smile when you see your girlfriend, it's because you're happy to see her, being with her makes you feel goo.
Well, same with this guy. He smiles cus he is glad to see you. Only thing is, besides it making him feel good in general, there are likely other feelings being stirred up as well, the feeling of attraction to the opposite sex which is so new and scary when experiencing it for the first time. He may be embarrassed because of being in unknown territory, not having felt this before and embarrassed cus he doesnt know what to do with these feelings or how to act and what to say. Like many people do when embarrassed, he blushes, meaning his face turns red. It's an automatic body response connected to what he's feeling that he can't control so if he's doing it, thats what he is feeling.

Interesting that in phone call he says this is the girl that likes me so much, and couldn't admit, this is the girl that I like so much. All you can know by his comment to his buddy, See, Did you hear that?" is that he has been talking about you to his buddy and what you said about loving him is somehow connected to what was discussed about you and confirms something he knows or suspects about you. If the words spoken are exactly as you wrote it thats what that means. If the word "See" was not there, then he wasn't making a comparising connection to what you said. He was more likely surprised and asking his friend "Did you hear that" more as in was I imagining what I think I just heard or did you hear it too?

If he smiles at you and greets you by name, and talks about you to his best friend, then he is definitely interested in you. Just too scared and unsure of what to do next. Girls are always a bit more socially advanced than guys at this stage so it may be up to you to make the first move. If after your confession on the phone, he doesnt try to build a closer friendship with you and want to hang out as boyfriend and girlfriend, then it will be up to you to hbe the brave one. Finding opportunities to be near the person is one way to show preferance, but he already knows that so if you are comfortable with it, there are some very innocent ways to flirt with him that should hopefully encourage him more to feel self assured around you, and become as comfortable with you as he is with his guy friend. Here is the link to that. In a nutshell, he is attracted to you and doesnt know how to get from here to friendship stage;;;thats what this all means.

http://www.wikihow.com/Touch-a-Guy

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The other day I realized that I was falling for my best friend. Normally i would prance around in my prettiest clothes and maybe even tell him how i feel, but the problem is that he's been my best friend for years. I only realized I liked him a couple weeks ago, but its been eating away at me ever since. He has a girlfriend also. All I want right now is some closure, but theres no way I can talk to him because it might ruin our friendship forever. What do I do?

Well, if you say nothing and continue to try to just hang with him as a friend and still enjoy the company without your feelings and emotions feeling tortured, then continue on, say nothing.

If however, the more you see nigal him, the more you feel tortured because you are inlove with him and feel you can't tell him, then you may have to decide to stop all contact with him. Or extremely
limit it.

If all of a sudden you are acting distant or have stopped talking to or seeing him, he's going to want some explanation as to what is up.

Can you see him falling for some flimsy excuse you concoct if he really knows you well as a friend? You know whatever excuse you give will likely not ring true for him. And then there's a chance he will wonder if he unintentionally said or did something that hurt you and is the cause of why you are keeping distant. I am sure you don't want to cause him any hurt that way.

So, either you avoid doing anything, and try to do some crisis mop up later when this all comes to a head on it's own, or you think of ways to bring up to him how you are feeling.

If you admit your feelings, yes it could change or ruin the friendship. But as I just spelled out, taking the other path will surely eventually come to the same end result, just later than sooner.
However, if you told him, and he then understood why you wont see him anymore because of how its hurting your heart, at least you wont have made him feel hurt or guilt because of not knowing anything as to why.

Then, last possible scenerio, is that you discover he was having the same feelings for you but didn't want to threaten the friendship and /or didn't think you'd welcome a more romantic side to the relationship.

His dating a girl could be because he is truly interested in her and smitten with her, so he is just hanging with her in an attempt to divert his romantic feelings for you.

Lots of great relationships have at their base, a good solid friendship. There are married people who will claim their mate as their best friend. My husband is my best friend. The chemistry sexually is either there or it isn't. If it was there from the beginning but you chose to ignore it in favor of what was more important to you at the time, friendship.....then there's a good chance he felt the same thing. Some times it's one sided and felt only by one person.

I have given you a lot of possibilities to think about. In the end, the decision as to what you do is still your choice. Go with your gut feeling as to what to do. Whatever choice you make, let it not be out of fear to go with another choice. Fear will almost always mislead you.

One last thing, the other woman is a girlfriend, not a fiancee as far as you know. So other than dating, there has been no commitment to her. The process of dating may seem like a commitment and yes there are smaller short term commitments to it, but dating is all about discovering more about the other person and whether to keep seeing them or move on to the next if they aren't right for you....so dating relationships come and go, they are not set in stone.
Your attitude, if it is not to break up his relationship with the other girl but you feel you must stop seeing him, then you are doing the explanation out of love and concern for his feelings, and that is not a bad thing.

Good luck dear. I'd love to hear how it works out and help with any future questions that come up about this.

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Okay help me out guys. I would say I have a lot of friends not being cocky. I know a lot of people from my town, the town next to mine and then some people from 2 others towns that everyone knows as well. Popularity I'd say im in the middle,but lemme say im fat so honestly it's obvious that's why not as many people like me. I feel like I have no friends though. This is only out of school, no one texts me calls me and honestly I think I could die and no one would notice or call. I have a few close friends (im a girl) who even rarely text me. I never get texts to the point where I don't even need a phone. In school i fel so much better because there's one guy I look forward to seeing everyday who actually likes me i think only as a friend but ivealways liked him. My lockers 2 away from his so i talk to him whenever I can and he's in all my classes. Hes not too popular either even though he could be so it makes me feel so much better. If it weren't for him and my bestest friend who ill call Sally who understands me inside and out I really think Id be very depressed. Sally doesn't text me often tho either which ugh bothers me because no one texts me and I feel worthless because whenever im with my friends they always have someone texting them and im just like playing games or doing nothing or trying to see who or what they're texting about. Not even just girls no guys EVERtext me or look for me which is really upsetting and no one has liked me in a long time ive only had my first kiss im not telling exact but im gonna tell u im under15.someof my friends have hooked up (madeout)with guys and then there's me who no guy ever looks to hu with. I have a great psonality im funny too but basically what everyone sees is fat fat fat. I like guys but no one ever likes me back. I've thought about suicide but don't think I'd ever actually be able to do it. I couldn't do that to my family. I think about myself having no friends and no one ever liking me,being unpopular,being fat and more all the time and i cry at least every other night in bed. No one acknowledges my existence and idk what to do about it please give me advice and don't say anything mean please try and understand me I feel so alone

Your mind is making some very negative assumptions.
First, when I was your age, we did not have texting let alone cell phones or other apps. We had to talk to the person face to face or make an honest to god real voice to voice phone call.
You have come to the conclusion that because everyone is recieving lots of texts, that you are somehow missing out. I've seen the samples of some of those texts or girls who write out the entire text of a guy she likes to ask what he is really saying. There is very little information or any conversation that is worthwhile. Most of it is filled with non informational stuff like lots of idk's and asking what the other is up to and the answer is always nuthin. You are not missing out on anything. How many texts a person receives is not a good measure of their value as a human being. In highschool, I had only a handful of friends over the years...5 and not a one of them were a guy, and I was never kissed until a year out of high school. I chose my friends not on appearance but the quality of their friendship. And not a single one of them were ever part of the popular crowd, neither was i. And they made the best friends. As I see it, you're doing better than I, you've got a nice guy and you've already experienced your first kiss. I'd say your doing great!
As for being over weight, sometimes no matter what you eat or how much excercise, it's genetics, or someething medically like thyroid or whatever that adds to the weight, or also what the world offers us, lots of toxins and food grown today that is not as nutrious for us as it was when my parents were kids. That also will affect our bodies and cause us to be more unhealthy and carry around more weight.
You have to love yourself inside and out. I looked back at my diaries of my teen years recently. The person I was at 14 or 15 was a lovely person...I am that same person again after taking a detour and trying to become someone different to make a man happy, the guy i was married to and had 3 kids with. Long story short, I woke up later in life and realized I needed to love myself first, once I loved my self enough to leave the ex who verbally abused me, my life changed. I was happy with myself, and that put out positive vibes and attracted new friends and of course my wonderful 2nd husband.
It is better to have fewer friends who are real genuine like yours than too have many who dont give a crap about you. All my daughters have had close friends in highschool who were the overweight or obese gals. They were the quality friends my daughters loved and were not ashamed of. When my oldest married, her two sisters were bridesmaids and she had 3 friends from highschoool also, 1 thin, two overweight. It did not matter what the two gals looked like to my daughter, not even in her wedding, its their friendship that mattered.
Good luck dear.

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OK, I am talking to this guy, but he doesn't live in the same country as me. He is like 3 years older than me. He plans on moving to the US, and he is like the only person that likes me. But, should I keep my hopes up about him? No rude reply's please.

I did the internet dating thing, so though mine was more short term, I do understand well one thing that i learned, that my own mind fills in lots of the details with what i imagine as I get what little input I get from an LDR. Although there was one LDR. I got to meet. We were in love. It was great for the first month and then I saw and experienced stuff I could never live with, things that would drive me nuts, I ignored these but things got worse and he was starting to distance himself. Needless to say, I did not end up with him, I did meet someone on line. All I did was use the internet as a tool to get to know of the persons existance. The sooner I could meet a person in real life, the easier it was to find out if this was the right person for me or not. I do know that some LDR's and long term internet friendships can turn out okay. But that's an exceptional to the rule. In the meanwhile enjoy his friendship. But if someone comes along in your sphere of the neighborhood, don't exclude him because of the person in another country. You dont know 100% for sure if it would turn out once he got here. I have had any many online male friends who 'were there for me' during difficult times' before i met my current husband.
In all things, always go with your gut feeling, it's like your inner voice, your angels guiding you. If you feel unsettled or agitated about a choice you want to make and don't feel quite at peace, then likely it is the wrong choice to make.

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my doctor prescribed me Zolaph for depression I have been on it for almost 3 months now and ever since I have been taking it and I have been taking it like it says on the bottle but I have been having really bad stomach cramps and been going to the bathroom a lot with the diarrhea lately ever since I have been on the new medicine are these side effects from Zolaph ? Do I need to be put on something else for my depression ?

Here is an on line list of detailed possible side effects to Zoloft:

http://www.drugs.com/sfx/zoloft-side-effects.html

So my advice is to call and let the doctor know so he can prescribe something else.

I am very much a proponent of people taking some personal responsibility for their health...all of it mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. The best thing you can do is to study and do searches on line. In some cases, a person must be under doctors care and on pharmaceutical drugs. However, there is a larger community now of those who see the benefits to learning how to prevent some conditions naturally IF they can't be prevented.
There's a saying, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". Adviceman brought up the two possible causes of depression. ONe being a hormonal imbalance in the brain and the second being stress. It can also be a combo of both.
There are many on Zoloft or other artificial serotonin -like drugs to help fight the depression who may only have depression due to stress rather than a deficiancy they were born with.
You didn't state your age. If you are under legal age, you must of course go with your parents and doctors orders.
If you are of legal age, there are things you can try to do in addition to your doctors medications in case your depression is caused in part by stress or completely by stress.

I am talking from experience having two daughters who were suffering depression. The oldest daughter had it start during teen years but kept it hidden from us...it wasnt severe enough that we could notice it yet. But in her early twenties, after having a baby, she was launched into post partum depression and using natural means was not helping. She had the chemical imbalance she was born with and had to go on medications. I have another daughter who due to employment problems and a succession of being dumped by 2 guys in a period of 5 years, fell into deep depression. I asked her to try the list I am going to give to you but she did not. That was just moms silly natural health stuff. Her current job allowed one free visit to a phycologist which she made. She told her problems, and since she couldn't afford going for counseling, he told her what she could do for herself and gave her exactly the same suggestions I had given. She came back excitedly to tell me and began to implement them. She has made a complete turn around. She is such a happy cheery positive person, even more positive than me now!!

Do not stop taking the new prescription your Dr. will give you.
But add the following changes and see if you feel any different. After some time, you may want to revisit the Dr. and ask to be put on lower amounts of the medication to see how you are doing. That can be repeated until you are off meds if the case is that you don't need them. If however the meds are needed, you will know once taking less of them and then just go back to Dr. and get put back on the full amount.

So here is my list. The hormonal imbalance can be affected by stress. Serotonin is what helps your neuro-transmitters to work properly...where you will be in a stable place emotionally. Our levels of naturally made serotonin can run low and not be remade due to stress. But there are things we can do...silly as they may seem, but its been proven to increase the levels of naturally occuring serotonin in people. This works if its stress related but not so much for more extreme deficiancys from birth.

Movement such as excercise, running, dancing is helpful to raise these levels. I have tried skipping like little kids do. You'll never see an adult do it cus it looks silly but I have done it and cant help but laugh too as I do and I can feel my happy levels come right back up.
Listening to your favorite songs...the words arent as important as the melodies. Melodies of songs that when you hear them, your heart feels light like a balloon as if it were going to float right out of your chest. The melody uplifts you. One such melody that does it for me is Clocks by Coldplay. There are a handful of others. When I begin to feel stressed, I play those songs, dance along or the third thing to do, sing your heart out. Singing does alot to help.
You've heard the saying, Laughter is the best medicine" Well it is true for some things like depression. So watch a comedy movie, read some hilarious stories or jokes. Start keeping a collection of the stuff that makes you crack up every time, no matter how many times you've seen it or read it.
Another is hugging. If you look up hug therapy on line, you will find stuff about it and people who are very serious about it as a depression fighter.
You can't give a hug without receiving one in return. The hugs needed here for therapy are not those quick loose hugs with a light pat on the back...we're talking about really big hard, long bear hugs.

Good luck dear and blessings to you.

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I think I started my period but, I'm 2 months late if I did. I haven't had sex or anything like that I'm just scared and confused.

If you are somewhere in the first 2 years of the very first start of getting a period, then your body is still regulating itself. It is quite normal to have longer periods, shorter ones or none at all and anywhere from just spotting to heavy flow and combo's of all those. If it's still happening after 2 yrs, it's likely time for your first gynecological exam anyways. Let mom know and she can set up an appointment and be moral suppport...she's a girl....she's been there before. Or if you're the very private type and don't want mom to know, then I'd say to go to a Planned parenthood facility. They do exams too.
See the link below for an article on the irregularity of cycles for young teens.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html#cat20015

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I have a teacher that doesn't like many students and if you are on her bad side, her class is Hell for you. I have her every morning. Recently, she made a Log where a trusted student would take it to each teacher everyday and if someone misbehaves, their name is written down. Anyways - I was the trusted student. I am very nervous because I lost it and I was one of the few people she trusted. Luckily, she didn't ask for it today. But - I know tomorrow she will. I have been very responsible and taking it to her everyday but yesterday I know I put it in my backpack but today I just couldn't find it! I don't know how to tell her, I'm afraid she would get very angry. Anyone got any advice? (Also, I am in 6th grade. I started in August.)

Lets see if I understand the purpose of this log. She's putting names on it of students she feels have misbehaved (whether they did or not)
this list does not go to the principle, but to all other teachers so that they can know which trouble-makers to look out for?
If they also have a problem with the same kid, they mark it on the same list. And, then what happens, does the list go to the principal so he/she can call in the student who has caused trouble for too many teachers and they are talked to, punished in some way or suspended?

Is it a new school policy with the principal endorsing it or is it some idea this one teacher came up with and is implementing on her own. If it's the latter, it could be that she is simply using this "list" as a tool to scare the students into behaving. If she has to resort to this method of keeping the students in control, she not only does not have their respect but she likely does not have a heart for the kids, and could possibly hate her job. If the principal is aware of the existance of this list, I think the best thing is to approach the principle and tell em that the list is missing. That way, if the teacher chooses to take retribution out on you by taking passing grades and faking them to failing grades and you always had passing grades before she knew you lost the list, then the principal would have foreknowledge of the event and the timing of whatever actions she takes out personally on you. Yes, bring your parents into this. If you're afraid to approach the principal, then give mom all the details and have her call.
Sorry to hear you have a teacher that makes school anything but a fun healthy positive learning experience.

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Hey everyone! So Ive got a boyfriend and weve only been togethr since october 18th.. Hes the most amazing guy ever. Hes not the problem but there was another guy i liked before him named Jacob. Jacob was such a nice guy and he never did anything wrong. But ww had grown apart andi thought wewere both moving on. My parents love jacob and hes been to my house many times. I havent told really anyone in my family about my boyfriend ,only my best friend know. (Also jacob hadnt talked to me in a month).. so jacob texted me the night that me and my boyfriend were official & i think he fot the jist of the fact that Im not into him anymore.. my mom keeps asking when I wanna have jacob over though ans I just want them to forget about him. I know im going to have to eventually tell my parents but i think im going to wait for monday for my older sister to find out. What do u think???? Btw im 14 and so is my botfriend and please dont question our age and matrity

Don't be afraid of telling your parents. Parents are resilient with the change of boyfriends, and as in my case also a change of husbands. My oldest at 27 has married and divorced 2 men, and is now on to her 3rd serious relationship.
Yes, parents can get attached to your choice of boyfriends and really like them, but it doesnt mean we can't like the next one as well or even more.
What you need to keep in mind...coming from a momma of 3 grown girls, all who are dating....is that the most important thing to a mother is that her daughter is not only happy but is treated very well by her guy.
If he hadn't talked to you in a month, something was seriously wrong, especially if he couldn't tell you he was going through something and wouldn't be talking to you or seeing you for a while. An explanation would've been nice.

I certainly hope people aren't picking on you for having a boyfriend at 14. The way you were doing it with having him over alot to your house so the parents get to know him is a great way to start at your age. There are a lot of abusive bad guys out there even at this age. It would be a good thing if you and parents are close enough that they can let you know if they think they spot something not quite right about a guy...something where you would be mentally or physically mistreated. If its just that their personalities don't click as well, that happens and the parents must allow you to be with whomever makes you happy. Until you're 18, the parents are responsible for your well being. The fact that you have a new boyfriend is not a threatening situation so it would be good for them to know.
You could start the talk with, "YOu may have noticed that Jacob hasnt been around in a month. He and I have been losing interest in each other.
I think he wanted to find someone he was more interested in but couldn't and so now he wants to get back together with me, but I have already met someone else and promised to be his boyfriend."
Then you could go on to telling them about the new guy and asking to invite him over. And answer any other questions they might have about Jacob.

Even if lets say the new guy doesnt turn out...they still need an explanation as to why Jacob is coming around anymore.

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