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Husband always picking and needing
Why does my husband always gots to be so mean.Why are we so differtent why does he try to keep me Isolated, in a small town.He watches what I eat.He is driving me crazy.I`m 33 @ my husband is 27.Louisiana U.S.He usualy work out of town I would only see him on the weekend know he home and he driving me off the wall in just one day how can I Adjust to him.
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You shouldn't have to adjust to him. No husband should be watching what you eat. It's controlling behavior and controlling behavior is abuse.
You should sit down and tell him that this is not ok. He does not own you.
If he doesn't agree to stop, he's probably not the man you should be with.
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Razhie is right dear. I am only writing because I was an abused wife so I can understand what it is like. And from experience can tell you, that it is not going to get better. If anything, his behavior could get worse, controlling behavior and verbal abuse often lead to physical abuse.
Bringing up the subject to him of going to see a counselor for his sake will fall off deaf ears if not enrage him. Deep down in the subconscious, he is keeping buried whatever experiences may have caused him to become this way. In my case, he had a happy stable childhood, I love his parents they are normal people but it was something wrong in his brain, born with mental problems, subtle enough to not be detected and able to function in society but the pressure of having to try so hard to come across as normal is something he may or may not be aware of as it is a survival mechanism that his subconscious is possible of kicking into gear. The pressure would build within and like a pressure cooker, the steam had to escape somehow so he would let loose at home by lashing out at me. Another survival mechanism is to point the finger at someone else, that they are the one with problems, a way of refocusing peoples attention away from themselves often enough so that no one will be looking too closely or long enough to discover he was the one with problems. So end result, he needs to be willing to admit he has a problem and really want to work on it to in effort to keep you. But he won't accept hearing about it from you. In my case it was a couple who were new friends. The husband used to be a counselor in the army. One day he asked if I'd ever suggested hubby go for counseling and I broke into tears and told him what would happen if I did so he volunteered to talk to him. End result, he went to a counselor in effort to keep me but his heart wasnt in it and he didn't want to change and I left him. I am now remarried to a wonderful man who treats me like a queen and I did not have to change anything about myself to be cherished by the right man. I only had to learn to love myself enough to no longer want to subject myself to this kind of behavior. The issue to leaving once decided is always a financial one. Start to think of who you know who could help you make that break away from him. All it takes is one person who will help. In my case it was the couple who were relocating anyways and I was offered a place to stay with them. You will need to receive some counseling yourself as a victim of such behavior to get back to a healthy mental state yourself. Do not expect him to leave you, he gets something out of this abusive relationship, he won't leave, you need to leave him. If I can be of any more support dear, let me know and write to my in box. I know how important it is to have someone to talk to about the issues of what you're going through, someone who won't judge you but be supportive and encouraging. Until that couple, I hadn't told anyone, but once the guy started the conversation by telling me he could see there was something wrong with my husband, I discovered I had such a need to release my thoughts, feelings and worries in conversation.
Good luck to you dear.
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It's difficult to advise you based on so little information about your lives.
If your husband is trying to control what you eat - that is abuse.
That's controlling behaviour that is abusive. That isn't something you should adjust to. That is something he should stop.
If you need to talk directly to someone about what is going on in your home, you could try the National Domestic Abuse hotline at thehotline.org or 1−800−799−7233.
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