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I'm worried about partner ship in the future
I'm worried about dating and having a relationship with a guy. I feel as if I'm on the back of the bandwagon because some of my close friends have already begun dating and it worries me that I'm missing out on the chance to experience this type of thing. Is it okay to put off dating until you're much older, like in college or even as a young adult? I'm fourteen and female and would like to know before starting high school so I don't miss out on any crucial social or life learning experiences with relationships. Thanks for reading :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The importance put on being coupled up at your age is all for the wrong reasons. They do so for such reasons as: 1. I will be more popular 2. I will be more normal 3. I don't want to stick out and look odd cus I dont have someone. 4. I will be missing out on learning experiences if I dont have a boyfriend.
When my 3 daughters were in middle school and high school, I told them there was a difference between having a male friend and a boyfriend.
Everyone is school will be going for what their mind believes is most important...a boyfriend which most teens assume means, he hangs out with you in school, texts you lots, holds hands with you and generally you announce to your friends that you are a couple. Before being able to drive and go off on dates, there isn't much ability to get together.
Having a male friend is a good way to go. A male friend can develop into a boyfriend but the pressure is not there so the two can relax and focus more on learning more about themselves, what is important to them, their likes and dislikes in the opposite sex and you won't discover this unless you are interacting with them. At your age its not too young to interact as friends with a male. It's a good time to gain some insight into how the opposite sex thinks, and vocalizes their thoughts. What a guys says and means by it may be entirely different than how a girl interprets what a guy has said. An enormous amount of girls write in asking: What does it mean when a guy says........ and what better way to find out than by asking a best friend who is a male. You know he will answer honestly, he values you as a person and does not have any hidden agenda. Even when you are older and doing some more serious, romantic dating, it certainly doesnt hurt to have male friends who you can count on to give you the straight and narrow and their opinion on what another guys intent may be. When I was divorced and dating, I had someone I could ask his opinions of guys who contacted me in internet dating. It was very helpful. So practice now how to talk to guys, learn how to feel comfortable talking to them as if you were talking to girl friends. The girls who can do this are way ahead of the girls who are supposedly in a romantic dating relationship but have no clue how to talk to or relate to a guy. Dating is for the purpose of spending more time together for two people who already have gone past initial attraction to talking to and discovering they like each other enough to want to spend more time together to get to know each other better. Anywhere during the dating process one or the other can discover something they absolutely will not allow in a relationship, like someone who wont support your hopes and dreams and always puts down the talents you know you have, critizing alot. Even if in all other areas he's great, that is not something you want to lock into with on a long term relationship or marriage someday.
So put into this perspective, two mature 13, 14 yr olds can learn a lot at this stage if they come at the opposite sex with the right attitude to start, as a learning process not a status or showing off process.
The great long term relationships have couples who are each others best friend. So if a friendship with a guy changes from friends to one of you having feelings for the other, that is something to be honest and share. Sometimes both of you will feel t he same and can move into that stage of a more romantic relationship...not that you were looking for it, it just naturally happened and that is not something then to be avoided due to your age. Just be responsible if the attraction leads to wanting to go over into the realm of being sexual. Its best to wait a couple years. Lets say only one is starting to have deeper feelings for but the other doesn't feel that romantic attraction, only as a friend, you'd have to be willing to allow him to date other girls eventually to find that someone and not be jealous but happy for him. And he should be able to do the same for you. If you come up with specific questions you;d like more dicussion on, just give me a holler on my column.
Best wishes to you dear.
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I personally think that 14-16 is a little early for dating because you're at that point where you're still figuring out who you really are as a person.
People usually put off dating when they want to focus on other aspects like school or their career. It's completely normal.
You don't have to start dating just because everyone else is dating. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend should not be a status symbol.
I advice you to start dating when you feel that you're ready to face all sorts of complicated love problems.
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