I'm fourteen and female and would like to know when is the right time for dating and relationships to start. I feel like I'm on the back of the bandwagon because my close friends have already begun dating which worries me. I don't want to miss out on crucial learning experiences for relationships in my adult life. Is it okay to start dating late, like in collage or even as a young adult? I want to get some advice before entering high school. Thanks for reading :)
I would say that a lot of kids begin to date between the ages of 12-16 according to a study reported on by the Wall Street Journal. However, lots of people wait until they are older. Some are even in college or on rare occasions beyond when the begin to venture into dating.
In your case, I wouldn't focus on what your friends are doing. Putting to much emphasis on the activity of your friends, at any age, can cause a lot of problems.
You personally have to be comfortable with the idea of dating. If you're not comfortable, you're not ready. And if that's the case, that's okay.
Second, being that you are still a teenager, if and when you are ready, you should probably talk things over with your parents and see how they feel about it. I know this might seem uncomfortable but just remember that your parents were once your age and they will likely have a lot of good advice to give on the subject.
lightoftruth answered Monday October 21 2013, 10:01 pm: It's hard to answer this because it's different for everyone. It's honestly whatever works best for you.
A lot of it has to do with maturity though. Most parents don't want their kids dating at an early age because of boys going through hormones and all that, they want sex and the kids your age can't exactly handle that kind of relationship.
A lot of girls grow up thinking they need to get into a relationship while they're in high school because so many people are doing that. It's even harder when it's your close friends who are dating already. If you did start dating in high school, I'd suggest around 16-17, but not get into an exclusive relationship. Just more for learning about what you like in guys, what qualities you like and dislike and then when you get older and you're looking for something more serious, you'll know what you're looking for.
Most girls date young because they like to feel wanted.
So yeah, it's definitely fine to start dating in college or as a young adult. I actually know lots of people who waited to date because of dumb drama in high school and most high school relationships don't last.
adviceman49 answered Monday October 21 2013, 10:16 am: This is a good question; it is also a tough question to answer as everyone is different.
To start with lets define dating. Dictionary definition: Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner.
This is a little deep for 14 year olds. At 14 the definition of what most of your friends are doing falls more in line with hooking up for fun. Meaning a group of kids going to the mall to hang out with maybe the boy asking the girl to hang out with him. Most parents myself included would not allow a 14 year old girl to go out on a date alone with a boy her age or older.
You are also correct that dating is time for learning as well as for enjoyment. This is the time when you learn how to handle boys and men and how to properly socialize.
There is no set time for when a teenager will start to date. The reasons for this are many. Foremost is maturity. Each of us mature at a different rate therefore we will each decide when we are ready or feel comfortable to date. It is not something you do because your friends are doing so.
Then there are those teenagers that have made life plans, such as wanting to get into a specific College or specific ranking of colleges. To do so requires a great amount of attention to school work leaving little time to date. There is nothing wrong with this as there are a great many students who date infrequently or not at all during the school year.
The long and short of the answer is you will know when you're ready. Being ready does not mean to do so because your friends are doing something. In the case of dating it will also include permission of your parents.
What I am about to say is totally wrong but there is a double standard when it comes to boys VS girls and how parent treat dating. Boys are generally given more leeway as to when they can date than girls. The simple fact are boys cannot become pregnant; so parents are far less reluctant to allow boys to date at an earlier age.
My advice is to first sit down with mom and discuss dating with her. Get moms input as to when she feels you will be old enough to date by definition of dating and when you could group date (hook up). Then sit down with both mom and dad and find out just what they would allow as far as dating. Such as when you could date and what your curfew would be.
With this information you will then know when you feel you're ready to date and when you will meet less resistance from your parents. Yes, dating is a time for growth and maturing. It starts though with a great many restrictions, especially for young girls until you build your parents trust in your dating. So have the conversation now so you know what to expect when YOU are ready. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
Natalka16 answered Monday October 21 2013, 8:00 am: There is no set time for dating and relationships. It's a personal decision really but let me give you a very wise piece of advice.
Don't be influenced by your friends who you say have started dating. For me 14-16 is a little bit too fast for relationships however at the age of 15+ I think that dating is all right. Remember relationships aren't as easy as they look so maybe starting them a little bit later would be a more mature thing to do. It is proven that relationships which have been well thought out and not rushed into last longer. But the decision of course is yours. Just don't do anything that you might later regret. [ Natalka16's advice column | Ask Natalka16 A Question ]
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