about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

18/f.

I have what looks like a blister,bubble and all on my pubic mound kind of close to my leg. I only have sex with one man and haven't had sex with anyone else in a long time. I popped it stupidly out of curiosity and it had clear puss. I had a bladder infection recently and just started birth control.
What could this be?

I couldn't say what the blister is I'm not a doctor. Even if I was I would have to examine you to make a diagnoses.


Given the fact that you had a bladder infection it could be the result of the infection, a result of the medication or it could be herpes you picked up from oral sex with your boyfriend when he had a cold sore.

"Cold sores — also called fever blisters — are fluid-filled lesions caused by herpes simplex virus type 1 infection" (from Mayo Clinic website)


Whatever it may be it is worth a trip to your GYN to have it looked at and diagnosed and treated.

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me and my boyfriend are both teenagers and live together most of the time. my boyfriend says that hes completely in love with me, he even has a tattoo of my name; but he has strayed from me a few times in the past and ive seen him jerking off a lot when he could be doing "stuff" with me i know he thinks im beautiful and stuff and we do have sex a few times a month but when were at parties i can tell hes cheeking other girls out. i know he has sexual needs im not fulfilling and hes just harmlessly enjoying himself, but i feel like i need to give him more, so im thinking about getting breast implants im only an A and all the girls he cheeks out and jerks to are this beautiful Cs and Ds. do think this is a good idea; if not what else would you consider i do?

First no reputable Plastic Surgeon will even consider giving you implants until you are between 18 and 21. The reason is that puberty continues well past 18 for some people and until puberty ends there is a chance your breasts will grow.


Next is the cost. A good implant surgery costs $15,000 and up depending on the procedure you want and if you need to be expanded to accommodate the implant. This is consider cosmetic surgery and generally not covered by Insurance. For good results, meaning results that don't look like you have been enhanced it is going to cost more. The less expensive procedures will leave you with tell tale signs of enhancement.


There is nothing wrong with being small breasted. Especially if your small framed as well. Large breasted women complain of back pain from the weight of their big breasts. Your skeletal frame will only support so much breast weight. By having breast enhancement you may trade an imaginary problem for the real problem of having to support the weight of those implants. Something to think about.


Guys have a saying about breasts. Anything over a mouthful is a waste. Sure it is nice to look at big breasted women and there are men out their that like big breasted women. Most like me though like women who can look sexy without looking trashy. For women with really big breasts that's a stretch. Women with small breasts can dress well and look sexy at the same time. So think about this before you decide.

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my friends and i haven't be as close as we used to lately. my friends have been having issues with this guy (call him L). L has been a jerk to my friends so they say. I won't get into it too much but they basically got mad at L for petty reasons and wanted to get him in trouble with the principal. What my friends don't know is that L and I have been getting slightly closer and talking more and when I found out that they were gonna get him trouble, I showed no emotion but I went and told L because I didn't want him to get in trouble at all over some so stupid. Am I wrong for wanting to do this for him? Also should I tell my friends that I have been talking to L more? I don't know if they'll get mad at me or not.

I think the better option here is not to tell L what is happening as that could cause him to do something that would get him in trouble.


Instead I would suggest you go to the principal and tell he or she what you have heard. This way the principal is aware of who the participants are. Why they are trying to get L in trouble and can handle the situation appropriately if they do attempt to follow through on their plan.


By doing so you need not involve yourself any further in this with your friends direct knowledge of your involvement. You do not place yourself at any risk by them towards you either.


Your friends are looking to punish L for what they believe is a hurt he did to their friend. They want him to be hurt so to speak. Revenge by this method is never the best way to handle something for it just means the other person will want revenge.


By giving your principal fair warning of what may happen. Your friends will only get themselves in trouble and probably have no idea of how it happened. That is the best way to handle the situation and not a bad way to get revenge as only the culprits get hurt.

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The age of consent in New Jersey is 16, but if you're 18 or older it is still illegal to have sexual relations with someone younger than 18, right?

So the age of consent in California is 18, but if you're 18 or older it is still illegal to have sexual relations with somene younger than 18, right?

My friend and I were just randomly discussing this and she had thought differently than me. Can anybody clear this up? What I've said above is what I was always taught in school. Thank you!

In regards to age of consent and sexual relations by someone older than 18 with someone younger than the age of consent or younger than 18. The laws get a little gray on this issue.


Each state treats this issue differently. Where I live if an 18 year old has relations with some one 14 he may possibly not be charged with statutory rape because there is a four year window. But the law also says a person under 16 may not consent to sexual relations. So it really depends on how and which law is applied as to whether a person in my example is prosecuted.


In my example I believe what the intent of the legislators is or was. Is that anyone above the age of consent but under 18 they may have sex with anyone 4 years older than them. If someone is over 4 years older; then the older person can be charged with a variety of sexual offences and child molestation.


I believe this is the intent of the laws in any state. But and this is the big one. All laws are interpretive and it is up to the Prosecutor, the Judges, Lawyers and Jurors to sort out the real meaning of the laws.


My advice is if you are 18 and going to or want to have sex with some one under 18. Find out what the age of consent is in that state and what their window is. Knowledge is not only power it is safety.

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We've been married 18 years, the last two have been difficult, and getting worse. Leaving is a last resort due to the financial and business obligations we have together. I know I am cold and distant, and don't want to be this way, but I just can't make myself warm up to my husband anymore. It's small things, and big things,things he does and doesn't do that make me crazy with anxiety. For instance one of them is belittling everything I say, he is against everything..and we need to be partners. We both work full time and also have a labor intensive farm business. I do most all of the work and he doesn't pull his weight, with that or anything really. Nothing is ever his fault, and I am never right. Counseling is not an option, he won't go and we can't afford it anyway. Any suggestions?

You don't say how long this has been going on. Married 18 years I'm sure your marriage didn't start out this way but has either degraded over a period of time, or has done so in a shorter more recent period of time.


In either case since counseling is not an option I will suggest you have your husband see his doctor. Your husband sounds a little bit like I was before I was diagnosed with depression. There are more factors that need to be considered in screening for depression but you have hit on at least two if them. This alone is worth having your husband screened for this illness.


While he is at the doctors also ask the doctor to check your husbands testosterone levels. The 18 year length of your marriage puts him in the age group were he could be loosing testosterone another cause for how he is acting and clinical depression symptoms.


Nothing says I am right or I am wrong. I'm not a doctor and I cannot make a diagnoses even if I was without examining your husband. If my uneducated guess is correct; either problem can be resolved with medication.


As far as the depression another guess would be what is called clinical depression. This is more a medical problem, not unlike diabetes where the body is not producing enough of one or both of the chemicals that help us keep depression in check. This is usually brought on by stress. I can see where running a farm business is very stressful.


His not pulling his weight as you said may be his way of coping with the pain and the other things a defence mechanism. I could be entirely wrong but before you throw the marriage out the window as some may advise. Have you husband see a doctor and be screened as I suggest.

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At school I smell like pee and I do not know what to do please help!

You do not say how old you are so I am going to guess two things. One you are female and two you have recently entered puberty.


As long as you are clean and wipe properly after using the bathroom what you smell is not pee. It is an odor generated by the new hormones floating around in your body. In time these odors or scents to be more correct will stabilize and you will most likely not notice them.


Each of us, men and women, the human animal, gives of a scent to attract the opposite sex just as wild animals do. Yours may be just a bit stronger at this time. Nothing to worry about and nothing to be ashamed of.


If I am correct about your age what you need to do is talk to your mom about this. There are feminine sprays on the market that will help cover these scents and make them more pleasant. I'm suggesting you talk to your mother so that she may help you chose one that will not irritate you.


One other thing you may consider is that pubic hair will hold in the odors or scents generated in that area. If you don't shave down there you might consider shavings for hygiene purposes. Something else to discus with your mother.


Just a side note here: I will try and answer any question anyone put to me to the best of my knowledge or ability to research. When it comes to questions such as yours or questions related to your sexual health, the sexual health of your sexual organ. I am a big supporter of going to your parents for proper advise and assistance.


There is nothing to be embarrassed about in going to your parents when something is wrong. Even when that something has to do with your sexual organs. Remember if you are a female mom has already gone through what you are going through and she is the best person to give you advise on anything you may experience. She also knows you better than total strangers do and can tell if something may need to be seen by a doctor.


Just for informational purposes I know going to dad may be embarrassing. Dad knows a lot more about women's sexual equipment than you may think. So if he is the only parent you can go to, then go to him.


As parents our primary purpose to our children is their health and safety. So if you have questions concerning any health issues, including sexual health. We should be the first ones you come to for the right answers.

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My byfriend and I are in our early 20's, we have been living together for a 1 1/2 yr already. Our sex life has been great but for the past couple days he has not veen able to reach orgasm and we dont know why! Can the flu have anything to do with this??

This happens to men from time to time. It is not anyone's fault It is a reaction to an external problem that he may or may not even be aware of. Problems or stress at school or work is about 95% of the cause for this problem.


When this happens, if it happens again. Try getting him to relax and see if you can get him to ejaculate by masturbating him (handjob). This usually works if the male can, at these times, simply lay back, relax and think only of his own pleasure. It may take longer than usual for him to cum but it is important to get him off so he knows he can cum.


Once you get him off talk to him. Find out if he is under any undo or unusual pressure. Find out if he is not feeling well. If he he is taking any new medications, another cause of this problem. When you find out the cause you can resolve the issue.


If it is new medication then one of two things. He either needs to give his body time to adjust to it; or he needs to see his doctor. If medication is causing this type of problem most doctors will either change the medication or go to a lower dose.


Something that onsets like this is generally stress related or because of some other condition that can be identified. If it continues for any length of time it might be a good idea to see a Urologist.

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I'm 13 years old and the boys have been asking me if I am a virgin I have been saying yes but I doont really know.I have had a cone of the bottem of the brush in my pussy and have had an orgasm like 50 times.then when I answer the question they say they want to do me and cum in my pussy.they are always touching me butt and saying I have a fat ass and they say when they see my ass there penis gets hard.what does this mean.and am I still a virgin.p.s. I had not have sex with anyone before.

By definition you are a virgin. Until a boys penis penetrates your vagina you will remain a virgin by definition.


Now for the grandfatherly lecture: You are 13, what you are doing with your hair brush is called masturbation. There is nothing wrong with this, it is all part of going through puberty and dealing with the hormones now going through your body.


What upsets me is you allowing boys at school groping you. You should not be allowing anyone to grope you or talk to you as they are. This is sexual harassment. Every school in this country has a zero tolerance for this.


You should tell a teacher and your parents what is happening with these boys. If you want you can give these boys one warning. If they continue to grope you then tell a teacher or the school principle and your parents. There is absolutely not reason for anyone student or teacher to be touching you especially on your private parts.


As for your question: Teenage males will get an erection about once every few minutes involuntarily because of the same hormones going through their bodies. Seeing a pretty girl like yourself will only cause it to happen more often. It is a lustful reaction they have no control of.

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I am WAY kinkier than my boyfriend and I've tried to talk to him about spicing it up a little bit because I'm frustrated ( I hvent had the big "O" in 8 months) I love him and he's good to me but he doesn't care enough to try, I'm starting to resent him, what should I do?

Zane has made some good points; I'll try to go a little further.


Stress, depression and overwork plays havoc on the male libido. Since you did not give your ages I can't assume you are adults or teenagers. So we can look at both ages as the problem you are having can differ with age of the male.


If your BF is a teenager the problem could very simply be he is out to get his own satisfaction. This is typical of young, under 20 males. They are quick on the trigger and have not fully learned the need for mutual satisfaction in lovemaking.

If your BF is older than 20 then the problem can be more of what I first stated, stress or depression. IF you truly love him this is something that you need to approach in a very loving a delicate matter as it hits on two things that effect him as a male. His ability to make love to you and the fact that he has a weakness.


Actually regardless of age the solution to both problems is communication and education. In any relationship we need to communicate; this includes not just our sexual needs but things that effect our daily life. You would be surprised how much better you can feel if you can unburden to someone who cares about you.


When it comes to depression there are all types. There is the type we all suffer from at sometime or another. It passes in a few days. Then their is clinical depression which usually requires medical intervention. Then their is manic depression. Manic Depression is a very severe form of depression that requires medication and sometimes hospitalization. Generally it is not something that is cured.


If your BF is suffering from depression it is probably one of the first two. What you need to do is to gently prod him to open up to you. To find out if he is depressed and how long this has been going on. If it has been sometime then you need to ask him to see a doctor for screening so he can get help and you two can be happier together. This is one part of communication.


The other part comes from explaining to each other your sexual needs and desires. We all have them but none of us are mind readers. All men fancy themselves great lovers, some think themselves god's gift to women. Fact is not all women are alike; in fact far from it.


This is where education comes in. We each need to teach the other how we liked to be touched, caressed, kissed. You may be more clitoral than vaginal, needing more clitoral stimulation. How am I as your boyfriend to know this if you don't tell me.


Maybe I like to have my sack sucked during oral sex? How are you to know this if I don't tell you? So you see the point I'm making. The time to tell each other this is either before going into the bedroom when your making out on the couch or maybe over dinner.


One thing is definite when it comes to sex. Both partners have to be consenting to whatever it is you do in the privacy of you bedroom. If either one is not consenting or is in anyway coerced into doing something the other wants to try it will not be fun and will be disappointing for both.


There is nothing strange or weird about anything sexual if you both consent to it. The weirdness comes in when one of you feels it is wrong, dirty or just plain something you don't want to do.


In short you need to talk to your boyfriend to see if there is anything bothering him either outside the relationship or with the relationship. Once you know that and find away to fix or relieve that problem you need to talk to each other about you individual sexual desires and needs. Then educate each other.

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When is the worse time to have sex

It really depends on what your meaning of "worse time is. If you mean when is most possible to get pregnant? Then that is when you are ovulating. This when the ovaries are expelling an egg. If I remember sex ed correctly it is in the middle of this cycle that it is the best time for a women to become pregnant.


If you have other meanings then please write back with more specifics. I will say this though if you have young children when to plan on having sex and yes planning is required for most spontaneity is gone. You have to expect to be interrupted. Children have a variety of needs that don't stop when they go to sleep.

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This is completely embarrassing to ask, but my boyfriend when we have sex seems to like to stick his finger into my butt and now it is EXTREMELY sore and when I use the bathroom it has like a horrible pain that I just can't really describe that almost made me cry. I don't know if it is just sore from him messing with it or if it's something different.

Tell your boyfriend to keep his fingers out of your butt. He is doing so because he is either watching too much or reading too much porn. Most pornography is telling him girls like to have their butts played with and even penetrated by a finger or two. Some girls really do love this others hate it. There is no middle ground on this. The same goes for anal sex.


If you boyfriends fingers are not lubricated and your butt hole is not lubricated this can be painful for you. If you tense up and try to keep his finger from penetrating you it will hurt. Most likely the reason you are sore afterwards.


In order for sex to be enjoyable for both people you need to communicate and be in agreement on what you do sexually. You do not want or like being penetrated in your anus so tell him no to any annul play. He must stop when the word no or stop is used. If he does not regardless of how consenting you were when sex started he is now in the realm of the word RAPE. Because when the word no or stop is used you are withdrawing your consent. This is something you both need to understand.


Mutual consent makes for pleasurable sex.

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I am 17/F
I am a senior in high school
I am 5'8
I weigh 110 lbs.
yes, I am underweight
so i am tall, and skinny
and i have small boobs. and i hate it.
i wish they were bigger. I've asked a simmilar question and was told to be happy with my body and blah blah blah not to worry what other people think, but this isnt about other people this is more for myself. i cant afford a boob job, nor would i probably ever do that, but im not sure. do you think maybe they're still growing? i only wear an A and when i push on them (usually anytime) its kind of sore. and sometimes feels like a little harder. not like squishy normal boobs that you can just grab. (the only way i can explain it) so what should i do?

Puberty can last into your early 20's. So yes it is possible your breasts will grow again. The fact that you are underweight may be a contributing factor in the size of your breasts. The description of how your breasts feels and the fact the you say they do not feel normal says you should see a GYN for a breast evaluation.


If there is a medical problem that can be resolved then that should solve your problem. If there is a medical problem at all it needs to be determined and acted upon. Breast enhancement surgery is always an option that could be available to you. One you should make in consultation with your family doctor and GYN.


Being a small breasted woman who is skinny and has a small skeletal frame is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Large breasts are heavy and can cause a great deal of skeletal problems for you. This is why I suggest consulting your doctors before undergoing enhancement surgery. You don't want to exchange one minor non problem for a major real problem.


I know a lot of men who prefer small breasted women. There is a saying among men that anything over a handful is a waste. Sure we may stare at big breasted women, but who wants to listen to your wife or girl friend complain about them all the time. A small breasted women who dresses appropriately can be more sexy than a big breasted woman who can look rather trashy at times. So think about what you have vs what other girls have and what they say about them.


My nieces are both big breasted. Both want and will have reduction surgery because of the weight of their breast causing them back problems.

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Hi There I'm 18 and have a really fucked up life at the moment i just want to find a quick and easy way out :( i want to die like right now and i want to know a quick and not so painful way!

You won't find that type of advice on this website, we are into helping the living and those that want to live work out their problems. Just for the record their is no easy, quick and painless way to kill yourself. As a member of a fire department rescue squad that is one fact I can assure you of.


As someone old enough to be your grandfather I can also help you with some patented grandfatherly advice. There is nothing you could possible have done or so screwed up that is worth killing yourself over. You use the words: "at the moment." This time will pass and you can move on. Whatever the problem is; can be resolved, repaired or a compromise solution acceptable to all can be found.


If you still feel like hurting yourself please do one of the following.


Pick up the phone and call 911; ask for help and help will be sent to you.


Call this hotline number: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
This is the National Suicide prevention Hotline. The people there will talk with you as long as needed and then find help for you in your own neighborhood.


Go to your nearest hospital emergency room and ask for help.


Any of the three options I've given you will help you resolve whatever crisis you are in at the moment. Then they will help you find someone in your neighborhood to help you through this crisis and find a long term solution to the problem if needed.


I am also here if you wish to write to me and you may do so in a private message. I am not a professional but I will do my best to help you.

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My girlfriend bought me a watch for my birthday and told me it was really expensive. I am really into watches and I do like the watch itself.

However she eventually told me it was limited edition and it was worth £800. I've recently found out that the watch is actually only worth £250.

Should I be upset about this? I know its the thought that counts and I'm still chuffed about her buying me this watch but why has she lied to me?

I don't have an answer to your question but think about this.


Is it possible someone took advantage of her; selling her that watch and telling her it was worth more than it was and charging her more. I mean if she is not into watches as you are is it possible some unscrupulous sales person sold her a less expensive watch an pocketed the difference.

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why do I keep isolating myself from everybody, when I need help?

why do I keep refusing help?

why do I keep doing the same self destructive behaviors over and over?

why can't I get out of this cycle? I've been in it for the past 2 years

I used to be a good student

and now I don't know what's wrong with me

it's like I've become okay with bending the rules..expecting that teachers will take work late

skipping school because going to school is just painful

nobody in my town even really understands me, I don't really have friends here

I've lived here for nearly 2 years and I'm still an outsider.

all my friends are on the internet, or live considerable distances from me

I need to see a therapist but it's so hard to try and look one up...it's like I'm stuck

I keep making stupid decisions that aren't even in my own self-interest

I'm pretty sure my teachers hate me, and with good reason, as I've skipped doing homework in a lot of classes

I don't know why

I have a lot of free time, everyday. I don't have friends so I never hang out with anyone

I literally spend everyday on the internet and it's such a bad habit but I don't know how to break it

After a sh** day of school it's nice to relax on the internet..

when I'm at school I keep telling myself I'll do different today, I'll do different today

and then I come home and go on the internet, and I end up trying to cram homework the next day at school

and this has been happening the past 2 years

it's just so irritating and it makes me feel terrible to even look on sites like facebook

cause everyone's showing pictures with all their friends and going to parties and everything

and I haven't even done any of that in the past 2 years. and I'm a senior

the whole high school experience has just been terrible for me, so it just angers me to see people having a good time with it

and then they complain, when at least they have a good friend they can go to movies with, have sleepovers, hang out at their house

I'd do anything for a friend like that, a best friend, something I haven't had since my old town

but then again, I don't try here. cause everyone's so different from me, with all their country stuff here. i'm just a girl from the east coast. I don't get the country stuff, whatsoever

nobody gets my music, nobody has my interests, what am I supposed to talk about

i remember when I actually used to want to come to school, to love it

I didn't even apply for any college yet, when I have dreams for my future career that involve a lot of college

I just can't write essays and apply to a college when I don't think I'm good right now

how would my teachers here write good recommendations

my sister has mental problems

and it's hard on my family

i miss having my sister

it's like she's a different person after she just started "hearing voices" and what not

and then my parents just dismiss any problem I have, and say that I'm not sick like my sister, so I should do well

they don't know half the problems I have

I don't let them

they'd just criticize me, because that's what they do

and then it just makes me feel more ashamed in myself, and makes me procrastinate more

I don't even know.. it's hard to write this here

it doesn't feel like a relief.. it's like I'm just bracing myself for a negative reaction

but I'm just sick of myself for doing this.. why do I keep doing this, ruining my life

how do I stop

I guess you could call me a perfectionist, too. I can't turn in work unless I feel it's my personal best. so a lot of times it's very daunting to start work, especially big projects. People say it's wrong but I just don't see any logical reason why you shouldn't turn in your best work. But then again a lot of other things I'm doing are illogical

sometimes it's so overwhelming that I don't even do the work.. like because I don't do it, it can't not be perfect. and as my grades dive lower and lower the need to make things perfect increases. my grades dropping for no reason, since I have all the time to do work. I have so much make up work. how will I graduate. why am I so irresponsible

It sounds like a lot of things have happened to you in the last few years. You've moved from the city to the country, a major life style change that is hard to make. Your sister has become ill taking your parent focus away from you and totally on to her. Possibly distorting what they see and hear from you as more of say sibling rivalry for their attention, which it is not.


You are under a great deal of stress. The stress of moving, the cultural change, trying to make new friends and school work just to name the obvious. Then it sounds like you were close to your sister and now she is not there to confide in.


If I'm hearing you right then you are suffering from stress related depression. This is not a mental illness as in how your sister is suffering. This is more a medical issue although it is recommended that you see a psychiatrist for medication as they are the best doctor to prescribe for this condition.


The reason being is hormonal. You need more of one or two hormones secreted in the brain to help you deal with the stress. You also need talk therapy with a trained therapist. This will help you deal with the stress, find the root cause of the depression and learn to deal with it.


Unlike manic depression, this type of depression generally resolves itself once the stressors are dealt with and or removed. I think in your instance once you deal with the stress and your parents understand how badly you are hurting the depression will be resolved though a little help from medication and therapy would be of help.


You need to talk with your parents and let them know how badly you feel and that you do need some help. If you can't talk to them then talk to a trusted teacher, school Principal or guidance counselor.

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How can i express my self to her in words that i love her so much that i want to be with her

Gaining weight fast is just as bad as going on a crash diet to loose weight. I'm sure you have a reason to want to gain weight. IF it is a valid reason then I suggest you consult your doctor and let the doctor assist you by prescribing how many calories a day it is safe for you to take in.


Taking on to many calories and gaining too much weight at one time puts undo stress on your body and vital organs. This can damage those organs and lead to things like liver and kidney damage or even heart failure.


The proper way to gain or lose weight is to do so under a doctors supervision.

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My doctor told me i needed to take multivitamin and vitamin d, but recently when I take the multivitamin shortly after I get dizzy and nauseous. A couple of occasions I dry gagged. Why are the vitamins making me do that. I have been taking them for over a year now and this has never happened to me? What does this mean? Should I stop taking it and try something else?

Since you have been taking the vitamins this long it may or may not be the vitamins. Have you changed brands. Did you go from an all Natural vitamin to a synthetic vitamin. If so this may be the problem. Then I would suggest you go back to the brand or type of vitamin you were taking.


If it is not any of the above then it is probably something else like a mild stomach bug that possibly the vitamins irritated. If it continues then see your doctor.

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i had unprotected sex when i was ovulating but he used the 'pull out' method what are the chances of me getting pregnant and how soon will i start having symptoms if i am?

The pull out method is probably the worst method of birth control there is. If I was to but odds on your chances of getting pregnant I would put them somewhere at 90% or better.


Even though your partner my not have ejaculated in you. What about the precum. Neither he or you would have felt this, yet it would have happened. There is enough semen in the precum to get you pregnant.


As for your other questions. It differs from woman to woman but you should start to feel something by the time your next period should arrive. If it doesn't arrive take a home test. If it is positive see your GYN for a blood test.

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I am 46 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years. We recently got into an arguement and for the first time ever, he said he would hit me and throw me in my car. But he didn't. Is this a sign? I love him very much and he says he loves me. We are both divorced. He does not want to get married. I would like to someday and he said that he might too. He said that I am very special and he has never felt the way he feels about me before. He went through a nasty divorce and has dated many women. I was married for over 20 years, raised 4 sons and own my own home. He has only worked 5 weeks since I met him, he makes me drive alot even though he owns 3 cars, 2 motorcycles, jet skis and a drag bike. I struggle and I feed him, cook for him, do everything for him(grocery shopping). I have never asked him for a dime. what should I do? thank you so much for just listening, I have 2 sons in the Marines and they are both being deployed soon...

I have to agree with Zane. No one has the right to threaten anyone with physical harm. In legal terms you have been a subject of assault. Which makes makes him subject to a possible a felony charge.


Frankly I think he is using you and his threat to hit you is a warning sign you need to take heed of. You are doing everything for him and he is doing nothing for you. Seems to me to be a very one sided relationship.


Your a grown women and far be it from me to tell you what to do. If you were my sister, I would be pushing you to think about yourself and find someone who loves you for yourself and not what you can provide for him. Someone who would never threaten you or harm you. You have to decide what is in your best interest though this is what my advise would be.


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Why do they say "high school is the best 4 years of your life?" Why? Isn't that only in the movies, cause everyone in high school says its all homework and tests and extremely hard. Why is it the best?
Im 13/f and i go to high school this year but next school year (in 8th grade)

It a phrase that has stood the test of time mostly because it is one that is used and seen in retrospect.


We all have different experiences in high school. Some of us hated high school while we were in high school. But our mind play funny tricks on us. We forget the things, over time, that we real disliked and only remember the good things.


Just like when I was in the Air Force. If anyone asks me I'll tell them I had a great time. But when I really think about it those four years were a terrible waste of my time. Yes I served my country and I'm proud I did. As for having fun, lets put it this way. Some of the things I had to see were not things I wrote home about and I guess I have tried to block them from my memory and only remember the good things.


High school is the same way. Years from now you talk about dating and the fun and friends you had. The joy of having more adult freedoms your parents gave you as you grew older. You will forget all about the, the homework, the tests, PE and the nasty teachers except for the fun you made of them.


It is very much a retrospective phrase that every parent and the movies find away to work into your life.

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