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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

A friend was rapped and she says she wants to kill the baby in the womb without abortion but with tablet. But she's 8 months pregnant

Not only is what she thinking very dangerous to her, in some states she could be charged with murder.

It is well document at trial where a pregnant women is killed, be it in a motor vehicle accident or by means of a violent act. The perpetrator(s)are being charged with two crimes. The killing of the mother is one and the killing of the fetus is the other. The guilty verdicts are still on appeal for the killing of the fetus but have been up held in the higher courts.

Your friends best options at this late date is only one. To have the baby and give it up for adoption. There is a couple out their somewhere who will give the child a loving home. No matter how your friend feels the child deserves that.

Your friend bears no fault for being raped, no women does. The child does not deserve to be aborted at a time when it could survive outside the womb and to do so is also illegal. The child did not ask to be conceived and certainly did not ask to be the product of rape.

Since it is and will come into this world just as innocent as its mother. It is in the best interest of all that the baby be put up for adoption.

Your friend also need psychological help to get over the trauma of the rape and having to bear a child. There is an organization called RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a hotline to help people like your friend find the proper help so they can move on with their lives. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. They also have a website you can look at and contact them through.

http://www.advicenators.com/answer.php?q=602580

Please ask your friend to contact them. I know they can help her and keep reminding her that being raped was not her fault.

I hope your friend has charged the person who raped her for his crime. Once the baby is born the DNA testing will help with the conviction.

I have been on here before about this sort of question but its a little different this time. I have a step son who lives with my in laws. They raised him because my husband got a girl pregnant at 17. His mother was wanting another child so she told them that she would take guardianship of him so she could have her insurance cover him they agreed. For years he has wanted him back she absolutely refuses. My step son has a lot of problems so right now we are okay with him being there KIND OF. I think he is being abused emotionally.

- Their house is disgusting. They don't clean anything except the living room. My father in law sleeps in another room. My mother in law and step son sleep on the couches.

- He drinks soda 24/7. He ONLY eats junk food, chicken nuggets, pizza, popcorn, green beans. nothing else at all.

- He gets in trouble for fighting at school.

- He plays basketball and is constantly shoving the other kids

Now he is crying all the time over everything. My father in law screams until he is blue in the face about every little thing if he goes to get a drink during practice which he does every few minutes he says get your ass out there now. if he talk back instead of time out they scream at him

if he throws a fit in the store they get him what he wants.

It doesn't seem bad but it is like this 24/7 not just when he misbehaves its all day all the time misbehaving. I have to keep my son away from him because he emotionally and physically was abusing him. if we get together they have to stay away from each other. my son thinks hes being nice but he has Aspergers Syndrome.

What to do???

Your husband does not have to see it for your to take action to protect your stepson. You do not need your husbands permission to contact CPS. If you feel the child is in danger you call CPS. IF they agree then you husband will have to take notice.

The only thing I can think of at the moment is probably the same answer I gave you last time.

From what you have written this sounds like a good case to get child protective services involved in. If the home is as disgusting as you say it is? If the child is not getting proper an nutritious meals offered to him? If there are uncontrolled behavioral problems? Then CPS can and will remove the child from the home and place him in foster care.

You, your husband or anyone else for that matter can contact CPS whenever they feel a child is in danger. That person does not have to be a relative. You could offer to foster the child for CPS though at the moment I am not recommending it unless you are home, not working, to monitor your stepson. My reason is that you say your stepson abuses your son. I don't think it is fair to your son to bring your stepson into his life unless you or your husband is there 24/7 to monitor his behavior. That though is your choice.

If CPS does remove the child from his grandparents home; your husband should have a lawyer ready to go to court to petition for custody. If this what you and your husband want then you need to strike while the fire is hot and CPS is on your side.

I'm 13 years old. I started my 1st period in December. My period legit comes every other week. What should I do to stop it?

Okay some I'm a guy, but I'm married and I know about this stuff just like your mother and father do.

First: When you first get your period they are very irregular. It takes time for your body to get into a rhythm. Though every other week does sound a bit unusual.

Second: There is nothing you can do to stop your period. If there is nothing medically wrong your body will stop when it self-adjusts to a regular rhythm.

Third: While this site can be a good source of information, it is not the best place to come for problems such as you have asked about. Your period is a natural bodily function just as going to the bathroom is. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Both your mom and your dad are very much aware of a woman's menstrual cycle and possible problems. Of course mom is more knowledgeable than dad and you will probably be more comfortable talking to her. Mom is the one you should be talking to not searching for answers from us. We don't know you like your parents do. All we can recommend is you see a doctor, which is probably a good idea and something mom may suggest once you tell her.

IF I pay property taxes for 3 years or better can I Acquire the property if the orginial owner does not want the property?

There are all sorts of legal issues involved her that need to be addressed by a lawyer.

I am not a lawyer though some of the questions I can think that would need to answered are:

Was their a tax lien on the property?

Was the property abandoned?

Who is the property titled to and where is that person?

There are other ways to acquire property such as through tax sales by the State, County or City. Just paying the taxes on a piece of property is not something I am aware of as away to acquire property.

You should check with a Real Estate Attorney.

This boy has been wanting me for a long time now for many years He's been trying to sex me . . . 8-10 years Well recently I gave in & Gave it up ... It jus didnt feel right tho . . . Besides us having relations We are very good friends He knows alot abt me as well I know alot abt him . . . I dont want to get attached all crazy like the rest of them so what do I do to subdue the feelings from reaching that point?

And another thing how long after having sex can I take a pregnancy test bc umm I dnt remember him pulling out ??

There are three things in your question I would like to address.

1) The pull out method of birth control: This is the worst form of birth control. Even if the boy does not ejaculate in you. You are not accounting for the pre-ejaculate or pre-cum which can contain a large amount of sperm. Remember all it takes is one sperm reaching your egg for you to become pregnant. The male does not feel the pre-cum emitting from him during sex. Pre-cum is a lubricant and acid neutralizer which allows the sperm in the ejaculate a healthier environment.

2)Their is an old saying about lending friends money that is probably just as true about having sex with a friend. Once done you generally lose that friend.

3) What to do about this: It is always hard to close the barn door once it has been opened. What you can do if you enjoyed the sex is to try and be friends with benefits. If you feel that is not possible then you need to explain to him that while the sex was good; you do not want to ruin the friendship you have by starting a relationship that has no chance of going anywhere.

That of course is a real ego deflector for him and has as much of a chance of ending your friendship as anything else you could say. Telling him you see him more as a brother is a little better but not much.

Whatever you tell him now that you have had sex and he may see the chance at a relationship that he may want with you is going to hurt him. You need to find the best way you can to let him know you value his friendship and that sex devalues that friendship.

4) Home test kits. Best thing to do is look at the instructions on the back of the test kit or ask the pharmacist.

Its been 3 years since I last had sex was practicing celibacy We'll I gave in for Vday !!Now he went down ate it like a monster & then went to go fck was hard at first to get it in but it got it Felt good after so long bt he got his I didnt get mine Whats that abt ? What do I do if there is a next time ..

From what you have written the only conclusion I can draw is that you need to find a more considerate sex partner.

It would help to know your ages as that plays into the what, when and how of your question. A guy can get off almost anywhere at any time. For a guy a wham, bam, thank you mam is just fine. Especially if your teenagers doing it and not wanting to get caught. For the guy it is all in the release. Frankly a hand job would do the same for him for the most part.

For the girl it is more involved than that. There has to be an aspect of love, trust, comfort and security. She needs to feel his love through foreplay. Your description of; "Now he went down ate it like a monster," does not sound like much foreplay. So the love and trust are missing. This leaves comfort and security.

When you made love was it in someplace you felt safe and was it someplace you were comfortable. If either one or both of these were missing that is three or four strikes against you getting off. Then if you were worried about birth control as well your chances of a happy ending continue to decline.

Last but not least, and they will kick me out of the men's club for this; boys/men really do not know how to make love to a women. As I said they are in it for themselves. Women have to teach us to please them. To be totally true men also have to teach women how to please them. Sex is a two way street; both partners deserve to get pleasure from it. The problem comes in that neither truly knows what the others needs are when it comes to sex and are generally too embarrassed to tell the other.

Next time make sure you have a comfortable place to make love and that you won't be found or intruded upon. Then if your partner seems to be in a hurry slow him down and show him how to make love to you. Otherwise your in for another fck instead of lovemaking.

Okay so, I reaaallly like this guy. Problem: He suffers from depression and anxiety/ panic attacks. And I really want to help him, but i don't know what to do. Please help!

I think it is great that you want to help your friend. Most young people suffering as your friend is find themselves without friends for young adults don't understand what he is going through therefore they runaway.

The best thing you can do for him is what you are already doing, which is being there to offer your support. What he is suffering from requires medical treatment and medication, in most cases to overcome or control these problems. The medication itself is going to make him feel somewhat strange. As if he is walking around in a fog or a bit out of step with the rest of the world.

This is where your support comes in. Just be there to assure him everything is okay. That he is not as he may feel. A little TLC will go along way in making him feel better. Just holding him when he is anxious or having a panic attack will go along way in helping him cope.

For other ideas you might try asking his parents what you can do to help. I'm sure they will appreciate anything you are willing to do for him.

13/f
I was with my cousin today hes 18 and he was touching in the wrong places. I told him to stop, but he said that he knows I like it. Now I feel really dirty what should i do.

As I am an adult please accept my sincere apology that this has happened to you and understand that you did nothing wrong. Your cousin is a child molester. If he did this to you he is doing it to other children and he must be stopped.

What you need to do is tell your parents. If not both mom and dad at least tell mom. I can understand you may be embarrassed but please remember you have done nothing wrong.

If for some reason you feel you cannot tell your parents then tell a trusted teacher. You can also call 911 yourself and tell the police. You know no one is suppose to touch you in your private places.

This boy may be your cousin, being your cousin doesn't give him the right to touch you anywhere without your permission or in your private places. By law you are not old enough to give him permission to touch you in your private places so he cannot use that as a defense as to why he touched you. I know you didn't give him permission but he might say you did to defend himself so be prepared.

No matter what he says he is in the wrong and he needs to face the consequences of his actions. You have been harmed in a manner that has legal consequences. This is up to you and your parents to decide. I know he is family but if he is touching you, who else is he touching. Your parents need to call the police and report him. Your cousin in touching you is a child molester.

i am a 16 year old girl, i recently lost my virginity 14 days ago to be precise. im not in a relationship it was a one night stand, we also used protection but im not taking any other form of contraception. im worried that the condom may have split as we were both very drunk. iv also been experiencing pains and cramps in my lower abdomen, im constantly bloated and have been for days, found blood spots in my underwear, have back ache and experiencing nausea. the first thing that came to my head was 'im pregnant'. i came off my period 2 days before i had sex with the boy, i know he ejaculated and im not due for my period until another week or so. i would like to know if these are signs of early pregnancy?? please help me i do not want to wait to see if i miss a period

It is really hard to say as everyone's body is different and experiences things differently. You should try a home pregnancy test.

As a parent I will offer you this advice. If you are not pregnant you are really lucky. The first thing you did wrong was to allow yourself to loose your natural inhibitions by drinking. There is a reason young people are restricted from drinking and you are now experiencing one of those reasons.

I'm not going to lecture you on whether you should be having sex. I think had you not drank you would not have had sex. Now that you have you need to think about will you have sex in the future. If the answer is yes or maybe then you need to think about birth control.

By federal law known as HIPPA you do not need parental permission to request birth control from a doctor. Your family doctor may say differently because of the relationship the doctor has with your family but the law says differently.

The law says anyone over the age of 14 may seek medical treatment in total confidentiality. Meaning you and the doctor make speak openly on any subject or anything that is bothering you. None of what you speak to the doctor about, what the doctor examines you for, treats you for may be told to your parents or anyone else without you written permission. This law was expressly written to cover the female reproductive system. So if you want birth control you can ask your doctor for it or go to any women's clinic to get it.

Chances are you are not pregnant. But, every women is fertile during different periods during their menstrual cycle. There is the chance you were fertile and if the condom did break you could have gotten pregnant.

My advice is to take a home pregnancy test. If it is positive go to your doctor or women's clinic for a blood test.

I woke up at 3:00 this morning and my throat was sore. It started being sore yesterday and I also get shivering even though I am warm. But that has mostly stopped. My eyes were burning for a few minutes also. My mom just got over the flu, did I catch it? Please offer some home remedies if possible. Thanks! :)Oh and I am out of honey so I can't use that.

It sure sounds like the flu. The best thing for the flu is to get plenty of rest and drink plenty of clear liquids.

Clear broth type soups, water. Something called "Smart Water", or Gatorade if you have the runs is very good for you. Gatorade has a lot of sugar, Smart Water does not. Tea is not that good as it constricts blood vessels,but a little won't hurt.

how to steal from hollister

Do you really expect us to answer that question? If you do send us your name and address and the location of the nearest store so we can alert the proper authorities that you are preparing to commit a crime.

If your a juvenile and think even if you get caught you will get away with it, think again. You never actually get away from your criminal records. They follow you for life. The only thing a juvenile record protects you from is some one finding out what you were convicted of not that you have a criminal history.

Yes, a juveniles criminal record is suppose to hidden. But has become ever easier for people to find them and open them. Just listen to the evening news once in a while.

Don't be stupid. IF you cannot afford to pay for something then you don't need it. If you do need it there are other, Lawful ways of obtaining it.

I've recently started seeing a guy that I really like. He treats me well and I have a really good time with him. Recently we (as part of my friendship group) had a discussion about sex and he confessed to having had a very large number of sexual parters (150+), being a member of several swingers club & websites and going to lots of 'sex parties'.
He says that whenever he is in a relationship, he is monogamous, but that he just enjoys sex and doesn't see anything wrong with it. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I can't help feeling that this relationship has no potential for two reasons: a) he doesn't seem to attach any meaning to sex [whereas I do], b) I don't feel that I will be enough to satisfy him in the long term.
Really I'm just looking for advice about what to do, and how to broach the subject if talking about it seems to be the best option!

I do feel there is a difference between sex and love. That does not mean I would ask my wife to join a swingers group. Whether you will be enough for him is not the issue here. There is a lot more to this than just sex or monogamy.

The biggest issue to confront is the the issue of 150 partners. In this day and age that is a lot of past partners to ask anyone to crawl into bed with. Which is what in essence you are doing when you have sex with someone. You are not only having sex with them but their previous partners as well. Can you be certain that he used proper protection with each one? That he does not have a dormant std? This is your life you are talking about and this is a question you must ask yourself.

While it may be possible to separate love and lust. At some point he may want more, meaning meaningless sex. You have already stated meaningless sex does not interest you. How would you handle this if you were in a committed relationship or married?

The first question for me is the biggest problem. I, even though I'm a male and as most women tell us when it comes to women we think with our penis. I don't think no matter how beautiful she may be or how intellectually I may be attracted to her; more than the normal amount of sex partners would be a turnoff to me. When your talking 150 previous partners I think I would be looking for the exit door. In fact I don't think I know I would.

In today's world for either a male or female to expect to find a virgin at what I believe is your age, is asking a lot. Most of people will marry someone with past sexual partners just how many past partners is acceptable is a personal and individual question.

My advise would be not to get involved as you will only end up hurting yourself.

Hi everyone i'm 23 yrs old and a young mom i have a situation and would like some input,I've been going over this so many times and don't know what to think.Today my boyfriend of 2yrs and myself got into a heated argument and I wanted to go home (we live apart but stay over at times) anyway i got all my things threw it in his truck and in the process scratched the interior leather roof of his truck and he flipped out our 3 month old was strapped in the back during all this and i was sitting in the back with her . He got out and started calling me a bitch and to get out i refused because of our daughter was still strapped in and he tried pulling me out and when i didn't get out he punched me twice in the stomach out of anger of what i did.My question is he going to do it again, am i in the wrong for starting it by throwing my things ?and should i stay for the sake our daughter? I'm still in shock and don't know what to think of the situation its the first time something like this happened.

I agree with Zane, you need to file a police report and to ask them for help in how to get a restraining order against him.

To answer your questions: "is he going to do it again, am i in the wrong for starting it by throwing my things."

Yes he will do it again. If he hit you once he will hit you again for. 1) He has anger management issues. 2) Once an abuser always an abuser. If he hit you once he will do so again.

You may have been wrong for throwing things into his truck. I really can't say yes or no as I was not there. What I can say is right or wrong is no reason for him to hit you.

What I will say is staying with someone for the sake of a child or children is always wrong. Children are very perceptive even one as young as yours is. They know when something is wrong and it does effect then. Better to be form a broken happy home then from a dysfunctional home.

Make sure you see a lawyer and get the proper court orders to have your boyfriend ordered to support child as required by the laws in your state. You also want to request the court order supervised visitation if he asks for visitation. by filing a police report you will show his violent tendency and the need for supervised visitation.

Im 24yrs old female partnered for 8 years two children an he hits me he has had a aggressive upbringing and a motocross crash Which left him with a fused ankle,pain and a anger problem I love him an don't want to leave him, I don't never want anyone else but my old partner back should I leave him

You are in a ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. No one has the right to hit another. This is something we all learned as small children. As boys are mothers told us over and over we can never hit a women.

I understand he is in pain. I suffer from chronic pain as a result of an auto accident that should have killed me. That doesn't give me the right to hit my wife and I have never in 40 years of marriage ever raised a hand in anger to her and never will. I know what pain feels like, I know how it makes you feel. I also know there are way to deal with it that will make the pain tolerable.

If he is hitting you because he is in pain then you either get out of the relationship and take your children with you or he agrees to the following:

1)He seeks treatment for his pain from a pain management center. Most Hospitals have a pain management center, which is run by staff anesthesiologists.

The one I am treated at is attached to a medical school and teaching Hospital. My Doctor is an Assistant Professor of Anesthesiology at the Medical School and a staff anesthesiologists at the hospital. If there is medical school near you I would start there.

2)Pain causes depression and depression causes pain. I've learned this in my treatments. Your partner not only needs therapy for pain management by a psychologist for anger management as well.

The pain management center I visit makes provides a complete course of treatment. If they accept you as a patient then you agree to follow their treatment plan which includes actual treatment of the injuries as well as physical therapy and mental health therapy with a staff psychologist to learn to accept whatever disability one may have as a result of the injuries. How to deal with them, the depression one may be suffering and in your partners case; his anger management issues.

If he is unwilling to seek treatment that will help him feel better then your only option is to leave him.

So doctors are around sick people like all day long, and they never seem to get sick. Why is this? And if they do something to prevent getting sick could you tell me what because I wanna know. Thanks! :D

Doctors, Nurses, Paramedics, EMTs and other health professionals do get sick, we as patients just don't see them when they are sick for they try not to see patients and infect them with whatever is bothering them.

My wife and son both work in the medical field. My don is a paramedic/firefighter who answers 911 calls. He rarely knows what he is walking in on until he gets there. He and others paramedics take proper precautions such as cloves, masks and gowns when required. The use hand sanitizers. They try to eat well, rest well, and they get the proper immunizations to protect themselves.

My wife works in the clerical are of medicine. She works with the doctors and nurse who carry the different germs to her office when they visit. She and her office personnel also try to eat right, get proper immunizations and plenty of rest. The doctors and nurse follow the same way.

Taking proper precautions can limit your chances of getting sick. Proper immunizations. Washing your hands often, use of hand sanitizers and getting proper rest and exercise will help you stay healthy.

I'm not good at dealing with this sort of things, so I need help.
I left my facebook account open and my mom went on and read all my messages and replied to all saying I was grounded and wasn't allowed friends till I am 18, which is two years from now. I think it's unfair that she went through ALL MY STUFF. Without my permission.

That's what happens when you leave your facebook open for others to see and post on. Was mom right to look? Was mom right to post on your account?

These are tricky questions. As someone of your grandparents age I am troubled by your question. I do believe you have certain rights to privacy. Communicating with your friends would be one of those rights. What did mom see when she read your messages to cause her to say you are grounded? For instance did she find out you are sexually active? Was this something she was looking for and took the opportunity to answer her question by invading your privacy?

If she indeed found out you are sexually active, which is the only reason I can think of to ground you until your 18. Then the issue becomes one of parental concern over privacy. It is also a legal issue.

The legal issue has to do with the age of consent in your state. In some states the age of consent is as young as 16 which means you can consent to having sex though you are still a minor. What this does is eliminate the statutory rape concerns.

Does the age of consent mean your parents have no right to forbid you to have a sex life or that you have a right to a sex life? This is a whole other issue that if it was to be decided in a court of law? I think would come down on the side of the parents. For you are still a minor and they by law are responsible for your health, safety and welfare.

This leaves the invasion of your privacy. Does moms have the right to read your diary or look at your private communications. The age of cyber communication does muddy the issue somewhat as once you put something into cyberspace it is there for anyone to view. Moms taking advantage of a situation where she could view a controlled site or controlled communications may have put her on the other side of the line. I say may because somewhere in her rights as a parent if you have given her reasonable cause for concern? Then she has the right to do what she has to do to protect you from yourself.

I know, not what you want to hear. Lacking knowledge of what mom may have seen and why she did what she did. I have to draw my own conclusion from her actions. Yes it would have been better if she had asked permission. The question then becomes; would you have let her?

You have every right to be upset that mom posted on your account. This was wrong of her and she should apologize for doing so and remove her posting, if you have not already done so. Her posting was a form of punishment. Punishment should always be private and not public. This was embarrassing to you. I don't believe in embarrassing ones child in front of there peers, then again I'm not your parent.

You need to speak with your mother about this. I'm not sure how to make this right, if it can be made right. The age of cyberspace is relatively new. How can a posting really be seen as coming from her or you. That is the real question here?

my boyfriend wants to do anal but i dont know if its a good idea. i need help!

I have some basic rules that I give out when it comes to these types of questions.

The first one of course is that you are old enough and mature enough to be engaging in this type of adult sexual relations.

After answering that question the following is my advise to all.

Sex between two CONSENTING ADULTS is a beautiful and wonderful thing. The operative word here is CONSENTING, meaning both partners have to want to partake in any particular act. If either partner has any reservations about any sexual act it should not be done.

Whatever you and your partner consent to do in the privacy of your bedroom is never weird or depraved as long as their is mutual consent. It matters not what others may think or do. They are not you and they are not in your bedroom. The operative or key factor is the words MUTUAL CONSENT.

You seem to have reservations about anal sex. That to me says that for now you and your boyfriend should not consider exploring that area of sex. Should you decide you want to try anal sex you have to make your boyfriend understand and you must be confident that he will stop if you say stop. Stop means stop right then not wait, not give it a minute, it means stop now. If he doesn't stop the consensual sex becomes rape. Make sure he understands this.

Anal sex is something you are going to either love or hate. There is no in between. It is also something you should not enter into if you have reservations as it requires you to be completely relaxed.

My friend treats her parents badly. She wants me to help her, but I don't know how. She treats them badly because of the things they do. Please help!

P.S. She doesn't hit them

To really give you any help we need more information then just treating them badly. One can be abusive to their parents without hitting them.

Just in case we are talking about elder abuse the following URL will help you find a hotline for elder abuse in your state: http://www.nccafv.org/state_elder_abuse_hotlines.htm#md. These hot-lines are available 24/7 for help.

If you do write back please include her parents ages, best guess is okay and your friends age as well. Also some specifics as to what she does to treat them badly. Then we can try and give you some specific help.

okayy... welll! my boyfriend and i were making love today, and we wore a condom. and then like 15 or 20 minutes later we were fooling around again and we were playing with new posistions and didn't use a condom. but he didnt' cum inside me... i was just curious as to could this make me pregnant?

The quick answer to your question is yes.

Zanes answer to your question is correct. Also there is the matter of precum which is the lubricant the male excretes during sex. This happens without him even feeling it.

Precum is not an ejaculation it is a lubricant to make sex more comfortable for both partners. The precum has enough semen in it to make a women pregnant.

You may want to consider getting a plan B pill. In the future never let a boyfriends penis near your vagina unless he is wearing a condom.

14 (almost 15) female

My boyfriend and I have been dating officially for over a month now, but we've liked each other for a few years and we have been good friends for a long time. You probably think fourteen is too young to have a serious relationship, but I politely disagree.

My problem is that ever since the day we announced we were going out, it seems like everyone I meet has to put their two cents in. At school dances, people we hardly know watch us slow dance and take pictures while exclaiming how cute we are. Every time I speak to one of my relatives on the phone, they make rude jokes or snide comments. Most of my so-called "friends" make crude jokes and try to set the rules of our relationship.

These may not seem like major issues, but they do add up. I try to smile and laugh with these rude people, or sometimes I just ignore them. Lately, however, it's becoming more and more difficult. Please give me some advice on how to deal with these people, so my boyfriend and I can relax and just enjoy our relationships.

Welcome to the real world. I can almost remember when I was 14 and my first girlfriend. My parents and their friends thought it was cute and called it "Puppy Love."

Now this was many decades ago and kids were not as cruel as they are today though there is one common thread from then to now; jealousy. You have something they don't have and they are jealous it is really that simple.

The rules they are giving you for dating; well the only true rules are the ones your parents give you and your own values. Never kiss a boy on a the first date that was never written someplace, as well as some other rules your friends may give you.

As for the jokes, the rude remarks and anything else. Pretend to be a duck and let them role off your back. There is not much you can do about these things so do as your doing and ignore them.

One thing I will warn you about and this is something that is true for all boys you will meet. Boys between ages 14 through ages of 18 and sometimes highers confuse lust and love. They are hard wired from puberty to find sexual outlets. It is all the new hormones, hence the word horny, floating in them.

Both you and your boyfriend are way to young to be having any type of sexual relationship. While your bodies may be capable. Neither of you are mature enough for the consequences of adult sexual relations.

You would be surprised at the number of letters we get from girls your age, younger and older who think they may be pregnant because they had some type of sex with their boyfriend, even if it did not include intercourse.

It is okay to hug and kiss for now and the immediate future. That is as far as you should allow any boy to go. To be a little bit crude what I am saying is to keep your clothes on and in the proper place.

I'm old enough to be your grandfather and speak from experience on this subject.

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