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He's more sexually experienced
I've recently started seeing a guy that I really like. He treats me well and I have a really good time with him. Recently we (as part of my friendship group) had a discussion about sex and he confessed to having had a very large number of sexual parters (150+), being a member of several swingers club & websites and going to lots of 'sex parties'.
He says that whenever he is in a relationship, he is monogamous, but that he just enjoys sex and doesn't see anything wrong with it. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I can't help feeling that this relationship has no potential for two reasons: a) he doesn't seem to attach any meaning to sex [whereas I do], b) I don't feel that I will be enough to satisfy him in the long term.
Really I'm just looking for advice about what to do, and how to broach the subject if talking about it seems to be the best option!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I do feel there is a difference between sex and love. That does not mean I would ask my wife to join a swingers group. Whether you will be enough for him is not the issue here. There is a lot more to this than just sex or monogamy.
The biggest issue to confront is the the issue of 150 partners. In this day and age that is a lot of past partners to ask anyone to crawl into bed with. Which is what in essence you are doing when you have sex with someone. You are not only having sex with them but their previous partners as well. Can you be certain that he used proper protection with each one? That he does not have a dormant std? This is your life you are talking about and this is a question you must ask yourself.
While it may be possible to separate love and lust. At some point he may want more, meaning meaningless sex. You have already stated meaningless sex does not interest you. How would you handle this if you were in a committed relationship or married?
The first question for me is the biggest problem. I, even though I'm a male and as most women tell us when it comes to women we think with our penis. I don't think no matter how beautiful she may be or how intellectually I may be attracted to her; more than the normal amount of sex partners would be a turnoff to me. When your talking 150 previous partners I think I would be looking for the exit door. In fact I don't think I know I would.
In today's world for either a male or female to expect to find a virgin at what I believe is your age, is asking a lot. Most of people will marry someone with past sexual partners just how many past partners is acceptable is a personal and individual question.
My advise would be not to get involved as you will only end up hurting yourself.
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I would talk to him about your concern's. Sex is a very big issue between couples, and if not talked about it can destroy a relationship.
Tell him exactly how you feel. That althought he has had 150+ partners. You find sex to be more or an intimate connection between two people in a relationship. Explain to him that it is very important to you and not something that can just be thought of as a random thing with not much meaning if that makes sense. Also explain to him how although he is 'experienced'. You feel that you might not 'measure up' to his standards.
Hope this helps:)
;Jasmine<3
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