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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

if i get fingered, will my " cherry " pop ?

The quick answer to your question is yes.

If you asking are you still a virgin the answer to that is also yes.

The expression "popping her cherry" refers to tearing or breaking of the Hymen that partially blocks the opening of the vagina. During fingering the Hymen can be torn.

A girl remains a virgin even though she may lose her Hyman to fingering, horseback riding or other sports activities. Until a boys penis enters her vagina a girl remains a virgin.

Ok so I don't have a partner and I'm so lonely I long to have someone who will love me and me him :( I jus don't seem to fine anyone noone wants me I'm a single mum and my chil is my life they come first and men don't seem to accept that????any helpful words?I jus get down about it sumtimes x

The only advise I have is the same advice I have for anyone looking to find a partner.

Relationships need a solid foundation to build on. Relationships are like anything else we do be it buying a car or a house or even clothing. You need to find away to get past the outer attraction to find the inner beauty. In the case of relationship building part of the inner beauty is our intellect and inner make up.

Booty calls at local bars or mixers are not foundation builders. Their is no common ground there on which to build upon or to get to know someone. If there is any common ground there at all it is one of carnal knowledge which is a poor foundation builder.

If you are to find someone who you can build a relationship with you must first find someone with whom you share a common interest. The common interest is the ice breaker by which you get to know each other and communicate with each other. Communication is the key to laying down the beginning of a foundation to build upon.

Sit sown with a pencil and paper, yes make a written list, composed of those things of interest to you. They could include things such as cooking, hiking, Church, photography, reading, history, so on and so forth. Once you have made your list number them in order of greatest. Start with your top 5 items interest to you.

Get out your local newspaper, not the daily, the weekly one if your town has one. Look in the section of clubs and weekly events. See which of your top 5 interests has a club or event happening in your area and go to the event(s) or club(s). If it is a club continue to go to the meetings. If you like the club join and participate.

By joining different clubs and going to different events of interest to you; you are building circles of influence by which to meet people. You may even meet the person you are looking for. Through these circles of influence you will make friends who will have friends they may want you to meet. That friend may be the person you are looking for.

Common interest and communication are the building blocks of friendships. Friendships are the foundations of relationships. Relationships are what prove to make finding the person or persons we are looking for the easiest way of doing so.

I hope I have helped.

I want to transfer colleges for family reasons next year. I am really bad at confrontation and for some reason I just cannot work up the courage to tell my roommates that I don't want to be here next year. They are my good friends and I don't want them to be mad at me for leaving them and our apartment next year. We have all been getting along really well and I just don't want to ruin the happiness. I really need to tell them I just don't know how to force myself. I know its just something I have to do, but when it comes down to it I tell myself that everyday, and every night I go to sleep without confessing. Please help me, I don't know how to force myself. I also don't want to write a letter or anything like that because I feel like that would be even more rude... Thanks

It is not that you, "don't want to be here next year." You cannot be there next year as you are changing schools. There is a difference.

The difference between not wanting to room with them and not being able to room with them because of circumstances is whole different set of circumstances. The fact that you will not be able to room with them next year is something they can understand if you tell them, that as you told us family reasons are forcing you to change schools. This is a reason anyone can understand.

Now for the flip side of the coin. You owe it to your roommates to give them as much notice as possible that you will not be returning in the fall. I'm sure the costs of rooming together are split among you. Your not returning in the fall means they either have to absorb your portion of those cost among themselves or find a suitable roommate to take your place.

Finding a suitable roommate takes time. I'm sure they want to find someone that fits well with them. The more time they have the more time they have to make a good choice. The longer you wait to tell them the less time they have and then they could get upset with you, though not that your leaving. That your leaving and didn't give them enough time to find a suitable replacement when you knew in advance you were not retuning. Then they would have a right to be upset.

Yes, leaving your friends is hard. If family obligations are causing you to do so then most people, especially friends will understand. So give your friends the time they need so that they too do not suffer a hardship from your leaving.

Are there any products or anything else to make my feet smaller? Except for surgery

The short answer to your question is you can't; not even through surgery. I don't know of any doctor who would do a procedure like that unless there was a medical reason for doing so.

At one time back probably several century's ago, in some parts of the Japanese culture they would bind the feet of female children to keep them from growing. I'm not sure how well or if this worked.

The little I remember reading about it back in school said that binding of the feet caused a great deal of problems for the child as an adult. Since they were talking about times centuries ago they did not elaborate or at least I don't remember just what those problems where.

Your feet I believe are properly sized to balance you. Any adjustments to that sizing be it from accident or purposeful doing will cause you many problems.

I have been with my boyfriend for seven months and I love having sex with him, but lately he has asked for oral.
And I want to do it but I am just scared to do the wrong thing

First things first. You have not said how old you are so I hope you are old enough to be having adult type sexual relations and taking proper precautions.

As for oral sex. It is understandable that something you have never done before would be something you would have concerns over. My rules concerning sex are important to my answer to you so allow me to first explain my rules.

When it comes to anything about sex I believe that as long as both partners are CONSENTING, there is nothing that can or should be considered weird. What goes on in the privacy of ones bedroom is for their enjoyment and of no one else's concern.

The operative word her is CONSENTING. If either partner is turned off by something the other wants to do you don't do it. If the partner who has concerns about something agrees to try something and then anywhere during says stop; you stop as from that point forward it is RAPE. As long as both partners understand this you can have a good and healthy sex life.

How do my rules effect your question: Simple you would like to please your boyfriend but are concerned you will not please him or possibly even hurt him. These are valid concerns. There is a great deal of information you can learn from the web by entering something like; "How to give oral sex to a boy," in to a search engine. A great deal of information will be returned some with diagrams. Some will tell you to practice with different objects such as fruit or certain vegetables.

After reading up on the basic information of the how to do so is where my rules really come in to play. You tell your boyfriend you have never given a boy oral sex. That your willing to try and that he needs to teach you.

This is were another rule I have about sex comes in. Communication: If you are going to have an enjoyable sex life then you have to communicate your likes and dislikes to your partner. Maybe you are a gal that is more clitoral than vaginal. If I am your boyfriend how am I to know this as the majority of women are vaginally turned on. You need to communicate these things to me and let me explore your body and tell me what you like and don't like.

The same goes for your partner. Some men have very sensitive nipples. This does not make them strange but it is something they get pleasure from by having their nipples pinched and sucked on during sex. If I'm one of them and I don't tell my partner how is she to know.

Communicating is the most important thing we do in our lives. Do not be embarrassed to tell your boyfriend you have never done this. Tell him so and tell him you want to try and please him. I think he will be very pleased that you want to try and that you trust him to teach you.

Hi!
I'm a 17 year old girl, and I made a decision quite awhile ago to not have sex again until I'm married. I wasn't proud of it when I did and realized I was too young and not ready. I've also decided just to make friends and enjoy being young and single for awhile. My problem is that I made plans to hang out with a close guy friend I haven't seen in awhile(he moved awhile ago) and forgot that he's, for lack of a better word, flirtatious. He tends to always want to cuddle, kiss, or more. After we made plans to hang out, he showed that kind of interest towards me. I explained to him my decisions and that he's a friend and I'm not interested in dating. So now I'm worried when he comes over he's still going to try cuddle or kiss, etc. I'm just worried because if he does I wouldn't know how to turn him down, and in a way that doesn't make him feel bad and/or make things awkward. I'm not a very confident person with situations like these, so i really need some advice on what to do. Your advice would be very much appreciated! Please help!

Good for you. You may change your mind as you get older and enter the adult world, for now I believe you have made a very sound and adult choice.

Cuddling, Kissing and petting, if it is still called that is not sex. If anything it is a prelude to sex that you can control. Should his hands start roaming to places you do not want to be touched you take his hand a place them back where they belong. You have told him of your decision and that you are just friends and not interested in dating or anything else. By putting his wandering hands back where they belong and gently but forcefully saying no reinforces what you have told him.

You are under no obligation to kiss and cuddle with him. Should you want to that is how you control him. If he doesn't get the message; and by the way stop means stop which he should know. You simply move away from him and tell him you wish to go home.

This is a question for people that are in or were in a relationship and have had three somes. Basically how did it go (did you enjoy it or not, did it ruin your relationship, any other things that came up with it). I've been thinking about it and its been brought up that both of us would enjoy both types but im a little uneasy. When im really horny it all sounds good having two girls to myself and letting someone else be with her at the same time. But when im not im 90 percent sure i would kick the guys ass or and not let the other girl doing anything with me (i wouldnt mind letting her and another girl do stuff with eachother)

When it comes to sex my feeling is that if both partners are consenting then it is okay to do something. From what I'm readying you are not truly consenting. Sure a 3 some with another women would not bother you much but would you partner feel as you do if the 3 some was with another man. That to me would not be a 100% consensual between you.

Statistically Swinging, group sex and other forms of multiple partner sexual events have ruined more marriages then hidden extra marital affairs. Casual sex in marriage for some reason just doesn't work like it does outside of marriage. Jealousy always seems to come into play.

My advice is that based on what you have written; I don't think this is something you and your partner should try.

I've been going out with my boyfriend for a month and he wants to finger me. I'm going to let him, but i don't know what to do before he starts fingering me or whilst he's fingering me. And what feels best? I'm nearly 14

First I don't think you are ready yet to make this jump yet, your question says this to me. It does matter how long you know someone before you let him do something like fingering you, especially at your ages. When your a lot older and more mature and knowledgeable about your own sexuality the time standard changes.

While I do agree with Zane and the writer below him that you need to wait and learn more about yourself and your own sexuality. I'm going to take a slightly different direction here.

You say; "i don't know what to do before he starts fingering me or whilst he's fingering me. And what feels best?" The best way to learn about yourself and what feels good, is to explore yourself. This goes for boys or girls.

Go in your room, undress and lay on your bed or while your taking a bath let your hand(s) wander over your body. Feel you breasts and nipples. finger yourself. See what it feels like. This is how you learn. There is also plenty of information on the web on this topic.

This is known as masturbation which is perfectly normal and a safe way to relieve your own sexual tension.

A reason not to let your boyfriend finger you is your reputation at school. When it comes to sex boys are the biggest gossips ever. He will tell someone who will tell someone else and before you know it you will have a reputation you don't want or need. So tell him to keep his hands to himself and wait until your older before you walk down this road with a boy.

I like to masturbate in the car while my parents go into a store to buy something I'm 13 and a boy I really like to do this of anybody does this or has seen people do this please reply

Masturbation as we all know is completley normal. Doing it in a car; well that is not considered normal. Doing something like masturbating in public, which what your doing is, if caught is a crime. It also could be a fetish; not so normal.

Masturbation, like all sex acts should be done someplace private. Like a bedroom or bathroom. Someplace where you can close and lock a door to decrease the chances of someone seeing catching or disturbing you "in the act".

Their is nothing wrong with masturbating. Statistically 85% of us do so. But like all things sexual this is something that needs to be done in private not where others can watch or see and be offended by what you are doing.

sorry for the length..
Im really confused..lately ive been thinking more and more about this and wondering what is wrong with me. I dont really know how to explain this but my whole life, or ever since i could remember, sometimes every now and then i would randomly out of the blue feel this weird feeling throughout my body..and it made me feel gross and uncomfortable..and if i was wearing something a bit low cut i would feel like i had to cover up or just go somewhere and be alone..i know that sounds really strange and i dont even know why that happens but lately ive been thinking about it and its been happening more often. my mom and dad got divorced when i was 12 and ive been living with my mom so i dont really see my dad that much. my dad always tries to talk to me and hangout with me but i just dont really ever want to anymore..i think its because i recently found out that he cheated on my mom while they were married and thats why they got a divorce..but i also just get this weird feeling when i think about him..i just feel uncomfortable. lately ive been wondering if maybe he molested me when i was little and i just dont remember? because when i look back to my childhood i dont have that many memories of my dad..i know he was there, but i really dont have many. i remember this one time when i was in 4th or 5th grade and my sister was in 6th grade, we were walking up a staircase and my dad was behind my sister and he squeezed her butt for a second and she said something like ew stop..and he was like what your my daughter or something like that..and my aunt (his sister) told him not to do that cause its not right. and thats pretty much the only weird thing i can remember..
when i was 16 i became so promiscuous and loved attention from boys which gradually caused me to do things i now regret. i had terrible self esteem problems. i still do. this is really something i dont like to think about but i was so desperate for attention that i hooked up with almost any boy that wanted to. i wanted to someone to like me so bad, or just have a boy care about me. obviously i was too dumb to realize that having sex with a boy will not make them like you or have feelings towards you. i think i just wanted some type of male figure to have and give me attention and care about me.
im 19 now and have had my first boyfriend for about 6 months now. he makes us have sex everyday and half the time i dont want to. sometimes i dont even feel attracted to him in that way and just want a boy that will love me and care about me and not even think about me in a sexual way. its so weird. sometimes when he touches me it makes me feel weird..i honestly dont want to believe that anything happened to me when i was young and more than half of me thinks nothing ever did. but then why do i feel this way?

I don't have the expertise to properly answer your question. I'm not a doctor and none of us are so we cannot make diagnoses. It does sound like some repressed memories are trying to surface and your history could be consistent with someone who has a background of being abused.

While I'm not an expert I know people who are who you can talk to in total confidentiality. The organization is called RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by trained volunteers who will talk to you with total confidentiality. They will help you find professionals in your area that can help you find an answer to your question. The number for the hot line is : 1-800-656-HOPE.

If you were abused as a child now is the time to find out and work through it. If you work through it you can learn to deal with it and move on. If you try to bury it you will never be able to full and freely function as a sexual and sensual being. Something you have already admitted you have seen the dark side of.

So please call them and ask for their help. The call is free and so is their help.

Ok, so last night, I was laying down in my car. I was looking at my ring, up high, and it fell right on my forehead. Now, i felt my forehead, and it feels really bumpy and it hurts. It hasn't made a mark, yet.
It REALLY hurts. What do I do to make it not hurt/heal it?

That must be some heavy ring to leave a bump on your head.

The best answer is to see a doctor and have it checked out. You could try putting an ice pack it it first. You put the ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes. Then repeat the cycle.

If the swelling does not go down ofter several cycles of this then it would be a could idea to go to either one of those walk in clinics or a hospital emergency room to have this checked out.

If this is just a soft tissue injury the ice should help. If it is more than that, then a CT scan or X ray may be in order.

I want to help her, and I want to help me. How do I stop cutting my arm? She gave me this little metal sharp thing to cut myself; she uses hers too. She did it to help me because it is no sharper than a knife. Help!

You have taken the first step in stopping the cutting by asking for help. Which is writing to us for help. It is a small step but it is a step in the right direction.

There are many different reasons why people cut. Mostly it is because they are depressed and they want to feel something. What they feel is the endorphins released by the cutting. Until you can get some professional help to get at the root cause of your depression the help I am going to offer is the same that the professionals ask of you. It is called transference.

Instead of cutting what I would like you and your friend to do is go out and find the biggest and thickest rubber bands you can find. Let one of the rubber bands. Hang one loosely from one of your wrists. When you feel the urge to cut, snap the rubber band against your wrist instead.

This is much better than cutting as it release the same amount of endorphins, it is safer and you can do it anywhere. You do not have to run off and find someplace to hide and cut. If you try this I believe you'll find this better than cutting.

Next you have to tell someone other than us that you have a problem and been cutting. That someone should be your parents or it could be a trusted teacher or health aid at school. Your parents are the best choice of who to tell.

So please tell your parents and have them take you to your doctor.

19/f, my boyfriend is 18/m. We've been together for a year and three months. We've been living together for 6 months.

Tonight he asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. I know in my heart it feels right, and what not.

We also planned to not get married in exactly a year. We wanna wait a little bit for a wedding to make sure we have enough money to afford a wedding along with our basic needs of life, because things aren't cheap.

I was wondering if this is normal to not get married after a year of engagment?

And I want your opinions as if we got engaged too soon??

I talked to my mom, and she wasn't upset. She said she saw nothing wrong with it as long as I'm not rushing into legal marriage when I'm not finiacially ready, and I assured her I wasn't.

Opinions, please?

There are two different ways of answering this question. The first is the freudian way. Which is to say if you are asking this question then maybe you are not fully comfortable about being engaged at this young age. There are pit falls to young marriages that you may be aware of and this may be rolling around in your subconscious.

I also have to ask are you getting married to get away from a disapproving father? What about college educations for the two of you? Have you given any thought to higher education? What do his parents think?

Those questions bring up the second way of looking at your question. There is nothing wrong with getting married at your age as long as you both realize what you may be giving up by doing so.

What I am aiming at is the new found freedom young adults find for themselves when they reach this age. These freedoms include a move away from home, set up your own limits, do what you want when you want and not having to be responsible to anyone other than yourself.

When you marry you loose some of those freedoms because marriage does bring with it responsibilities to each other. You loose some freedoms but gain others in return.

By marrying this young you lose the chance to experience some of life. The question you need to answer is will you ever come to regret this loss? Will not going to college be something you come to regret?

If my parents were to tell you anything it would be that if this marriage is meant to be it will stand the test of time to wait until you are older. Until you have had a chance to accomplish those things that young adults need to accomplish before they settle down into married life.

Statistically people who marry as young as you two; that those marriages have a greater chance of failing than if you wait 4 or 5 years. The reason is maturity. In those few years you two can mature a lot and grow apart. Where as if you wait and mature separately you will know better if you can have a lasting marriage.

As for your fathers disapproval. It could be for the reasons I've stated or it could be for other reasons. It would be great to have his approval though you don't need it.

I am 23 and my wife is 21 we have a 3 ear old child an she is pregnant again and our sex life has pretty much fallen off the map. How can I keep her interested and how do I say " keep her coming back for more". Please help I miss the feeling of her wanting me. Thank you

Hey guy this is something you just have to put up with. As you found out, it passes once the child is born. For the most part it is hormonal and for another it is just plain physical.

The physical part is when the baby starts to grow and starts shoving her insides around. She is uncomfortable. It matters not what position you may use. Sex for her and many other women is just plain uncomfortable.

If your wife for whatever reason can not bring herself to accommodate your needs, do what the rest of us have done when the need arise. Go in the bathroom and let Ms. thumb and her 4 sisters take care of the problem. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. It may not be totally satisfying but it will take care of the urge.

As with most of us I'm sure your wife will make up for it after the baby is born. After all your wife is pregnant again, right.

Can u mix vodka with only mountain dew or do you need smirnoff pineapple?

By asking this question I am thinking you may not be of legal age to be drinking. In which case I must advise against doing so.

In answer to your question.You can mix anything with almost anything as it becomes one of personal taste. Just be careful as mixing to many can be dangerous.

Today the trend is not to drink mixed drinks but to enjoy the full body of the beverage over ice, neat (meaning no ice), or just with water. Single barrel and single malts are also making an appearance.

Here again this is of a personal taste and for the more sophisticated palette of the adult drinkers.

I am 16 years old and im a girl.im a really depressed person and i dont know where to turn.i have no one to talk to.i dont really have any friends.and i dont have any one to talk to in my family either.i have decided to turn to talk to strangers.Can anyone tell me a specific site to go on to be able to really talk to someone and vent all my feelings?and maybe if one of you guys would like to talk to me?
Thanks.i would really appreciate any useful advice.

There is an organization called NAMI which stands for; National Alliance on Mental Illness. The have a 24 hour hotline, 1 (800) 950-NAMI (6264), you can call to speak with a volunteer who can help you find some one in your community who will help you.

If you are suffering from depression you are not alone. As some one old enough to be your grandfather I can tell you that what is bothering you is what parents of my generation called a phase. Today doctors know a lot more about this so called phase teenagers go through and are able to help them.

We know stress causes depression. We know teenagers today are under a lot more stress then teenagers of previous generations. The depression that most teenagers suffer from is mostly due to the body not secreting enough of one or two hormones that control moods. These hormones can be supplemented with a simple medication taken once a day. Therapy with a qualified therapist is also called for to find out what the stressor trigger(s) is or are and to help you deal with it/them.

On paper it looks simple. In reality it can be depending on you and and how well you work with the therapist. I know this for I am now in recovery from depression and this is how it works. The doctor and therapist can do only so much. The rest is up to you.

i think you are ridiculous for saying that it is not okay for a guy to finger a girl unless he is married to her...i understand the whole concept of no sex until marriage but really..getting fingered is a great feeling and girls cant go through years or until marriage without recieving pleasure from a boy. loosen up you nun.

Flare is right in what she said to you, please be more careful in responding to someone directly.

In response to what you did write you are correct about what is right. There is nothing wrong about being fingered. It is called masturbation or in the case of a boy fingering you; foreplay or mutual masturbation.

Whether you finger yourself or someone else fingers you. This is a very pleasurable and safe way to release sexual tension that has built up.

A recent report I read says that 85% of us masturbate. The report went on to say that contrary to popular opinion most religions do not condemn masturbation. Many may frown upon it for obvious reasons though you will not go to hell, go blind or grow hair in the palm of your hand if you masturbate. These stories are told to young children in an attempt to keep them from doing something that may lead to something else.

im 14 standing at 5/8 and is my 7 inch by 2 1/2 penis big for my size

According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Keep in mind that this is the average, the middle between the largest and the smallest, above the micro-penis (below 2 inches in length). The survey states that size varies based on age, time of day, level of excitement and ambient temperature.

What you are born with is what you have. There is no way to enhance, or enlarge a penis even with surgery. Penile surgery is usually done to assist those with erectile dysfunction when there is no other medical solution that will help.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

As you can see by the size chart of the average female vagina. Any penis over 6 inches in length and 2 inches in girth is larger than the average vagina can easily accommodate. A larger penis will cause a woman with an average sized vagina pain during intercourse, especially if the male is not a thoughtful and considerate lover.

I hope this answers your question.

so me and my fiance of 2 years have had a rocky relationship but its good most days and sometimes bad like any relationship, lately it has been getting worse i have schizophrenia and he knows that and tries to understand what i'm going through and tries to understand what it means to have schizophrenia. lately our arguments have been getting worse he recently physically hurt me and we talked it out and said never again but each time we fight now it gets to the point that he physically hurts me or himself and i'm sure what to do at this point. i love him and i want things to work out but is it the right thing to go through all of that?

Your schizophrenia does not enter into the problem of physical abuse. Yes; I can understand your illness and the frustration he may have in dealing with it. That by no means gives him the right to physically abuse you. Yes; he does have the right and the need to restrain you if you in the throws of your illness are going to harm yourself in anyway. That is the extent of physical non-loving contact he can use with you.

Hitting, kicking, pushing or any other kind of physical abuse is never acceptable; it is called domestic violence and is a crime in every state. If he is hurting you then you need to leave the relationship and go someplace safe.

Should you need help in leaving you can or should call 911. If you need help in finding someplace safe to go then I suggest calling this number. 1-800-656-HOPE. This is the number for a 24 hour hotline operated by an organization called RAINN. Which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. The volunteers who take your call will help you find a domestic shelter in your area to co to. They will also speak with you about things you can do to help you stay safe.

There is also the National Domestic Violence Hotline. There number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233. They two can help you.

Most importantly is for you to find a safe place away from your fiance. It may be temporary while he learns to deal with his anger management issues and to better deal with your illness; or it can be permanent. That is for you to decide. Right now my advice is to separate before you are really harmed.

So, Im a 13 year old girl who cuts. I started at 11. Its nothing big. Im happy most of the time. Except at home. Im not looking for people judging. I have about 7 people i talk to about everything. But only 2 know it all. Im just wondering, what to do? How can i stop? Is there an easy way out? How do i avoid questions about scars? Do i just say i cut myself? Or do i stay silent? What can i do to get rid of the scars? Someone??

First lets do something to stop your cutting as it is dangerous. You could hit an artery and that is not something you want to do. Since I am old enough to be your grandfather I am hoping you will trust what I am going to tell you.

As you will hopefully find out in therapy what doctors recommend is something called transference. What I would like you to do is to go out and find the biggest and thickest rubber band you can find and let it hang from your wrist. When you feel the need to cut snap the rubber band instead against your wrist. This will produce the same endorphins you get from cutting without the danger. Plus you have the added benefit of being able to so when the need hits you and not having to find a place to hide and cut.

The reason you cut is mostly because you have a form of depression. This is not something to get upset about as many teenagers your age are or do have some form of depression. When I was your age our parents said it was a phase we were going through that we would grow out of. Most of us did though today doctors know better and can help you. You don't have to hurt or hurt yourself.

Why are you depressed when you say most of the time you are happy. I'm not a doctor so I can't give you a diagnosis. What I will tell you it is generally felt that most teenage depression is caused by puberty and the hormones now coursing through them. Girls and boys both suffer equally when it comes to this form of depression.

There is a lot of stress placed on teenagers today and stress causes depression. Hence your feeling your happy everyplace except at home. I would guess at home more things are expect of you now. Is this right or wrong I really can't say. My child is 35 years old now. When he was 13 it was an entirely different time.

What I'm going to ask you to do is as I said at the beginning; is to get the rubber band and snap that instead of cutting. Then go to mom or dad and tell them you have been cutting yourself.

They are most likely going to ask why you are doing that and expect them to be upset. This is okay. As for your answer; I would say something like, "I don't know but I want to stop and I need help," should be sufficient. It would be for me.

Mom and dad love you that I am sure of or I believe you would have said something. You need professional help to find the cause of the depression and deal with it. Also to learn to deal with the stress. Do you need medication? That would be up to the doctors to decide.

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