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13andCuts
So, Im a 13 year old girl who cuts. I started at 11. Its nothing big. Im happy most of the time. Except at home. Im not looking for people judging. I have about 7 people i talk to about everything. But only 2 know it all. Im just wondering, what to do? How can i stop? Is there an easy way out? How do i avoid questions about scars? Do i just say i cut myself? Or do i stay silent? What can i do to get rid of the scars? Someone??
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i started at about the same age as u am 13 now and have so mant sdcars i cant count in never hsappy any more and have deppression.mayby u do too.dont stay silent.my parents found out when they saw a cut on my wrists.im seeking therapy but dont really want to stop.seek therapy and figure out why you do this and stop watever it is.
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First lets do something to stop your cutting as it is dangerous. You could hit an artery and that is not something you want to do. Since I am old enough to be your grandfather I am hoping you will trust what I am going to tell you.
As you will hopefully find out in therapy what doctors recommend is something called transference. What I would like you to do is to go out and find the biggest and thickest rubber band you can find and let it hang from your wrist. When you feel the need to cut snap the rubber band instead against your wrist. This will produce the same endorphins you get from cutting without the danger. Plus you have the added benefit of being able to so when the need hits you and not having to find a place to hide and cut.
The reason you cut is mostly because you have a form of depression. This is not something to get upset about as many teenagers your age are or do have some form of depression. When I was your age our parents said it was a phase we were going through that we would grow out of. Most of us did though today doctors know better and can help you. You don't have to hurt or hurt yourself.
Why are you depressed when you say most of the time you are happy. I'm not a doctor so I can't give you a diagnosis. What I will tell you it is generally felt that most teenage depression is caused by puberty and the hormones now coursing through them. Girls and boys both suffer equally when it comes to this form of depression.
There is a lot of stress placed on teenagers today and stress causes depression. Hence your feeling your happy everyplace except at home. I would guess at home more things are expect of you now. Is this right or wrong I really can't say. My child is 35 years old now. When he was 13 it was an entirely different time.
What I'm going to ask you to do is as I said at the beginning; is to get the rubber band and snap that instead of cutting. Then go to mom or dad and tell them you have been cutting yourself.
They are most likely going to ask why you are doing that and expect them to be upset. This is okay. As for your answer; I would say something like, "I don't know but I want to stop and I need help," should be sufficient. It would be for me.
Mom and dad love you that I am sure of or I believe you would have said something. You need professional help to find the cause of the depression and deal with it. Also to learn to deal with the stress. Do you need medication? That would be up to the doctors to decide.
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I started cutting when I was around your age for similar reasons as you described. I talked to my closest friends about it, and I found out that a lot of them were in the same boat as me. Finding somebody who understands what you are going through and talking to them really helps. Cutting can become addicting. Eventually, the addiction to it was actually what made it hard to stop. One thing that really helped me was to get rid of all the things that I used to cut myself. Every time I got the urge to cut, I would think about everything that I loved in my life and everybody that loved me. Tell yourself how much you hurt the people who love you when you cut yourself. As for the questions about scars, you could try wearing clothes to cover them up and using some of the scar fading stuff one of the other users mentioned. Also, you can wear big chunky bracelets or a watch. Whenever somebody asks you about it, you don't necessarily have to tell them anything. I would avoid telling people that you don't trust. I told one of my friends who ended up blurting it out on the bus one day. And there were some people who bothered me about it. So don't make that mistake. All of my physical scars are gone (they faded on their own) but the hardest thing for me was getting rid of my mental scars. It's not bad, it's just that getting rid of the feeling that cutting helps is crucial in the steps to recovery. I'm really proud that you want to stop. It's a long process that's different for everybody so good luck :)
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While I agree with Witty
I learned that cutting is a form of depression, It is a way some people seek to cope with their emotions. The best way to stop is not only to seek an alternative by doing multiple things but also seeking therapy or a support group. A psychiatrist may be able to get you on antidepressant medications if you need to be on them. While cutting can be triggered from numerous things and sometimes while we think it may be the way out it only leaves nothing but scars and painful memories. It is a fact that many people who cut actually end up inducing the pain by self inflicted injury that leads to scarring. Onto what Witty suggested; Use an alternative. Find something that you enjoy and keeps you busy whether it may be reading, writing etc. I've found that when I'm in my depressive state or I've got things running through my mind that journalism helps tremendously. It's great for the mind and excellent way to cope with feelings.
P.S. For scars you can try using Bio oil or Merderma
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I stopped by using a pony tail or a rubber band and snapping it on my wrist. There are support groups for it. We had ove a dozen people doing it when I was in middle school. Somebody started rating people out. Being me. and I saved alot peoples lives by doing i they started getting help I had a mother call my phone and tell me thank you over and over again. it is big and important to stop harming your self is dangerous.
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I agree with Witty, just find some way to cope in a positive manner. Writing and drawing is very popular since it expresses one's feelings.
There is no 'easy' way out sweetie.If you truly are happy, you wouldnt be doing it in the first place. Find what is causing you to do this and fix it.
As for scars, makeup (foundation & concealer) is ideal, long sleeves and sweaters as well. And when people ask pretend you know nothing at all.
**REMEMBER two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
i hope i helped
xoxo--Michelle 16/f (used to cut herself from age 9-12)
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Cutting is a coping mechanism. Something you do which numbs you emotionally so you don't have to deal with emotions.
Honestly, you start by finding new coping mechanisms. Preferably more than one. It can be reading books, playing video games, spending time with friends, watching a show you like, something artistic like painting or drawing, even just writing down what's going on in your head in a journal. All it has to be is something which occupies you enough to let you put a little time between yourself and your emotions so you can calm down and look at your life from a more rational perspective. Something positive which you can enjoy and do while shutting off your brain for a few minutes or an hour or whatever you need.
I don't know much about the scars part and honestly I wouldn't just tell people, but you probably do need to talk to someone about it. Pick someone, or several someones. Find someone you can talk to about what's going on with you who you can trust and maybe get advice from, at the very least just find someone who can listen well and offer some understanding.
Stopping is about willpower. It's about realizing that you don't have to do this to yourself to be OK with your life. So decide, and think up some new things that you can do instead of cutting. And consider talking to a school counselor or something.
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