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how can you tell if you were molested or not..
sorry for the length..
Im really confused..lately ive been thinking more and more about this and wondering what is wrong with me. I dont really know how to explain this but my whole life, or ever since i could remember, sometimes every now and then i would randomly out of the blue feel this weird feeling throughout my body..and it made me feel gross and uncomfortable..and if i was wearing something a bit low cut i would feel like i had to cover up or just go somewhere and be alone..i know that sounds really strange and i dont even know why that happens but lately ive been thinking about it and its been happening more often. my mom and dad got divorced when i was 12 and ive been living with my mom so i dont really see my dad that much. my dad always tries to talk to me and hangout with me but i just dont really ever want to anymore..i think its because i recently found out that he cheated on my mom while they were married and thats why they got a divorce..but i also just get this weird feeling when i think about him..i just feel uncomfortable. lately ive been wondering if maybe he molested me when i was little and i just dont remember? because when i look back to my childhood i dont have that many memories of my dad..i know he was there, but i really dont have many. i remember this one time when i was in 4th or 5th grade and my sister was in 6th grade, we were walking up a staircase and my dad was behind my sister and he squeezed her butt for a second and she said something like ew stop..and he was like what your my daughter or something like that..and my aunt (his sister) told him not to do that cause its not right. and thats pretty much the only weird thing i can remember..
when i was 16 i became so promiscuous and loved attention from boys which gradually caused me to do things i now regret. i had terrible self esteem problems. i still do. this is really something i dont like to think about but i was so desperate for attention that i hooked up with almost any boy that wanted to. i wanted to someone to like me so bad, or just have a boy care about me. obviously i was too dumb to realize that having sex with a boy will not make them like you or have feelings towards you. i think i just wanted some type of male figure to have and give me attention and care about me.
im 19 now and have had my first boyfriend for about 6 months now. he makes us have sex everyday and half the time i dont want to. sometimes i dont even feel attracted to him in that way and just want a boy that will love me and care about me and not even think about me in a sexual way. its so weird. sometimes when he touches me it makes me feel weird..i honestly dont want to believe that anything happened to me when i was young and more than half of me thinks nothing ever did. but then why do i feel this way?
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Well I'm 11 turning 12 soon and when I was 10 my brother-in law started molesting me and it does sound like some kinda memory cause I feel like that to I feel like somone is always watching me and I get so scared! I'm sure that he did maybe you should ask a phycoligist or somthing
Hope everything works out:)
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I don't have the expertise to properly answer your question. I'm not a doctor and none of us are so we cannot make diagnoses. It does sound like some repressed memories are trying to surface and your history could be consistent with someone who has a background of being abused.
While I'm not an expert I know people who are who you can talk to in total confidentiality. The organization is called RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by trained volunteers who will talk to you with total confidentiality. They will help you find professionals in your area that can help you find an answer to your question. The number for the hot line is : 1-800-656-HOPE.
If you were abused as a child now is the time to find out and work through it. If you work through it you can learn to deal with it and move on. If you try to bury it you will never be able to full and freely function as a sexual and sensual being. Something you have already admitted you have seen the dark side of.
So please call them and ask for their help. The call is free and so is their help.
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You don't necisarrly have had to been molested to be confused about your sexuality; with your father gone throughout your childhood you lacked that male figure and everything that comes with it. You learned from your mother but it's really just as important to learn from your father as well. Being promiscuous in high shool isn't exactly surprising since you werent around a husband and a wife that showed affection through words and actions. Everything we do now we've seen; and usually our parents are our models.
What you need to do now is be happy. Go find a guy that doesn't pressure you to have sex, he's not a man and that's what you need. A guy that can show you what real love is and care about you. You may feel down and even undeserving of it but you need to know that EVERYONE makes mistakes, that's how we learn. You sleept with a lot of people you realized that it didn't make you happy and now your moving on to find what does.
But there is one thing that you need to know before doing this. If you don't love yourself (by forgiving your self if you need to) no one can love you. You may have heard this before but you haven't experienced it. What it means is that if you find someone that eventually falls in love with you and you don't love yourself it will not work out. You not caring about yourself, beating yourself up about your past, maybe even putting yourself in danger will not make him happy and it will kill him inside by seing that. Because he will love you and do everything he can to make you happy but it won't be enough because he can't keep you from hurting yourself.
Everyone deserves true love so go out there and find it
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